Ali's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Ali [ website | My Waste Of Space ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep. [04 Feb 2003|08:23pm] [ mood | pessimistic ] [ music | lisa loeb - stay ] I've been having a very bad year... decade... life. Nothing ever goes right and Im definitely not letting my 'friends' walk all over me anymore. Im sick of doing things for people and they dont do anything back for me. Im not selfish but if I give someone a ride, many times to places they really want to go and dont want to miss I expect atleast a few rides back... but I dont get rides. I dont get invitations.. I dont think I even get a real friendship. Im really sick of people walking all over me... forget everyone. Forget people who think they can talk shit to you and then expect a month later for you to be able to forgive them. That's really shallow. Some things cant be solved with apologies. And you're an idiot for thinking they could. Especially when one of your reasons for being an asshole in the first place was 'oh my friends hated you so I figured I was suppose to too' .... yeah. That's real mature. I dont think anyone my age thinks with their own brain. No one. Except me. Seriously and I may sound like an asshole for saying that but I dont care. It's true.. maybe one other friend I have.. but I think she still is influenced at certain times, but most of the time she's not. One reason why Im not influenced I think, is because I really dont have many close friends.. so there isnt anyone to influence me on anything. Everyone else my age is influenced by other people all the time. and regaurdless if they want to admit to it or not, they still are. When people say they're sorry and that things will never change like that again.. but then you get into an arguement with another one of their friends and they stop talking to you.. again. It's hard to believe any of you will ever change. And if you think this is to you, it probably is. If you're planning on asking me if it's for you, dont bother. Im not going to start problems and have you bring all your 'drama' to me. Im only in highschool for a year and a half more... I want to make it as easy as possible. But if you do think it's for you maybe you can just take a hint and try to change. Because Im sure Im not the only one you're doing this too or doing something similar to. This goes out to a lot of people too, I should add. I really dont care about anything anymore. Although, in some peoples words, im 'just a body with no personality' so.. I guess I never really could care about anything in the first place right? and I know that's taken from what somebody a while back.. but I still remember that.. and I still hate you for that.. and every other thing you said. Even though you did apologize, I dont care. If you were to die.. I wouldnt goto your funeral.. like when you said 'i wish i never met you, we should just pretend we never met, erase eachother from our memories' even though I guess you changed your mind now, I didnt think that was right when you said it but I think it is now. You can only fuck someone over so much until apologies arent worth anything. 1 comment|post comment

quizzes are fun [04 Feb 2003|07:27pm] [ mood | blank ] Beetlejuice & The Deets *Your ideal animated family* brought to you by Quizilla Vincent Which Tim Burton's movie charcter are you? brought to you by Quizilla Ren~You are Ren Hoek.you are rude & sometimes evil to your friend Stimpy. Most of the time you look for ways just to better yourself. But even though you won't admit it, you do have a soft side, for you cannot live with out your bestest friend. Which Ren & Stimpy character are you? brought to you by Quizilla Snorks You are an 80's cartoon...but which one??? brought to you by Quizilla You are Nancy~You are one crazy bitch! What character from the The Craft are you? brought to you by Quizilla surgery: you wish things could go back to how they used to be. you wish you could change, but you can't. you know you shouldn't change for anything or anyone. which jack off jill song are you? brought to you by Quizilla post comment

