Bee's Blurty

Time:	6:25 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	bsb - we've got it going on.

i dont know why but everytime i update this damn thing, i'm always in the worst frickin mood and babble up a storm which makes no sense to even me, one hour later. i'm gonna try to sound happy in this one.. i dont know how sucessful i'll be. its kinda amusing to read though... so0o0o this week was good. as sad as it is.. i'm actually enjoying going to school. if we didnt get grades i'd be all set. yupp, i'm getting a d in math and theres nothing i can do about it, except be grounded for the rest of my freakin life.
monday -- ek. i was just pissed in general. didnt see him to talk about my note which ticked me off more. me and ash had a couple of good laughs in her driveway though... me imitating her dog mostly, then talking about sniffing people, same old, same old. anyone that drove by probably would of had us commited.
tuesday -- i was soo scared/stressed/mad at the beginning of the day but it turned out to be freakin awesome. so day b is the day that i see him most and ash was planning on asking him about my note.. so she did. so i go up to her and i'm like "what happened?" and she goes.. "i'll tell you later." and i was like "ok.. but like how'd it go." and she did that whole "ek" -- as you shake your hand back in forth - like "alright" thing so i freaked cause of course, i'm always thinking the worst. i almost burst out crying the second i got in the door of history cause i was so upset, and i asked to go to the bathroom and booked it there. i didnt have to go the bathroom, mind you, just calm down, so in the middle of history.. i REALLY HAVE TO GO. i honestly thought i was just gonna piss myself right there and then. theres like a half hour left and i'm almost in tears so i finally made it to the bell. i have never made it down any hallway at ac so quick in my whole life. i think i knocked over a couple people in the process but heyy. so i get to my locker and a note falls out and of course its from ash, so i freak out cause i know its about him and 56834862 thoughts are going through my head and i cant even breath. and i get to the bus stop and wont even read it cause i am honestly too scared to. i waited till the bus came and read it and she was like "he forgives you but he just dosent know who you are." i screamed and was jumping up and down.. i havent felt that happy for like years and i'm not even exaggerating. so once that all wore off which was at like 9.30 at night, i'm like what am i gonna do? he dosent know who i am. so i planned on going up to him on wednesday -- that didnt work. he walked by me and i freaked out and tried to talk and my voice squeaked and he didnt hear me, then everytime i saw him that day he was with his friends. so again i was planning on talking to him on thursday and i didnt see him once compared to every other day when i see him 1253 times. it was just weird. then at the end of the day they announced we dont have school cause its like -455231 degress out.. ahh its just FREEZING, so i couldnt talk to him today. =0( maybe i'll talk to him online.. he hasnt been on though.
yeah so i did squat today.. dont feel good. throat/stuffy nose/swollen eyes thing. my mom's about to die though. shes so comotose but still finds the energy to yell at me. talented, i must say. ok.. i gotta go. i'll write more when i can.

Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	i am officially a complete stress case
Time:	3:03 pm.
Mood:	scared.
Music:	hilary duff - come clean.

