Tesco Mutherfuckin Vee's Blurty
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Tesco Mutherfuckin Vee's Blurty:

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    Friday, November 6th, 2009
    8:50 am
    Road Way
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    If the road I have been on has led me to this place, then perhaps it's time for me to quit questioning the direction I've taken. Change has always been bittersweet for me, an admitted creature of habit. But for as much as I resist change, I also welcome it and the core-shaking nature inherent in transition. A suppression of emotions and acknowledgements led me to a massive "nervous breakdown" back in July/August. When I hit rock bottom and felt lost in the abyss, I also looked up from that rotten, fuckshit place and realized that I placed myself there. I rallied, and rallied hard as fuck, pulling myself up and out of that place of pathetic weakness, back to something resembling appreciation for being alive. For anyone who has been there, you can understand the difficulty in picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and beginning anew.
    Falling into that emotional hole was just what I needed. It was a reminder. It was a reminder of the value of life and the benefit of a positive outlook. Even as my life couldn't get any easier, I allowed myself to backstep into a deadfall. I had to learn how to stand up again. I was reminded of how easy it is for someone who (unnaturally) battles their status quo to succumb to the trials of life-changing events. Sometimes I feel as if I'm not built for this, this ever present intention to challenge complacency. Then I remember one simple fact: I have ONE shot at this life.
    So this is how a hardcore street urchin willingly trades in his Gibsons for the manly comfort of pull-on boots. Oh, this is not to be confused with a hit to character, but rather a refinement of sorts. I have not given up on where I came from. I have simply aged, matured, and opened myself up to another facet of living. I can honestly say that I am very different from the person I was ten years ago, and have become content with the fact that the next ten years could easliy hold even more change. I've learned to embrace my place, physically, geographically, and emotionally. I'm figuring out how to age gracefully, an increasingly difficult transition for a modern man who has become reliant on advertised experience, rather than that which builds him up from within. I'm more of a fan of manhood now that I ever really was. I'm opening myself up to the things that forge and mill me rather than stamp and mass produce me. Sure, some of these things are considered politically incorrect by today's standards, but that's precisely why I will embrace them fiercely. This is why I saunter down the road less travelled. It took me this far. Why turn now?

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    Sunday, November 1st, 2009
    3:10 pm
    I didn't sleep one wink last night. I'm paying for it today...
    Monday, October 26th, 2009
    8:24 pm
    The Fall
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    Sunday, October 25th, 2009
    12:42 pm
    Harroween
    Mixing tequila, vodka, jello shots, some shooters in a syringe, trashcan punch and beer was not cool. The party, however, was. I may be paying dearly to the party gods at the moment, but the solid memories of last night will linger on. Word.

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    Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
    7:07 pm
    Chef BoyarVee...again...
    So it's Thursday night and I had a friend over for dinner. Tonight's fare was, once again, the ever popular scallops and shrimp. I chose rice with capers and bacon green beans for the assist. Tonight was a bit different though. I ditched the bacon wrapped stuff for a dish of great pan seared scallops. Take a look, yo.

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    Good food and good conversation. You just can't beat it.
    Monday, October 19th, 2009
    1:22 am
    Information Is Key

    DONKEY PUNCH


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    Donkey punch is a slang term for an apocryphal and potentially lethal sexual practice supposedly performed during anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck (what is known in boxing as a rabbit punch, after a technique to kill rabbits) allegedly causing the receiving partner's anal passage to tense up and increase the pleasure of the penetrating partner. When used, the donkey punch is almost exclusively executed during or just before the orgasm of the penetrating partner.


    Feed your mind.
    Saturday, October 17th, 2009
    10:26 am
    My Rod And An Arthropod
    The honeybee extraction went well. Hell, it was fuckin' textbook. I left the abode at daybreak and arrived at the ranch about twenty minutes later. It took me a little time to locate the fuckers since it was chilly out but once I found 'em, it was ON.

    Striking out, coffee in hand
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    Gearing up with the protection
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    Where O where could you little bitches be...
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    Ahhh...there you are, you fucks, you!
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    Hellooo
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    EXPOSED!
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    VIOLA! ADIEU!
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    An eighty pound bag of carcasses...and nature's perfect food.
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    Th, th, th, that's all folks!
    Friday, October 16th, 2009
    3:48 pm
    Experimental Extermination
    I have an early morning job to do on a LARGE colony infesting an old, run-down house. I'm going to be trying something new on this one. Thankfully, there'll be no one within a mile of said property because, quite frankly, this could be a clusterfuck! YAAY!

    I do like the creative ones.
    Thursday, October 15th, 2009
    8:14 am
    Home
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    Sunday, October 11th, 2009
    5:54 pm
    Cold Front #1...and the activities to be found
    So the Texas Treasure gambling ship was closed down in April. Yeah, didn't know that. Plan change went the way of a hunting lodge and good company. Humpal Ranch was the scene of the crime and I pulled in there sometime after eleven on Thursday night. At four-thirty Friday morning we got the coffee down and set out for the stalking of holiday fare. Wild hog is a problem in this area so it was not a problem for us to cull the herd and put together some good cuts of pork. A portion of this meat will be going to the Food Pantry to help feed some of the local poor. On Saturday night we took to the Boiling Pot, got ripped on buckets of beer, ate fine sea fare, whooped it up a bit, and then took in Zombieland...which was fucking great. It was extra joyful to know that my personality, fit to-a-"T", was Woody Harrelson's character. I did dig the shit out of him in this movie, so I suppose it made sense.

