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Taylor

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[13 Jul 2005|04:07pm]
i miss this thing.
1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

hey babies. [10 May 2005|08:53pm]
[ music | shakira. ]

wasup hoe? i sounded so angry in that last entry. because i was. but i love venting on here. && if you don`t, then why read. i love summer bodies. i just have to say.. there`s nothing hotter than a toned tan. haha, yeah.

i have been talking to someone a lot lately, && i`m so confused. i don`t know if i`m going against everything i said, or if all that time i`d been saying it, i was confused then? does that make sense?? but.. i like talking to him so f` it. i love both guys. [ probably like no one knows what i`m talking about .. but idc. ] everything is just.. weird. i guess that`s a good word to describe it?

i`m probably doing cheerleading. veronica persuaded me. she`s really into it, && i think she wants me to be more excited but i`m just like .. alright. but i am a little excited i must confess. tahhaaaaa.

oh && i just might have a big surprise coming up. but i can`t talk about it. eeeeeek. big news. but only 1 little huligan knows && you`ll never find out unless it comes true. yeehaw.

anyways, so yeah i have a new spot. check it out. .. www.xanga.com/hypnotiqox

i`m out lovers. night. ♥

why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

wow. [07 May 2005|07:10pm]
you know what i hate? i hate when you think that things are finall sorted out; and everything is going to fucking work out. && just because your realtionship with some people had to change becuase of things you couldn`t control, you worked at MADE it work. because you lvoe those people. how you find out that people betrayed you.. && you accepted it and forgave them. even though it was one of the hardest things to overcome and accept. && after all of that bullshit. you find out that the whole they were lying and decieving you. it`s lik never ending bad news with them. seriously what the hell? well yeah so that`s what i hate. i`m out though. happy mothers day! make her feel special && loved. ♥
1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[05 May 2005|02:24pm]
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you

Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me


'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....


If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight
2 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[05 May 2005|12:11am]
[ music | trapped in the closest i think;not sure but i love this song ]

ahh i &hearts the f`ing city baby.

blah.

♥♥♥♥♥

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

i`m blue da dum dee dum dam dai [29 Apr 2005|03:45pm]
[ music | how could you.. mario ♥ ]

well hello, i just got home from school.. & i`m itching a lot? it`s strange. i don`t know what the f`s wrong with me.. oh wells. i have to sweep the whole f`n cRib, and than i`m going oUt. ahh, yes.. it`s much needed. i need to f`ing get down & party. actually i don`t even know what exactly we`re doing tonight. just that i`m doing something. today, our scheLduLe was soo f`ed up. like always? they always switch it up & stuff.. and than i had florida pics in my puRse and this joe kid found `em and saw a picture he shouldn`t have. oOps. i`m trying to obtain my rep here. hah, but who knOws. it`s been like a month since i`ve draNk.. haha that is gOod! yesterday we had a thing for drunk drivers where someone was pulled out of class every 15 minutes becuase someone dies every 15 minutes because of a drunk driver, and than we had this ceremony shit at the end, and it was soo sweet. caitlin told this story that was soo sad. i was like the only one who cried? i felt dumb, but all i could think about was amber amber amber. [ r.i.p ] & than i thought about my aunt, i`ve been crying so damn much lately, and i`m sick of it. fuck crying. i have no more reasons to cry. everything is in the past, and over with. yesterday was like the worst day ever, i`m not even going there, but if you read the last entry you`ll see some of it. ugh, whatever.. but tara comforted me when i needed it most. i love her to death. i wish we would have hung more back in the day.. i don`t even know why we didn`t. caught up maybe? everything`s so fucked up, but i know everything`s going to be okay! seriously.. i seriously have so much faith and i don`t know why the fuck i do.

i love mere`s mom`s f`ing car! it`s a redish escalade! today for lunch we all rode deep in it and went to this pizza shit kinda like stevi-b`s.. it made me think of drake & brooke! yay! and we went in the arcade & i beat scott`s ass in all of the car games.. and i just had so much fun.. haha it was cUte. i love open-campus lunch. it`s the best. but i do miss fayette & franklin`s lunch. i`m serious, i`m going to blend them all together. haha i wish. but anyways.. i hope i`m not forgetting anything? who knows. but i`m out. hollar.

