quiEtLy lOsing cOntrOL's Blurty

Subject:	oh why can't i be what you need...
Time:	9:44 pm.
Mood:	crushed.
Music:	taking back sunday :: you know how i do.

i want to delete my memory. i want to delete everyone from my life. that sounds so mean. but i don't really think i'm going to make it through next year. i am going to be so alone. yaay. except not. i want to start losing my friends now. operation:push people away starts right now. it's a pussy's way out. but it's the only way out for me.

i hate change motherfucker. i hate it. *screams* i'm such a LOSER. i'm just like the people who irk me. i'm whiney, needy, lonely and jealous. i'm so fucking ahhhh. i make myself so angry.

die bitch die.

i texted mike again. i suck. he texted me back though. we may be going to nyc to go to jeckly and hydes in a couple of weeks. yeah right. let me hold my breath. *turns blue*

this entry is all about me. and how much i hate myself. yaay for postive-ness. this is why i have NO FRIENDS. :)

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Subject:	i am a bitch and 1/5
Time:	11:13 pm.

me: i dont want you to feel you have to bring me along! its okayyy!! katie and i may go to like fame or mcdonalds. ha. i dont hate youuu!
jimmy: I WANT U TO COME
jimmy: im not bringing u along
jimmy: i dont want u to feel that i dont want u coming!
jimmy: im not bringing u along
me: lol

no, my dear boy. you are not bringing me along. the only thing that is going on here is i am bringing you down. and its time for me to let go and give up. because the longer i hold on, the more i get attached, and the harder its going to be for me come august. i suck, i know. and this is going to probably just fuck up everything that is good in my life, which isn't much.

jimmy: kelly, u r my bestest friend
jimmy: y wuldnt i want u to come?
me: i dunnnnnnooooo

cuz i am a psycho who makes things into bigger problems than what they should be.

ahhhhhh.

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