stupid sister [04 Feb 2003|12:54pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | cradle of filth - born in a burial gown ] I stayed home today, I hate delays... My sister is such a bastard. Im all relaxed enjoying my day home alone.. and she comes home to ruin it. At first she just went up in her room and I was like alright maybe this wont be so bad.. so then I made something to eat.. so her and her fatself was like 'ooh what're you making? Im hungry' and I wasnt about to make her shit so I got an attitude and was just like nothing. So she ended up making soup... while I was eating she came out with her soup and was like 'are you gonna do the dishes' and I didnt plan on it so I was like no and she got this big fuckin attitude like WHY NOT? and i was just like what the fuck why do you care and she went on about how she thinks i never do anything for my mom blah blah blah ... but she's never fucking here, she only comes here to feed her fat ass and I told her that she was just like ooook. Then about 5 minutes later I was playing with my dog and she's like omg yuo're being mean, dont be mean to her. so I turned around and im like fuck! what the fuck do you want from me! and she didnt say anything. Dude she pisses me off like you wouldnt believe. She's fucking bovine, grotesque... I fucking hate her. she comes home just to eat and fucking harassing me... christ. Oh well, this journal fucked my background and said I had to pay to use my own background? so fuck it. post comment

this is funny [03 Feb 2003|07:22pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | the nightmare before christmas - this is halloween ] You're my best friend, Ali.. you fucking rock. You know you must be cool if you're her. Which One Of My Retarded Friends Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Jessica Rabbit Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ? brought to you by Quizilla hell yes, Who Framed Roger Rabbit was hawt. You are Sally! You are the voice of reason, but it seems nobody listens. You try and save the day but end up getting saved. Hey, at least you Jack right? Which Nightmare Before Christmas Character are you? brought to you by Quizilla another good movie Cruelty and the Beast: You are "Cruelty and the Beast", essentially you are a notorious and beautifull killer, with a lust for blood, you crave and bathe in it. Pale and suductive. What Cradle of Filth CD are you? brought to you by Quizilla post comment

boring day... [03 Feb 2003|06:08pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | twisted sister - i wanna rock ] Yeah, today was extremely boring. I went to school, got my schedule changed a little.... I have health now and... this part sucks.. I had to try, actually try, to pass Desktop Publishing, I think a computer class would be easy but it's definitely not... but what do I get next half year? computer lit. with the same teacher... this sucks. But I think computer lit is easier, I looked at the outline and it doesnt look too complicated. Desktop publishing, in my opinion is harder than us history and government. but oh well. I guess today was one of my better days. Me and Sarah almost got to go and apply after school but I forgot I had a doctors appt. so we're doing it tomorrow. finally! I need money dude. but as soon as I get it Im probably going to have to quit because when I get my labret done I dont think there's anywhere that will let me work with it in. but.. nothing matters and I dont want to sound like Im bragging. But basically... my life still sucks... nothing good, everything bad... blah blah blah post comment

