so for the past couple of hours months, ive been dwelling on the past. ive decided i need to get over all of that nonsense. nothing can just fall back into the way it used to be. which hurts and sucks, but life is all about hurting and sucking. i figured, i'm on my way to being a new person. i got my hair cut and dyed. i'm a whole new me. not. i wish i could just turn around, go balls out, and be fucking crazy and just party up and live it up. i've got 5ish months left in this joint and its high time to make memories. memories that will be sooo wonderful, i'll carry them with me to next year, so i won't be as sad to say goodbye to all that's here.
i hate change. and next year involves a whole fucking lot of it. i'm going to be living over an hour away from home. ah. scary thought. no friends nearby. no car (unless i can work something out...). its gonna suck and im probably going to cry a lot. but i need to get through it to show i am an awesome person and i can kick ass when i want.
why am i so damn positive all of the sudden?
xx
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hopeful.