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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Tesco Mutherfuckin Vee's Blurty:
| Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 | |
| 8:11 am | Adieu, Capitan! I am a hearty fan of Dicovery Channel's crab fishing show, Deadliest Catch. I found out this morning that one of my favorite captains, Phil Harris, died yesterday from complications due to a stroke. Even though I don't even know the dude, it's sad to read of this. Sad, word. |
| Sunday, February 7th, 2010 | |
| 7:22 pm | Swift Are The Winds...  |
| 2:13 pm | First And Ten...You Silly Bitches So I just got back into town from a little getaway. Thankfully, the weather proved to be beautiful on Saturday, not so much today. That's alright though since I had no real outdoor activities lined up for today. You'd think this to be no big deal...since everyone else seems to be staying indoors as well. Yes, that's right, it's Superbowl Sunday. If you know me then you know that I couldn't care less about this remarkable date in professional sports. What's interesting is that so many people seem to care more about my lack of concern than I do. What's even more interesting is HOW MANY FUCKING FEMALES HAVE GIVEN ME SHIT FOR IT! I do not get it. Truly, I don't. From the initial weekend plan inquiries met early in the week to the outright "WHO-YOU-ROOTIN-FOR?!?!" drivel of yesterday and today, the assault has not ceased. 99.9% of guys don't seem to give a shit when I express a sincere lack of interest. The women? Well, that's another story. Apparently, I'm less of a man since I don't want to slam chips and beer while watching what could possibly be the most boring form of televised entertainment. Yeah, I know how far I stretched the opinion in that last sentence, but seriously. I have actually gotten laughed at, criticized, ignored and shunned...all by women. Aren't these the fucking bohabs who conveniently attach the same sport to their "most loathed man interest/activity" list? I am pretty fucking sure that more than a couple comedy routine punchlines have cetered around football man-love. When expressing an interest outside of this activity, I've received FAR more flack than applaud. This is even more amazing since my preferred activities have been along the canoeing/zoo/movies/live music lines. It truly is because of this double standard, scatter-brained bullshit that I've no problem telling a chick to shut what the pygmies of the Congo's interior used to refer to as "the fuck up". Sincerely, I'll never understand these creatures. |
| Friday, February 5th, 2010 | |
| 12:00 pm | No Whey! I just shelled NINETY bucks for a fucking ten pound bag of whey protein. Before the fucking gas prices raged out of control a couple years ago, that same ten pound bag was around $65. Apparently, just as the hadjis learned, if you raise the prices to unheard of heights, people will still pay. At least the gas prices did go down. Fucking greedy assbags. |
| Thursday, February 4th, 2010 | |
| 11:24 am | I Don't Know, But I've Been Told... I just got back from the gym where the interior temperature was probably in the low sixties. My nipples were hard. I rather enjoy working out in the late morning because I can put in my own music, crank it, and work out without anyone wanting to flap their fucking jaw. Plus, there are usually three or four trophy wives in there maniacally tweaking their already firm figures. The mature eye candy is always a plus. Yeah, I'd have to say that the hours between 9 and noon are the most appealing. Although I might not have anyone there to spot me through forced reps, I at least don't have to maneuver around useless bumps of fat who use the space in a completely half-assed manner. I saw a chick yesterday, a New Year's Resolutioner, who came in, frumpy-stumbled on the treadmill like a tard, and then walked out after only fifteen minutes. Clearly, she was one of those hermans who will commit and apply themselves like assholes and then get pissy and quit after a couple of months. I loathe those fat bastards because they get in my fucking way and stink up the air with their shitty weakness. Whew...I'm alright now. Ok...where was I? Oh yeah, I didn't have any specific point. Whatever. So, word, I rubbed one out yesterday while watching a video of myself rubbing one out to a video of myself rubbing one out. Technically, I understand this to NOT qualify as group sex, but I did try to lie. I think tomorrow I shall hide in the closet and get all bowed up with the shankin' between two full-length mirrors. That way the reflections will cast images to look like a row of fierce masturbatory soldiers stroking one off for the chief. Does that make me gay? Eh, who cares? |
| 8:02 am | OTTO Shake your muthafuckin' ass, ho. |
| Sunday, January 31st, 2010 | |
| 3:22 pm | So Much For Showtime Well, I found my cell phone. It was at the gym, under/in between the 115 lb. dumbbells. Apparently, no one else uses those heavy fucking things. |
| Friday, January 29th, 2010 | |
| 11:23 am | Slap Your Mother I lost my fucking cell phone. The only positive thing about the loss is the inevitable rooting around through video files by the herman who happens across it. There's one in there featuring my throbbing cock pounding and stretching this boobalicious bohab's cunny. Halfway through the clip I pull out, the camera following my bucking cock up to her face. The coup de grâce occurs when I blow my thick load all over her mug, closing in on the scrawled words, "Your Mother", on her forehead. Then I slap her. Party. |
| Thursday, January 28th, 2010 | |
