Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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11:30 pm
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oooh this is scary.... what the hell is up with most of the people in this country? gah! 4 more years is just too damn much
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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12:01 am
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i've neglected my poor dear blurty so. bad me, bad.
well hmm...where to start.... i've stopped fooling around with A. for the time being and i'm dating a new girl here. i'm not sure we're quite suited for eachother but it's nice for now. she brought me some flowers at work today and that was really sweet.
living with my sister's bf is turning out to be not so fun. he can be such an asshole sometimes. i love living with my little sister though. she's a great housemate. she communicates, cleans up after herself, is logical, and is straight up awesome.
the weather has been cooling off, thankfully. 70s and 80s are sooooo much less hellish than 100s. i can't wait to get further into fall and then winter. yum. i also can't wait until i get to carve a pumpkin. just a few weeks, yay. mmmmm....pumpkin pie and hot chocolate or maybe even chai ~*~*~
current mood:  peaceful
current music: the cure- never
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(comment on this)
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Friday, August 13th, 2004
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5:22 pm
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what the fuck is wrong with me? why do i continue to interact with someone who causes me pain or annoyance just for the hell of it? it's a never ending cycle and for some idiotic reason i only expect it 50% of the time it happens. i'm frustrated with myself even more than i am with her. gah!
current mood:  aggravated
current music: heart
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, July 19th, 2004
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6:15 pm
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sooooo my weekend was great until it came to coming home. i was supposed to take a bus to hanford and after a 30 minute layover board a train bound for fresno where i'd be picked up and wooshed away to my home. the bus to hanford was fine. the 30 minute layover in hanford's stuffy overcrowded train station turned into 60 minutes and then 90 minutes. i finally got on my train which seated only 240 people when there were 253 passengers. there was luggage and people clogging the aisles EVERYWHERE. by the time i found a seat i didn't care about anything besides being alone in my room curled up in the fetal position. oh, and food, i wanted food. crackers can only do so much. i was so relieved when the train finally pulled into fresno. i jumped out, looked around, and realized i was in the fucking sketchiest train/bus station i've ever been to(and that's saying a lot). so i looked around some more and saw that my ride was nowhere to be found...and wasn't for another 45 minutes. turns out my dear roommate got lost and had to be led to the station by a police escort because the place was so well tucked away(and dark, and dirty, and sketchy). unfortunately i have to do this again next week. i really hope my train is on time and steven can find the station again cuz that place is seriously not somewhere i'd like to be stuck alone ever again.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, July 16th, 2004
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11:27 pm
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i'm going away for the weekend. fun fun fun. i expect lots of uno and fun teasing. i hope they can behave themselves and there isn't any d-r-a-m-a. i hate when i'm put in the middle of that shit
unrelated note: even though i love them some people are way too high maintenance for me to deal with on a regular basis. grumble cakes.
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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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5:07 pm
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the march was fun. texas was awesome and surprising. in a place called muleshoe where people play horse shoes(errr..mule shoes) infront of grocery stores what could go wrong? i wish had a picture of that.
i've been meaning to majorly update but i just haven't felt like it. i'm not even sure where to start or what i should put in writing.
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i can't help but worry about whether i'm doing what's really best for me. so far it's fun but what about long term? what i chose will either turn out to be play or a death march. i only hope for no regrets
current mood:  lethargic
current music: the cranberries- promises
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, June 24th, 2004
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12:43 am
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| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 56.7%
Explored the pleasures of the flesh | 65.1% | | Shamelessness | 92.9%
Has yet to see self in mirror | 79.4% | | Sex Drive | 78.9%
The Pope is envious | 77.7% | | Straightness | 60.7%
Felt someone up once | 44.8% | | Gayness | 21.4%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame | 83.6% |
| Fucking Sick | 87.6%
Refreshingly normal | 90% |
You are 65.22% pure
Average Score: 72.7%
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the sex drive questions were completely flawed. just because i'm honest with people and don't drug them to fuck me does not mean my libido isn't healthy, it means i am a decent human being.
