ohh FUUUUUCCCCCC.....   
12:34am 13/02/2004
mood: groggy
music: Whiny bizzotchy stupid prats on elemidate
I didnt use the k, alrihgt?

IM sitting here watching elemidate
its horrible of course

well i just told hugh that nothing is going to happen between us, poopoopphajahf eubgkn akjf DAMN
on to the next one i say...maybe i'll dream of _____
fill in the blank
good night
The rare breed   
11:24pm 12/02/2004
mood: discontent
music: If i told you this was killing me, woud you stop?
Tahhh 1 8 8: im bored

Tahhh 1 8 8: no one is talking to me

Tahhh 1 8 8: and huhg hasnt even considerd IMing me

Tahhh 1 8 8: No surprise to me though

Tahhh 1 8 8: i cant believe i dont care though

Tahhh 1 8 8: actually i CAN believe that i dont care. im just taht kinda girl. I guess there will never be anything, ever. but its ok because ive found a new breed. like you know when palientoligists go to the jungle, or where ever those people go, and find a new breed of jamacain killer flying whooping ants. Then they have to like captuer them and bring them to america, which in turn get out and cause pandamonium, but ANYWAYS. its like once you find something you'll always be on the look out to not only find something equally intriguing, but MORE intriguing.

Tahhh 1 8 8: hes set the bar, he is an ant among fleas.
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well i am at my make out buddies house   
07:53pm 12/02/2004
mood: giggly
music: TROGDORRRRR- The Burniator
today has been a goot day. now kat is being my arbitraitor. or something like that. i couldn't remember what its called. and i am sitting here while she talks to 50 AKA 4 people online. joy. anyways we are gonna go play trolla la la la and blah blah blah you know how it is.

love you
Kat: so tatia how do you want to die   
03:02pm 12/02/2004
mood: amused
music: until the da i die
PeanutPreppy: after my millions of adoring fans read my new book "how to shop, learn a language, and do the dishes, WHILE having sex". I think i would like to be involved in a very heavy relationship. but my boyfriend would be like a drug smuggler and then one day when we were on vacation he would be in the study making some deal on the speaker phone and thats how i would find out. then i could blackmail him for all he's worth, eventually exposing him tothe world. With my new placemet in the wittness protecion program, and the new ailas being desiree vonshmaltz, i could continue beingthe geinus that i've alwaysbeen. 15 years later when im vacationing on a yacht in tahiti, my crazed psyco boyfriend sloan escapes from jail. swims out to my yacht (which mind you is in the ocean), tells me he did this all for me, and that he cannot live with out me...

PeanutPreppy: I of course freak out and call for my extreamly huge hungarian body guard to save me

PeanutPreppy: sadly enough hans has had one to many drinks and shoots me in the head instead of my insanly crazed boyfriend

EffadoguE: oh wow you win

i always do.
im so happy, oh so happy....   
01:37pm 03/02/2004
mood: chipper
music: dont worry be happy
Today was an intresting day. i woke up at six to do splendid english homework, took a shower first thing and even ate breakfast. hmmm breakfast. Well perhaps im in such an amazing mood since i only got about 5 hours of sleep, gee MAYBE. My life isnt toooooo bad right now. But im not going to be all smiles either, i hate it when im like bubbly and happy and mrs.zippity doodah. OK, maybe a little zippity, but no doodah. SHUTTING UP.
Im unique, my family is REALLY unique, my life is extreamly unique. So why am i trying to be so generic, so sterile? The fact of the matter is, beyond the smiles and between the good times and the bad, im still going to be the way i am. Hahaha this is hilarious. Im stupid, i realized that too. I think about irrelevent things, in werid places. I love me, i really do. I crack myself up. Im smily. Im bored. Im ALWAYS bored.

I just want to go out and play with someone, i look cute.

I know that this all sounds so contrived and forced, and like im just saying shit to say it. But im not, for the first time in weeks im feeling utterly satisfied and believe me, it feels good.

We are all yellow boogers on the kleenex of life, and im enjoying some of it for once.

In all its misused glory, happiness seems to be the one thing that continues to stand true amongst us. It some how refreshes us. Emotions are beautiful and yet so ugly. Not a whole lot could ruin my sunny mood today, but please dont try me...im fragile. I have a sticker that proves it.

everytime i write in here i always forget what the hell im actually saying.

predictions of contridictions   
10:36am 02/02/2004
mood: blah
Soooo, today is a new day. Im already predicting that its going to be horrible. Im in a phase where everything is horrible until it proves me wrong. Perhaps its because everything IS horrible...until it proves me wrong. Honestly im struggling, and no one even knows. Im a hypocrite stuck in this impressive body (hah), but in all seriousness, who do people think i am? One think for certian is, teenagers think to much. They think about who they have to be, and who they dont, who they want to be, and who they dont, they think about what other people think, and then they pretend like it doesnt matter. I care. too much.

