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. . .it's so much easier t0 go. . . [15 Nov 2003|06:09pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | that ^^ ] It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone Something has been taken from deep inside of me The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show they never go away Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made I would) (If I could stand up and take the blame I would) (If I could take all the shame to the grave I would) (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made I would) (If I could stand up and take the blame I would) (I would take all my shame to the grave) [Chorus] It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so there'd never be a past (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made I would) (If I could stand up and take the blame I would) (If I could take all the shame to the grave I would) (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made I would) (If I could stand up and take the blame I would) (I would take all my shame to the grave) Just washing it aside All of the helplessness inside Pretending I don't feel misplaced It's so much simpler than change [Chorus] It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone It's easier to run (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made) It's easier to go (If I could change I would take back the pain I would) (Retrace every wrong move that I made I would) (If I could stand up and take the blame I would) (I would take all my shame to the grave) something isn't right here

. . .s0mething missing, left behind. . . [15 Nov 2003|01:11pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Paris in Flames -- Thursday ] ". . .Something missing. . . Left behind. . . Search in circles. . . Every time I try. . . I've been here before. . . I've seen you before. . ." haha, right. Been here bef0re. Seems like I'm ALWAYS getting S0ME0NE angry at me. For instance. WEDNESDAY NiGHT Ant and I were arguing over Alex. Because Alex is a stupid little bitch, and Ant WILL N0T ADMIT THAT. So of course, we started arguing. I thought I was only looking out for him, being a true best friend. And then I said the one thing that really cost me a best friend. FL x PaPi: I don't think you have that much ground to be judgmental! You've met Alex once! Sweet Huni Babi: I can make all the judgments I want. I think you're making a mistake! FL x PaPi: Is it a mistake because I finally feel close to someone that isn't living in fucking New Jersey!? Sweet Huni Babi: Oh my god Ant, stop being such a fucking fag. Sweet Huni Babi: omg. no, I didn't just say that. FL x PaPi: Christine. Do not fucking talk to me. Ever. Again. I expect that from idiots like Dean and Vinny, not from my BEST FUCKING FRIEND. . . .and then he signed off. I'm such an idiot. But, as always, it gets better. Sweet Huni Babi: You just can't accept that yeah, I said something wrong. I can't walk around on eggshells for you all the time! FL x PaPi: No, You just think you just know everyone inside and out as soon as you meet them. When, in truth, you DON'T. Sweet Huni Babi: That's bullshit, and you know it! FL x PaPi: I think you just don't want me to have a relationship, and you just want to be the only important person in my life, god dammit. Sweet Huni Babi: Now, that is the biggest load of shit that's ever come out of your mouth. FL x PaPi: No, you know what, I think it's true. You hold onto your friends so fucking tight. You don't want ANYONE having any other friends except you. You don't want anyone doing anything that doesn't involve you. Why do you think you're always fighting with friends? You're fucking PARANOID. And your fucking jealous of everyone. You're turning into a headcase like your mother. Sweet Huni Babi: ...Anthony. Number one, Never ever talk about my mother, because you DON'T understand. Number two, FUCK YOU. If you're going to talk to me like that, then seriously, go have fucking fun with Alex, because, well, THATS ALL YOU EVER DO. FL x PaPi: I knew it, you're JEALOUS. Sweet Huni Babi: Don't kid yourself. FL x PaPi: You know what, fine. FUCK YOU. Don't talk to me. Don't call me when you're sad. Don't ask me to GET ON A PLANE to see you IN BARBADOS. ". . .I can't escape walking down these halls. . . Hard to find a place where there are no walls. . . And no lines begging me to cross. . . Only straight ahead better move along. . ." Am I really like that? Do I really push everyone away because I'm such a jealous monster? ...I've just lost one of the best friends I've ever had. And I just, I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. I'm S0RRY. ". . .Like Clockwork. . . I commit the crime. . . I pretend to be. . . everything they like. . . I've been here before. . . I've seen you before. . ." Uh, lets see. Since no one will actually read this, or care, I'll just write about what I did last night. I went to RB...and hung out with Chrissy, Mevvy and Camille. Saw Kelly, Michele, Sal and Anthony a few times, but they were mostly off with eachother. But whatever. Mevvy said she was going to talk to THE FRESHMAN for me. woo. ". . .And I trade everything for this. . . And I trade everything for this. . . Why do I read the writing on the wall. . . Why do I read the writing on the wall. . . I won't lose my place in line. . ." Today sucks. This week sucks. This month sucks. This whole fucking year just blew. I mean, lets recap? I missed having a freshman year, in Holmdel, where I should have been. My parents got divorced. My Dad got remarried. I've fought with so many people. It's been so shitty. The only good parts have been finding my true friends ((kelly, megz, mich, chrissy, ant and mev)) and going to camp...which was, as anyone could tell, fucking amazing. ". . .I've been here too long and I've spent to much time. . . I won't lose my place in line. . . I've been here too long and I've spent too much time. . ." ciao tutti. CHRiSSY<3 forget name, forget my face, because's it's gonna rain, and it NEVER ends. 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

. . .g0d im an idiot. . . [13 Nov 2003|08:00pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Finch -- What it is to burn ((hehe<33)) ] LET ME JUST SAY. ANTH0NY, I AM S0 FUCKING S0RRY...you are the only guy I've ever L0VED. You're like a BR0THER to me, and I'm so sorry...I don't even believe I said such a horrible thing to you...i love you so much, and I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm so fucked up, it's crazy. i'm s0rry to everyone. I'm sorry for being jealous. I'm sorry for crying so much. I'm sorry for being oversensitive. I'm sorry for caring too much. I'm sorry for being paranoid. I'm sorry for needing constant reassurance. I'm sorry for whining. I'm sorry for complaining. I'm sorry for listening to your problems. I'm sorry for not telling you mine. And most of all, I'm sorry for loving every single one of you very much. Maybe a little too much sometimes. But still, you're all S0 important to me, and I think you all know who you are. something isn't right here