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(comment on this)
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12:08 am
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so i'm all settled in now. i like it here. it's calm and smooth living. now i just need friends and the temperature to come down 10 or 20 degrees(mid- to upper 90's isn't much fun). july should be even more fun. can't wait to hit 110. i'm going to bake:(
my husband is coming to visit me tomorrow. yaywoo. we're gonna tear this town apart! then i'm going back to SJ for a tiny visit with my girls. ooh, and i get to go to the dyke march!!! i'm so happy about that. my sister is coming down from portland for it too so it should be even better. other approaching plans include going to texas with angie(A) which i really really hope i won't end up regretting. i never know what to expect with that girl. could be lots of fun or lots of frustration and bullshit. here's hoping...
there are a few things bugging me and i could rant for a while but i won't. all i will say is: the end means THE END. rinse repeat. hisssss. the end.
current mood:  restless
current music: azure ray- beautiful things can come from the dark
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(comment on this)
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Friday, June 11th, 2004
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12:31 pm - bullet please.
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joan jett(!) is playing the san jose pride festival this year. the festival is on sunday. i'm moving to fresno on saturday. boo-hissssss....grumble...i'll probably have to miss the dyke march this year too. i'm quite upset.
also, my mother and sister are making this moving thing way more more difficult and stressful than it needs to be. i'm already starting to get a little homesick and i haven't even moved yet. i'm going to miss my people(soooo much), walks at night to the park, the library, some of the local crazies, close yummy cheap vegetarian/vegan food, victorian houses, and lots more even the 7-11 across the street. meep.
now i shall pack up this lil' puter o' mine.
current mood: aggravated
current music: all girl summer fun band- video game heart
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
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5:22 pm - mwuhahahaha
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I AM 65% EVIL GENIUS!  Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings. |
I AM 64% TORTURED ARTIST!  Art is significant in my life, people are scum but I have the capicity to deal with it. Give it a few more years and I will either forget about art or hate the world. |
there seems to be a theme here....
current mood:  bored
current music: the cure
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
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6:23 pm
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my computer is back up and in fine form. sometimes i wanna hug it when i think about having to use my roommates mean puter.
the weekend looking for a house in fresno turned into almost 2 weeks going back and forth between fresno and my mom's house. ugh. not fun. not that i had a terrible time just that i really missed my own bed, ms. rattykins, and i had a lot of stuff i needed to do here. it ended up taking so long because my sister's bf's friend was causing some problems with finding a house we all liked so he won't be living with us anymore. yay. after he was out of the picture we found an extremely cute house with awesome landlords. they called us back last week after doing a credit check and such to tell us we got the place. we signed the lease and moved a bunch of our stuff in on saturday. the house is older and really clean. it's been taken such good care of over the years that it still has most of it's original carpeting in and it's NICE. my room is big and it has awesome avocado green shag(ish) carpeting. i'm in love with it. i'm back in sj now but maybe once i move the rest of my stuff in and get settled i'll take some pictures and post them in a month or so.
i took the baby rat back to the pet store today. she just wasn't getting any tamer. she never once let me hold her. sarah hated her. she got very aggressive and territorial when i introduced them. it looked like she was going to eat her. it was bad, worse than when i brought enid home for the first time. so i think i'm giving up on finding another suitable partner for my sarah. she's too old and temperamental i guess. enid was her one and only.
i've been busy hanging out with people i haven't seen in a while before i go and trying to pack the rest of my stuff. infact i'm just about to call my platonic husband so we can frolic somewhere.
also,
| taketothesky is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested. | N
POISON |
From Go-Quiz.com
current mood: lazy
current music: tori amos- gold dust
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, May 13th, 2004
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6:30 pm - pictures!
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6:07 pm
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i'm a bad neglectful online journal person. ah vell. part of the reason is that my computer got eaten by viruses and my roommate's puter is a problematic pain in the ass. the other part is that i'm lazy.
visiting my family was great. my hometown is finally a place of comfort instead of dread for me. it took almost 4 years but at least it finally happened. i even got some extra closure and unsolicited apologies from the person who broke me. i no longer needed it but it was still really nice and sweet.
at the end of june i'm moving in with my lil' sister, her bf, and his friend. i'm going with them this weekend to find a house. i'm nervous and scared but i need some change. it's two hours away too so i'll be forced to meet new people. eek...
