Sheridan Dillard's Blurty|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Sheridan Dillard's Blurty:
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|Thursday, May 8th, 2003|
I want nothing more than for her to be happy. I dont want these emotions in my head. I mean sure I Love her, but knowing that I will never have her... it hurts. The freedom to die of cureable disease, or to buy something you could never afford, its not fair.... I dont want to live like this. When she looks at me, I get lost in her eyes, though I always look away...
|Wednesday, May 7th, 2003|
Not alot has been happaning this week.
Have you ever wanted somebody? So bad that you would do anything? Not like a physical want, just like it brightens up your day to talk to that specific person...? Or just being around them makes you feel warm... I'm at that point. I want nothing more than for her to be happy...
|Sunday, May 4th, 2003|
I just hung around the house today, I was gonna go paintballing, but didnt. Uh at like 7:00 I started my homework, and then at 8 ish I got it done.
Today I realized that I care for someone who I thought I didnt.
Not much happend this weekend. My mom said Wyatt could stay the night. God I hate him.... I wonder if he ever takes a fucking shower. So, she ruined my Friday, and most of my Saturday. So, earlier today, err yesterday ( Saturday ) I went to play mini golf, we played like 1 round, basically we just skipped through it, then we each went through like 20 bucks on video games. Then we called his Mom, his Dad came and picked us up. So then I went home, and then I went for a walk to the Dikes or whatever it is. The river was a cool color, lol but thats lame. Then I came back home, and just got on computer and listend to music, etc.
Current Mood: confused
|Thursday, May 1st, 2003|
Nothin really happend today either :| My friend Ana came over real early :| lol .... So I just got up, told her to wait lol, took a shower, went to school, came home, I didnt have anyone over today, I'm not feeling myself.
And Torin, stfu, my name is Sheridan Dillard. Your future ruler. Dont hurry your death apon you.
|Wednesday, April 30th, 2003|
Ah, well not much happend today, I got stacked with homework :P Theres been "this girl" on my mind alot, I dont like her, but shes always on my mind, wheather its negative or posative..... Some say its love, but I dont think so, I mean her very existence seems to annoy me..... but I dont know. All of these imperfect human emotions cloud my head.
|Tuesday, April 29th, 2003|
Havnt made a journal in a while, so much has been happening, I'll make a real one tomorrow.
|Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003|
Hmm, not much happend to day, no real thoughts went on in my head. ( Except one, but its a little unappropriate to share here.... ) ( JK ) Well, actually I was wishing I could blink my eyes, and every single person around me would drop dead, in sheer and utter pain.
|Monday, April 21st, 2003|
Skylor woke up late, my mom is at work all day :):), umm yeah. Oh and today I came to realize that the person I didnt Love, I actually now do Love her more, Wtf? how does that work out
I wish I could just like run away or something, I wonder if in my world things would be this hectic, yes my wolrd would be no pain,harm, or discomfort, but if that were true, say for example, someone I dont like, would be dead, or not welcome to my world, for those who are welcome, they may want that person there, so it would be discomforting or hurtful to them... ???
Current Mood: confused
|Sunday, April 20th, 2003|
The last couple days I've been up in Spokane, visiting my family, umm as usual it was pretty boring, and my Mom once again lied constantly etc. Then today I came home, and Skylor came over, and is spending the night, hes asleep on the chair. That lamer! >_< Damn why cant I get some friends that can stay up past 11? :'(
Also, I came to realize today that the person I "Loved" I didn't actually Love, heh, I see it now that I feel in love with her when I first new her, I even once admired her, but not now.
|Thursday, April 17th, 2003|
Today was mostly smooth, out of no where I told someone I very much care for that I hated their guts.... I wanted to almost cry, heh I didnt even mean to say it. The whole day even before I said it, even before today I've been in denial trying to think of things that make her bad, disgusting, wrong, anything I could think of, but nothing came to mind, I mean, she doesnt even resemble me in any way, its very strange. But in the end, I still come back to the thing I started with, that I like her. Heh, strange how that works out. All those very human emotions cloud my head, so weak, its sad. Wheather or not you know who you are (Which you probably do by now ) I'm sorry for saying I hate you, I anything but hate you, I cant even describe in words what I feel for you....