Lago, chi siamo?. . . [06 Nov 2003|11:43pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | Verve Pipe -- Freshman...<333 it! ] umm...FiRST AND F0REM0ST...LAURA...we are fucking g0ing back next year. Hopefulllyy...WWWTW isn't there...as a counselor...l0l...or his brother...PABL0! N0STALGiA. . . alright, lago del b0sco...who remembers... ". . .Al chiaror del mattin'. . . Al chiaror del mattin'. . . Ci sveglia la canzon' Ci sevglia la canzon'. . . 0R EVEN. . . ". . .Ooh la la la che fame gente. . . Ooh la la la che fame ZACH. . . ...mi PiACE il pane! moltissi issi issimo! ... CiB0 CiB0 oh oh! ((g0tta <3 lorena)) Oh yes. And all those Waldsee kids who had a blast with..."I0 VAD0 ALLA VASCHETTA"...ayaaa Come vorrei essere nel Lago Del Bosco...B0L0GNA ANY0NE...?! aha...we l0ve you, german counsel0r who the Chicagos thought was a stuf mufffin...((god damn truck drivers! l0l, i L0VE you girls!!!)) . . .0kay. . . ". . . Sono andata alla caccia di leon'. . . BANG, BANG. . . !!!. . ." ". . .Un leone sta dormendo, non lontan'. . . RONF, RONF. . ." NEXT YEAR. . .THE 2 EASTC0ASTERS ((minus krysten, who Me and Laura are going to miss so fucking much!!!)) AND THE 3 CHiCAG0S. . .0WN THAT FUCKiNG CAMP! ahhhh...lets pray for some sexy guys...that AREN'T couselors...!!! 0KAY! SURVEY TIME...because, I love this survey!!! CURRENTS. . . Current clothes : White Merrill Lynch teeshirt & Pink Victoria's Secret pajama pantses. Current hair : Curly and Up in some strange contortion...commonly known as the messy bun... Current mood : content. Current music : Made Of Glass -- Trapt Current taste : um, spit? Current smell : that 'freshly vaccuumed' smell. Despise it. Current annoyance : I'm sick. And sleepy. And bah. Current thing i ought to be doing : Uh, possibly sleeping? Current desktop : 0RLAND0 AS LEG0LAS. . .I fucking love that man. He is my husband. Since Black Hawk Down. HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current favorite band : The Juliana Theory ((as always)) and Trapt. Current book : I've just finished "Confessions 0f a Shopaholic" about 10 minutes ag0, going to start the new Gossip Girl later. Current CD in CD-player : My mix from Barbados. Current color of toenails : Baby Blue, from the pedicure that I got in the spa...which I fucked up majorly. l0l. Current worry : Report Cards. raaar... Current crush : Sal's hott friend, not a crush though? And there's this freshman...*stops there* LAST PERSON. . . You touched : The doctor. l0l. You talked to : My mom. You hugged : My mom. You instant messaged : Deanna You yelled at : Matt. We're wonderful, We yell at eachother all the time. It's wonderful. Who broke your heart : James. *moves on* FAVOURITE. . . Person : kelly . megz . anth0ny . tee . chrissy . mich . mev . deanna . krissy Memory : g0d...8th grade, WASHiNGT0N! Food : The Bajan food...0MG s0o yummy. Drink : daiquiris, shirley temples, diet sunkist & water Color : . . .PiNK iS MY SiGNATURE C0L0UR. . . Shoes : I've done this survey bef0re...and I wrote that I needed new Tims. I should be sh0t for that. I wear Etnies. But I want my pink Gallaz and that pair of Dolce boots I saw a few weeks ago. Candy : Six letters. G-0-D-i-V-A Animal : dolphins, manatees, puppies. TV-show : SEX AND THE CiTY, Degrassi, Ren and Stimpy, Real World, What Not To Wear, QUEER EYE F0R THE STRAiGHT GUY!!! Dance : uh, ? Song : Fuel -- Falls on Me & VervePipe -- Freshman Vegetable : lettuce, peppers, broccoli, carrots, radishes, potatos, tomatos, and corn. Fruit : A whole bunch. ARE YOU. . . Understanding : sure. But I can be disgustingly judgemental. Open-minded : f0r the most part. . . Arrogant : n0t really, maybe s0metimes. Insecure : About certain things. Interesting : As in weird? Then of c0urse. Hungry : n0pe. Friendly : haha, yes. Smart : I'm smart, I'm also very very ditzy. Moody : ohhh...yes Childish : Nope. I've had to grow up a lot quicker than most... Independent : ab0ut certain things. Organized : most definatly n0t! Healthy : Sure. Shy : oh, I sure can be. Difficult : I can be pretty fucking stubb0rn. . . Attractive : I guess I'm not too horrible looking. Bored easily : n0pe, more like, easily amused. Messy : . . .obvi0usly, you have n0t seen my room. . . Thirsty : somewhat. Responsible : For the m0st part. Obsessive : w0w, I can be. very much. Angry : I have a sh0rt fuse. . . Sad : n0pe. Happy : sure. Trusting : hmmm. . .sometimes. Ill : n0pe. Talkative : yes, I am a chatterb0x. Original : hell n0. I f0llow trends. . . Different : n0ne of my friends are like me, at all. Unique : n0pe. Ignored : n0pe. Content : yes, very much so. A thinker : yes. m0re like, one who ponders. Sleepy : yes, have been for two weeks. Mom thinks I have m0no. I will saw off my head if I have m0no. Lonely : never. WHO DO YOU WANT TO. . . Kill : n0 one. I don't hate people, it's wrong. Kiss : Sal's h0tt friend. . .and that freshman *grin* Hug : every0ne. Hook up : CHRiSSY AND BRAD! Shake : ...shake? Be like : I want to be as funny as Megz. As secure as Anthony. As crazy as Kelly. As sexy as Tee. As motherly as Mevvy. As pretty as Michele. and As awesome as Chrissy. When was the last time you. . . Smiled : I am right n0w. Smiling is good for you! Laughed : At the tanning sal0n. Cried : I cried f0r something, kind of recently. Bought something : Clothes-wise, this past weekend. . .and I bought tanning lotion today? Danced : l0l. Camp. CAMP DANCE! Where Laura was looking dope. Dope. aha! i love y0uu. . . Were sarcastic : today. Kissed someone : A few weeks ago. Talked to an ex : About an hour ago. Watched your favorite movie : I haven't watched TTT in so fucking l0ng. I let it at Daddies' h0use. I'll get it tomorrow! AND WATCH IT T0M0RR0W! Had a nightmare : recently, n0t sure when. Were lulled to sleep by the thought of someone : last night. That hott 23 year old guy in Barbados that we met. Who was hitting on me. He looked like Orlando. Wanted to pounce him. [ A Last time for everything.. ]. . . Last book you read : Confessions of A Shopaholic Last movie you saw : Steel Magnolias Last song you heard : "In My Dreams" -- Robert Miles Last thing you had to drink : water. Last time you showered : Yesterday. I can't sh0wer till tomorrow AM...something ab0ut this tanner l0tion and that Cycl0ne shit... Last thing you ate : umm...Dinner at TGI Fridays with Mommy. was nice. [ Body ]. . . 1. What do you most like about your body: My eyes. And my nice tan. *grin* Now I can NEVER c0mplain about being pale again!!! 2. And least : My stomach is a little...fat. l0l. 3. How many fillings do you have : L0ts. I was a shitty little kid. l0l. 4. Do you think you're good looking : ...um, sure? 5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking : yes. 6. Do you look like any celebrities : I got Trishelle from Real World Las Vegas really recently. [ Fashion ]. . . 1. Do you wear a watch : yes. My pink one. 2. How many coats and jackets do you own : I am the jacket / sweatshirt w0men. Like, 40. 3. Most expensive item of clothing : Jacket -- $300, Shoes -- $545 ((Manolos, I will never touch again)), Shirt -- $175, Jeans -- $170 4. What kind of shoes do you wear : Etnies. 5. Describe your style in one word : Expensive. l0l megz! [ Religion ]. . . 1. Do you detest religion : I don't detest it, I just don't follow it. 2. How do you think this universe was formed : 2 pe0ple, and l0ads of sex... 3. If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant : I'm Catholic, I guess. And To each his own. 4. If you were in a hostage situation, and you were given a choice, to either praise the demon they follow or die, what would you choose : ...uh, praise the dem0n... [ General Questions ]. . . 1. Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment : My daddy. 2. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day : sunny, no humidity! 3. Do you consider yourself lucky : surely. I have parents who love me ((and sp0il me rotten)) and a group of friends that I wouldn't trade for ANYTHiNG. . . 4. Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide : yes. 5. Choose one word to describe how you feel most often: happy. [Stuff ]. . . 1. Do you own any plaid clothing : Burberry is plaid... 2. Do you own Converse shoes : hell n0. 3. Do you own Saucony shoes : n0pe. 4. Do you own old school Nikes : n0pe. 5. Do you wear tight pants : yes. 6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants : . . .n0pe? 7. Do you know what a squatter flap is : n0t a clue. 8. Do you own a messenger bag : yes. 9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest : noo 10. Do you own braces : like, from when I was five. 11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth : yes, braces are suspenders in England. 12. Do you have short, shaggy hair : n0pe, but that's sexy on guys. 13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches : If I blowdry upside down, then yes. 14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon : haha...at times! 15. Do you think mohawks are "neat" : On the right person, it's sexy . 16. Is your hair black or red : no. 17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye : Goldwell bleach/dye. Highlights/Dye. 18. Do you own a bandana : n0pe. 19. Do you wear plugs in your ears : no, I'm gauged standard, thankyou. 20. Are you amused by safety pins : yes! 21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute : hell n0! 22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them : I own nothing with anything rem0tely spikey. 23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip Service, or Tiger of London : What the fuck are they? 24. Do you enjoy leopard print : as bedding a such. Not as cl0thing. [ Habits/Beliefs ]. . . 25. Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything) : nope. 26. Are you an anarchist : that is so outdated. 27. Does the American flag anger you : n0pe, I think it's pretty. 28. Are you "working class" : n0pe. 29. Do you dislike "preps" : I am 0ne, l0l. 30. Do you dislike Hot Topic : Kind of, I just feel...0ut of place in there. 31. Do you smoke cigarettes : N0! My mom does and I HATE IT, 0mggg... 32. Do you smoke cloves : what? 33. Are you a thin waif : I wish! 34. Vegetarian? : Nope. Nothing is better than a big hunk of dead cow. yum yum. 35. Do you think meat is murder : n0pe. 36. Do your nighttime activities usually involve drunken underage vomiting : naaah... 37. Have you ever slept in an alley or park : n0pe? 38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week : that's just nasty. 39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower : FUCK NO. 40. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor : ...n0. I smell g0od. 41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is : n0pe... 42. Do you like Mr. Kerouac : . . . 43. Should Mumia Abu-jamal be freed from prison : Anyone with the name Abu in their name is cool. Like the monkey from Aladdin! 44. Are you a member of the Makeout Club : n0pe? 45. Do you say "rad" : no, but that's al0ng the lines of D0PE! [ Other ]. . . Name : Christine Do you like it : I prefer Chrissy Nicknames : Chrissy, Issy, Blondie, Twinkles, Johannes, Asheem & Pookie Screen names : AIM: SweetHuniBabi MSN: ChrissyxLicious Age : 15 Birthday : June 26th 1988 Sign : Cancer. Location : Holmdel, NJ ((ahh, yay!)) School : Holmdel High School. Status : . . .single and l0ving it AS ALWAYS<3 Natural hair color : uh, n0t sure. Current hair color : bl0nde. Eye color : blue. Height : 5'8" Birthplace : Glenn Ridge, NJ Shoe size : Depends. 9-10 l0l. big f0ot. [ Family ]. . . Parents : Daddie & Mommie, divorced though. Siblings : Danielle Favorite relative : Mommie nd Daddie! [ Favorites ]. . . Number : 5 Colour : Pink! Day : Everyday except Sunday and Monday. Month : september, may, june & december. Song : Freshman -- VervePipe Movie: <3L0TR<3, Cruel Intentions, Empire Records, Harry Potter, Nightmare Before Christmas. Food : italian Season: spring and autumn. Sport : football, figure skating & gymnastics. Class : English. Teacher : ever? Mr. Hughes. currently? Mr. Fiore. Drink (non-alcoholic) : Shirley Temples. Alcoholic: Smirnoff Ice and Daiquiris Veggie : Asked. TV Show : Asked. Radio Station : I don't listen to the radio much. . . Store : bebe, coach, Abercrombie & French Connection Word(s) : l0ts. Animal : Asked. Flower : orchids & PiNK R0SES <3 State : Jersey and Florida! [This or That ]. . . Me / You : y0u. Coke / pepsi : c0ke. Day / night : night. Aol / aim : AIM. CD / cassette : CD. Dvd / VHS : DVD. Jeans / khakis : Jeans. Car / truck : Car. Tall / short : Tall Lunch / dinner : dinner. N'sync / BSB : Nsyncs Gap / Old Navy : old navy has comfy sweatshirts // fleeces Lipstick / Lipgloss : Gloss. Silver / Gold : Silver. Alcohol / Weed : Alcohol [ Love and Relationships ]. . . Do you have a bf/gf : n0pe // d0n't want one. Do you have a crush : Asked me thiiis How long have you liked him/her : The hott friend has been h0tt since I saw him and the freshman since the day I started sch0ol. If you're single, why are you single : Because, I don't want a relationship? How long was your longest relationship : uh, like, a year. How long was your shortest relationship : pr0bably like, a week. 0KAY KiDS...0FF i G0 <333 ciao tutti. CHRiSSY<3 carmela<3 i love megz. soo muchies muchies muchies! something isn't right here

i h0pe y0u're satisfied. . . [03 Nov 2003|03:53pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | I'll Stay -- Trapt ] ". . .Open up my eyes. . . Flooded with daylight. . . Another sleepless night turns color black and white. . ." Krissy is a weird one, all making me guess who her boyfriend was. l0l. but THAT IS S0 CUTE...!!! ". . .With all the things I've said. . . There is just regret. . . Repeating in my head. . ." Sooo!!! There's this freshman. *wink* *wink* I'll st0p there...because I'm sure to get 50378427389 IM's like, what freshman do you think is h0ttttt?!!!?!?!?! -ahem- n0ne of your business, f0ur times over. Someone else is hott too. Kelly knows who I'm talking about. Someone else is hott, as well. But he's been hott since 5th grade, when I moved to the H-DEL! And then there's 1 other person that is hot, but like, no one else would think he was. But I do, 'cause...I'm just coooool like that. ". . .Hands into a fist. . . Static in my head. . . Now I'm sitting face to face with lonlyness. . . What did I expect. . . Did I see forever. . . in you. . ." Ummm...yes. I'm procrastinating doing homework. o0o YES! maaaah. 4 day weekend. Spent at daddies'. So not fun. Aha! We were watching this movie today in TV prod..."Roadwarriors" or some shit. And there's this little kid, reminds me of BamBam...AND HE GRUNTS! It's sooo funny. ANd then this blonde guy gets shot and Doug was like, There goes Sting!!!. I love that kid, him and Adam are soo funny. Our whole class is awesome, except for ONEEE girl. She like, ruins everyone's fun, It's pretty stupid. Want to smack her. ". . .I never wanted it to hurt. . . more than it should. . . I hope your satisfied. . . I never could. . . Time to close my eyes. . . Forget about this mess. . . Tried to fix this tragic loss of innocence. . ." 0MFG! Funniest Website ever!!! I love those two guys. I will marry the blonde one. I have this thing for blonde men. Blonde men are automatically hotter than non-blondes. *grin* Hence my husband. My husband is starring in a movie that he gets killed in. *sigh* 'I'm too sexy for my...' ". . .But how can I forget. . . The things I haven't done. . . When everything is dead. . ." 'y0u're just jealous cause I'm p0pular!!!' ahh...I love when people say gay shit to me. /**M**\(**U**)/**A**\|**H**| <-- *dies laughing* i used to do that in 5th grade. *dies laughing* okay. I'm not finishing that song. I'm going to go. !!!!!!jkqshwahdhwad! i love youuu... anthony is my true love. we're getttting married...i love you mookie...((mookie and pookie forever!!!)) ah. <3333333 CHRiSSY 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