so i havent posted for a while. i havent been in the mood to pour my heart out to complete strangers and then have them call me a whore, but you no.. thats only me. this week went by really fast and i wish it didnt. as sad as it sounds, i wanna go to school. i like having something to do. i cant stand staying home and since it's so frickin cold out, no one wants to go out. =/ i'm going crazy sitting around.
so i really cant remember the beginning of this week too well. school was school. classes were boring, the rest of it was semi-fun. i was in one of those feeling sorry for myself moods cause i didnt know what to think or what to do or how to fix things i screwed up. so on thursday i had gotten off the phone with ash and i was a complete basket case cause i wanted to apologize to the kid i had lied to (still not mentioning any names.. not yet at least) and i had no idea what i was gonna do just cause i'm scared to death of confrontation. so my mom knew the basics of what had happened. not the details.. just like the situation surronding it. so we talked for like a half hour while i was taking a shower and i got out and i was like "i mine as well, what the hell." so i went up to my dad and was like "if a girl lied to you but was truly sorry would you forgive her?" and he was like "well probably but it depends on the situation." i didnt explain any details, i was just like "it involves me." so he was like "well i know you're sorry.. just make sure he knows." so i was in my room to get my notebook to write the kid a letter and my dad was like "come here for one sec," so i did and he was like "you did something wrong didnt you?" so i nodded and he was like "you hurt someone?" and i was trying so hard not to cry cause i didnt want to infront of my parents and i broke down and i was like "yes." and so he was like "how long has this been bothering you for?" and i was like "almost a year." so he was like then apologize. so i wrote him this whole heart-felt note, apologizing for everything i did and if i left anything out, it was meant to be in there. so i gave it to ash to give to him cause i was scared to death to do it myself. yes, kinda babyish but i didnt want to throw up on the poor kid. so i was shivering my ass off during study cause i was so nervous and she was suppose to be giving it to him then, and then i went up to bio and stressed even more. i ligit had a panic attack. i was so cold, and i couldnt breathe and i felt like i was either gonna pass out or throw up. i have never been so scared/stressed in my whole life.. well not that i can remember. he hasnt said anything to me yet.. but i know he got it. i said i hoped to talk to him monday so maybe hes just waiting for that.. i dont know. i changed my email and i havent seen him online so who knows.. time will tell i guess. in the mean time, i'll just hafta deal with my stomach lurching every time the phone rings, even though he dosent have my number.
crap, i gotta go. my moms going awol cause my rooms " a sty".. i'll try to write more tonight. before the weekends over i def. will if the rents let me. please comment and make my pathetic life a tad more interesting. if they're mean, i'm gonna delete it so dont even bother with it. <3 ya always - colleen*

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	zippiitteee dooo daaa!
Time:	1:36 pm.
Mood:	enraged.
Music:	Hanson - If only.

thank you.. thank you for completely destroying any bit of confidence i've ever had! silly me, i thought being friends actually meant being there unconditionally, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, someone you could call at 3.30 in the morning when your life is crashing down around you. but, me being the blonde i am, I WAS WRONG!! surprise, surprise.. this seems to of been happening a great deal lately. so as one of my best friends completely shot the good mood i was in, i'm left to think about what the hell she was thinking about and where she gets off saying all that crap to me?!?! we started off a nice simple conversation, talking about the movies she saw and then i bring up talking to my friend about my situation and asked him for advice, which he gave me, very nicely, which i appreciated a great deal. as i tell her this, she starts getting all moody. maybe because the focus wasnt completely on her, which is must be at all times for her to be completely satisfied. she tells me i dont listen to any of her advice and have had plenty of oppurtunities to smooth things out. maybe the reason i dont listen to her advice is because its not me! i dont know.. i'm just not the type to run up to a guy and start flirting mercisely or make out in the middle of a public bathroom. but you know that's my fault.. seeing as i dont have enough, what'd you call it? spunk? confidence? oo i'm sorry, when you called me a big chicken, all that confidence kinda drained outta my feet. ooo and then what'd you say? "you dont get where i'm going"? "you dont get alot of things about me anymore"? "maybe i've changed"? well, i must say you were a genius to realize that.. i'm surprised you noticed with your head so far up your ass. oh, and you were "just scared to see the truth about me." yupp, nice try hunny. seeing as i've known you since kindegarden, it's kinda hard not to know me. but you're right, you dont know a thing about me. i'm guessing you're sitting at home right now, talking on the phone to your boyfriend - oh, by the way, who did you call bawling when you broke up with him and "regretted it two seconds later"? funny, cause that call sounds pretty familiar. you know someone who "for the past many months have only cared about themselves" dosent seem like a person who would sit on the phone with you while you sobbed for an hour and finally got back together with him. oh and i'm not "trying at all to make this situation better?" you have no clue WHAT-SO-EVER what my life is like and how much i'm trying to make this better. i'm sorry, you must of missed that one when you were babbling on about how much you missed your boyfriend.
whatever.. you have no clue about me anymore.. you were right on that one. do whatever the hell you want. i'm sick of listeing to you.