sarah twitch is completely healthy again, yay! it was a really good idea to take her home with me. she loved it and i think it helped her get better faster. i got a white and grey hooded dumbo rat last friday. she still won't let me touch her for more than two seconds let alone hold her. hopefully she'll calm down soon. i'm not too worried though cuz she's only a baby. she doesn't have a name yet but i think Batty might be part of it just because she's kinda insane and half-blind.
current mood: relaxed
current music: radiohead- sulk
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(comment on this)
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Friday, April 16th, 2004
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7:40 pm
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i just got back from an early date. it was ok. we played mini golf and we both kinda sucked it was funny. she seems like a nice girl and i think we'll probably go out again. i'm going to visit my family in a couple days and i'm bringing my rat so i can give her her medicine. should be an interesting 4 hour car trip.
You are a Creative Assertive: Creatives seem to
manifest only as Creative Assertives. They
often display heightened sensitivity and
perceptual ability. They're absorbed in their
work, reflective, self-sufficient, sometimes
volatile, and visionary; they question life and
themselves. They're designers, artists,
novelists, dancers, and musicians.
What is your Natural Life Energy?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood: relaxed
current music: x-ray spex -oh bondage up yours
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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11:27 pm
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i threw the ball. now the question is: are you going to catch it and throw it back?
current mood: relaxed
current music: au pairs- come again
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Monday, April 12th, 2004
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1:41 am
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i feel much better. i was able to go to the doctor and get some antibiotics. yay for functioning! my birthday was mostly nice. i went out to lunch. t'was yummy. i went bowling with friends and k's family(they came down to visit for easter). that was really fun and i ran into a girl i was good friends with a few years ago when i lived in the dorms. she's still as awesome and funny as ever. i miss that kid. the thing that made it not completely nice was this undercurrent of ridiculous bullshit. if i have a problem with someone i voice it, this other person should too especially because of what we supposedly are to eachother. silence will not fix anything. it only makes us both resent eachother more and more the longer it goes on. this has been building up for a little over two years now. we are choking. if you won't speak openly then i can't and the choking will be to death. i'm tired of chasing my tail and i'm finally not afraid to stop.
current mood: calm
current music: azure ray- rise
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
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9:12 pm
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i'm really bored and sick and i'm going crazy and i just wanna do the dishes and clean my room and i can't because when i get up i feel weak and gross and even sitting up takes too much energy and i can't even sleep. yuck. i like "and" right now and and and zebrasquirrel.
current mood:  sick
current music: commercials inbetween law and order
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 5th, 2004
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6:45 pm
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wrapped in morning
tangled in sheets
drenched in thoughts of you
if i wrote you down on paper
would you stay?
sleepless night behind us
blury day ahead
you're slipping through my fingers
the rest will be taken by time
can't i keep one drop tied tight
around my neck?
current mood: thirsty
current music: 12 rounds- something's burning
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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5:00 pm
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enid's surgery was today. the vet found out that the cancer had spread to her abdomen and there was nothing he could do. he called me this afternoon to tell me and get permission to put her to sleep while she was still under anesthesia. i'm crushed. i was so sure she was going to be fine after the vet visit on tuesday.
current mood: sad
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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6:52 pm - woosh
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i took mah baby enid to the vet today to get her massive crazy tumor checked out finally. they took x-rays and determined that the cancer hasn't spread and that the tumor can be removed fairly safely. her surgery is scheduled for thursday morning. i'm totally happy. she's an expensive lil' girl, she is. i called my mom a couple days ago freakin' out and asked her if i could take my rat to the vet as my b-day present because i can't afford it. she said yes and thinks i'm crazy but whatever we all know that already. miss sarah rattykins is as healthy and lovely as ever. she's curled up sleeping in a cute chubby lil' ball right now.
i'm going out tonight. yay. hopefully i'll have a good time and random assholes don't harass me or mah girls.
i saw eternal sunshineblahblahblah this last weekend with c. i really like how it addresses relationships and their breakdown. how people end up fucking hating eachother for stupid reasons and messed up communication. it's a damn good movie especially for having jim carrey in it. he actually managed not to make me wanna kill him. he normally bugs the hell out of me. jim stick with these type of roles, please? leave comedy far far behind, never look back and everything will be ok.
also, i really want tacos for dinner. i have no taco makings :(
current mood:  silly
current music: sonic youth
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