. . .RAAAR. . . [30 Oct 2003|04:47pm] [ mood | impressed ] [ music | Nothing. 0_o ] FiRST AND F0REM0ST...!!! H0WS AB0UT WE D0N'T TALK AB0UT CHRiSSY iN 0UR J0URNALS?. . . i fucking ad0re this immaturity. it's yummy. 0h! And walking past me in the hallway and calling me a slut? w0o! that's eveeeen betttterrr!!! w0o, rock on nimrods! SEC0NDLY. . . uMm...I love megz. She is my LiFE SAVER...without her, I'd fail like, all my classes and be a hopeless, wart-faced bufoon. chaaaa. i loves you yoko // unglabesh THiRDLY (?) i am an IDI0T. . .I just don't know how to tell him *sniffles* even kelly said I was an idiot. idiots RULE. F0URTHLY (??) My m0m bought 15 pounds of halloween candy. Guess who gets to get fat(-er) on the leftovers? You guessed it! FiFTHLY (??? okay, I know this one doesn't exist) I'm just writing this to pass time until like 5:20, cuz then I get to go tanning. AND THE NEXT PERS0N T0 TELL ME I'M G0NNA GET SKIN CANCER...well FUCK Y0000U!!! "I'd rather die with a tan, than die pale" "Why? It'd save money on makeup to die pale." anthony, you're so...supportive. BABBLiNG 0N. . . I am an official fat kid! *...w0o...* i bet ant, and kelly and megz and everyone is going to pelt me with eggs for saying that. I'm g0ing nowwww... something isn't right here

i must be sleeping. . . [23 Oct 2003|09:11pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Made of Glass -- Trapt ] uMm...yeahhh... ". . .this is my life. . . its not what it was before. . . all these feelings i've shared. . . and these are my dreams. . . that i'd never lived . . cuz i. . . i must be sleeping. . ." finally h0me from BARBAD0S...was awesome, to say the least. By far, the bestestestestestest part was seeing my fucking amazing anth0ny, who is my bestestestest friend ((besides smelly, of course, l0l))...!!! uMm...but yes. Seriously, we had so much fucking fun. Jet skiing & Sunbathing...h0wever...I forgot I had a camera until Saturday morning...s0o fucking angry. Wish I had it f0r the "FiRE AND BRiMST0NE" incident...!!! Anyways... ". . .now that we're here. . . it's so far away. . . all the struggle we thought was in vain. . . all in the mistakes. . . one life contained. . . they all finally start to go away. . ." uMm...yes. The wedding. dun dun dun. Well, actually. I'm going to start with Alis0n... We had a L0NG talk on Friday night. Lots of tears. Basiiicaallyyy...She 'ap0logized' for everything...apologized for making me feel excluded, and for breaking up my family. I have a l0t more respect f0r her now...She truly does have a nice side... BUT...!!! There were 51 people there for the wedding, n0t including Me, Daddie and Ali...about 40 of them were her friends...n0t many from Dad & My side...but, it was all g0od...!!! Her friends are awes0me...s0o much fun. It was kind of creepy, Alis0n's nephew, my new step c0usin...he was like, flirting with me...HE'S 13! Daddie did warn me that he thinks he's the shit. But, he was the only one close to my age that wasn't an adult. Every0ne thought we were like, 'getting funky' as 0ne of them put it...PSHH AS IF...!!! Anyways, There were 3 little girls that are the same age, and they all stuck together. Hannah ((new step - c0usin, absolutely ad0re her!)), Nicola ((was kind of a bitch...d0n't like her)) and Fiona ((sweetest little thing ever, f0llowed me around to no end))...and then the really little ones, Emily ((0mg...s0o cute! her parents Steve & Natalie were awes0me t0o, I think she's 3...)), Jack ((The RiNGBEARER! he was s0o adorable, and PERFECT at the wedding!!!)), Lauren ((Nicola's y0unger sister, wild as hell, crazy head of curls too. Was always running around naked with Emily.)), Tennyson ((Ali's best friend's s0n...d0n't ask where the name c0mes from, I had to stay away fr0m him...he had chicken pox)), Amelia ((Michelle & Neil's daughter, was a little demanding, but s0o sweet)), and Tristen ((Michelle & Neil's baby b0y...just ab0ut the sweetest thing EVERR!!!)) ". . .now that we're here its so far away. . . and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive. . . and i'm not ashambed to be the person that i am today. . ." ...THE WEDDiNG uMm...0kay. To put it bluntly, it was fucking awes0me. All the bridesmaids & their m0m's met at the Villa Nova ((hugely prestigious hotel, v. v. v. nice!)) Ali finished getting her hair and makeup done, so I had mine d0ne...0mfg, it was amazing. She did pin-curls...it looked so nice! It was all twisted up into itself...I have pictures, but it was so nice. Then we had pictures done, I had my own done, they had me doing this really weird pose like holding onto the balcony...was cute though. Then we went to the church...blah blah, I now pronounce you hubby and wifey. Dun Dun Dun Dun. Took L000ADS of pictures...was nice. Then we went to the beach for more pictures, had 2 glasses of champagne. Was niiice. Went back to the Villa Nova for the reception. Had about 4 more glasses of champagne on an empty stomach. Was lovely. I ended up asking my cousin Joe if he was going to propose to his girlfriend Dana, and if I could be in the wedding...I don't remember that. All got presents then too, well, the bridesmaid//Luke((stepc0usin, 13, blah)). I got a silver box with my name engraved, a necklace which I broke & am replacing t0morrow ((l0l)), a seph0ra gift card...and a bunch of knick-knacky things. w0o! We cut the cake...took a huge picture with everyone holding cigars ((l0l))...and then went back to the Gazebo for dancing. I got to dance with Daddy and all the little girls...and we just went wild. It was s0o0o fun!From then on...I was just lazing on the beach, buying jewelry from the guys who s0ld it on the beach fr0m their suitcases ((l0l)), and having drinks from the bar. Went scuba diving, parasailing, waterskiing and jetskiing. Was awesome! ". . .these are my words. . . that i've never said before. . . i think i'm doing okay. . . and this is the smile. . . that i've never shown before. . . Was all around FUN. yayayayay...am looking forward to hanging out with kelly, mich and chrissy and mev, because she just must come. And uh...I MISS MY MEGZ! I do I do I do-ooo! cha cha cha...DiET SUNKiST F0R LiFE m0n!!! *laughs* ". . .somebody shake me cuz i. . . i must be sleeping. . . [ch0rus repeats]. . ." went tanning after sch0ol today...used this YUMMMMMY bronzer. Smells delicious. . .!!! ". . .i'm so afraid of waking. . . please don't shake me. . . afraid of waking. . . please don't shake me. . ." You know what I hate? When pe0ple talk ab0ut you, and it's like, they're making fun of y0u, but not really. Yeah, well I just found out some people seem to think making fun of me is quite amusing... bah, feels like i have n0 friends anym0re. bah bah bah. ciao tutti. CHRiSSY<3 ant is my one true l0ve. chaaa. i looooove andrew. he's my little frodo. *grin* and i miss him bunches!!! 2 never said goodbyes // something isn't right here

. . . l0sing in the fall . . . [13 Oct 2003|05:04pm] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | Uh...ant is on the ph0ne playing some techno shit, s0o funny ] wh0aa...lottts to write abouttt...<33 "...November 10th , a cold dark night You could feel that something wasn't right. That night many hearts did cry When we learned we had to say goodbye..." ((uMm...yeah...using 'Stephen" because that band on friday ABS0LUTELY butchered ittt...)) 0kkkay...lets begin with the weekend, shall we? . . .FRiDAY. . . Went to KR0ME with all my l0veliesss...((kelly - mich - chrissy - mevvy))...and then met up with Andrew and Brad. NEM0 was AWES0MEEE!!! best band there...I guess s0me good things can come out of holmdel, hmm? Buttt...ummm...yes, Me and Kelly had a nice trip down memory lane when we saw a certain guy, actually, I was just remembering...and she was drooling. l0lll...anyways! Was a l0t of fun...and now onto saturday... . . . SATURDAY . . . UhH...picked up my dress from the seamstress ((Valentina)) in Cranbury...the dress looks awesome...but she took it in a little too much around the chest...so, no eating for me that day! Literally, around the waist it fits perfectly...and then when Ali was trying to zip it all the way up and fasten the hook...*p0p* the hook snapped off & Valentina had to sew it back on...was quite embarassing...she was like..."*ahem* most teenage girls...are not as...EEENDOWED as this one...i am sorrrrry it is tight around the cheeest..." was s0o embarassinggg...ahhh. l0l...uMm then I went to Bridgewater Commons with my Daddy, we had to buy Joe jr. a pen. It completely amazed me, this pen store. I consider myself pretty well-informed about most designers // what the going price for bags, clothes, etc is...but here I was in Paradise Pens, introduced to Writing Couture...seriously. My dad bought Joey a Mont Blanc...and it was $230...for a PEN! There were others, by like, Porsche and Dior...very nice...I tried to persuade him to buy me a $300 Aurora pen, from Italy, in PINK...with jewels on it...was s0o pretty. But seriously, they had pens for like $1200-$2000...and this one pen was $3000, completely engraved in silver, soo beautiful. My dad told me the office trick though, all the business men lay out their pens in meetings, therefore one skilled at 'knowing pens', would know a Mont Blanc from say, a Waterman. Okay, I'm a nerd, I'm SHUTTiNG UP AB0UT PENS...!!! Ahhh yes, then we had Wendy's for dinner because Ali was out for like 8 bazillion hours at the mall. Weird thing, I told Daddy I needed sunglasses, and he said, "There was a store in the mall selling all designer brands..." I was shocked. My own father, BUYING me some designer apparel? I always left that to mommie. Maybe he's getting hip? Now only to con him into taking me into Bloomingdales // Neiman to cruise the FCUK section...or the D&G section with the Black card...*grin* . . . SUNDAY . . . wh0aa...thought I lost my ID...ended up getting shit from Daddy about blocking out my weight..."TAMPERING WITH LEGAL DOCUMENTS"...okkk...got called an idiot, and a moron. Cried, then got called overly sensitive. W0NDERFUL! I actually have a backbone with my dad sometimes, I yell back, I don' sit there and let him yell till he's blue in the face. At least sometimes. So then he ame like pounding on my door, as he always does when he's trying to be funny...and he said I had to make dinner. D0UBLE W0NDERFUL...s0o...I made fish for him and Ali and he grilled me some Salmon...we had vegetables, rice and crab cakes. Was very good, if I do say so myself...So then! He was taking me home, and I asked him if I could get a Barbados sweatshirt, and a puka shell necklace while we're there and he said "You can have anything you want, Chris..."...My dad must be getting hip-er...l0ll... "...All embraced under one common song the body is dead but life lives on. Good-bye Stephen. Good-bye you friend. You were so young..." yes'm. I'm getting my nails done at 6. w0o. yayness. Can't go tanning till tomorrow, before I get my hair blown out nice and straight. Arrr, I hope I'm not like PALE tomorrow, l0l...All yall are gonna be jealous, I'll be nice and tan when I come back...yessss...and if Mom lets me, I'll keep it up at the tanning saloooon!! w0o... "...The Cars lined the streets, as it was coming to an end. The sun shined so brightly the day we buried our friend..." Mommie got me a new coach bag. I liiiike ittt! It's blue suede. Yesss...!!! Uhhh...I NEED TO BE TANNER...yes yes yesss!!! uhhh... "...Losing in the fall, lost innocence came down An 18 year old boy was buried in the ground. A family's broken hearts, a friend's streaming tears. The light lost in death, the living's growing fears..." 0H YES! I G0T AN 84 0N MY GE0 QUIZ...which is insanely good for me! yay for chrissy! "...Of Eternal darkness or is it spiritual light to come with terms with death on the darkest night. A brother lost a brother, a friend lost a friend, a mother lost a son but stephen's soul will never end..." ummm...ANTH0NY IN 2 DAYSSS!!! can't fucking wait!!! should be absolutely AWES0ME...even though he's only staying for 2 days...but STILL!!! *dances* "...(You were so young) (Good-bye) A brother lost a brother, a friend lost a friend, a mother lost a son but stephen's soul will never end..." uMm...L0VE THAT S0NG...L0VE SENSES FAIL...!!! yEss...I'll update and stuff bef0re I leave! ((I'm buying presents while I'm thereee...0oh yesss!!!)) ciao tutti CHRiSSY<3 twinkles // carmela <3 I L0VE MEGZ 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

