|
|
Monday, September 27th, 2004
| |
11:40 pm - Mess up
|
Well, my second year in HKU has already started for a few weeks. I would say my current U life is a total mess up.... 'coz I did fall behind ALL the readings schedules... shIt! I don't know what the hell is going on with the stupid Chinese Urban Culture course! It seems I'm studying something really absurd because of the fxcking course regulations of Bachelor of Arts!
For today's Perception lecture, I just couldn't concentrate! First of all, the lecturer was teaching so fast and as a matter of fact, he spoke really fast and ambiguously @l@. Second of all, those stupid fellow students sitting behind me kept on chatting over unimportant matters like "Do you think XXX society is good?" etc. It really made me mad 'coz I just don't understand why these so-called "the best" HKU students behaved like primary school students! They don't know what is RESPECT and surely they don't consider their behavior as NON-RESPECTFUL to themselves!
I think HKU has only 3 kinds of people, the first kind is the bookworms who are obviously distinguishable from their outlooks; the second is the naive people who know nothing but squander all the time, and they are the most pretentious and distrustful group of all and most ironically, they are the ones who are considered as the smartest by the public..... (which I personally don't agree with). Apparently, they are easily recognized by their foolish and naice behaviors. The third kind is those who are trying hard to maintain their normality, fighting against the other two groups and trying not to be affected. It seems I give a relatively high praise to the last group, but I don't mean I am one of those people, don't get me wrong. I think I don't belong to any of those groups 'coz I think I haven't been belonged to this place! This living hell just doesn't fit me at all!
Oh, I talked too far away from my topic... Well, back to the topic, I was very much annoyed by the stupid students sitting behind me and the lecture ended nearly 30 minutes earlier. I went to Kwun Tong to give tutorial lesson at about 18:30. The lesson originally started at 18:00, but I took the wrong tram to Happy Valley instead of going to Causeway Bay (where I can take bus 601 to Kwun Tong) and so I was late.
For the whole week, I was thinking of Mr. J.
I thought I saw him working in Mong Kok last Saturday. I'm not 100% sure if the one I saw was he, but I still had 75% sure it was he. At that moment, I really wanted to get off the bus, which I was taking, and stepped forward to his working place and talked to him. Unfortunately, I didn't have the courage to do so..... And today I read his online diary and he said he was so tired of writing anymore.... I'm so afraid that he would give up writing. If so, I would lose his news again.....
Please don't stop writing there!
current mood:  annoyed
current music: << My Happy Ending >> by Avril Lavigne
|
|
|
| Monday, September 6th, 2004
| |
5:58 pm - boredom
|
It's been soooooooooooooo long that I haven't updated here!
There're only a few days left before my new semester begins. Well, I just don't want to go to school now 'coz I get used to the free living style I had during summer vacation!! On the other hand, I feel quite bored now 'coz I don't have anything sepcial to do..... How contradictive I am!
A few days ago, I got some news about Mr. J, who occupies certain importance inside my heart. I just can't stop thinking of him after that.... But in reality he's living a life that's toally irrelevant to me! It's a bit weird that I can get hold of his latest news while he knows nothing about me at present... It's like he becomes my favourite "idol" and I keep searching news of him and he doesn't care. It's really weird...
*Where do you go when you're gone?
Where do you go when you're gone?
Oh how the road seems so long?
Where do you go when you're gone?*
current mood: bored
current music: When you're gone By Hanson
|
|
|
| Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
| |
1:51 am - Who will come to me????
|
When there is no light to guide me
And no one to walk beside me
Who will come to me? Who will come to me?
When the night is dark and stormy Anyone will reach out for me?
Who will come to me? Who will come to me?
Sometimes when all my dreams may have seen better days When I don't know how or why but I've lost my way
Being so fear when my tears are falling No one would hear my spirit calling
And no one swears that he'll be there come what may
.
.
.
We all need somebody we can turn to Someone who'll always understand
So if I feel that my soul is dying And I need the strength to keep trying
Who will reach out and take my hand????
Adapted from Hanson << I Will Come To You>> (1997) by me. This song now best described my feelings from the bottom of my heart............
"紅眼睛 幽幽的看著這孤城 如同苦笑 擠出的高興"
current mood:  morose
current music: <<傾城>> By 許美靜 Mavis Xu
|
|
|
| Saturday, February 14th, 2004
| |
10:08 pm - Miss you much...
|
忘記了世界這分鐘 跌進了這愛的裂縫 燃亮燭光 祗管相擁
來佔據了這晚星空 捉緊一剎那的認同 如夢的將來 儘管點不懂
* 完全明白是放縱 但是祗得這刻可相信
未來又怕會 終於都撲空
#你叫我最快樂你也叫我最心痛
愛在迷惘中 你叫我最渴望 卻也叫我猜不中 誰可以這樣折衷
曾與你愛過卻匆匆 過去已有太多類同 誰在心中 怎猜得準
能跌進這晚愛光中 彷彿一切已經共同 仍是不敢祈求 熱戀多一分鐘
Repeat * #
要說永遠愛吧 卻怕仍然未相信 永未能看通
要說這晚算吧 卻覺愛己經失控 寧願再繼續抱擁 Oh...... 相擁...... 心痛......
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: <抱擁這分鐘 > by 陳奕迅 Eason Chan
|
|
|
| Thursday, February 5th, 2004
| |
10:16 pm - I don't understand......
|
Again, I haven't updated here for long..... Suddenly I have all this passion to write in English, so I write here.
I finally figure out how difficult it is to handle language well, language of every kind. The strength of language can be much much stronger than what we imagined. Besides, the effects which language brought about may be totally different from what we expected. Sometimes, what we intend to say may be just for fun, but the person who listened may perceive the message in a completely different way. We may say something which we don't think it matters, however, it may hurt or offend the one whom we are talking to. I'm one of the these victims......
I tried to be considerate, thinking that my U-mates were not serious about that, but I couldn't get out of the hard feelings... I was thinking that "am I too sensitive over the issue??", I hope I'm not over-reacted. After listening to what my U-mates said, I kept thinking about questions like "What is normality?" , "What is abnormality?" and "Who has the right to define them?", so on and so forth. I asked myself, if someone does things which are so-called "anti-social", for instance, not engaged oneself in social activities like participating in society work, living in hall etc, does that necessarily mean that he or she is "abnormal"??? I mean, just because he's not as devoted into those stupid "5-must-do things in university" as the other guys do, then he had to be considered as "abnormal" or "lazy"? This isn't fair!
Why do people always do before they think?? Why don't they use their brain to think a little bit????? I don't demand much, I just want them to think for a second before they speak out those offensive comments. Don't they realize that not everyone is "socially active"?? What's wrong to be an introvert? It's wrong because an introvert doesn't live in hall or join any society??? Then, who can tell me what makes it so "correct" to be an extrovert?? It's "correct" to be an extrovert just because he's socially active???? It's all F*cking bullsh!t to me!
I really dislike people making judgements and bad comments on others BEFORE they actually understand the whole story. Even though they do so for fun, I don't think it's forgivable. People should mind what they said and they should take the whole responsibility for their claims. I always believe that just don't do the things that you don't want people do to you, then the world would become much much more wonderful than the present situation.
It's like I'm releasing all the discontent and grievances I had today... that's enough... No matter what I said above, I think I would forgive my U-mates for what they said today. I mean, maybe it's just no big deal in others' perspective, I shouldn't be that anguished....
current mood: apathetic
current music: <小星星 > by 楊千嬅 Miriam Yeung
|
|
|
|
|
|
|