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and a little bit of me wanted to be beautiful

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time to say goodbye.... [26 Jul 2003|07:11pm]
Goodbye....Last post.... as of tomorrow..this journal will be deleted...other journals will come and go along the way..but for now goodbye sweetfracture i'll miss you.sorry all..
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well well well.... [21 Jul 2003|06:29pm]
alright so last night.. I went to the movies.. to see How to Deal.. yup.. typical girl type movie.. ehh i went in thinking hmm.. looks bad.. ehh..but god was I wrong haha..i mean sure there was an awful lot of things going on.. you know.. everything bad that copuld have happened did..but jeez..the guy...um..beautiful..thats all there is so say... he was absolutly beautiful.. so in none of you are interested in even seeing the movie cause it looks bad.. atleast go just to see that amazing guy.. cause after you see him.. youll def say um wow that was totaly worth it.. 100%work again tomorrow..then the usual 3 days off in a row.. they are the best part...vacation soon..yup..20 days aka 2 weeks and 6 days..um yup.. should be good.. I need to go to the beach this week.. that is a must.. I washed the car today.. well Joes car..oh man.. I sat with my bathing suit on listening to michael jackson while dancing around washing his car...um yes it was quite embaressing.. yet it was an experience none the less.. haha.. I did get some weird looks tho haha.. oh well it was fun while it lasted.. well also until my mom called me a physco haha...yesterday.. being online was not too good.. being that I was way too tired.. so I didn't understand anything that was going on.. christine sat and made fun of me..b/c I had no clue what so ever what she was saying.. yea she'll pay for that.. some day soon ;) haha.. thats a lie.. cause um.. shed kill me.. in 2 seconds..yup....Jaxxxxxx
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my tounge is tied, without you here I can't survive [17 Jul 2003|09:54pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | diffuser ]

crazy week.. yesterday I went out with Lisa and Kristin and we got in to see t3.. for free.. Lisa walked into a man and I lost my shoe.. today i went to the mall with Lindsay and we tried on little boys clothes.. and they actually fit.. that was a bit awkward.. we did get clothes our size tho.. work tomorrow... i've been off from work since monday.. a good few days off.. i guess..summer hasnt quite turned out that great.. but oh well.. wasn't that bad...ill be glad when I go on vacation tho..quite glad to just away from a lot... i never thought id say that...and its getting closer and closer now..about 3 weeks or so..hmm.. it'll be good im sure.. thats enough for now..not soo many comments lately I see.. ehh thats okay.....

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... the makeup runs from her eyes and spills the truth [12 Jul 2003|06:22pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | Brand new ]

alright whose ready for a real post..here we go

um okay.. work at 9 am.. too bad i felt like crap all day and pretty much felt like i was going to throw up every minute I was at work.. it was disgusting.. ofcourse i ddint.. but eww throw up is the worst thing ever.. so i ddint eat of course and before I left. for work that morning. i went to go get some food.. and i find a waffle in the freezer.. too bad... the waffle kind was um fruit loops.. what the hell kind of waffle is that..fruit loops kind?.. eww well i ate it anyway.. um too bad that was a bad decision and that probably contributed to the fact that i was ready to throw up all day long.. so i head off to work and i decided to go find some gum.. um too bad they dont have my gum.. wintergreen.. .. so i settle for spearmint and I must say that is the most digusting kind of gum ever invented.. basically for the fact that.. it made me gag.. and eww it was just gross... i got to lift boxes today.. haha.. yeah,, you know with the muscles I have.. ha right soI come home.. and fall asleep.. in the middle of the day.. I don;t think ive done that since i was um 6.. and i woke up and before long.. i was hungry.. so I took a trip to wendys.. and got chicken nuggets.. too bad wendys is cheap and gave me 4 and not 5 hahahha..ehh oh well...um so now.. im about to go out for a lovely night of..nothing?..umm who knows..we'll see.. maybe another poast later..<3 jax....

christine is mean and doesnt visit me at work when she says she will.. hmph.. thats alright.. i still love her anyway

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and theres no other choice [10 Jul 2003|08:40pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | rufio ]

well.. I havn't updated in quite a while.. actually I have.. atleast 5 other entries..but I kept deleting them..b/c i hated them.. im really slacking with this journal thing.. i dont ever want to update I dont know.. um this summer is not working out how I would have liked it to iether but im not going to sit here and complain about that... im going on vacation soon.. well in exactly a month tomorrow..hmm...im soo bored and ive been working a whole lot lately.. but this week i had 3 days off in a row and thats amazing.. even tho it doesnt seem it haha.. hmm what else..probably nothing.. maybe i'll have a good update soon.. maybe not..we'll see..<3 jax