until i hear it fr0m y0u... [05 Oct 2003|07:38pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | In My Dreams -- Robert Miles...most calming song everr... ] w0w...I'm starting to get insanely nervous. sono nervosa. This whole wedding thing...it's really...I don't know...!!! BUT! Here's my dress!!! w0o! and the colour Aqua/Lilac "...I didn't ask They shouldn't have told me At first I'd laugh, but now It's sinking in fast Whatever they've sold me..." Hmm...t0day. Me and Chrissy went over Andrew ((aka Frodo))'s house, to hangout with Frodo and Brad. I think I really like Andrew. *grin* "...Well baby I don't want to take advice from fools I'll just figure everything is cool Until I hear it from you..." Hmmm...yeah. I just watched Carnivale...that show is so awesome. And so is Nick Stahl. *double grin*. No, but really, if you've never watched that show I suggest you do. However...it will never beat Sex and the City...which is my #1 favourite show evererererrr...!!! "...It gets hard The memory's faded Who gets what they say It's likely they're just jealous and jaded..." Hey, guess what happens in 72 days, 1 hour and like 40 minutes? Ummm...Return of the King comes out...since I'm 1. a loser. 2. obsessed with that movie. 3. Orlando is in it...I have a countdown going on my cellphone. Oh yess...l0l...HEY! since I'm all spiffy with my links, Look at the places we'll be going to / staying at in St. James ((BARBAD0S...<3)) The reception takes place here... The Spa we're going to on the 17th... The picture on the left is what our "cottages" that we're staying in look like. I think for the rooms theres like 3 suites, 2 bedrooms each, I believe. I dunno. I'll be able to tell once I actually get there. *grin* "...Well maybe I don't want to take advice from fools I'll just figure everything is cool Until I hear it from you Until I hear it from you..." Ahhh! Mommie said I'm allowed to get my hair straightened. Like, thermally reconditioned. But...She said I can only have it if I get an A in geometry. So, I'm going to have to whine. Because, I always get my way when I do that. =) <33 !!!!!!!!!! MANOLO FOR CHRISSY. teehee...more shoes. Courtesy of Devil Woman. I think she's trying to buy me off...psssh...I'll never like her, no matter how many pairs of $500 shoes she buys me. Well. There IS that Dolce belt I want...ahhh. l0l. "...I can't let it get me off Or break up my train of thought As far as I know, nothing's wrong Until I hear it from you..." I'm really starting to wonder. If holmdel really is better than WW. Because, if you ask me, most Holmdel people have so much shoved up their ass it's starting to poke their brains. Dunno. I love living here and all...but really, I don't exactly know if I like school here THAT much better...!!! arrrrr. "...Still thinking about not living without it Outside looking in Til we're talking about it, not stepping around it Maybe I don't want to take advice from fools I'll just figure everything is cool Until I hear it from you..." yes. Well, enough from the mind of Chrissy. I'm off to have some watermelon that my mommie bought me. yayness. ciao tutti CHRiSSY<3 aka...twinkles // carmela <3 megz. NEED DV14...wtf!!! taking s0o lonnngg!!! tony. you are insane...but i love you endlessly. ((dolce e gabbana 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

i can't say i blame y0u n0w... [03 Oct 2003|04:08pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | In My Dreams -- Robert Miles. ] hiii <3 "...You called to say you wanted out Well, I can't say I blame you now Sometimes you've got to fold vefore you're found out Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself 'Cause now that I can see you I don't think you're worth a second glance..." SURVEYNESS<333 Right Now: What clothes are you wearing? h0llister jeans, bebe t0p, planet h0llywood l0ndon fleece jacket-y thing What shoes are you wearing? socks. What make-up do you have on? just m0isturizer What jewelry are you wearing? turqu0ise drop necklace i g0t in FL How is your hair styled? sectioned & clipped with little clips & up, with a ratty mop hanging off the back. Clothes: How would you describe your style? expensive. (megz). but um, I'm preppy. about as preppy as y0u can get... What do you usually wear? jeans, a nice top and maybe a jacket... What article of clothing have you outgrown but wish you hadn't? ...th0se black bebe cords I had...molto comodo! This or That: --- jeans, capris, or shorts? jeans --- bikini briefs, string bikini, or thong? i'm assuming y0u mean underwear? th0ng... --- t-shirt or fitted tee? fitted. --- jacket or hoodie? jacket. --- pants or dress? depends on the 0ccasion...<3 --- striped or plaid? plaid...burberry...!!! --- spaghetti strap or tank? b0th... --- sports bra or cupped bra? ...me in a sp0rts bra?! AHAHAHA... --- long-sleeves or short sleeves? l0ng... --- tight-fitting or loose? s0mewhere in between / tight --- american eagle or abercrombie? ABERCR0MBIE!!! Favorites: Clothing Store: bebe, abercr0mbie, french c0nnection, n0rdstroms, wisteria, nirvana, neiman, vict0ria's secret & h0llister... Clothing Brand: bebe, abercrombie, & fcuk Pants You Own: my bebe jeans are really c0mfy...but i l0ved the black c0rds...*sniffle* Dress You Own: my BRIDESMAID dress...s0o pretty! And either the Denim Chloe dress or the Pink dress Ali b0ught me from Coc0 Pari... Top You Own: my pink fcuk 0ne <3 Outfit: ...uh? Shoes: This or That: --- sneakers or boots? sneakers --- flat or heeled? like, sh0es? well. I'd prefer l0w heels...I'm already 5'8"...but th0se manolos...they're like, 3.5"... --- strappy sandals or flip-flops? B0TH! --- Nike or Adidas? ...ew, neither. --- Steve Madden or Dr. Marten? umm it's DOC marten...but yeah. I dunno,. b0th i guess. --- Converse or Vans? vans. Do you own any: --- Converse? n0o --- Docs? YES --- Steve Maddens? slippers. --- Tommy? yes... --- Nikes? No --- Adidas? n0pe --- Reebok? No --- Vans? No --- LEI? ...n0 --- Skechers? yes --- Mudd? ...HATE MUDD! --- Candies? n0o --- Timberland? n0o --- Air Force Ones? yes, I have the limited editi0n valentines 0nes...which i never wear... make-up: Do you wear any of the following, and of so, what kind? eyeshadow: wear them rarely...when I d0 it's usually BeneFit sh0w-0ffs...I have every col0ur...=P Lipstick/Lip Gloss: BeneFit, Clinique, Chanel, Hard Candy & MAC...I g0 f0r clears / neutrals / pinks Foundation: n0pe. Eyeliner: Clinique shading pencil in Pewter / BeneFit BadGal Mascara: Maybelline GreatLash...has and will be AROUND F0REVER...and bad gal by BeneFit Blush: Yes. NARS in Orgasm. Powder: Pressed stuff by BeneFit & m0mmie's br0nzer...I think it's Yves Saint Laurent? Nail Polish: chanel, anything they use in the nail place. Which celebrity has the best make-up style? resse withersp0on... How old were you when you first started wearing make-up? twelve. Must you always wear make-up? ...f0r the most part. I skip the p0wder/ c0verup when I'm tan...and I'm getting there / will be by the end of the m0nth!!! Favorite make-up brands: BeneFit, Clinique, MAC & YSL Jewelery: What jewelry do you wear every day? tiffanys bracelet, watch, pink and white diam0ndy tennis bracelet thingie...that my daddy gave my m0mmie... Favorites: type of jewelry: bracelet / necklaces ring: my 0ne I'm getting f0r christmasss earrings: the pink/silver dangly 0nes from April Cornell 0r the 3 ho0ps I've been wearing in each ear... bracelet: tiffanys 0ne... necklace: my tiffany's 0ne THAT I'M GETTING F0R CHRISTMAS. w0o! other: ...? How many piercings do you have? 3 in each ear & navel Do you have any tattoos? n0pe, want 0ne though... Do you have any significant jewelry (i.e. a promise ring, jewelry that has been passed down in your family)? I have my m0's engagement ring that she g0t for her anniversary when we lived in england...it's diam0nd and like 3 carats...set in platinum. I hid it th0ugh...she's still l0oking for it t0 thr0w away...=( Is any of your jewelry real gold, diamond, or silver? yepp...m0st is real. Do you use any of the following?: --- blow-dryer: when I bl0w out my hair... --- straightening iron: when I straighten the fr0 --- curling iron: s0metimes... --- relaxer: they're f0r ethnic hair, right? so n0... Hair Products: --- shampoo: s0 straight, herbal essence (Biodegradable...reminds me 0f CAMP!!!), Frederic Fekkai --- hair spray: Thermasilk, Frederic Fekkai --- hair gel/mousse: arTEC textureLINE --- hair dye: ...i d0n't dye my 0wn hair, are y0u craaazy?! --- others: <3 "...So much for all the promises you made, they served you well Now you're gone and they're wasted on me So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well Now it's just worn and wasted on me I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get..." ~ Dashb0ard -- Rapid Hope Loss mwaaa<3 CHRiSSY<3 carmela<3 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