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[28 Apr 2005|04:10pm]
[ mood | like shaking with anger? ]

your my friend? i dont get it. how many days did you spend with me & him? how many conversations did you have with me about him? how many times did you hang out with me & him? how many times did you see me & him together? how many times did you hear me talk about how much i loved him or how many times i missed him? how many times? how many times did you watch us be together after i had to move? after i moved again.. and you knowing how much it killed me to be away from you guys.. the people i cared about most & would do anything for? what the fuck is wrong with you? why do you do this to your friends? can`t you get your own guy?

now how many times did you think about that after you & him did whatever?

whatever, i`m gonna be fine. fuck this. fuck both of you.

why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[21 Apr 2005|08:59pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Broadway is dark tonight
A little bit weaker than you used to be
Broadway is dark tonight
See the young man sitting
In the old man's bar
Waiting for his turn to die

The cowboy kills the rock star
And Friday night's gone too far
The dim light hides the years
On all the faded girls

Forgotten but not gone
You drink it off your mind
You talk about the world
Like it's someplace that you've been

You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
And you're livin' in a world
That you're best forgotten around here

Chorus

You choke down all your anger
Forget your only son
You pray to statues when you sober up for fun
Your anger don't impress me
The world slapped in your face
It always rains like hell on the losers day parade

You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're livin' in a world that you're best forgotten
And when you're thinkin' of a joke
And nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point
I know they been missin' round here

Chorus

You see you'd love to run home
But you know you ain't got one
'Cause you're livin' in a world
That you're best forgotten
And if you're thinkin' of a joke
Do you think that they'll listen
To the one small point
I know they been missin' round here

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[21 Apr 2005|08:53pm]
ugh, why don`t i just stop doing this to myself? it`s pointless.
why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

i still wake up & go to bed thinking of him.♥ [19 Apr 2005|09:36pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | one tree hiLL; i`m missing it.. eee. ]

so today i actually tried to make friends.. and didn`t just shoot everyone down who talked to me.. and i actually felt like myself again.. i was actually the regular old jumpy bubbly taylor that i hadn`t seen in so long. 9th grade is almost over! i know most of y`all are like damn. but for all of my other fresmans.. we made it! even though my shit`s ALL fucked up. i don`t give a fuckk shawtie i don`t give a fuck hO. everyone at this school is either REALLY good or reallllllllly bad.. so i`m trying a little of both crowds. but staying safe. haha =) but anywho, yesterday i talked to this lady about my dadda, and i am starting to have a agent lady who i can report to at any time about my dad, and tlak to her about him, and just pretty much look out for me, so that`s good, to know that i have someone to lean on or talk to when i don`t think i can do this anymore.

i really miss everyone. i really truly do. i DO feel like i abandoned everyone, but what they don`t know is i had no choice. i don`t like looking in the future & seeing me lose touch of all of my friends. i don`t want that, i need them. i don`t care if i don`t get to talk to them for months.. i will always keep in touch. that`s all i need to make my life worth living. actually the only thing that gets me by with each day.. *complain time.. you ready?? - i hate the fucking construction thing across the street, i hate how i get lost in the fucking school, and there`s 4 flights of stairs. i hate how i miss aaron. i hate the p.e. class but i love taking pictures witht this kid`s fone all day. ♥ i hate the office paint work.. i hate the way i sleep in english & she always slaps my desk. i hate the way no one knows me & i don`t know how to sum myself up in 3 minutes. i hate the way everyone asked me why i moved 234736473643274364 times a day. i hate the way i continuly keep pictures in my purse & find myself taking them out and wiping my eyes 274374 times a day. i hate the way it smells here. AND i hate the water. i hate teh way everyone`s trashy & LAME. i hate the way i don`t know where partys are & it seems like the only ones that are up here, is ones i`ll get raped at. i hate the way i`m always finding myself being "the new girl" and i hate the way i can never let go of anything or anyone.

-and i hate my dad`s choices. not him. yes, it took me two days of being yelled out to be able to say that.

okay something either really weird or just really sad was today.. i saw a bob marley poster & a french maid outfit.. it reminded me so much of amber brock & aaron. when we were all at the mall & brock wanted to buy a bob marley poster & me n amber were like making fun of him.. and when me n amber went in the duRrTy store & looked at all the hott costumes.. i miss her soo much.. i can`t beileve what it must be like for aaron.. i love him so much. STILL. & i`m still praying for brock.. and whoever`s reading this.. should too.

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

♥you were the one thing in my life that seemed real♥ [17 Apr 2005|11:55am]
i think the only reason why people hold on to memories [so tight] is cuz memories are the only thing that doesn`t change when everything else does.
1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

whatever [17 Apr 2005|10:58am]
[ mood | not happyy ]
[ music | little bit; 50 cent. ]

fuck you.