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well.. [28 Jun 2003|12:27am]
so my brother graduated today.. kind of odd.. i must say.. never really saw it coming.. or maybe it didnt affect me until today when that stupid song played ha..either way.. itll be a little weird i guess... other than that.. its been a horribly hectic week.. too much work.ugh.. next week theres less hours which im glad about..i need abreak haha.. soon..soon ..so I guess nothing else to say for now..except i love this weather.. wayy too much.. and im going to the beach.. next week.. me and Lindsay.. we decided haha.. alright well im out....
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hehe yay... [19 Jun 2003|11:28pm]
[ mood | excited ]

well.. as of tonight me and Lindsay decided we're getting another journal.. but to share.. so like it'll be both of us posting.. itll mainly be pictures and stuff.. but we;re sharing.. just as an idea.. to see how it works out.. itll be cool....not same type of journal tho..but it should be fun.. we'll fix it up friday night and the link will soon be added to my prof or whatever..last regents tomorrow.. should be exciting.. i need to go to the beach and get tan or something cause the lightness of my skin is killing me.. you wouldnt believe and I even bought a nice pretty bathing suit today..youll see soon enough.. its orange and red.. hehe.. very bright..but cute.. umm like 25 hours of work next week.. good paycheck to buy my camera with.. hehe yay for that.. um summer starts exactly when i walk out of that gym tomorrow and leave to go home.. then after that.. oh boy..nothing to do.. everyday.. except when I work.. but that doesnt count.. ahh.. sigh I love it.. oh such plans.. oh man im sooo excitied.. i love that first day of summer feeling.. its sooo..hmm i dunno how to explain.. but its nice hehe.. ps my buddy christine turns 16 tomorrow.. wish her a happy one.....

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all good things must come to an end.. in this case tho.. is it actually good? [14 Jun 2003|11:37pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | appleseed cast ]

last day of school.. wow..junior next year.. sooo quick.. cant believe it..at all.. day was very laid back.. besides the fact that i hate mr Benitos guts.. and well .. i just dont like him..we did pretty much nothing in every class and that didnt actually bother me much..went to mc donalds during lunch thanks to a very good friend Lisa Fries..i need to study due to having regents and finals all next week.. im scared..and then i took pictures after school today..in the form of negatives.. well kind of.. i borrowed larissa's camera and we took random pictures..except we switched the setting to negitive form and its the coolest thing.. theres a picture of me with my striped shirt.. ugh.. its genius :).. i need to get myself a digital camera.. and that will be quite soon might i add... cause the good old long hours at the 5 & 10 are back.. and i go into work today.. with no intention of working.. in there getting stuff when i found out.. well im supposed to be working... what the hell??.. since when.. ugh and then work tomorrow.. but i personally dont care too much.. cause its summer and yeah.. after all regents' and fnals are done.. i can just sit and do nothing..Thanks to my friends for a good year..Lindsay..your great.. this summer.. oh boy.. the plans we have.....Christine..no words to describe how much you helped me..thanks..so much.. thanks to everyone else for being amazing.. :).......

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all is said and done.. [11 Jun 2003|11:29pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | AFI ]

well..3 days left of school..4 more regents and finals..and then..summer..hmm well sophomore year was quite eventful. i must say, and it has come to a close...My brother got his year book today and in sibling pictures,,well theres two of me.. and oddly enough.. i have 2 different names ha..hmm who knows.. I need to go to the beach.. soon..but you know what.. i've done my complaining..im done being mad..or upset or indifferent or whatever else I was..it's almost summer.. and nothing like that should really matter anymore.. and yes I have summer goals and stuff.. but what i really need to do is just have fun.. not worry about anything..just have fun for however many weeks we're off..and I need to listen to christine more often when she says im screwing up ha,., thanks chris.. I always need you there to point me in the right direction when i going off the side of the road again.. thank you..and thats about it..so yeah..

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you make such good friends to only end up losing them [07 Jun 2003|03:07pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

LONG WEEEEEEEEK... ugh.. last day of class's are finally FINALLLY approaching.. and oh man..it;s exciting.. last day of participating in gym haha and i've established the fact that I'm not able to do anything in gym..moving on night was alright I guess.. tomorrow is work.. 6 hours.. not bad I guess.. last week of school.. no matter how much I want it to be over.. im a little upset.. the same thing happens year after year... you make such good friends in one year.. the summer comes.. you dont see them till school starts again and then either you don;t ever talk again. or just when you do talk.. it's really awkward.. and I hate it.. cause i made too many good friends this year.just to end up losing them.. so I will try my best to prevent it..summer plans.. taking a week and a half off in august to take a little trip to good old california... thats my only highlight of the summer as of now.. besides my other summer plans but yea.. um thats all i feel like writing about for now.. besides the fact that finally this journal has taken its last entry.. i think its had enough.. or maybe im just lazy.. ill see... <3

btw- forgot the fact that during lunch today,, christine.. being the loser that she is.. spilled chocolate italian ice all over her shirt.. oh man,..good laugh-- good job chris