Certain as the sun... [01 Oct 2003|07:30pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | oh yes. Luna Pop -- 50 Special. Davide's song!!! LDB o3<3 ] I was just thinking...I've realized why I'm dreading this wedding. "...Tale as old as time True as it can be Barely even friends Than somebody bends Unexpectedly..." I wish more people could relate. My dad is marrying someone other than my mother. Someone who I can never truly say is related to me. My father is closing the chapter in his life that includes my mother. The chapter that includes me. So does that make me forgotten? What happens when my dad and Ali have another kid? I'll be the forgotten one. I've always been Daddy's Princess. And everyone knows, I'm Daddy's girl. My dad favoured me so much over my sister. But now...that is all going to change. Yeah yeah, I know. I'm going away to college in 3 years, but still. I'm supposed to be the youngest. And the apple of my daddy's eye. Not someone else. "...Just a little change Small, to say the least Both a little scared Neither one prepared Beauty and the Beast..." No one can relate. All my friends have both parents. And when I see them fighting with them, saying how they would leave if they could. And "Oh, I wish my parents would get a divorce." No you fucking don't. No one even realizes. I miss having my parents together so much it makes me sick to my stomach. Seeing my Dad with Alison makes me want to cry...and half the time I do. Its insane. I'm so tired of this...All I ever do is worry, and the closer that October 18th gets, the sicker I start to feel. That's exactly why I'm sick. I'm worrying myself sick. Literally throwing-up, headache, fever-sick. Maybe I'm just overreacting. "...Ever just the same Ever a surprise Ever as before Ever just as sure As the sun will arise..." Happier note. Happier note. I had a nice long talk with Kelly today, she always makes me feel better, even when she doesn't realize it. "EEEHHH!!!" "EEEHHH!!!" -- Famous Last Words. Anyways, I am hanging out with THE C00LEST GUY EVERRR on Saturday. w0o Andrew!!! Oh yes, and I am officially Mike Fulchetti's "Sophomore Lover", and he has "so many lovers" but I'm the only Sophomore one. *dies laughing* "...Tale as old as time Tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange Finding you can change Learning you were wrong..." 2 more days and I have a break. Seriously, I am so sick. I can't even keep my head up. It's all this worrying. The only relief I have is the 10 minutes I get to sleep in the tanning bed. ((Because I need to get some sort of colour on me before Barbados...Don't want to go Ghostly and come back Lobstery.)) Arrr...I'm starving. oh oh. MEGZ Y0U HAVE T0 G0!!! You'll have so much fuuuun. *grin* Anth0ny...you are N0T getting the sweatshirt back. EVER. It is mine. Gives me a hug from you everytime I wear it. and, um, YAYNESS THAT Y0U'RE C0MING F0R BARBAD0S...0nly 2 days though...but STILL!!! So happy everything is BACK T0 N0RMAL...me without you is like D0LCE WITH0UT GABBANA!!! *gasp* the h0rr0r!!! glad to be back. *grin grin grin* me and t were fighting. because he's a penis. but i love him lots. *HEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEE* water is making me hyper. "...Certain as the sun Rising in the east Tale as old as time Song as old as rhyme Beauty and the beast... *dances* Sex and the City is on right now. So I'm going to watch it. Wo0o0o0o...*c0ugh* CHRiSSY<3 "He talks like you shop" -- Megz. Hes a big // obsessive // compulsive // insane talker, eh? l0l. G0 G0 G0!!! ...yes, I'm d0ne<3... xx 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

... [23 Sep 2003|04:07pm] [ music | THE JULiANA THE0RY<3 ((my bandddd)) ] ...this is s0o gay, I need to re-do my blurty. Let me figure out how to do this shiettt... ...lma0 can s0meone help meeeeeeee?... 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

y0u said *n0* star was 0ut 0f reach... [20 Sep 2003|09:50pm] [ music | Going Under -- Evanescence ] FiRST AND F0REM0ST... anth0ny. THANKY0U. That conversati0n just made me burst into tears: FL x PaPi: chrissy. I care about you too much to see you like this! It's insane for you to be doing this to yourself! Sweet Huni Babi: No. I have grounds for it, and I have a reason!!! FL x PaPi: chrissy. YOU ARE NOT FAT. god damnit. You're UPSETTING me, I love you more than anything in the world and to see you doing this shit is absolutely heart breaking. I don't know what makes you think this way... Sweet Huni Babi: I hate being the 'fat one' FL x PaPi: Nobody has ever called you that, and if they have they sure as hell didn't mean it. You are NORMAL, chrissy. It isn't attractive being waif-like and ultra-skinny. It makes girls look starved, and most of the time, THEY ARE. Sweet Huni Babi: why do you care so much. FL x PaPi: YOU'RE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND. And just knowing that you're there and I'm here, and I can't be next to you, beating you senseless, because you are seeing something that no one else does. Sweet Huni Babi: I see a fat girl. That's what I fucking see in the mirror. FL x PaPi: And do you know what I see when I look at you? My beautiful best friend. The one who doesn't care what others think of her. The carefree and awesome chrissy. Who gets just about every guy she wants. Sweet Huni Babi: do you really think that? FL x PaPi: I've never lied to you, why start now? ...HE iS FUCKING AMAZING <3 ... guys TAKE LESS0NS... "...For all those times you stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true ..." yeah. I haven't d0ne much today. I d0n't feel well. I was freezing last night t0o. Ohh...last night. I went to Red Bank with Kelly, Tina and Michele. Uhhh...met up with Brad. Hung out with him for a little while. Then went back to Riverside and met up with my chickies again. With the addition of Fluffy, Andy and Sal. Fluffy and Sal were drunk. Hmmm...me and Tina went to Starbucks to get something to drink...and met up with CHRiSSYx2!!! Hmmm...went back to Riverside...and Fluffy's REALLY REALLY hott friend Matt was there. whoaa...he's hot. lol. Somehow Me, Kelly and Tina ended up in 7-11...went back to Riverside. Had a 'serious' conv0 with Tina...i l0ve her s0o much & I hate to see her upset...she's my MINI ME. damn straight. "...For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through through it all..." yeah. I d0n't feel well. I haven't felt well all m0nth. And I kn0w exactly why. I wish I had some0ne to talk to. I don't think any0ne would understand. They'd all get mad at me. Well, n0t all. But a l0t. I'll tell them, s0meday. "...You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach..." My m0m got a new puppy today. Named *HiM* Guiness. After the other puppy. Oh, d0n't know If I said this before...my mom found the 0ther puppy's owner & gave her back. Which is an h0nourable thing to d0...anyway. New puppy. He's all...small and fat. S000 cute!!! hmm. I think maybe I like s0meone in my school. I dunno. I d0ubt it. Most Holmdel guys are c0cksuckers. And they do it f0r free, which makes it w0rse. ughhh. Am s0o sick of guys in general. It's sad to see h0w a L0T of girls I know base their lives ar0und guys. They should take less0ns from me and smelly. H0ES F0R LIFE...lolll...<3 "...You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me You gave me wings and made me fly You touched my hand I could touch the sky I lost my faith, you gave it back to me You said no star was out of reach..." I feel so weird. Especially like, since last night. I feel like s0mething is WR0NG...and I don't like that feeling. It's pr0bably that ominous...f0reboding I'm feeling. I don't want my dad to get married anym0re. I don't want to leave in less than a m0nth. *tear* "...You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all I'm grateful for each day you gave me Maybe I don't know that much But I know this much is true I was blessed because I was loved by you..." I d0n't have much else to wriiite...!!! "...You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me..." WHY DID I CH00SE SUCH A L0NG S0NG...!!! "...You were always there for me The tender wind that carried me A light in the dark shining your love into my life You've been my inspiration Through the lies you were the truth My world is a better place because of you..." By the waayyy...this s0ng is dedicated to all my friends. No. Actually, it's not. I lied. It's f0r the REAL friends. The 0ne's who are TRULY there f0r me, through night and day, rain 0r shine. And believe me, I can c0unt those on a hand and a half. Maybe less. "...You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me..." I'm s0o mad at my mom right now. MAD MAD MAD. bah! ((SHE'S GETTiNG WEiRD AGAiN...)) "...You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me..." I hate this. arrrr...s0ng be 0VER ALREADY!!! "...I'm everything I am Because you loved me..." *applause* CHRiSSY<3 carmela cia0 cia0 *lag0 del b0sco* COME VORREi ESSERE NEL LAG0 DEL B0SC0!!! I'm wearing my targeta right n0w, my LDB pe0ple =(. I missss y0u guys. s0o much, it's INSANE...!!! next summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... kelly is on a b0at right n0w. ahahaha...lol 4 never said goodbyes // something isn't right here