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Time:	9:52 am.
Mood:	nerdy.
Music:	babyface - you were there.

didn't write yesterday.. not exactly busy just didnt feel like spending the time to update this. so um yeah, yesterday... woke up at like 9.00, took a shower and got ready and all that jazz, then left for the south shore plaza. got there around 12.00, met my aunt, and went to lunch then shopped for like 3 hours. didn't get too much like i usually do when her and my mom are together. none of us were really feeling the whole shopping thing, plus my aunt's neck is really messed up and she cant do anything for more than like 2 hours without feeling like she's gonna die. she cant work.. basically cant do much at all. she got in a train accident like 15 years ago and severed a disk and they cant do anything to fix it. she lives in stoughton, of all places, with her alcholic husband, and a house she cant take care of. bleck. it's all a mess but it's up to her, i guess.
so i came home and sat, then sat some more, talked on the phone with ash and courtney then went out with my parents. i rented "what a girl wants" (damn good movie -- oliver james ;D ) and watched that and alot of real world/road rules episodes, then went to bed.
i got this magazine yesterday at the mall and was about to cry in the middle of cvs. it was this page thing on o-town's "last concert before a break." it was like "o-town performed at the 'hard rock academy' on august 16th, as what they said was the last show before a 'break'. would this be the last we see of o-town as many emotional supporters in the front row thought it might be." i was like "shut the hell up!" grrr.. they broke up like almost 2 months ago, we know!!!!!!!!! i just wish they wouldnt put them in magazines anymore. as bad as it sounds, seeing as i was a MAJOR fan of theirs for like 4 years, i just wanna forget about them and move on... everytime i hear about them, it makes me wanna cry. i just remember like all their concerts and stuff, and i know this seems completely and 100% dorky, but i remember all the sights and sounds and feeling that were going through me during and before those concerts, that i'll probably never feel again. no one understands. i mean, i even sometimes get mad at myself for feeling the way i did about them. maybe if i get the chance i'll describe all those concerts and stuff, so i'll never forget them and maybe give people more of a chance to understand. we'll see though.
so todays my dad's birthday.. i'm going to the library with jackie at three, then out to dinner with my mom and grampy and dad for his birthday, then i dont know. not doing too much for new years eve. think i'm going to the movies or something. ok, well i better go. gotta get ready and stuff. <3 - colleen*

(( comment please.. maybe it'll make my life seem a tad less pathetic.))

*you were there when no one was... just when i thought nobody cared*
*you showed me love*
-i miss you baby-
i'm so so sorry

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	wasting time...
Time:	4:52 pm.
Mood:	frustrated.
Music:	bbmak - don't look down.

LAYER ONE
-- Name: colleen
-- Birthdate: 9.17
-- Birthplace: Boston, MA
-- Current Location: woburn, ma aka "the bin"
-- Eye Color: blue
-- Hair Color: blond
-- Height: 5'3
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: virgo

LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: irish/scottish
-- The shoes you wore today: my nike sneakers (white with a silver checky thing)
-- Your weakness: not saying what i'm thinking
-- Your fears: people i love dying without them knowing i love them, sharks, spiders, blood
-- Your perfect pizza: chicken pizza.. yes i'm a dork
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: i just wanna make high honors for once in my life.. i'd be really happy

LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: lol; ic ic
-- Your thoughts first waking up: another long ass day
-- Your best physical feature: my teeth / my hair
-- Your bedtime: pathetically early
-- Your most missed memory: when boys had cooties

LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: coke
-- MC donald's or Burger King: BK
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or Nike: nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither.. they both make me sick
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee

LAYER FIVE
-- smoke: no
-- Curse: sometimes
-- Sing: off tune, yes but i sign anyway
-- Take a shower everyday: once a day, at least
-- Have a crush (es): hell yes
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes, i do
-- Want to go to college: yeah
-- Like high school: i do =0)
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Believe in yourself: most of the time
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: pretty good self-confidence, hope other people do
-- Think you're a health freak: not particularly
-- Get along with your parents: most of the time
-- Like thunderstorms: ek, kinda
-- Play an instrument: learning to play acoustic guitar

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: yeah
-- Smoked: no
-- Done a drug: no
-- Had Sex: no
-- Made Out: sadly, no
-- Gone on a date: no
-- Gone to the mall? yupp
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: bleck, i dont like oreos
-- Eaten sushi: no, but i wanna try it
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: no
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: no, i never have

LAYER SEVEN: Ever..
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: no
-- If so, was it mixed company: no
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught " doing something ": what did you have in mind? ;0)
-- Been called a tease: yeah
-- Gotten beaten up: almost
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Changed who you were to fit in: no

LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: 23/24 around that
-- Numbers and Names of Children: collin matthew, chelsea lynn, aaron michael, and madison elizabeth
--where do you want to go to college: UCLA
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: teacher, writer, something musical or in the entertainment business
-- What country would you most like to visit: ireland.. i wanna meet some of my family i never have; or italy/france

Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:	5:37 pm.
Mood:	hungry.
Music:	hanson - save me.