When are people going to stop thinking and start living? After many an hour of painting my nails and reading fashion magazines ive come to this AMAZING conclusion....oh shit i forgot.
I think people know who i am but only up to a certian point (oh god here i go). Its like everyday im swimming in the ocean with all my clothes on, and little by little the waves keep rising up over my head. IM DROWNING AND NO ONE NOTICES. But let me make this perfectly clear; this is no cry for help, this is the time where you must srip away all your outter layers so you become lighter and once again you can rise to the surface. I must clear my wounds of the salt that tourments them. I must open my eyes and swim back to shore. When i get there, who will be waiting? who will be waiting? who?
The tragedy of that is, i dont even know.

People are full of good intentions, but those are not enough. or at least for me. Im complex, im unpredictable, im someone who, quite possibly, is the most selfish person ever. I dont need a response to that comment, thank you. Sometimes i want to crawl into my bed and read my fashion magazines and paint my nails and think about meaningful things with out other peoples oppinions circulating inside my head. Sometimes what i think ONLY mastters. Not always of course. I value oppinion like gold. Sometmes i go off into tangents in my head, and all i can think of are very dry misconseptions. Like the misconseption that i am an open book. Im anything but, but so are other people so what makes me different? EVERYTHING, words cannot express.

Lets describe my world: Im tall and lovely (much like i am now heh). i live on the beach, in a little shanty. I have multitudes of music to hear for when it is raining, and magazines to enjoy. Im in isolation, but only to a certian extent. We can all isolate oreselves, but only up to a certian extent (think about it). I would think about love, i would miss it too. I would think about love at first sight. all my friends dont believe in it. where have all the passionate people gone, the ones who are the dreamers dreams. Oh wait, they've gone to business school.

People say im cynical, i think ive struck a nerve. Somtimes all i want are my own little thoughts to live in my own little world. Somtimes i hate the world so much. Sometimes i wish i could hate because frankly i've tried, it doesnt work for me. Sometimes i think that my hate for the world covers up my hate for people. There is one thing i know i can hate...I hate hating. I
im ready for it now. the tidal wave that engolfs me and swollows me whole?...yeah that one.

Who will be waiting on my beach when im cold and tired? it doesnt matter because all i'll have to do is walk down to the other side of the beach.
my fingers are cold...and so am i   
04:23pm 28/01/2004
mood: cold
You know when you were little and you're walking down the street with an ice cream cone, just eating/licking away, and its sooo hot that even your sweat is sweating. So here you are just walking down the street enjoying your ice cream and you are like the happiest person ever but then all of a sudden your ice cream just falls right off onto the ground. its gone. When experiences happen in your life why do some of them effect you so incredably, and then some practically not at all. I've been realizing that, that even though im not scared of things im scared of experiences. If only a fraction of my life is lived with the energy that i (seem to) exude i would never miss out on anything. But sadly that doesnt seem to be the case. There are so many different ways to live, to love, to explore, to change, and even to die. Frankly ihave no earthly clue about what im gong on about. Its theraputic for me to just write. Its like me talking to myself except this seems to make me sound a little less insane.
i think i am insane.
in fact, i know i am.
just a random thought on music and why i love it so   
11:49pm 07/10/2003
  theres just something about the way that a song just ... flows. How it rhymes and sometimes it can sound so incredably corny. But then there are those times when it sounds like such a beautiful melody and it all comes together and the whole thing just has meaning for you and you understand it and it just helps you to just go.....alright at least theres a theme song to this act in my life, and everything is going to be alright. - tah

p.s. i love you...you hottie you
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07:38pm 05/10/2003
mood: frustrated
music: The sly caps - the simple life
And its never how i thought it would be...
yippie skippie   
06:40pm 05/10/2003
mood: crazy
music: the Early November - all we ever needed
i cant really like explain why im happy
but i am
but i shouldnt be
but i am

this weekend i ran a 5k. with anna k. it was good fun, sweaty, but good fun.

I hope i dont get myself into trouble...well not trouble...but like...trouble?
i have to shut up now!!
I can just feel it...   
02:46pm 25/09/2003
  You guys i really think im going to move to charleston, its acutally kinda exciting! like i can just feel it.... um its also sad. of course.
i dont know what to think about anything anymore, like for real tho....one minute...whoopie everything great....the next....Eipoohw every thing is not great (thats whoopie backwards)
but its ok because theres always something waiting around the corner to make the transition from whoopie to eipoohw a little smoother until you can get it in to the repair shop to fix it all, no not for good, just until you've gone another 100,000 miles.