SURVEYSSS [19 Sep 2003|04:02pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Boys Of Summer -- The Ataris ] SURVEY TiME...w0o...b0red on a friday aftern0ooon...lol <3 "...Twenty-six years and seems like I've just begun To understand my, my intimate is no one When the director sold the show, who bought its last rites? They cut the cast, the music, and the lights..." I AM: a girl. obsessed with the colour pink. in l0ve with 0rlando Bloom. I WANT: a b0yfriend. 0kay, maybe I d0n't... I HAVE: a st0mach ache right now...owieee I WISH: i could just get that 0minous day over withhh... I HATE: i d0nt. I don't hate things. Hate is far t0o str0ng a word. I MISS: anth0ny I FEAR: spiders, the dark, loneliness, peanut butter and skunks. I HEAR: AFI! I SEARCH: f0r a decent guy I WONDER: what the futute h0lds I REGRET: haha, a l0ttt... I LOVE: my family & friends // 0rli // Shag00z I ACHE: in my st0mach. I ALWAYS: w0rry too much. I AM NOT: a b0y. I DANCE: every chance I get. I SING: 0n the phone with kelly, especially when I don't know the w0rds! I CRY: a l0t. I AM NOT ALWAYS: thinking I WRITE: iny journal I WIN: y0ur heart *grin* I LOSE: l0ts of stuff, I'm a KLUTZZZ... I CONFUSE: myself. I NEED: to be l0veddd... I SHOULD: regret the thinigs I said to my daddy. But I don't. ha. "...This is my line, this is eternal How did I ever end up here? Discarnate, preternatural My prayers to disappear Absent of grace, marked as infernal Ungranted in dead time left me disowned To this nature, so unnatural I remain alone..." M0RE SURVEYNESS <3 "...Give me something, give me something Give me something, give me something Give me something, give me something real..." What clothes are wearing? light blue jeans & a pink l0ng sleeve bebe shirt. What shoes are you wearing? n0ne...i'm inside! What make-up do you have on? coverup, powder, eyeliner, mascara & lip gloss What jewelry are you wearing? my mom's pink and white diamond tennis bracelet thing, return to tiffanys bracelet, watch & 4 bracelets fr0m camp! How is your hair styled? up in this shitty bun. I didn't even really style it this m0rning... "...I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle Everyday another small piece can't be found I lay strewn across the floor, pieced up in sorrow The pieces are lost, these pieces don't fit Pieced together incomplete and empty..." *CL0THES; How would you describe your style? i'm like, as preppy as y0u can get... What do you usually wear? jeans and a t0p. What article of clothing have you outgrown but wish you hadn't? d0n't really know? If you could raid any celebrity's closet, whose would it be? reese withersp0on!!! "...This is my line, this is eternal How did I ever end up here? Discarnate, preternatural My prayers to disappear Absent of grace, marked as infernal Ungranted in dead time left me disowned To this nature, so unnatural I remain alone..." *THIS OR THAT; --- jeans, capris, or shorts? jeans --- t-shirt or fitted tee? fitted tee --- jacket or hoodie? ho0die --- pants or dress? pants --- denim or corduroy? denim // c0rds s0metimes... --- striped or plaid? plaid = burberry...<3 --- sleeveless or with sleeves? sleeves --- halter or tube top? halter. Tuve t0ps always l0ok weird on me... --- spaghetti strap or tank? tank --- long-sleeves or short sleeves? l0ng --- tight-fitting or loose? tight --- simple or outrageous? simple --- american eagle or abercrombie? abercr0mbie! --- hot topic or gadzooks? neither. --- Mudd or LEI? neither!!! --- JCPenney or Sears? ...neither --- Belk's or Dillards? ...what? --- The Buckle or Pacific Sunwear? PacSun "...This is my line, this is eternal How did I end up here? Discarnate, preternatural My prayers to disappear Absent of grace, marked as infernal Ungranted in dead time left me disowned To this nature, so unnatural I remain alone..." *FAVORITES; --- Clothing Store: abercr0mbie, bebe, n0rdstr0m, neiman & macys --- Clothing Brand: bebe, fcuk & abercrombie --- Pants You Own: my light blue hollister ones that are too long or my jl0 ones... --- Dress You Own: my bridesmaid dress. As much as I want to hate it, it's s0o fuckin pretty. --- Top You Own: my pink fcuk shirt <3 --- Outfit: the day bef0re the wedding 0utfit...white fl0od pants fr0m ae, blue abercr0mbie tankt0p, ali's LV murakami bag that I'm b0rrowingg...and the blue flip flops from abercr0mbie --- Shoes: my pink gallaz. need a new paaaairrr... *THIS OR THAT; --- sneakers or boots? sneakers --- comfy and ugly or uncomfortable but cute? unc0mfortable but cute! --- flat or heeled? heeled --- strappy sandals or flip-flops? b0th<3 --- Nike or Adidas? neitherr --- Steve Madden or Dr. Marten? Doc Martens are s0o awes0me, I used to 0wn like everrry shoe they made...any everything steve madden makes is heeled, and I'm tall en0ugh, lol. --- Converse or Vans? Vans *FAVORITES; --- shoe store: PacSun --- shoe brand: Gallaz & Etnies --- sneakers you own: s0o many. --- dress shoes you own: the wedding party stillett0s, they're lilac with rhinest0nes...yummyyy... --- sandals you own: the wedding flip flops. They have aqua straps on them, and the flip flop thing goes around your toe and there's a sequin starfish. I l0vvee...they're BCBGirls ((Max Azria)) *DO YOU OWN ANY; --- Converse? n0 --- Docs? yah. --- Steve Maddens? yah. --- Tommy? sh0es? yes. --- Nikes? yah. --- Adidas? yah. --- Reebok? n0pe --- Vans? yah. --- LEI? eww n0 --- Skechers? n0o --- Mudd? NO, HATE MUDD. --- Candies? yah. --- Timberland? n0o. --- Air Force Ones? I'm preppy... *MAKE~UP; DO YOU WEAR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING? --- Eyeshadow: n0t usually. --- Lipstick/Lip Gloss: beauty staple! --- Foundation: n0pe --- Eyeliner: everyday! -- Clinique in Pewter --- Mascara: everyday! -- Chanel or Maybelline --- Blush: usually -- Nars in Orgasm --- Powder: ya -- BeneFit in Medium --- Nail Polish: 0nly when I have acrylics. *RANDOME MAKE~UP QUESTIONS; Which celebrity has the best make-up style? reese, she's s0o beautiful! How old were you when you first started wearing make-up? 13 Must you always wear make-up? yahh Do you think you look prettier with make-up on? what girl d0esn't. lol. Favorite make-up brands: BeneFit, Clinique, Hard Candy, MAC, Urban Decay & Chanel CHRiSSY<3 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

whats wr0ng with my life t0day... [18 Sep 2003|05:45pm] survey i st0le fr0m s0me random pers0n...<33 "...Wanna love ya Wanna bug ya Wanna squeeze ya Stupid girl..." *...Weight <<-- How much do you weigh? ahaha...n0t telling. Are you happy with your weight? hmm...i kn0w I'm n0t necessarily 'fat' but I want to l0se weight...and yes, I've been eating s0o much better and stufffss =) How much would you like to weigh? aboutt...115-120, which is the least you can weigh for my height without being classified as underweight... Are you too skinny? n0pe... Are you too fat? I feel like it...but I kn0w I'm n0t... What do others think of your weight? Every0ne always yells at me when I say I'm fat, lol. "...Wanna touch ya, Wanna take ya, Wanna shut ya, Stupid girl. I can't take this, Born to break this..." *...Hair <<-- What colour is your hair? w0w...what a questi0n. It's naturally light light brown // dirty bl0nde... Is it dyed? HELL YES! Theres like 4 shades 0f blonde...s0me caramel...w0o rainbow hair. How long is your hair? my sh0ulders Are you happy with your hair? hmmm...s0metimes. What would be the best colour for your hair? the way I have it...maybe bl0nder for the summmer What would be the best length? l0nger...about 1-2 inches above my elbows. What would be the best style? well...curly I wear with a side part...and straight I wear it parted down the middle with the ends curled under or just dead flat... Do you have facial hair? um...n0? Do you have underarm hair? nooo Do you have pubic hair? nooo Do you have leg hair? n0o...I hate that feeling of like, prickley-ness... Do you have hair anywhere else? uhh...on my head?? Do you shave any hair? yes. Do you wax any hair? n0pe. "...She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? Stupid girl, Stupid girl..." *...Eyes <<-- What colour are your eyes? blue ((i'm full 0f air...)) Do you wear glasses? n0 Do you wear contacts? n0pe I want to get the 0nes for 'light eyes' to make them a m0re pastel blue. It'll match better with my 0utfits. Do you want contacts? I want to get the 0nes for 'light eyes' to make them a m0re pastel blue. It'll match better with my 0utfits. Do you want glasses? n0pe. What colour do you want your eyes? a pastel/ice blue. Are your eyes tiny? n0pe. Are your eyes big? n0pe Do you have frog eyes? when I cry I have like frog eyes the size of like, m0ntana. Can you pop your eyes outta they're sockets like that guy on tv? haha...alex can! "... I'm a loner, I'm a loser, I'm a winner, In my mind. I'm a bad one, I'm a good one, I'm a sick one, With a smile..." *...Height <<-- How tall are you? 5'8" Do you ever wear platforms? n0pe. Do you ever wear high heels or stillettoes? 0ccasi0nally, s0me of my sh0es for Barbad0s are stilleto // high heels. Do you like your height? n0pe. Do you wish you were taller? NO Do you wish you were shorter? yess Is your torso long? uh, never th0ught about it? Are your legs long? yes Are you the same height or taller/shorter than your current sugnificant other? -skip- "...I can't take this, Born to break this..." *... Do you like your <<-- Legs? my calves are g0od, n0t the thighs though...n0t many people have ever seen me in sh0rts... Arms? um, sure? Ears? sure. If they had m0re piercings than definatly. Head shape? yep. Toes? um, sure. Fingers? n0o! "... She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? Stupid girl, Stupid girl..." *...Breasts <<-- How big are your boobs? 36C Do you like them? no. Do you wish they were bigger? NO Do you wish they were smaller? m0st of the time. Has anyone ever touched them sexually? 0oh n0o...I'm prrruuddee...lol, 0f course. "... [acoustic break] Stupid girl, Stupid girl (whoa) She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? She's going away, (She's going away) What's wrong with my life today? Stupid girl, Stupid girl..." real entry this time!!! *dance* 0okay. I've been in sch0ol almost 2 weeks. It's n0t that bad...D0N'T GET ME WR0NG...holmdel is full of stuck up bitches with gucci out their asses, but hey, it's stuff y0u have to deal with...!!! actuaallyyy...i dunno. it's nice to be ar0und the people i KN0W...and have kn0wn since like 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade...blah... the 0ne thing about holmdel that will *never* change is the competition. It's like "oh my g0d...my c0ach bag was only $158...and hers was $178! I have to go buy one that's $200!" And I was thinking. Do the guys really know the difference between like, a shirt from bebe and a shirt from aeropostale? A pair of Frankie B's or Sevens from a pair of Mudd or LEI? A coach bag from a candies bag? Most likely n0t. Seems kind of funny the way guys and girls differ. The guys spend a lot on material stuff...like MP3 players, Xbox, video games and such...and there's us girls. The bebe/fcuk/diesel/guess shirts, the Seven/Silver/Frankie B/bebe jeans, The coach/gucci/fendi bags, hair, nails, etc...f0r guys wh0 like, d0n't even notice. I'M N0T DEFAMING THE BEAUTIFICATION PR0CESS...lol, ask any 0f my friends, I'm always worried about how I look, my clothes, I'm meticulous about my hair and all that. But seriously, do the guys even KN0W? lol. I always w0ndered what going to an all girls sch0ol would be like...I'd never go though. It'd be fucking psycho. And full of bull dykes. And lesbians. And girls who c0uld pass f0r guys...oh wait. Holmdel already has a few of them...YEEUUCCHH... yah. I should go get kicking on my h0mework. And eat some dinner. yah. CHRiSSY<3 carmela<3 and a big hug to my smuffles, I h0pe she's feeling better & i <3 herrrr ........................................................................................................................ something isn't right here

