quiEtLy lOsing cOntrOL's Blurty

Subject:	i want a boyfriend...or a prom date.
Time:	11:02 pm.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

wow. i would love a reason to change who i am. not really. i dont want a change. i just want a reason to be happy. yes, you should never depend on anyone else to make you happy. but you see, i've gone so long without making myself happy, i might as well try a different approach.

it makes me so sad. i must be terribly ugly and fat and unapproachable.

this whole prom ordeal is bugging and bumming me out. first off, i dont have a date. or a guy in mind to ask. i dont want to go alone, and if i have to go alone, i'm not going to go. that sucks. but i really dont want to be the loser who goes alone AGAiN. second, if all my friends are going with different people, we wont all be chilling together for the weekend, so really, what is the point of going? i'd rather smoke myself silly and whine and complain over how bad my life sucks.

will someone please take me to my prom??? ill pay for everything. lol. i just need someone for the picture part. and the cliche after prom sex, but seeing as the whole date thing is turning out to be impossible, the sex thing will be 987 times harder to do.

i dont have a dress. i dont really want one yet. im so torn.

rumor has it our prom song is WHO LET THE DOGS OUT. that makes me really really not want to go at all.

someone is having a *party* after down the shore, but only the trackstars are invited and there will be no bad things going on there. not that i mind, i just dont htink im invited anyway. oh well.

im going to the library before i go. ha.

if i go.

fuck me.

fuck being ugly. I HAVE BOOBS! someone take my BOOBs to the prom!

xx

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