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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
Tesco Mutherfuckin Vee's Blurty:
| Saturday, October 17th, 2009 | |
| 10:26 am | My Rod And An Arthropod The honeybee extraction went well. Hell, it was fuckin' textbook. I left the abode at daybreak and arrived at the ranch about twenty minutes later. It took me a little time to locate the fuckers since it was chilly out but once I found 'em, it was ON. Striking out, coffee in hand  Gearing up with the protection  Where O where could you little bitches be...  Ahhh...there you are, you fucks, you!  Hellooo  EXPOSED!  VIOLA! ADIEU!  An eighty pound bag of carcasses...and nature's perfect food.  Th, th, th, that's all folks! |
| Friday, October 16th, 2009 | |
| 3:48 pm | Experimental Extermination I have an early morning job to do on a LARGE colony infesting an old, run-down house. I'm going to be trying something new on this one. Thankfully, there'll be no one within a mile of said property because, quite frankly, this could be a clusterfuck! YAAY! I do like the creative ones. |
| Thursday, October 15th, 2009 | |
| 8:14 am | Home  |
| Sunday, October 11th, 2009 | |
| 5:54 pm | Cold Front #1...and the activities to be found So the Texas Treasure gambling ship was closed down in April. Yeah, didn't know that. Plan change went the way of a hunting lodge and good company. Humpal Ranch was the scene of the crime and I pulled in there sometime after eleven on Thursday night. At four-thirty Friday morning we got the coffee down and set out for the stalking of holiday fare. Wild hog is a problem in this area so it was not a problem for us to cull the herd and put together some good cuts of pork. A portion of this meat will be going to the Food Pantry to help feed some of the local poor. On Saturday night we took to the Boiling Pot, got ripped on buckets of beer, ate fine sea fare, whooped it up a bit, and then took in Zombieland...which was fucking great. It was extra joyful to know that my personality, fit to-a-"T", was Woody Harrelson's character. I did dig the shit out of him in this movie, so I suppose it made sense. Here are the usual random images taken throughout the course... Arrival...  The take   The weather when the front hit    Midnight soak over vast amounts of tequila  Lodge   Tenderloin  Steppin' out to Boiling Pot     THE best bugs I've had in some time!!! Super hot, super delish!  |
| Friday, October 9th, 2009 | |
| 7:17 pm | Werd Spent the day hunting wild boar and drinking good brew. Will be slipping into the hot tub later. Tomorrow we have mudbugs and beer. Can not complain. |
| Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 | |
| 10:12 am | Solution! Right, so here's how it's gonna go down... On November 29th I'm gonna fly into Tampa Bay for an Avalanche/Lightning game on the night of the 30th. I'll stick around town until the 2nd or 3rd and then fly back home where I'll meet up with a couple of hermans at Medina lake for an overnight drinkfest. THEN, I'll drive back to San Anto to catch a flight into Albuquerque, N.M. on the 5th of December. Skinny Puppy will play the Sunshine Theater on that night. I'll catch a cab from there and just sleep on the airport floor until my flight back home the morning of the 6th. Viola! |
| Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 | |
| 4:45 pm | Decisions Do I deuce the Skinny Puppy tour dates for a Tampa Bay/Avalanche game in Florida? What to do... |
| Monday, October 5th, 2009 | |
| 9:12 am | Good Morning  |
| Friday, October 2nd, 2009 | |
| 4:07 pm | Fartknocker When did you meet the last male you texted? I don't text. Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? Like a mutherfucker. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? The same person. Who was the last person you went out to eat with? Maryann, Vanessa, Zachary, Marco, Jennifer and her new dude whose name escapes me at the moment. Your phone is ringing. It's the person you fell hardest for. What do you say? "How did you get this number?" How are you feeling at this exact moment? Slightly buzzed and smellin' the food cooking. What is one thing that is currently bothering you? The inconsistency in the weather. Within the next 5 months, what are you looking forward to MOST? Snowboarding. Do you want to cut your hair? Clippers, #2, on a regular basis...so I'm not concerned. Would you rather have roommates or live alone? Roommates were FUN because I could eat their cereal and bang their women when they passed out. Will you be in a relationship next month? My banger and I shall never part. Has someone upset you in the past 48 hours? No. Do you get drunk every weekend? No. What makes you happy? Good food with good friends, socializing over a weekend with like-minded people, endorphins, sunshine and green forests. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Grow old alone and try to ask that question again. Is your profile private? What fucking profile? Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you? **see answer #1 What are you doing right now? Typing this shit. Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? Allllmost became physical. What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Incest is best. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None. Who were you last on the phone with? Maryann. When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? About five minutes ago. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Both have their bright sides, but i'm more suited for relationships. Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you? Like you wouldn't believe. What did you do today? Errands, errands, errands....mixed with a little exercise and masturbation. Have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up? One of the best moments of my life. Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a P or B? Both. What are you doing tomorrow? Mowing, exercise, movies, and I don't know what else. Have you kissed anyone in the last week? Yes. Do you think relationships are hard? Do you think of anything else, Miss Questionnaire Writer? Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days? Yes. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to Jigga. Last person you saw other than family? Mabel. Is there such thing as a perfect relationship? Not for you, Miss Questionnaire Writer. How did you feel when you woke up today? Like killing that barking dog. |
| Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 | |
| 9:55 am | Nature Will Wait So the Big Bend pack-in is off. I've decided to scrape a couple of hermans together for an excursion on the Texas Treasure casino boat. I hope to get blown in public while slingin' watered down drinks and jammin' the one arm bandits. I'll get back to the camping trip AFTER I attend to my need for shennanigans. |
| Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 | |
| 10:15 am | Just A Phone Call Away Click |
| Monday, September 28th, 2009 | |
| 10:05 am | BUSTED! It seems as if the activity of pinning a woman down and shafting her bowels is criminal. Although rarely enforced, the crime of sodomy can carry a stiff penalty...especially if the "victim" is elderly, unconscious, and robbed in the process.  |
| Sunday, September 27th, 2009 | |
| 2:14 pm | The Middle of Nowhere Heading out to the middle of nowhere.  Cows in the middle of nowhere.  Driving through the middle of nowhere, on the way home.  The twilight zone. The middle of nowhere.  |
| Saturday, September 26th, 2009 | |
| 1:25 pm | Werd I'm not sure why I take so many pictures of food preparation these days, I just do. In general, I think I have developed an appreciation for images of day-to-day goings on in other people's blogs. I seem to want to provide the same here. At any rate, enjoy 'em...or don't enjoy them. Either way they'll be here for anyone to view. Bacon-wrapped, chopped antelope steaks  Roasted shicken  Running errands/town square  Morning coffee break in the backyard  |
| Friday, September 25th, 2009 | |
| 9:35 am | Six O'clock Reservation Ahhh, my mom, sister, and aunt are coming to stay a couple of nights so I'm gonna prepare supper for them. I'm doing this for two reasons. First, it's only polite to make dinner, yo. The second reason is for the props I'll get from these three women who are, each in their own right, fantastic cooks. Menu:Roasted chicken stuffed with green onions and rosemary Rancher's rice Sliced carrots in a honey mustard sauce Sopaipillas I'm also making a green chile sauce for the chicken. I'm sure my sister and I will be the only ones eating it since the other two broads can't hang with the spicy shit. |
| 8:33 am | Be Grateful When battling the crotch, if I change lanes and wedge my crumb, don't give me shit for being "out of line". Any women desiring spontaneity in the relationship need to recognize effort when it's being applied. Make up your fucking minds or I'll shitkick your next of kin. |
| Thursday, September 24th, 2009 | |
| 8:25 pm | Turning Left "God, if only I could close my eyes around you I'd know that even I could see beyond the dawn. Once, I painted a masterpiece in whisps of your hair, amid a pool of the deepest velvety brown. Each time you looked at me, the velvet would shimmer like ripples in crystalline water, driven away from the cast stone. I wrote these things to you with the highest of hopes. It seems I'd written this story in a letter or two. Of course, you'd want to see the movie before reading the book. I can't help it." Sometime in 1992. |
| 4:52 pm | Long Ago "Reaching out for her was like punching a time clock." -Jake |
| 2:49 pm | Spare The Hickory Axe Handle, Spoil The Child, Fuckwads I firmly believe in smacking an unruly kid. I believe that whipping the everloving piss out of some insolent little shit is a paren't God-given right. Any bystander who chimes in with an argumentative opinion can suck a gerbil out of Richard Gere's dirty mudchute.  There are battles to choose, of course, but if your kid is acting a damn fool...smack that fucker. One of the problems I see with society here is that some people don't convey the message of accountability when their dumb little spawn is going ape shit. At an early age, children simply do not understand the concept of douchebaggery being met with consequence. During the first few years those little hermans will be pushing the limits to both establish their independence AS WELL AS test your disciplinary convictions. If you don't step up to the plate and serve a beat down every now and then, you're running the risk of raising some bohab douchekateer with a penchant for whining, assbaggery, and a complete lack of respect for your wishy-washy ass. Notice the disrespect dished by this fat little geek:  Does mom get up and put a hurt on that ass? Fuck no. She looks on with spineless shock and a broken vagina. She needs to quit being a fucking bitchface cocksucker and rip that little toad's spleen out through its brown eye. That limp-wristed doughboy slap is the culmination of YEARS spent sparing the hickory axe handle. If she had established her authority early on and put the proper fear of God into that tard, her cheek and pride would be sting-free. Fuck her. It's her fault. When that douchebag grows up to be an obnoxious asshole, and some hardass pipe hittin' nigga hands him a beatdown worthy of a hospital stay, she best not bitch about it. If she does, I'll come and slap her fucking ass again. Keep this in mind. Corporal punishment (in moderation) works. If you can't hit 'em yourselves, send them to me. I'll kick the shit out of them for you. |
| Monday, September 21st, 2009 | |
| 4:08 pm | Monday, September 21, 2009 I'm going to make one of the hardest decisions I've ever been faced with. Tomorrow it will be done. |