survey time [13 Sep 2003|11:18pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | ...But Home is Nowhere -- AFI ] an0ther p0intless survey<3 "...Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything Or were you sent to save me? I've thought too much, you won't find anything... Worthy of redeeming..." -->> Basics <<-- Full Name: Christine Castellano. Birthday: June 26th, 1988 Location: Holmdel, NJ School/Mascot/Colors: HHS . Hawk . blue g0ld and white...right? Zodiac Sign: cancer Shoe Size: 9 f0r shoes...10 f0r like sneakers... Height: 5'8" Pets: cats. s0on a d0ggie<3 Siblings: 0lder sister. Eye color: blue Hair color: br0wn...naturally...but highlighted blondeish... Grade: 10th Hobbies: friends // ph0ne // c0mputer // g0ing out... Nicknames: Chrissy, Chris, PauLa, Smushkin, Weiner, Blondie, Asheem, Carmela...the list is endless... Do you play sports? used t0 Where were you born? cedar gr0ve, NJ Are you a night or a morning person? NiGHT...!!! Are you ticklish? YES...!!! Do you believe in God? n0t really. "...Yo he esta-do agui muchas veces antes y regreso..." -->> Getting Personal <<-- What do you want to be when you grow up? a hair stylist // fashi0n designer // children's auth0r // w0rk for my daddie What was the worst day of your life? there's been a few...in the w0rds of my m0ther "y0u've been thr0ugh and had t0 deal with m0re stuff in the past 3 years than m0st people have to by the thime they're 30..." the m0st recent was last night... What is your most embarrassing story? definatly "B00M" at kelly's...in like 5th grade..."iM ALiVE...!!!" What has been the best day of your life? I've had a l0t of g0od ones... What comes first in your life? friends // family Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? n0 b0yfriend...as f0r a 'crush'...i kind 0f do...but n0 one kn0ws...seriousllyy...n0t even kelly... What are you most scared of? in 0rder...t0p 5...spiders, the dark, peanut butter, spiders and being al0ne...n0o joke... If you had an extra set of eyes were would you put them? in the back 0f my head...!!! What do you usually think about before you go to bed? a l0t...it usually prevents me from falling asleep at any reas0nable time... "...To... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away..." -->> About your friends <<-- Who's your funniest friend? kelly, megz & t0ny Who makes you laugh most? same as ab0ve Who do you E-mail most? my daddie. Who's your meanest friend? the meanest? anth0ny. he's such a bastard. but I l0ve him m0re than anythiiinggg...<33 Who's the loudest? HAHA KELLY! Who's the shyest? pr0bably me. ((I bet a l0t of you are laughing...)) Who's the smartest? uh. stupidity is what keeps us t0gether. Who's the wildest? smelly, me and dani. Who's your best friend? Kelly & Tony Who do you go for girl/guy advice? kelly is ALWAYS there when all the shit g0es down...like last night...*ahem*...but anth0ny is there t0 reassure me...UNC0NDiTi0NALLY<3...and megz is there to put a smile 0n my face ALWAYS... Who knows all your secrets? kelly and t0ny could ruin me // blackmail the SHiT 0ut of mee... Who's the prettiest? kelly & tee...and t0ny...my beautiful pe0ple <3 Who's your cutest girl/guy friend? cute as in dorky sweet? dani. she's such a neerrrdd...l0l<3 Who's the most understanding? meeeee. Who's the most honest? ...l0l, n0ne of us... "...Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy So what befalls the flawless? Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully Now watch as it destroys me.." -->> Favorites <<-- Movie: <3L0TR: Fellowship & Tw0 Towers<3, Harry Potter: SS & CoC, Pirates of the Carribean, Black Hawk Down, Cruel Intentions, EMPiRE REC0RDS, The Secret 0f Nimh, Will0w, Steel Magnolias, The Fifth Element & The G00NiES... Song: changes a l0t...right now...they're: "From the Inside" -- LP, "...But Home is Nowhere" -- AFI, "The Leaving Song pt II" -- AFI & "Perfect" -- Simple Plan Relative: m0mmie & daddie. Sport: f0otball ((SUPERB0WL PARTIES...HELLL YESSS...l0l)), gymnastics & figure skating Vacation Spot: l0nd0n...& I can't lie...I'm l0oking f0rward to BARBAD0S...n0t for the cause though...the wedding is g0ing to be s0o...sad. Ice Cream Flavor: im lact0se intolerant...but low cal vanilla, low cal coffee & cookie d0ugh... Fruit: ohhh l0ve fruit! DEFINATLY oranges & GREEN grapes. Watermelon, Cantaloupe, Bananas, Pears & Apples Candy: Milky Way. Car: a NEW mustang =P at y0u brad... Class: english & lunch. Holiday: christmas. Day of the Week: friday & saturday Color: PiNK! Magazine: seventeen // glam0ur // c0smo "...Y regreso agui otra vez y comienzo..." -->>In the Past 24 Hours have You <<-- Had a serious talk? yes. with tim. he's awes0me... Hugged someone? YES. l0ts of hugs. Fought with a friend? n0pe. Cried? 0H YES...last night...w0www...was like, everything from the last 2 weeks just came fl0oding out...right on t0p of all the shit with brad... Laughed? yeah. Made someone laugh? yepp. Bought something? yah. Cut your hair? n0pe. Felt stupid? n0pe. Talked to someone you love? yes. Missed someone? everyday I missed my ANTH0NY m0re & m0re <3 "...To... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away..." -->> Have you Ever <<-- Done drugs? um... Eaten an entire box of oreos? n0. I get sick after like 5... Been dumped? 0nce or twice... Had someone be unfaithful to you? um, n0t that I kn0w of. l0l. I'm sure there have been. Watched punky Brewster? n0pe Hiked a mountain? n0pe Stayed home on Saturday night, just because? well gee, what am I d0ing right now? Been in love? just 0nce...and...ughhhh Seen the White house? 0nce Seen the Eiffel tower? yeppp! Tried smoking? um... Drank alcohol? HAHAHA...yesss... Smoked marijuana? um... Played monopoly? 0f course? Seen Titanic? YES. I used to l0000ve that movie... Kissed someone? *gasp* b0ys have coooties...gawddd...o0of course! French kissed someone? umm...same as ab0ve...lol tried a weight loss program? yahh Jumped on a trampoline? yeah. and I fell off of Erin's. lol. Visited another country? LiVED in an0ther country... Colored in a coloring book(and had fun)? yeah. It makes me feel better. Had a bubble bath? I don't like them. Been on a plane? yes. I hate flying. Been on a boat? n0pe Been on a train? yahhh Been in a car accident? 0ne Ridden an elephant? ...uh...no? Made a web page? yahhh! Played with Barbies? um yeah, up until like the 6th grade...and kelly used to like mess up my houses. and I'd get s0o pissed. lol. Stayed up all night? yeah. Broken a bone? yeah. Called a physchic or sex hotline? Me and Kelly dialed 1800 hot lips for Louis 0nce...lol. Watched Jerry Springer? L0VE jerry. 'Don't put my baby mama in jayyyylll...' lol krissy! gotten in trouble for talking in class? yess Been in the hospital(not visiting)? yeah. like every christmas. and then when I sprained my knee. Lied? 0f course. Been arrested? n0pe Fallen asleep in class? twice. Used food for something other than to eat? um...sure? met a celebrity? yeah. Broken the law? with friends like mine... Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? yes. Hated yourself? 0f course Been brokenhearted? ...i am right n0w... "...Break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away..." -->> D0 Y0U... <<-- Like to give hugs? yes. I am the huggy m0nster. Like to walk in the rain? yes. Sleep with or without clothes on? pajamas in the winter...n0thing in the summer. Prefer black or blue pens? black...or pink. Dress up on Halloween? I'm being Jackie O this halloween. lol. Have a job? pssh no. like to travel? YES. Like someone? s0rt of... Do they know? n0o Sleep on your side, tummy or back? tummy 0r side Want to marry? I already am? Who? 0rlando Bl00m & Ryan Salisbury. Have a goldfish? they used to die like, the day I g0t them... Ever have the falling dream? yesss Have stuffed animals? I sleep with my shag0oz...my 0ne true l0ve...<333 Go on vacation? yes... "...I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all behind, and never said goodbye I left it all to die..." -->> What do you think about <<-- Bill Clinton: um...? Smoking: d0n't really care. Eating Disorders: -skip- Rap: ...i d0n't even know, i don't even want t0 think ab0ut it... Suicide: -skip- South Park: s0o stupid. Summer: w0w...this summer was AWES0ME<3 Tattoos: want 0ne Peircing: g0t 3 in each ear & belly butt0n Make-up: is g0d Drinking: ahaha...greatness Guys: ...w0w Girls: um...I am 0ne? lol "...I saw its birth, I watched it grow I felt it change me I took the life, I ate it slow Now it consumes me..." -->> What do you think when you hear this name <<-- Jennifer: my c0usin. 0ne of the best people I've ever kn0wn... Lindsey: crazy. lol. Megan: EYELiNER...!!! haha kelly. Brandon: that carlin sketch..."I bet Vinny, Tony and Johnny c0uld kick the shit out of Tyler, Brandon and Kyle" Angela: j0urnalism last year...she was great. Jeff: ...!!! -skip- Mike: the h0tt kid. Nikki: n0t sure? Lauren: Lentine! My crazy girl last year, in like 5 0f my classes! Derek: that kid t0ny is friends with...the one with the electric orange hair... Lisa: a girl my sister used to be like best friends with. Kristi: i don't think I know one... Matt: a good friend of mine Holly: c0usin. Cait: ? Caroline: dunno? Joseph: as in Joey? I met one at the overnight. He was awes0me. Eline: ? Patrick: HAHA...Pat...KELLYYY...lmaoo... Erin: l0ndon =( John: that l0ser kid kelly had 0ver once...l0l. "...I... break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away..." -->> This or That <<-- Pierced nose or tongue? depends on the pers0n... Be serious or funny? b0th at the right time... Single or taken? depends... Simple or Complicated? simple. Law or anarchy? law, anarchy is so dead. seri0usly. MTV or VH1? MTV 7th Haven or Dawson’s Creek? 7th heaven Sugar or salt? sugar Silver or gold? silver Tongue or belly button ring? bellybutt0n. Chocolate or flowers? fl0wers. n0 calories. Angels or miracles? neither. Color or Black-and-white photos? colour f0r pictures, and black/white f0r landscapes... Sunrise or sunset? sunset M&M’s or Skittles? b0th. Rap or Rock? r0ck... Stay up late or sleep in? b0th...stay up late & then sleep in, l0l. TV or radio? TV. Hot or cold? c0ld. Tall members of the opposite sex or short? tall Sun or moon? m0on Diamond or Ruby? diam0nd // sapphire Left or Right? left 10 acquaintances or 1 bestfriend? 1 best friend. Vanilla or chocolate? vanilla Kids or not? n0t cat or dog? d0g Half empty or Half full? Depends if y0u're pouring or drinking -- Bill Cosby Mustard or ketchup? ketchup Newspaper or Magazine? magazine Spring or Fall? b0th, my 2 fave seas0ns! Give or receive? b0th. Rain or snow? rain Lace or satin? b0th. *grin* A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? lifetime of friendship. Happy or sad? happy Corduroy or plaid? cord0uroy Wonder or amazement? amazement sneakers or sandals? sneakers McDonalds or Burger King? neitherr Mexican or Italian food? iTALiAN<33333 Lights on or off? 0n...hate the dark! Duct tape or scotch tape? KELLY...duct tape! lol. sc0tch. Candy or soda? neither. A house in the woods or the city? city. Pepsi or Coke? neither. Nike or ADIDAS? neither. "...Break down, and cease all feeling Burn now, what once was breathing Reach out, and you may take my heart away ... Heart away..." ~ "The Leaving Song" -- AFI I had a h0rrible day. Not getting int0 it. CHRiSSY<3 carmela something isn't right here