still bored.. so lame quiz [02 Feb 2003|05:18pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | dimmu borgir - burn in hell ] [ A Last time for everything.. ] Last book you read : Othello? for english class Last movie you saw (in theater): I cant remember Last song you heard: cradle of filth thirteen autumns and a widow Last thing you had to drink : water Last time you showered : yesterday afternoon Last thing you ate : pasta [ Fashion ] 1. Do you wear a watch : nope 2. How many coats and jackets do you own : 1 4. Most expensive item of clothing : hmm, my shoes... 5.What kind of shoes do you wear: saucony 6. Describe your style in one word : a little bit of everything [ Friends ] 1. Do your friends 'know' you : not really 2. What do they tend to be like : funny.... looking! haha jk :) 3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked : probably not, not many people like me 4. Are there people that you tell everything to: mmm no... [ Other ] 1. Favorite band ever: ever?? hmm....Orgy haha I've liked them since I was in 7th grade their cds have a lot of memories 2. Most listened to bands : VNV Nation, Nirvana, The Clash, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir 3. Do you find any musicians good-looking : some of them 4. Can you play an instrument : some what.. 5. Type of music listened to : gothic, hardcore, some old school punk 6. Type never listened to : chinese pop, I heard one song on much music once and it's terrible [ Homosexuality ] 1. What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands : mm I dont care 2. Do you agree or disagree with gay or lesbian couples bringing up children: i dont care [ Stuff ] 1. Do you own any plaid clothing : no, not really 2. Do you own Converse shoes : yeah, but I hardly wear them anymore 3. Do you own Saucony shoes : yep I live in them 4. Do you own old school Nikes : cant say that i do 5. Do you wear tight pants : noooo I hate tight pants I dont like baggy either though.. just normal 6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants: nope 7. Do you know what a squatter flap is : yeah 8. Do you own a messenger bag: yep 9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest: no 10. Do you own braces : nope 11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth : yes 12. Do you have short, shaggy hair : yep 13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches : just about 3 i think 14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon: it use to be 15. Do you think mohawks are "neat" : neat? definitely not neat. 16. Is your hair black or red : neither 17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye : nope 18. Do you own a bandana : no 19. Do you wear plugs in your ears: yes 20. Are you amused by safety pins: fucking gay 21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute : ... fucking gay. 22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them: Im not punk. 23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip Service, or Tiger of London : yesss from last year 24. Do you enjoy leopard print : fuck yea [ Habits/Beliefs ] 25. Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything): definitely 26. Are you an anarchist : no 27. Does the American flag anger you : no... 28. Are you "working class" : I dont have a job 29. Do you dislike "preps" : not all of them, but the majority of them 30. Do you dislike Hot Topic : ehh.. I use to, but it's just clothes and I dont give a shit anymore 31. Do you smoke cigarettes : sometimes 32. Do you smoke cloves : that's just a little too emo for me 33. Are you a thin waif : definitely not. 34. Are you vegan/vegetarian : no 35. Do you think meat is murder: yes... Im a hypocrit... 36. Do your nighttime activities usually involve drunken underage vomiting: haha it use to.. but lately no 37. Have you ever slept in an alley or park: hmm, no. 38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week: haha over the summer sometimes 39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower: yep... 40. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor : lol no 41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is : nope 42. Do you like Mr. Kerouac : sure. 43. Are you a member of the Makeout Club : ... fucking gay. 44. Do you say "rad" : never [ Other ] Name : Ali Do you like it : sure.. Nicknames : ... some people call me faggot Screen names: vice sky Birthday : 11-17-86 Sign: scorpio yo Location : shitville Status : independent and unhappy Crush : eh... I dunno anymore Virgin : no Natural hair color : dark blonde Current hair color : blonde Eye color : blue or green.. depends on what I wear Birthplace : Albany Shoe size : 8 [ Family ] Parents : yep Siblings : a brother whose 19 and a sister whose 22 Favorite relative : I dont know... [ Favorites ] Number : 7 Color : black, green Day : saturday Month : august Song : Dimmu Borgir - Puritania Movie : Faces of Death, Suburbia, Strangeland, American History X Food : I wish I was anorexic Season: autumn Sport : none Class : english Teacher : Mrs Ladue Drink : water or gatorade Veggie : broccoli or potato TV Show : the osbournes is funny and anything on sci fi Radio Station : I never listen to the radio.. seriously. Store : h&m Animal : probably a seal or whale or dolphin or something ocean living Flower : rose [ This or That ?] Me/You : you Day/night : night Aol/aim : aim CD/cassette : cd DVD/VHS : vhs Jeans/khakis: jeans Car/truck : car Tall/short : tall Lunch/dinner : lunch Lipstick/Lipgloss: lipstick Silver/Gold : Silver post comment

bored... so some quizzes [02 Feb 2003|01:48pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | vnv nation - standing ] Which era in time are you? haha.. that's not even close. You're a Deathrocker/Goth-Punk! You're into old school gloom-n-doom ghoul punk music, ripped up tight clothing, and big hair cut into unnatural designs. You recognize the cheesiness in Goth, and play with it to your benefit. What kind of Goth would you be? brought to you by Quizilla post comment