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hmm.. what? [02 Jun 2003|04:40pm]
well lets see.. yesterday sure was fun..recital was not good in the afternoon but at night it was better.. some seaford guy came up to me and goes.. yo..you do know you look like a whore right?.. im like okay wow thanks i knew that but thanks for pointing it out again.. and then his friend is like.. not only does she look like a whore.. but she looks like michael jackson too.. and that comment..okay yes look like michael jackson? wtf is that.. being that hes a man.. so that doesnt say much for me.. so basically i was michael jackson yesterday dressed up in a dominatrix porn star outfit.. oh man.. and today i woke up at 8:00.. and stayed awake..who knows why..btw im still sick.. this is bad...almost summer.. yes.. im excited.. too bad finals.regents are soon.. ugh...
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bathrooms are great [01 Jun 2003|01:40am]
[ mood | flirty ]
[ music | Saves the day ]

wow amazing night--too bad I was an idiot--oh man.. amandas sweet 16.. greatest thing ever..girls bathroom had free stuff.. ..i took about 5 pounds of candy and told christine" Boy chris i hope no one takes my candy" and she looks and laughs and was like.. oh Jackie..its called wow being way too obsessed with candy.. dance recital dominatrix tomorrow.. oh boy whose excited.. me alright thats enough for now cause im too lazy and tired to type anything else..

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wooa [26 May 2003|11:22pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | taking back sunday ]

look at me and being all creative and fixing this up.. it needed a huge change.. I like it now..I decided these bangs of mine arent turning out soo good..they looked nicer 2 days ago and maybe I need help with them.. or maybe ill just make them go away somehow..:/.. who knows..work tomorrow.. ugh.. 4 hour day tho.. not too bad..amanda will be 16 on wednesday yay..and me and Lindsay took random pictures friday night.. and i made her a necklace hehe.. and we made ourselves a plan for the summer..and summer is soon yay..hmm thats all for now i suppose..

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wow okay I think tonight i can actually admit that i am a loser [22 May 2003|11:27pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | armor for sleep ]

woa.. heres the part where you all laugh at me and say " haha Jack, you're such a loser".... i just noticed i lost my eyeliner..and you all sit here and laugh.. but that stupid freaking thing is the only makeup I ever wear and that actually looks halfway decent on me..and its goooonnneee.. and Im upset...so tomorrow im going out a buying like 6 so if this ever happpens again i'll be all set and ready...Tomorrow...im scared to death..cutting my bangs off..ahh..jeez.. it scares me soo much but everyones says it'll look okay.. boy guys if your going to lie to me and say something to just shut me up.. don't let it be now please.. noo school tomorrow and no work either.. thats called being really excited cause it is the first time in a month and a half I can sleep past 8:30 on a day off.. made my speech in english today.. it sucked.. and I took 2 rolls of random pictures after school which made me excited cause i totally forgot how much fun my camera was..get those developed tomorrow...and no work till friday.. yes for that...gooday this was..first in quite a while....

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WOA.. [18 May 2003|11:17pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | movielife ]

alright i stapled my finger today at work and choked last night while in a car..well i got home tonite from a long day of work and babysitting and I decided.. i need a change..drastic... and that means.. yes im cutting my hair.. but not totally no no no.. im cutting bangs..i was looking through a magizine and it gave me the greatest idea in the whole entire world and im going for it.. so yes.. next thrusday.. cutting my hair.. im scared to death.. but i need a change.. realllllly badly.. so yeah..thats my choice.. itll look like crap.. no doubt.. but im going for it, and another thing, im chnaging the look of this journal.. once I figure out how

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[17 May 2003|11:45pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Glassjaw ]

look what i found... have fun haha:

// series one - you
-- Name: jackie
-- Birth date: October 2nd
-- Birthplace: New York
-- Current Location: wantagh
-- Eye Color: hazel
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: libra

// series two - describe
-- Your heritage: Italian, irish. czechoslovakian
-- The shoes you wore today: blue saucony's
-- Your hair: medium-long
-- Your eyes: um hazel? haha
-- Your weakness?: being mean haha
-- Your fears: screwing up
-- Your perfect pizza: um.. all pizza is good haha
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: umm..?

// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aim: true
-- Your thoughts first waking up: I wish I could sleep longer
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite(or same) sex: eyes
-- Your best physical feature: eyes
-- Your bedtime: whenever i fall asleep
-- Your greatest accomplishment: umm
-- Your most missed memory: childhood

// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds
-- Single or group dates: umm single are really awkward at times
-- Adidas or Nike: neither
-- Lipton or Nestea: Lipton
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee!!!