p.s. i met another gorgey russian boy...its the other one's brother...le sigh
sleepy...sleepy...very sleepy   
03:42pm 21/09/2003
mood: exhausted
music: phantom planet- loney day
well last night was sarah simpsons 15th bday parrtaay. it was good fun BUT NOW IM SOOO FRICKIN EXAUSTED ITS LIKE NOT EVEN FUNNY, because on friday i spent the night at annaK's but its all good i had a great time. it truly is stuff like this that makes an impression in your memory, and its stuff like this that really matters. So thanks sarah for inviting me to your party i had a great time and i know that (deep breath): Courtney, Anna, Kathrine, Blake, Josie, Michaela, Lee, and Jessie had an awesome time too!
aww well now that im done being sentimental i must go get in the shower for even tho im about to fall over i have to take a shower, eat, do home work, and a loooong nap. soooo over and out.
08:37pm 14/09/2003
mood: indescribable
music: staind- so far away
um lately ive been realizing alot of things and i cant really tell you what ive exactly been realizing but i have been doing alot of thinking (well thats a shocker). but ok i know that things change, me moving to charleston would be a big change but it could happen so... i have to deal. also im changing and alot of things are not the same and i sometimes wish that they were but then again its like when your reading a chapter in a book you might really like it, but even so, you still want to see what happens in the next chapter and thats where im at right now. Also i know that my life right now is alright and i truly belive things happen for a reason and everything works out in the end... and i know that sounds cliche'.

Be patient with me but im finally starting to get it.
Im home...hurray!   
01:12pm 05/09/2003
mood: cheerful
music: My town - By buck o nine
Im home, too exciting! yesterday was my first day of classes at grace and i think its going to be rather challenging, but thats ok i'll do just fine ;). Im way happy to be home. I went to the mall on wednesday and that was sooo fun, this guy at hollister was totally flirting with anna and I (he worked there), well i came out in this white oxford with this navy sweater over it and i was like "do you think it? do you think it looks good with the sweater anna?" and the guy that worked there who was behind their counter was like "ohh yeah". Needless to say, the mall is a great place to be.
whatsup with the time thing   
10:23pm 02/09/2003
mood: nostalgic
music: Waldorf world wide - By good charlotte
the time thing on the journal is wayy confusing because it says "local time" and then its just weird because it has double digit numbers so i just put the regular time down but when i do so it says its AM, so just disregard it until im able to make it right. Did i mention im comming home tomororw? HECK YES!! I cant wait to go shopping and see Anna and Amanda and EVERYONE esspecially all my swim team friends! they deserve a special shout out i think so here goes: Courtney (we have had great convos this summer and that sleepover with caryly was great esspecially when you told those guys to F*** off! frisbee was a ton of fun, thats all im going to say hehe.), carly (more sleep overs tocome!), Holly (more swimming drama and lots more car pools), Leah (im totally sad that your at college but we'll keep in touch hopefully!), Sam (oh rockey we've been through alot..i'll watch that movie one day), James (ur my psyco red head), Jessie (I LOVE YOU!!! we have great times at practice), Blake (intresting girl but alot of fun!), Chet (more sleep overs to come i hope), Sarah (ive known you forever and i hope your shoulder feels better) Anna (Ahh parking lot frisbee, what is better?), Jackie (WJT what can i say about you? well your my favorite texican thats for sure!)
hmm yeah thats about it, i'll see you guys soon!!
im totally stoked!   
08:01am 02/09/2003
mood: excited
music: Happy frappy - by Guster
omg im comming home in T -minus....well T-minus something hours!! Although the day was a little hairy at some points it went ok. I've finally packed all my bags up and cleaned the room, but ok get this, no matter what i do i always have more stuff when im going home then when im actually going somewhere. It doesnt matter if i dont buy anything, its just always like that and IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!! Im excited about the school year that has, unfortunately, come up so fast. I Think its going to be good though. What in batmans trousers am i talking about? im so weird sometimes.....
Anyways i hope you like my new journal, it took me a little while to make it, soo yah!
haha oh god the other day i actually used a wordy-derd (dirty word for those of you that dont speak dorkus) it felt good, i surprised myself a little bit though. BUT WHATEVER, im a snob sometimes what can i say? we all get a few times to act like that. I might abuse the right though.
Im just so stoked about comming home and seeing all my friends that DIDNT CALL ME while ive been here, i hope you guys have guilty consience's!!! (im deff just kidding)
wow im a weirdo, later.
Oh gracious   
01:24am 02/09/2003
mood: busy
music: Resistance is futile- jets to brazil
alright so im getting ready to go home, you know; packing, cleaning, trying to avoid grandmothers rath. All i have to say is : god save the queen.
Shes going crazy and im just kinda like..umm CALM DOWN YO! but im carefully avoiding the land mines and staying out of places shes just cleaned and stuff.
ooh my tush   
01:17am 02/09/2003
mood: sleepy
music: are you happy now?- michelle branch
ive been sitting here trying to fix my little blurty thing for the longest time! i like it alot better then blogger tho so thats good i guess.
my bum is absolutely asleep! i stay up way to late here, like ever since i got here its been tatia up until the wee hours of the morning doing NOTHING but shopping online and talking to people! that is beyond tragic...its just sad. Does that mean the same thing? will the little dark circles go away from under my eyes? are my batman socks really the coolest junk ever? THESE AND MORE QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERD WHEN TATIA FINALLY GOES TO SLEEP, same bat time, same bat place. cheers good night, tat