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10th February 2004

10:09pm: One Is A Lonely Number, Unless You Like Being Alone
I like being alone, sometimes. It's just GOOD. I need my time to myself. So I was supposed to go see a movie with Arttie, but then he got shitty with me and I got pissed off. I left without him and saw a movie by myself for the first time in forever. I saw Barbershop 2 and I enjoyed it. Had popcorn, root was an alright time. Got home, got annoyed and went to bed.
I don't know what it is, but I don't feel like myself. I'm like an unrated movie, just can't figure me out.
Current Mood: restless
Current Music: Some Artist I Don't Know - Suga, Suga How'd You Get So Fly?

9th February 2004

4:33pm: Nightmare On Ware Road
I think I hate my boss more than I ever have. I had my three month review at work today and that woman just pisses me off. She doesn't even have to try. Looking at her makes my skin goose-pimple up and I get ill by the sound of her voice.
So according to this witch, I have to hem my scrub pants. I should wear some makeup. Hello, this is a veterinary office, I really don't think the pets give a shit if I'm wearing makeup or not and as for hemming my pants...I'm not tripping on them. The day I hem my flippin' pants for HER is the day I grow a dick and she sucks it. I'm not kidding.
She also told me I stand around with my hands in my pockets and that I need to find something to do. This is not true at all. I come home on a daily basis worn out from trying to look like I was doing something all day, because she has no business and everything that CAN be done IS done. I don't put my hands in my pockets! I don't stand around! I work - I have witnesses that I do!
She said that I'm always late to work and this is just NOT the case. The deal is that her time clock needs a damn tune up, that's what. I set my watch every Friday to that thing and then I go out to my car and set my car clock to my watch. Come Monday morning, I pull into the driveway at 8:39, walk into the building, punch in, look at my time card and it says 8:44. IT DOESN'T TAKE ME FIVE MINUTES TO WALK FROM MY CAR TO THE TIME CLOCK! It takes like...thirty seconds. I don't know what the hell it is - a time warp or something is going on. No point in arguing with this witch, she's the boss, right?
She told me that she has "grounds" to fire me and asked me what I think she should do about this situation. I told I couldn't help her with that, because she is (afterall) the boss. Then she said I was getting an attitude with her and acting like I didn't care! I told her dumb ass in the most sincere, polite tone that she was misunderstanding me (which she was). I wasn't getting anything but bullshitted on! I told her she wasn't reading me right, and to please stop thinking that she was, because she doesn't know anything about me.
And I'm not allowed to have/get a second job or else I'm fired. NOT ALLOWED. This woman is a trip! I told her that I had a second job, just to get her goat and boy...that worked. She gave me an ultimatum. I have to tell her "what my plans are" at the end of this week.
I'd like to tell her to fly to the moon and never return - but then I wouldn't need to think about what my plans are, because I wouldn't be employed by her anymore. That doesn't sound so bad...
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Not Now

7th February 2004

9:23pm: Genie In A Bottle
Yeah...nothing seems to rub me the right way anymore. Me three wishes for this evening are as follows:

1) To not be so damn hungry when I just ate enough food to feed a small country.
2) To be in the mood to go somewhere and not change my mind before I get dressed.
3) To not have to go back to work until I feel like it, and get paid like I've been working overtime.

Wishes not granted!
Current Mood: moody
Current Music: Britney Spears - In The Zone

6th February 2004

10:11pm: Just Gettin' A Few Things Out
I don't feel like thinking about it, but my b/f is pissing me off more and more. He's not doing ANYTHING! He's got a B.A. in Science & Biology and he's not DOING anything, but working at a flippin' grocery store PART-TIME. He can never seem to get anything done. Remembering anything is the real task, because obviously it's not important enough for him to WANT to remember. Little things that bother me and big things. He spends all of his flippin' spare time playing games on the XBox - and I'm not saying he should be spending his time with me, it's not like that.
He wants to be a Forensic Pathologist, right? Then he should be applying to forensic schools! Be studying for the MCATS so he can get into a medical school! Applying to a medical school! Volunteering! Taking ANY fucking kind of lab or hospital job he can find and not be so damn picky! He got offered a job as a receptionist in a laboratory and he wouldn't do it. A) Because it's a girly job and not what he's "looking" for and; B) He hates talking on the phone. He acts funny about ordering a pizza or calling to make an appointment for crying out loud! I have no idea how he expects to get anywhere the way he's going. And it's really upsetting.
The little things that he could do instead of whatever he does now? Call the mechanic and Ford to see about fixing his car, already! Make a dentist appt. that's long overdue or a hair appt.! DO his fucking laundry that has been sitting upstairs in his room for the past three weeks...I'm NOT kidding. He's been wearing the same shit and when I mention it to him, he says it's not true. "I've got clean clothes..." Bullshit! I know his clothes - the boy ain't wearin' clean ones. I've tried to convince him that he's mistaken, but he makes it out like I'm attacking him. I just want the two and a half baskets of dirty clothes to disappear! That's all! And now I sound like a bitchy/naggy mother. That's just wrong.
Current Mood: irritated
Current Music: Silence Is Golden

5th February 2004

8:57pm: My Boss Is An Ugly Old Witch
Same crap, different day. I'm really sick of this weather. I want green grass, trees and sunny skies. I want longer days. I wouldn't mind weather like they have in California or Florida, but I'd get real homesick. Unless I could bring my family, friends and things that make me happy WITH me.
Valentine's Day is this coming weekend and I can't visit home. I should want to spend it with Arttie and not be so damn disappointed, but I just am. The next possible time I could visit home is three weeks from now and that's only if I'm lucky. If I can talk one of the tech's (Tani) into working Friday for me and I get out of surgery day which is Thursday...I could leave early Wednesday. That way it would be worthwhile, because Friday through Sunday isn't cool. Especially, if Friday and Sunday I'm driving the entire day, haha!
I don't think that wicked witch will let me off on Thursday, though. Not since I've told her I'm not working past 5pm - EVER. She's been having a shitfit. "I told you specifically when I hired you..." "You'd eventually be working nights (aka 12-9pm)..." That woman never said no such thing until AFTER I was hired, but she's in denial. She also knows what she can suck if she EVER thinks that I'm working THAT shift! Flippin' cow.
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Lord Of The Rings Movie

4th February 2004

12:24pm: To Write Or Not To Write
What my problem is, is that I have so much on my mind that I don't know where to start. I don't know HOW start. I don't even feel like getting into any of it half the time, because that means I have to think about it and that gives me a head ache. It also tends to put me in a bad mood.
I really tried to sit down and write in my actual handwritten journal how I feel, but I can never get past the date and I can never finish the entry. It's absolutely ridiculous. When I was younger I kept a journal well, now I'm just lazy and at a loss for words.
Current Mood: listless
Current Music: Like 5 Different Songs That I Don't Know The Names Of
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