I forget myself, I want you to remind me.'s Blurty

Subject:	THANK YOU GRANDDAD FOR FLASHING THE ENTIRE MEXICAN RESTAURANT.
Time:	11:18 pm.
Mood:	okay to a better degree..
Music:	Luminescence - Mirah and Spectratone International.

23 Deep Questions
[ Not simple questions like "How Old Are You?" ]

1) What is more difficult for you; looking into some one's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into some one's eyes when they are?
-I don't really think either. I mean I kind of try and work at those things. Probably the former, but usually I'm open about how I feel, be it in general or about them.

2) Think of the last time you were REALLY angry?
-Today I was fairly angry but really really angry? Probably the gianni thing.

3) You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to call one person...who would it be?
-Either dad or noelle. probably dad. yeah dad, he deserves it much more.

4) You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have cancer, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
-I think it wouldn't be fair to not tell them. I'd tell the people who deserve to know it, but I would ask them to not let it get them too down. Also who wants to be alone with that information?

5) What do you do with your remaining days?
-honestly? have sex with at least one of a certain list. See all the people I love, see all the places I want to see. Write a lot, I think. Write down all the things in my head, and letters to anybody who should get one.

6) Would you be afraid?
-Probably, but I hope that I'd be strong and get past that. I think finding out what happens after is the reward of dying.

7) You can have one of the following two things: trust/love?
-I don't think you can have love without trust. I still haven't really figured out trust.

8) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street..What do you do?
-Tell somebody and call an ambulance. Doggy ambulance? I wouldn't know what to do. And I don't work. And don't dogs swim?

9) Where would you want to go and live the rest of your life?
-where do I want to go? I have a list and it gets bigger every day. I don't know where I wanna settle down. Maybe I never will. Maybe in Sweden or Australia. Or Scotland, England. There are so many places. I look forward to finding the right one. Maybe just up in oregon?

10) Who's the last person who you knew that died?
-David. It kinda hit me late that he was really gone, but we were never close anyway. I was sad about Pat, too. I don't think I've ever cried over anybody's death, though.

11) Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
-I hope so. I definitely didn't used to be, but I'm working on that. I might bug me but it'd be interesting to find somebody else just like me. There are definitely a few that come close.

12) If one of your friends cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend and you were friends with them too, would you tell them?
-I would get the cheater to tell the cheated. If they won't then it's none of my business. But I guess it depends who I'm closer to. Idk, there can be a lot of different situations.

13) Your best friend(s) dies, what would you do?
-The sad thing is that I've had to think about this. Right now I don't have a best friend, but if we're talking about like, an old best friend? like noelle, ashley, hana, austin, and I think devon counts. I'd be devastated. I have no idea what I would do, and I wouldn't know what to do when it happened.

you have no idea how confusing that last tense was.

14) When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
-about them? or how I felt like how I'm doing? cause really either one would probably be like...today. Yeah with catherine it was really nice. she's a really great person. it was kinda sweet with eric, too. aw I'm getting all teary eyed now, friends have been really good do me with all the drama lately. as for how I'M doing, I mean I've talked to people about it. I haven't really gone into a whole lot of detail, but I'm not lying saying I'm all fine and dandy.

15) What would be harder, for you to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
-I think harder telling them you don't love them. Negative tends to be the tougher.

16) Have you ever lied to someone about your feelings?
-yes.

17) Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
-today.

18) If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would you change?
- If I HAD to? Not sure. I'd like to say something about Matt, but there's really no way to change that without losing the things that have become a part of me and that I'm not sad about. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't know...maybe I'd give Noelle a happier life somehow. Or something with my parents and money or something.

19) Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
-if I knew it absolutely. and if they wanted it.

20) Are you old fashioned?
-Yes and no. I get a lot of old person references but I'm also pretty up to date. I'm just kinda a mix of everything.

21) Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved at all?
-it depends what kind of love you mean. but actually, fuck that, heart break isn't that bad. I wouldn't give up on years of possible love just to avoid that pain.

22) Have you ever truly experienced love?
-no. not romantic love. but yes if you mean any other kind of love. I have major love for a lot of people.

23) Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
-I sure as hell hope so.

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