What they call you~
1.) Name: colleen
2.)Pen name: ? colleen ?
3.) Name your father wanted to give you: erin

~If the answer is yes, be sure to elaborate~
4.) Have you ever been stuck in a hole?: yeah, when my friend's dad burried us
5.) If you were in a hole, how did you get out?: i got myself out.. he made us
6.) Have someone of the opposite gender ever asked to go out with you?: yes, how do elaborate on that one?
7.) Have you ever asked anyone of the same gender as you to go out with you?: nnnoo way, i dont ask guys out
8.) Ever been to San Diego?: i flew through it but i wanna go.
9.) Have you ever seen an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?: ha ha.. morbidly obese? i wish. it'd be hilarious
10.) Are you an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?: in my other life i was ;0)
11.) Do you have a cousin with a mohawk?: no, i'd disown them
12.) Do you own a dreamcatcher?: when i was little i did... i dont know what happened to it
13.) Do you know what nail polish tastes like?: it smells bad.. i dont go around tasting nailpolish very often
14.) How old is Phil?: phil is 38
15.) Who is the most uneducated person you know?: my cat that runs after the flashlight
16.) What would you do if you awoke to find yourself tied to your bed and completely naked save for the wax encrusted to your chest?: shrug and go back to sleep
17.) Who is your daddy and what does he do?: my dad is dennis and he is a morgage broker
18.) Do you own a gold scarf?: i have a purple .& gray one that i hate and never wear but ash is getting me a colored one for christmas
19.)Has anyone ever thrown a drink in your face?: water when we had a water fight over the summer
20.) Were you ever a cowboy for Halloween?: sadly, i think i did
21.) Have you ever baked anything?: no.. my mom dosent let me near a stove. enough said
22.) Has anyone ever called you 'cute'?: yeah.. i didnt find it flattering
23.) Have you ever peed your pants in a public place?: when i was like 2, maybe?
24.) Is your favourite colour blue?: nope.. i love pink.
25.) Will you take me home?: of course! =0)

A. American Beauty: 1
B. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure: 0
C. Clerks: 0
D. Donnie Darko: 0
E. Empire Records: 0
F. Ferris Bueler's Day Off: 10
G. Gigli: 0
H. Heavy Weights: 2
I. Igby Goes Down: 2
J. Jumanji: 1
K. Kill Bill Volume 1: 0
L. Little Nicky: 1
M. Mission Impossible: 1
N. Nightmare On Elm Street: 1
O. Orange County: 3
P. Pirates Of The Caribbean: 4 - orlando bloom baby!
Q. Queen Of The Damned: 0
R. Requiem For A Dream: 0
S. Silence Of The Lambs: from behind my eyes - 1
T. Trainspotting: 0
U. Urban Legend: 1
V. Vanilla Sky: 1
W. Waking Life: 0
X. X-Men: 0
Y. Y Tu Mama Tambien: 0
Z. Zoolander: 1

[Best girl friend]: ash/jackie
[Best guy friend]: the pm- all of em equally
[Boyfriend/Girlfriend]: nope
[What type automobile do you drive]: my feet come in very handy
[What type automobile do you wish you drove]: audie convertible/beetle
[Do you have a job] : i work for my dad sometimes
[Do you like being around people]: most of the time. but if they annoy me i'm done

Who:

[Do you argue the most with]: my mom
[Do you always get along with]: jackie
[Is the most trustworthy] : ash/jackie
[Makes you laugh the most]: ash/elana
[Has been there through all the hard times]: ash/elana
[Is the most blunt] : elana
[Is the smartest]: tia

My Favorites:

[song]: o-town - all or nothing (always will be, always has been)
[color] : pinl or anything bright
[color to wear]: i dont care.. as long as its cute i'll wear it
[tv show] : gilmore girls/ knock first (watch me on it soon! =0) )
[types of movies]: comedy

Do You . . .

[want a tattoo]: maybe if it wasnt painful
[ever have the falling dream]: yeah.. and then you jump awake.. i hate those
[have a computer in your room]: no >=0(
[have any regrets]: plenty
[are you happy]: most of the time

What . . .