// series five - do you
-- Smoke: nope
-- Cuss: at times
-- Sing well: yeah okay hahha
-- Take a shower everyday: yes
-- Have a crush(es): mmmm.. yes
-- who are they: good question haha..
-- Do you think you've been in love: nope
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Like school: ehh at times maybe
-- Want to get married: Maybe
-- Type w/ your fingers keys: huh lol
-- Believe in yourself: nope haha
-- Get motion sickness: No
-- Think you're attractive: nope.. not at all
-- Think you're a health freak: umm
-- Get along with your parents: ehhhhh
-- Like thunderstorms: yes in the summer their nice
-- Play an instrument: nope too bad too

// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: no
-- Smoke(d): nope
-- Done a drug: nope
-- Have Sex: nope
-- Made Out:.. if you havnt noticed already.. my love life sucks
-- Go on a date: um no
-- Go to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
-- Eaten sushi: nope
-- Been on stage: no
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: i cant cook haha
-- Been in love: no
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: yes.. i dye my hair atleast 6 times a month hahaha
-- Stolen anything: no

// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: nah
-- If so, was it mixed company:
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught "doing something":nah
-- Been called a tease: yes few times
-- Gotten beaten up: no
-- Shoplifted: no
-- If so, did you get caught: --
-- Changed who you were to fit in: if i were to change its for me

// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: good question
-- Numbers and Names of Children: um dunno yet
-- How do you want to die: quickly haha
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: teacher
-- What country would you most like to visit: umm italy maybe

// series nine - opposite(same) sex
-- Best eye color?: green/brown
-- Best hair color?: brown
-- Short or long hair?: ehh both.. not too long tho
-- Best height : taller than me
-- Best articles of clothing: Pants haha not too tight not too loose haha
-- Best first date location: outside.. somewhere
-- Best first kiss location: same place

// series ten - number of
-- Number of boyfriends you've had: 1 1/2 haha
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
-- Number of CDs that I own: too many to count
-- Number of piercings: 6
-- Number of tattoos: 0.. as of now..
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: twice
-- Number of scars on my body: 13 haha
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: a whole lot

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cause I dont want to be just a memory to you [09 May 2003|07:28pm]
i've finally found out how to fix all of my problems.. get a new peircing :) .. when?.. oh very very very soon.. the only question is where will i get it.. ideas anyone?
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breathe in... breathe out.. survive [09 May 2003|05:32pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | The Movie Life ]

i don't know what to say.. these past 3 weeks have gone downhill reallyfast and I dont know why. Bands are breaking up.. cough cough Taking Back Sunday..I've lost all hope in actually finding myself a boyfriend, Im such a slacker in school and i've seen to have ruined every good thing thats happened to me recently. Somehow i just seem to suceed really well at screwing things up haha.. another thing.. i hate sitting here venting to this stupid journal cause its not actually like it talks to me and tells me what to do or anything. i need to vent to an actual person and I feel bad doing that to people.. the only one who pretty much listens to me is christine( thanks chris.. your amazing and I appreciate everything youve done for me.. even tho you do call me a ho bag sometimes haha) but I hate sitting and complaining to people.. i just want to find out someway to fix everything thats going wrong.. but I cant seem to figure out the right way to do that and I dont know what else I should do.. i mean i feel like I also have no social life anymore which sucks.. like cause I go to school mon-friday and then everyone looks forward to weekends.. but me.. well i look forward to..work.. which is not actually something to look forward to and i dont actually look forward to it.. do that just defeats the whole purpose.. but who knows.. maybe once summer comes everything will be alright.. i really hope so..cause i hate being so depressed lately.. and i hate not going out and.. i hate...... screwing up...

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[08 May 2003|10:08pm]
i've made the decision that this journal must go.. so tomorrow will be last entry.. unless I decide other wise.. or people start complaing.. which is very unlikely
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dont bother to look in my direction.. I should have seen it all along [28 Apr 2003|06:53pm]
[ mood | upset ]
[ music | BrandNew ]

hahha thats right, me and christine discovered that we are somehow telapathic hahah and I know your probably all sitting here being like okay wow Jackie how old are like like 5.. seriously.. what the hell is wrong with you.. but I seriously think we are its great. But besides that today sucked soo badly.. too many reasons why that i dont feel like sharing except for those few people who somehow know about it haha ::cough cough::. Yeah I dunno what's happening with that i hate coming back from vacation. Oh and bad news.. a local band of wantagh.. The Madison Chase... is no longer.. sadness.. i really am sad tho.. I loved those boys..ehh there will be new bands.. alright and im officially kicked off my comp haha and thats why im online right now.. haha its called sneaking online on my bros comp.. yeah thats enough for now..

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