    Here are the usual random images taken throughout the course...

    Arrival...
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    The take
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    The weather when the front hit
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    Midnight soak over vast amounts of tequila
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    Lodge
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    Tenderloin
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    Steppin' out to Boiling Pot
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    THE best bugs I've had in some time!!! Super hot, super delish!
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    Friday, October 9th, 2009
    7:17 pm
    Werd
    Spent the day hunting wild boar and drinking good brew. Will be slipping into the hot tub later.


    Tomorrow we have mudbugs and beer.


    Can not complain.
    Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
    10:12 am
    Solution!
    Right, so here's how it's gonna go down...

    On November 29th I'm gonna fly into Tampa Bay for an Avalanche/Lightning game on the night of the 30th. I'll stick around town until the 2nd or 3rd and then fly back home where I'll meet up with a couple of hermans at Medina lake for an overnight drinkfest. THEN, I'll drive back to San Anto to catch a flight into Albuquerque, N.M. on the 5th of December. Skinny Puppy will play the Sunshine Theater on that night. I'll catch a cab from there and just sleep on the airport floor until my flight back home the morning of the 6th.

    Viola!
    Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
    4:45 pm
    Decisions
    Do I deuce the Skinny Puppy tour dates for a Tampa Bay/Avalanche game in Florida? What to do...
    Monday, October 5th, 2009
    9:12 am
    Good Morning
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    Friday, October 2nd, 2009
    4:07 pm
    Fartknocker
    When did you meet the last male you texted?
    I don't text.

    Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight?
    Like a mutherfucker.

    This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
    The same person.

    Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
    Maryann, Vanessa, Zachary, Marco, Jennifer and her new dude whose name escapes me at the moment.

    Your phone is ringing. It's the person you fell hardest for. What do you say?
    "How did you get this number?"

    How are you feeling at this exact moment?
    Slightly buzzed and smellin' the food cooking.

    What is one thing that is currently bothering you?
    The inconsistency in the weather.

    Within the next 5 months, what are you looking forward to MOST?
    Snowboarding.

    Do you want to cut your hair?
    Clippers, #2, on a regular basis...so I'm not concerned.

    Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
    Roommates were FUN because I could eat their cereal and bang their women when they passed out.

    Will you be in a relationship next month?
    My banger and I shall never part.

    Has someone upset you in the past 48 hours?
    No.

    Do you get drunk every weekend?
    No.

    What makes you happy?
    Good food with good friends, socializing over a weekend with like-minded people, endorphins, sunshine and green forests.

    Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
    Grow old alone and try to ask that question again.

    Is your profile private?
    What fucking profile?

    Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
    **see answer #1

    What are you doing right now?
    Typing this shit.

    Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
    Allllmost became physical.

    What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
    Incest is best.

    How many cigarettes have you smoked today?
    None.

    Who were you last on the phone with?
    Maryann.

    When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
    About five minutes ago.

    Are you happier single or in a relationship?
    Both have their bright sides, but i'm more suited for relationships.

    Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
    Like you wouldn't believe.

    What did you do today?
    Errands, errands, errands....mixed with a little exercise and masturbation.

    Have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up?
    One of the best moments of my life.

    Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a P or B?
    Both.

    What are you doing tomorrow?
    Mowing, exercise, movies, and I don't know what else.

    Have you kissed anyone in the last week?
    Yes.

    Do you think relationships are hard?
    Do you think of anything else, Miss Questionnaire Writer?

    Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
    Yes.

    What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
    Listened to Jigga.

    Last person you saw other than family?
    Mabel.

    Is there such thing as a perfect relationship?
    Not for you, Miss Questionnaire Writer.

    How did you feel when you woke up today?
    Like killing that barking dog.
    Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
    9:55 am
    Nature Will Wait
    So the Big Bend pack-in is off. I've decided to scrape a couple of hermans together for an excursion on the Texas Treasure casino boat. I hope to get blown in public while slingin' watered down drinks and jammin' the one arm bandits.

    I'll get back to the camping trip AFTER I attend to my need for shennanigans.
    Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
    10:15 am
    Just A Phone Call Away

    Click
    HERE
    for hot, buck wild phone sex!!

    Monday, September 28th, 2009
    10:05 am
    BUSTED!
    It seems as if the activity of pinning a woman down and shafting her bowels is criminal. Although rarely enforced, the crime of sodomy can carry a stiff penalty...especially if the "victim" is elderly, unconscious, and robbed in the process.

    "BAAAAARG! NOT IN THE BUTT!!"


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    Sunday, September 27th, 2009
    2:14 pm
    The Middle of Nowhere
    Heading out to the middle of nowhere.
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    Cows in the middle of nowhere.
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    Driving through the middle of nowhere, on the way home.
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    The twilight zone. The middle of nowhere.
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    Saturday, September 26th, 2009
    1:25 pm
    Werd
    I'm not sure why I take so many pictures of food preparation these days, I just do. In general, I think I have developed an appreciation for images of day-to-day goings on in other people's blogs. I seem to want to provide the same here. At any rate, enjoy 'em...or don't enjoy them. Either way they'll be here for anyone to view.

    Bacon-wrapped, chopped antelope steaks
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    Roasted shicken
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    Running errands/town square
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    Morning coffee break in the backyard
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