| 3:49 pm | I.D.G.A.F. It has been some time since I last sought to offend, make uncomfortable, or get provocative on this here bloggy blog. I'm not sure what's been going on since my private life has not slowed down in that area. Perhaps it's the lack of post replies, in that the replies were food for my bristling audacity. Yeah, I love the attention and the feeling of being noticeable. Really, who doesn't? However, I do notice and angle of depth in my desires to engage, I just wonder sometimes where the inspiration runs off to. I believe that the season itself has a lot to do with my "creative" direction...or lack thereof. I mean I don't dislike the mental image of viewers who roll eyes, cringe at the sights, or simply out click in the hopes that what they've read or seen can quickly be forgotten. In fact, I relish the thought ;) I know that I've lost my touch through lack of inspiration and challenge. I understand that these elements ebb and flow and I'm always prepared for the down time. It's just that I've spent the last six or seven years investing filth and shamelessness in this here shit rag. I feel that to allow the mood to languish in a lull is a disservice to the efforts I have put into this fucking blog. It's amid times like this when I assess and determine. I want to think about why I enjoy presenting shameless filth, and why it feeds my soul. Am I wretched? Am I insecure? Do I NEED the attention? Nah... I just don't give a fuck ;)  |
| Sunday, January 24th, 2010 | |
| 3:02 pm | Sunday Slumber I actually got sunburned from laying out in the fields. A little aloe vera will square me away. I did enjoy the solitude and natural beauty, as usual. After the slumber I took my ass on over to my fave little hole-in-the-wall eatery. One surf and turf later and I was homebound. It was a very restful day.      |
| Thursday, January 21st, 2010 | |
| 3:56 pm | So Fucking Tired I've been so mutherfucking busy lately and am in need of a good day of sleep. As I sit here typing this shit I begin to nod off. Clearly, it's time for a break. Of course, the only "break" I took today consisted of slingin' heavy metal.  Eh, so be it. I'll rest when I'm dead...or I go to the park ;) |
| Sunday, January 17th, 2010 | |
| 10:33 am | Home I've been on a home improvement tear here in the last week or so. I've put in new doors, installed windows, rewired the entire doorbell system and painted up a storm. I've finally finished painting an entertainment room and adjacent laundry room and have found myself with open space and no idea what to do with it. I do like the back wall color though...  I am now on the lookout for a spectacular, colorful painting to place in the vast sea of red. Obviously, it will have to be large so as to not float. Any suggestions? Eventually, I'll "finish" getting settled in here...probably just in time to sell and move ;) |
| Saturday, January 16th, 2010 | |
| 10:14 am | Euphamism She said "Feed my cat." Seriously, that's what she said. |
| Friday, January 15th, 2010 | |
| 9:25 am | Word Busy, busy, busy... |
| Monday, January 11th, 2010 | |
| 6:50 pm | One More Reason To Miss Santa Fe  |
| Sunday, January 10th, 2010 | |
| 5:33 pm | La Migra! La Migra! I spent a good portion of yesterday afternoon walking some harsh South Texas scrub. Waaaaaay back in the shit on a 10,000 acre ranch, I found this old, fallen down grain container which had been turned into a hiding spot for illegals. Since the ashes were still warm, I was suddenly happy that I'd brought my shotgun out with me. Those shady bitches.  |
| Thursday, January 7th, 2010 | |
| 5:03 pm | Crafty I recently perused the MySpace of a friend of a friend and viewed the following post in her blog: http://blog.wired.com/defense/2008/09/world-of-warcra.html Judging by her own comments and the overall feel of her attitude towards the topic, I felt that she wasn't taking things seriously and needed another point of view to drive home the severity of the issue. My Comment: In reference to your blog post regarding crafty World of Warcraft doom crafters, I must pinch the loaf of comment. It's true. There are droves of international terrorist agencies and cells dedicated to one end: THE COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF THE U.S.A!!! And they are exploiting and manipulating their way towards this goal through our own innocuous wares, right under our noses! What's more, there's an even bigger threat in our own backyard with the resurgence of the domestic terrorist ideal. Truly, the proof is in the pudding as I recently witnessed an entire group of 3K children buying up all goddamn Candy Land board games at a local Wal-Mart. Since Milton Bradley and Wal-Mart are known fascist idealists, one can only deduce an attempt at early terrorist programming through the youth of America. Candy Land, as well as the evil Chutes and Ladders, are but rudimentary, elementary framework tools for teaching invasion strategy and subversion. I followed this group of young terrorists back to their pre-school and watched through the window as they were directed through their doomsday exercises. Although their evil intent was ON, the wretched little douchekateers kept banging up, getting stuck on Licorice Spaces and clusterfucking around the Lollipop Woods. Alas, some day these knee biting vermin will progress and some day someone named King Kandy will slip past us all and nuke us back to the stone age. I'm just sayin'. I hope she takes it to heart. |
| 3:26 pm | And Then... So I kept seeing this "roll tide" crap around, increasingly cluttering my web head. And then I looked into it a bit more with a quick Google search. And then I found out that it was a rally chant for University of Alabama athletics, especially football. And then I didn't give a shit. ...back to the production of more fondle sauce. |
| 1:23 pm | Quote Of The Day Today I stopped by a local Habib to purchase some gasoline. After numerous failed card swipes, and intercom tag sessions debating their insistence against a faulty credit card reader, Habib branded me incompetent. Upon hearing the following reply, the proprietors of the service station shut down my pump and refused to sell me their dino juice. "WRONG, you buttfucking savages!" I say to you, go out into the world today and strike such words upon wretched fools. It'll make you feel much better. |
| Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 | |
| 9:57 pm | In Vino... I've been writing a lot lately as I'm set on making the Paris Review. A producer friend of mine has taken to my works and has shared her enthusiasm for certain passages. I'm currently in the process of compiling and condensing since she offered to drop names and shake tail feathers. I've only but to relay the thoughts. Here in the last few days I've put some thought into a question asked of me by Ogre. He asked if I worked the Bukowski style of writing, as he looked down at the flask to the left of my notes. My answer: "No, not quite as caustic. I do drink, but do not allow the spirits to guide me." Did I lie? |