I'm not myself today. That is not me. I've never felt this way before.
|Wednesday, April 16th, 2003|
Nothing good happend today.
|Tuesday, April 15th, 2003|
Ah, I didnt really feel good today, I had a headache all day, and was just generally tired. :S Hmm, I got math homework, today in Math we took an ISAT test, it seemed kinda easy, I mean I think I did good anyway.
|Monday, April 14th, 2003|
Hmm, not has been happening, I have been really tired lately, I dont know why. Today was lame as ever, same ol same ol, we go new seats in Social Studies, and I got put by Marika, christ I sit by her in like practically all of my other classes as well, its very gay. ( Lol for the fact that maybe someday she might read this, I wont put why. Dont get me wrong Marika, your a good person, lol its just I dont like sitting by you ( Personal reasons ) )
I couldnt focus all day, I kept thinking about something, I barley heard what was being said. Except in I.U. then I loosend up. I came home, got on the computer,and saw something that reminded me of someone I once new and cried ( Yeah yeah, puss, wuss, queer, I've heard it ) ( It was like boo hoo cry for the record, I just got tears in my eyes... ) now I'm starting my homework.
|Saturday, April 12th, 2003|
Nothing much is happened. My friend is coming over today about 6:00 so pretty soon. Umm, thats about it haha, my life is lame. I'm odly tired today.
|Wednesday, April 9th, 2003|
AH, havnt made an entry lately,, nothing really good has happend, or exciting, same ol same ol, life isnt worth living and everyday I realize it haha, nothin else to say.
|Monday, April 7th, 2003|
AH... First day back to hell, and away from heaven. I woke up at 7:00 after taking lots of nyquil last night, then I hoped in the shower, got dressed, watched some T.V., checked my email, and went to school at 8:00, it was generally a boring day for the most part, same ol same ol, nothing new, nothing fun. Then I came home, and my friend A.J. came over and we played The Thing on xbox, then I went to an eye docter thing and had my eyes checked again, and then Blaine called and asked me if I wanted to go to his house, so I did and then at 8:00 my mom called and said I had to come home, so now I'm just g33kin out on the computer.
|Sunday, April 6th, 2003|
Today, I just kicked back, and generally played on the computer all day. That was about it.
|Saturday, April 5th, 2003|
Hm, today, my Grandma said that we would be leaving early " " so we ended up getting outa there about 12:30 which was lame, I came to realize that I dont like my Uncle, LoL. sounds lame, but its true. Umm, I got home like at 3:30 and uhh ate some speghetti, uh and I got invited to a party, but I dunno if I'm gonna go... Heh, today was just a bad day.
|Friday, April 4th, 2003|
Ah.... Well, today I spent the night at my friend Samantha's house, at aobut 10:30 I came home, and thought ,THOUGHT I would be going home today, but since my Grandma doesnt have to pick up my little cuz'z 'till Sunday, she said that "I'm not in a big hurry to get down there." Sooo... that pissed me off..... So then I just went into my room here and layed down to cool off. Then I got up, and my uncle girlfriend was gettin ready to go to work, then she did hah. Oh, and before I took a nap etc, we went to Green Bay.. Its one of the coolest places ever. A good place to sit down and think, it has a "beautiful" view also. :) Umm. then after she went to town, to go to work, we went into town and ate dinner at the bar she works at ( Slates ) umm I had a French Dip sandwich. Then we went to Walmart, and I messed with people in the store, I picked up the pager phone thing and said "Now paging Mr. Cravin Morehead, and Mr. Haywood Jablowme to the front desk." And ran off. Umm, and I also bought a game... The Thing for xbox, its a pretty good game on computer, so I'm hoping it will be as good on xbox.... Then I'm here now writing this.