living is the root of my problems [01 Feb 2003|09:25pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | paul simon-graceland ] ok, lately I have been very irritable. Every little thing has pissed me off. And it sucks. But I know that living is seriously the root of all my problems.. If I wasnt living I wouldnt have any problems. Im sure what people are thinking is that 'well living is the root of all the good things too' well fuck no, not when you dont have any good things. The only good thing that people could say I have is food shelter clothing blah blah blah but fuck that all when you dont have happiness. There's no point in living like this. I talk to myself so much in my head just to get myself through the day at school. It's fucking pathetic. What is the point of living like this? Honestly, there is no point. No fucking point at all. I cant stand anyone lately. But I just get along because if I dont then life will be that much worse. I cant stand being home either. Everything about being here pisses me off. Well, there are so many things that piss me off, there's no point even writing them down. I have so much shit I would love to write in here, but who knows who reads this... and people would probably talk shit to me about it. Im surprised I havent gotten any anonymous posts of shit talking yet... which Im sure will come now. That's how pathetic people are. Wasting so much time on other people... I hate it. I hate everything. I hate my life the most though. I've got to get a fucking job. I applied at rite aid and price chopper but no one's called me yet. Me and sarah are supposed to apply at Jrecks subs but she hasnt called me, so I think tomorrow Im going to go down and get 2 applications myself and just give her one in school... and then Im going to get some from CVS too... I just need a job... I think I wrote this before but Im not sure. My parents said if I got money to pay for it I could get my labret pierced. I originally wanted my lip done but I guess that's some big sin... so I'll settle for labret. Another things that pisses me off is when people leave important messages on your aol that leave you worried and then you want to call them and find out what the hell is going on and they're not home. And another thing that pisses me off is that there are no IMAX theatres around here. This is going to sound really stupid but I've been seeing the Lion King advertisements on disney channel and I would fucking die to go see that movie in an imax theatre... but, of course. I live in upstate new york ... which fucking blows and there is jack shit around here. when I graduate Im thinking about moving to florida... or texas.. haha somewhere WARM... that's all I care about, and someplace with good bars... because im going to be a bartender and all... well, you dont give a shit about any of this so I'll stop writing 1 comment|post comment

[30 Jan 2003|09:39pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | the get up kids - overdue ] you know what pisses me off... when people have cool icons and I dont... :( I dont know how to make the cool ones that move and all that shit. I dont have a cool picture to put in them either but still I want a cool icon. Katy and me were talking about emo music earlier and I forgot how good The Get Up Kids are... so I started downloading all their songs off kazaa again... I use to have them but I deleted them a while ago when I thought I was too good... too good for emo. too good for you. too good for everything. not. now I have a new look... not good enough for anything. which I think has a lot more truth to it. It must, because thats the reason nothing ever works out for me. I dont know, all I do know if I need a job, which by the way, is another thing that hasnt worked out... I applied to Rite Aid and Price Chopper and neither have called back.. I applied about 2 weeks ago.. and Sarah keeps saying someday we're going to apply at Jrecks Subs but that's doesnt look like it's going to happen either... Another reason I hate going to school, I hate seeing people getting shit on when they really dont deserve it. Like certain people are assholes and do deserve to get harassed and what not. But some people just dont deserve it... and that is really lame. Its like going to school with a bunch of 5 yr olds.. I cant stand it. I wish some people would just grow up, it's just highschool.. it's nothing... we should all come to an understanding that it sucks and stop distributing pointless shit talking and harassment when it's not needed. 1 comment|post comment

blah... [30 Jan 2003|08:04pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | moby- in this world ] so ujournal deleted my account or just got deleted altogether, either way, i need a new journal. so here I am... Well, today was boring, passed my english regents, blah blah blah... chris hasnt called me, and the more I think about it, the more I dont care. I havent really talked to him in 2 years and yeah Im glad I finally heard from him, but he's just an idiot. he doesnt make any sense in what he says and when I question him he's like 'oh that was 2 years ago it doesnt matter now' but certain things do matter now, a lot. even though im only 16 and anything in my life right now will have no irrelovance to anything about 5 years right now... it still matters.but oh well.. I'll update more later.. just want to get this thing figured out post comment

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