tears, c0ffee & juan... [12 Sep 2003|10:59pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Kidnap the Sandy Claws - Nightmare Before Xmas soundtrack! ] I can't even think where to start...t0night was s0o terrible. "...How can you call me your friend? (How can you call me your friend?) You run me around in circles. But your words slide off. You lie, so I won't try to fight you..." It started 0ff okay. But it didn't end that way. Hmmm...me and Kelly ended up in RB...but what else is new?? So, this is where Juan c0mes into the story. We're by the book section of Funk & Standard...and, um, we sp0t this green lawn ornament. and It's a gnome. I swear, it lights up. It's the c0olest shit in the world. And his name is Juan. w0o. Go Juan. Then Brad, Tim, Andy and Blake came...then it alllll started. So Kelly went to talk to Andy for a bit...and Brad was all over a few girls right in fr0nt of me...when he kn0ws I like(d) him. w0nderffful. So then, Blake (whose his br0ther) called me ugly...s0o I walked away...I don't need that shit. "...These words they choke me. They resonate in my heart. My soul won't let me sleep. How can you call me your friend? (How can you call me your friend?) You bleed me dry with slander. But your words slide off. The grace that I have found without you..." Okay. So I was sitting on a bench, al0ne. And then Tim came over t0 sit with me...and talk to me... seri0usly love him, he's so awes0me...!!! So we talked f0r a long time...actually, that's a lie. I talked, and he listened. It was nice to have s0meone just LiSTEN f0r a change. So a l0ng while later, Tim came back and we went to 7-11. It was like FREEEEZING out t0night...so the genius bought a soda. l0l. I got this weird coffee concoction...and I wasn't even reading the flavor adder powder things...I was just dumping shit in there. It actually turned 0ut g0od...go figure. "...These words they choke me. They resonate in my heart. My soul won't let me sleep..." So then Blake c0mes back over, and we were like bickering f0r some reason...I d0n't even KN0W this kid...anyway, I was like, get away, y0u're related to Brad. And he goes...'You're just pissed because Brad w0n't h0okup with y0u' wh0oaaa...that was it. I got up and like walked. I was so upset...that was such a terrible thing to say! So then, I cried. and cried. and cried. and then I cried s0me more. Tim sat with me the wh0le time...he's such an awesome friend. So Kelly came back over and we went to Starbucks. And we g0t cookies and I g0t plain, black tea. It was awes0me...s0o hott thooo...lol. So then! ANDREW WAS THERE! I love that kid. He's so awesome. He was like, "Let me console you!" "I am the psychiatrist!" So I was telling him how Blake called me ugly, and he's all..."Y0U'RE BEAUTIFUL! Y0U'RE G0RGE0US...!!!"...aww <3 Then he 0ffered to drive me homee...but Mommie was already on her way...t0o baddd...I l0ve andrew, he's seriously, a sweetheart. Hmmm...I dunn0. Brad is s0o...dhewfhiewhhewjkf! gawddd... "...And I will rise upon your wings and I will rise above your wings. Stabbing backwards on to you here Falling backwards on to you. And I will rise, rise above you. And I will rise, rise above you...." 0n a happier n0te...my m0mmie bought me presents today. Totally randomly...she g0t me 3 shirts fr0m bebe & a c0ach bag. w0o. It's the C 0ne...and it's like blue and black...it looks denim-y. I like it. And this heart keyring for my h0use key...which I have YET t0 get from her, lol. Hmmm...so yeah. fucked up shit. CHRiSSY<3 carmela 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

nothing's g0nna make this right again... [10 Sep 2003|04:52pm] [ mood | guilty ] [ music | ^^ That song up there ] this is f0r my daddy...i'm s0rry about everythingg... Hey dad look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't pretend that I'm alright And you can't change me 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spend with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don't care anymore And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't stand another fight And nothing's alright 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect Nothing's gonna change the things that you said Nothing's gonna make this right again Please don't turn your back I can't believe it's hard Just to talk to you But you don't understand 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect --Simple Plan "Perfect" g0d...if y0u guys d0n't know the story...d0n't ask 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

...i d0n't need t0 l0ok behind [08 Sep 2003|02:15am] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Trapt -- Echo ] * ahhh...s0me0ne help me RED0 MY DiARY...i'M ABS0LUTELY USELESS AT THiS STUFF!!! LAYERS SURVEY <3 LAYER ONE -Name: Chrissy -Birthdate: June 26th, 1988 -Birthplace: Mountainside Hospital, Cedar Grove, NJ -Current Location: H0LMDEL NJ BABY <3 ((NEVER th0ught i'd be HAPPY t0 say that)) -Eye Color: Blue -Hair Color: it was, like, BL0NDE...but n0w it's dark blonde. I like ittt... -Height: 5'8'' -Righty or Lefty: Lefty<3 -Zodiac Sign: Cancer LAYER TWO -Your heritage: italian & irish -The shoes you wore today: I didn't. Seriously, never g0t dressed, lol. -Your weakness: s0me0ne crying // tearjerkers // sad s0ngs // chocolate // 0rland0 bloom -Your fears: the dark, spiders, skunks, peanut butter, loneliness, l0sing my best friends <3 -Your perfect pizza: pepperoni with pepperochini peppers. yumm...the green ones. ahhh. -Goal you'd like to achieve: To do s0mething with my life. LAYER THREE -Your most overused phrase on aim: "..." "rofl" "lmao" "i l0ve y0u" -Your thoughts first waking up: I'm h0me! -Physical feature: like, my favourite of my own? My eyes. -Your bedtime: whenever, but usually 11 -Your most missed memory: 8th grade. fucking AWES0ME <3 LAYER FOUR -Pepsi or Coke: diet c0ke -McDonald's or Burger King: ronald's -grin- -Single or group dates: single & d0uble -Adidas or Nike: Adidas i guess... -Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton powdered stuff & Nestea bottled. -Chocolate or vanilla: "Vahniller" -- t0ny...at miromar! haha! -Cappuccino or coffee: umm...a cappuccino is coffee...but cappuccinos, espressos...ANYTHiNG<3 LAYER FIVE -Cuss: n0, but I CURSE all the time <3 -Sing: ahaha! that's a FUNNY one. -Take a shower everyday: Either everyday when it's curly, every other if I straighten. I don't want t0 kill my hair, it's delicate...lol -Have crush(es): Yes, but I'm giving up. -Do you think you've been in love: 0nce. -Want to go to college: ...2 w0rds...FRAT PARTIES<3 -Like high school: well, freshman year was fucking AWES0ME...but since I'm switching to the DEL<3 h0pefully it will be just as g0od...maybe even BETTER<3 -Want to get married: not sure. -Believe in yourself: s0metimes. -Get motion sickness: If I read in a car, then most definatly. -Do you think you're attractive: s0metimes. -Think you're a health freak: at times<3 -Get along with your parents: f0r the most part...it's a little weird right n0w... -Like thunderstorms: N0 N0 N0...!!! -Play an instrument: n0o LAYER SIX: In the past month have you... -Drank alcohol: yes'm. -Done a drug: n0pe -Made Out: yes -Gone on a date: n0 -Gone to the mall?: um...I am Chrissy, have we f0rgotten? lol. -Eaten an entire box of Oreos: -gets sick at the thought- -Eaten sushi: n0pe -Been on stage: noo -Gone skating: n0pe -Made homemade cookies: nah -Gone skinny dipping: haha...yess... -Dyed your hair: every m0nth baby! lol. -Stolen anything: sure. I st0le my m0m's sweater when I was c0ld. lol. LAYER SEVEN: Ever.. -Played a game that required removal of clothing: d0nt think s0o... -If so, was it mixed company: ... -Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: ...like drunk? yeSs -Been caught "doing something": n0o -Been called a tease: yes. -Gotten beaten up: n0pe -Changed who you were to fit in: a little. but n0t anymore. LAYER EIGHT -Age you hope to be married: like...25 0r 26... -Numbers and Names of Children: 1 0r two...the first ((wh0 need to be a b0y)) will be Christian [Louboutin], Marc [Jacobs], Jason, Anthony, Jake, sec0nd...which will be a girl, 2 years later ((h0tt older brother's friends)) -- Crystal, Kate, Alexis, Victoria -Describe your dream wedding: my dad's girlfriend st0le it. Beach fr0nt. grrr. But, L0nd0n...<3 d0wn 0XF0RD STREET...huge part in MiSS SELFRiDGE...w0o! lol -How do you want to die: in my sleep, peacefully. -Where do you want to go to college: n0t sure, but Capri f0r hair design -What do you want to be when you grow up: maybe w0rk for daddie // hair stylist -What country would you most like to visit: WANT T0 G0 H0ME T0 L0ND0N <3 LAYER NINE: -Best eye color? light blue // sapphire blue // emerald green -Best hair color? BL0NDE...the blonder the better. -Short or long hair: sh0rt or shaggy sort of...but n0t L0NG...y0u know? -Short or tall: tall -Best weight: ummm n0t less than meee lol -Best articles of clothing: jeans & sweatshirts I can steal. -Best first date location: m0vies. -Best first kiss location: whatever seems right<3 LAYER TEN -Number of people I could trust with my life: -counts on fingers- 6 -Number of CDs that I own: I can't c0unt that high. -Number of piercings: 4...s0on to be 6. -Number of tattoos: n0ne...but s0on! -Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 3 -Number of scars on my body: l0ts...childh0od, and y0u know...2 years ag0...*stops there* -Number of things in my past that I regret: there's a c-uple really 'prominent' things...but n0t t0o many... <3333333 STARTiNG SCH00L S00N <33 CHRiSSY <3 carmela<3 * something isn't right here

this is n0t where y0u bel0ng... [07 Sep 2003|12:41am] [ mood | guilty ] [ music | Imaginary -- Evanescence. *dance* ] ...I'M H0ME B0YS AND GIRLS <3... Ahhh...h0mies!!! I'm H0ME...I m0ved in with my MOM again! I'm starting Holmdel High s0on!!! yeah, I bet y0u're thinking it must've been pretty shittay at my Dads. Hmmm...It's kind of sucky. But, in a nutshell. I t0ld my dad I wanted to m0ve back in with mommie...and then he tried to make me c0mpromise and stay for an0ther 6 months...yeaahh...FUCK THAT! So I said no, and he gave me the hugest guilt trip I've ever had. I swear, my dad is a PRICK. And then, he t0ld me to g0 apologize to his GIRLFRIEND...0h yes...It get's better. She t0ld me I was SELFiSH & this is BAD timing, because it's her first wedding...and stuff. And that's she's angry at me. Well, number 0ne...FUCK Y0U...you're n0t my mother, I would never want y0u f0r one!!! Number 2, I still HAVE t0 g0 to your fucking wedding...and number 3, How dare Y0U call me selfish!? Y0U RUINED MY FAMILY...you KNEW my father was married and had 2 CHILDREN. and y0u STILL had a relationship with him, so d0n't talk to me ab0ut fucking being SELFISH. And um, my dad said she made sacrifices for me. yeah, right. She knew that my dad HAS A FUCKiNG DAUGHTER...and I made sacrifices to live there t00...even if it was my CH0iCE...I sacrificed my relationship with my mother, and a L0T of my friends who I've known since 5th grade, so seriously. FUCK Y0UUU... GAWDDD... fuck them all, I'm HAPPY... 0N A HAPPiER N0TE...<3 Mommie took my sh0pping. I got 2 french connection shirts (( lucky fcuk & fcuk )) and a PiNK C0URDUR0Y JACKET!!!...AHHH...matches my white denim & furry one from bebe. *grin* lalalalaaa... I just t0ld someone s0mething and I feel s0o stupid about it...!!! am g0ing n0w...i<3t0ny...<333 I want Megz' weather. hottness. and she can have this coldness <333 CHRiSSY<3 carmela<3 !!! w0ot !!! 1 never said goodbye // something isn't right here

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