| things from myspace that didn't need to be there any longer. |
[21 Nov 2005|09:04pm] |
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
wham... and everything hits you all at once.
Current mood: ready.
tonight was my last night at Giorgio's.
nothing in the last 2 months has hit me harder... not even graduation. how is it that something i only spent a year and a half doing could affect me more than something i spent 4 years doing? if i could answer that i would. it kills me that i never got to work a last shift with lauren, anna, and hazel.
I'm going to miss it so much.
7:05 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Saturday, March 19, 2005
If i haven't told you lately, I love you.
I've been thinking alot today... not so much of a good thing but oh well. I like this area alot. It's better than the places I've lived in before. Even still, I need a break really bad. Just to get a way, clear my head, so I can come back and finish the end of the year with a bang... YES YES! thats what i need ;)
Yesterday I went into work and two of the girls i work with were pretty upset. A couple of weeks ago, as you may have seen in the paper or I told you, two of their friends sustained substantial burn damages from a bag of fireworks that went off in the car while they were driving. Of the two kids, the boy had 2nd and 3rd degree burns to 40 percent of his body, and had major damage to his respirtory system. He was kept in the hospital and was recovering well, when he suddenly died in his sleep friday morning. Click here for more information on his death I didn't know either of the kids involved in the accident, but it really made me think about what i would do if i lost any of you to a careless act of "fun". No one expects things to go wrong, but they do. I'm so glad and so lucky that all of the outrageous acts that i have experienced with you all have not ended in tragedy. Think twice before you do something, and please please please be safe about it. I love you all dearly, and i can't afford, you can't afford to lose your life... nothing, nothing is worth that.
I would ask you all to take a few seconds or a minute to say a prayer for Taylor, his family, and his friends.
9:47 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Sunday, March 06, 2005
i wish you were here.
Current mood: melancholy
yadda yadda… that’s how life seems to be right now.
I’ve been hearing a lot about mike leaving for boot camp lately. I mean and with good reason, he did leave. Its just been making me think. I get so busy and wrapped up in myself that I sometimes forget who’s around me, and even more who isn’t around me. I guess its easier, in a sense, to put Eric aside sometimes… not him but the thoughts that wow he really isn’t around. I think about him nearly everyday and now more than ever it was his birthday Friday or Saturday… I’m not really sure which, I always get confused to begin with and he called on our Friday night, but it was his Saturday morning… we said happy birthday so I wasn’t sure if it was a happy late birthday or a happy birthday… I don’t know hahaha, what a good sister I am… But anyways, that’s besides the point. He never got my first letter. That made me upset. I mean I know he can’t help it, and I think its just because they’re patrolling a special command area, so they aren’t allowed to have mail or package drops, phone calls, and they were just recently allowed email privileges. They stopped at a remote island for a break. From what he said, it sounds beautiful. I hope the damn idiot gets a camera to take pictures. I love him to death, but really, he just is so dumb sometimes I swear. Last year I dealt with him not being home for Christmas, hard as it was, so this year wasn’t so bad, hard still but not as much. Then he came home mid January. This year he's not home until mid-Aprilish… we aren’t really supposed to know so it’s a guesstimate… When they’re back in Connecticut, they have 2 weeks lock down, then 2 weeks off, then they go back out for a month. Those are just normal procedures. If you do the math mid-April plus 4 weeks brings you to mid-May, and a month out brings you to mid-June… past June 10th. Mom and Dad told me today at breakfast, I didn’t react much, mostly because it didn’t really process. I've had nearly 15 Christmases with him, I can deal without one. I've had nearly 15 birthdays with him, I can deal without one. I've been to two graduations. One for Amy, one for Eric, and now to think I won’t have that privilege given back to me… I don’t know if I can deal with that very well, if at all. It’s not fair. That’s all I can really think to say. I won’t be able to change it, I know. I can cry all I want. I can be mad and angry, and hate the Navy, but it won’t change it, I know. Even though I know all that you would think that’d I could get over it easier, but somehow I don’t think this is going to be easy. In fact, this will be harder then Christmas, and ten times harder then birthdays. As happy as I’ll be on the 10th, I know I’ll shed a tears that day too. Tears different then everyone else’s… I miss him so much.
Currently listening:
Morning View
By Incubus
Release date: By 23 October, 2001
10:19 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Edit - Remove
Saturday, February 19, 2005
a voice through the dischord
what would you do when your whole world turned upside down, spun around, and stopped. leaving you dizy and empty. not knowing what to do or where to start. all the things you knew to be true just werent anymore. all your reasons, for everything, theyre all gone and all so very wrong. and just when you think you've put all your mistakes past you, no, now they are right in front of you. staring you in the eyes, saying what the fuck were you really thinking. questioning your every move. leaving you to re-evaluate the past months and figure out what you really did wrong. telling you oh ya and it really was wrong. what would you do because i don't even know where to begin.
11:26 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Sunday, February 13, 2005
i thought i knew..
Current mood: alert
confusion comes from conflicts between the heart and the mind. one says one thing but the other says something else. and contrary to others' beliefs i think most of the time people listen to their heart... especially when it comes to love for other people because your heart is still with that person. Despite the decision, the outcome, the aftermath, there will come a point when your mind prevails. when it happens, thats when you'll know. like an epifany. it will all be so clear. you might find what you did was the wrong path, but you'll let it go or maybe even fix it if possible. i found that point today. and its not so much a good feeling, but in a way a sort of relief. i know what i have to do now and itll be easier done. this is from my mind.
the defining moment.
february 13th, 2005.
its how it will be.
how it is now.
if not farther.
so i see it now.
the defining moment.
its all that i can see.
keep away from you.
thats how you want it now.
so thats how it will be.
if not farther now.
so i see.
its only how you'll let it be.
the defining moment.
and thats all that i need.
hellos are gone.
goodbyes worn out.
sorrys overplayed.
its how it will be.
no crys of mistake.
none left of regret.
cant take back damage done.
thats how it is.
your shoulder has definition.
i see it now.
more clearly now.
your room never was cold.
but if it is now...
well check your shoulders.
thats all you need.
its how it will be.
how it is now.
if not farther.
so i see it now.
the defining moment.
and thats all i need.
no hostility.
hatred of any sort.
just parting of ways.
no one at fault.
bound to happen,
how it is now.
a simple so long.
ill see you around.
just remember
the future is unstable,
don't ponder it so much.
and the past is weakness.
don't forget it completly.
don't hold it too close.
handle it gently for, it can destroy.
but don't forget, no don't forget.
now is all that matters.
just roll with the punches.
don't let them knock you down.
time eases all things
remember that too
keep your head up in the mean time.
surrounded by friends.
just know you're loved
and always will be
a stepping stone in life.
thats how it will be.
how you want it now.
so i see.
its only how you'll let it be.
how you'll let it be
love always,
erin
Currently listening:
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
By The Smashing Pumpkins
Release date: By 24 October, 1995
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