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

wOw. [12 Apr 2005|11:04pm]
[ mood | positive ]
[ music | don`t stop dancing. creed ]

it`s amazing how talking to him after all of this really makes me realize how much i love him. yes, it`s impossible for us to be together right now.. but obviously that`s the way it`s meant to be? it doesn`t make sense, but something`s telling me to just go with it. no matter what happens.. with him, or with me up here, i know that it`s supposed to be like that. and i won`t be bitter. nOpe.

new school tomorrow.. i havn`t even took a shower, or decided what i`m gonna wear. i usually do that for new schools, well, not this time! fuck it. i talked to brooke today! oh how i`ve missed her. she makes me laugh. ugh, i miss it.

anyways.. aaron scared me tonight. i need to check on some things.. but i have to wait. uhh.. not cool. i`m able to talk to my dad without yelling now. big step for me.. more than you know. today at kfc, i was happy, and i wasn`t gonna let his prescense effect the first time i`ve been happy in a week. f` that. i`ve missed it. but i`m out. have a good one!

why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[09 Apr 2005|11:41am]
trghghgfjgfj
1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

it`s like that y`all. [04 Apr 2005|06:03pm]
[ mood | happy! ]
[ music | mario.. how could you ]

well hello. i just got back from babysitting. his name is Ty. he`s so cute. he says i`m his girrrrrrl. lol, he`s 8. too bad i already got a man. ;) last night i got home around 2` and said wassup to austin and i passed out. slept like a fucking BABY. florida was soo needed. i miss it so much. i had so much fun. ;) we picked sedef up on saturday and i saw aaron and we went and got a bunch of shit at the pavilion and were finally on our way.. stayed at hotel that night in ga.. met some kewl people there.. stayed in clearwater [ it took so long to finally find the fucking place ] for 4 nights.. met some cool folks there too! .. and in panama for 3. i had so much fun in both places. and i had soo much fun in pc. aaron got there friday night. i fucking ♥ him. and i hope what we have never changes. it sucks cuz there are so many temptations, and there`s so many hardships that come with a long distance relationship. but i beileve if you really love eachother, you can make it work. and i really do love aaron. ♥ it`s crazy, because it`s so early, but i feel how i feel. and untill there`s a reason for me to stop loving him, i`ll always love him. i don`t givva shit what anyone has to say about it. they aren`t there when it`s just me & him. it`s the most amazing most charished feeling i`ve ever felt. but anyways.. i`m gonna finish this up cuz i gottsta go. hehe, but hope everyone everywhere had or is having a wonderful spring break!!!!!! i know i did.. but it`s back to school for me. i`m already excited for the wknd. =) casey got a new toyota tundra. lucky bitch. i ♥ it though.

why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

log cabins `n jeeps. ♥ [20 Mar 2005|12:25am]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | people talking. ]

hiiiya. havn`t been keepin` it real at this site. been more on myspace. haha.. tonight i swear i saw more log cabins than i`ve ever seen cuz we went exploring.. haha more like got LOST.. in some neighborhood that was made out of log cabins.. haha they were really pretty for like 10 minutes.. than they jsut got old. lol, and i kept saying that every house had jeeps, and they jsut kept telling me that it was jsut cuz` we passed the SAME house.. ahaha, i finally understood. i was kinda intoxicated at the moment. i came home around 10:30 cuz my granama`s sisters here, and she wanted me to meet her, but instead i`m online. i never have time to get on anymore, so i`m on now. =) well i`m out. love you ♥

why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

i gave in.. [17 Mar 2005|03:34am]
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=4326081&Mytoken=20050316122924

check out my shiiiit . . ♥
why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[17 Mar 2005|03:26am]
spring break is in 8 days baby! =)

i ♥ my aaron.
why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

[11 Mar 2005|03:46pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

i`m in fayetteville.. last night me and sedef went to aaron`s and came home and slept. today`s the viewing. please pray for the waldrop`s. they didn`t deserve this. r.i.p. amber waldrop. you`ll be forever missed babygirl.

1 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

no time! [04 Mar 2005|12:01pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | 1980 somethin country song.. stuck in my head ]

wow.. things have definately been different lately.. the biggest difference of course is my enviorement. but i really am starting to like it here. but it will never be home sweet home. that part of my heart is already reserved. if you didn`t already hear amber waldrop is in the hospital and it`s like the main thing on my mind all of the time. she is one of the most down to earth coolest people ever.. and i hope that you will keep her in your prayers.. that monday night when aaron called me was the most shocking saddest ever. we love you amber. i need to see aaron. i need to be there for him.. and it breaks my heart not to be. but i`m gonna try my hardest to be there in person.. and not on the phone. i love him. please pray for him too. <3

on a more positive note.. spring break `05 will be the fucking best ever faSHO. hah, soo excited! yayuhh

but i`m out. 10 minutes late for class! what shall i say!?

shoutouts to you sedef! love you baba

2 why doN`t yOu do sOmething.

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