[if you had 10 mins to live]: spend it with the people i love
[how romantic are you? [1-10]: i'm a sap. like a 8-9.. possibly a ten <=0/
[memory/thing you miss most]: st rays.. those were good times
[occupation you want]: i wanna be a actress/singer or a designer would be pretty cool

STUFF

* which finger is your favorite?: my left thumb?
* what do you do to vent anger?: write, run around, laugh
* are you passive or aggressive?: passive - sometimes i hate that about myself
* which was your best halloween costume?: i was annie one year.. a lady made me sing so i went home
* have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide: no way.. too final
* what is your soap opera name? (middle name + street name) margaret fiftyseventh
* would you ever bungee jump?: oh hell yeah.. i wanna go hang gliding too

*WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...

* quote from a movie : "our birds heads are falling off!" - Jim Carey - Dumb .&. Dumber aka ash .&. me
* day of the week: saturday
* place to wash: shower downstairs
* alcoholic drink: none.. bad experiences
* love song: rascal flatts - like i am
* what is the best "unexpected thing" a guy could do for a girl?: just a kiss outta nowhere is really cute i think
* what do you really think of britney spears?: i love her to death.. she knows what shes all about and dosent care what people say. shes a really good role model minus the madonna kiss thing
* what are your true feelings toward the opposite sex?: usually like em unless they piss me off
* how many times did you fail your permit and/or drivers license test?: we'll see.
* give one random fact about yourself: i have a cat, christy

I WANT: a boyfriend who honestly loves me
I HAVE: to pee really bad
I WISH: i could find a really all around good guy who really likes me
I MISS: srs, o-town back in the good ole days, going to concerts, summer
I HEAR: my mom talking on the phone
I SEARCH: for my slipper
I WONDER: if i'll ever get a good boyfriend
I LOVE: chocolate
I ACHE: in my knee
I CARE: about too much
I ALWAYS: try to be optomistic
I AM NOT: what people think i am
I DANCE: to anything
I SING: off-key
I CRY: with my mom
I DO NOT ALWAYS: do my best work
I FIGHT: i dont know.. i just dont
I WRITE: stories that once i get sick of, start over
I WIN: sometimes
I LOSE: everything.. my rooms too cluttered
I USE: rusk hair shiner serum
I LISTEN: even though i dont always seem to be
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: nextdoor ("go home colleen")
I NEED: food
I AM HAPPY: when i'm with my friends
I SHOULD HAVE: done more homework today

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	grrr
Time:	5:51 pm.
Mood:	bitchy.
Music:	98 degrees - the way you want me to.

ok. so my journal is definately boring so whoevers reading this god bless you - get help. this day is one of those never ending days from hell. so i wake up at 6.30 to my dad starting the snowblower. i mean WTF?!?! who the hell needs to go out at 6.30 on a SATURDAY morning?!?!?! definately not me seeing as i have no life and spend all my time editing my journal that no one reads or comments on. good self confidence booster. so then me and dad drop off my mom at the hairdressers in the middle of a godamn blizzard and go try to pick up a wreath at mahoney's but all the sane people stayed home today and werent there. SO then we go to blockbuster and i run to drop of "pirates of carribean" and i slip and fall flat on my ass and so finally when i manage to get up with the help of some poor old homeless guy that tend to live at the bottom of my street aka the ghetto of woburn, my godamn shoe falls off - which is what i have to thank for my spill - and my socks and the butt of my jeans are completely soked through. so i come home to take a shower and the heat, as we found out, has gone caput. so i'm suppose to be at the nutcraker at winchester high in 2 hours and i still hafta get ready. sooo then we find out the nutcrakers canceled so i cant get together or see anyone today because my parents are hermits and dont wanna leave the house. yes, i'm presently telling myself to shut the hell up but NO!! i dont feel like it! everything that annoys me is coming out now - (.1.) my mom - ok.. no i'm not the perfect angel she was when she was my age and no i do not get straight a's but then again i'm not the natural einstein she is. so leave me alone. yes, i procrastinate and dont always get things done till the last minute but at least i actually leave my house and have a life and dont spend all my time studying. ggrrr.. oh and then the one day i stay home from school cause i feel like my heads gonna explode she thinks i'm faking it and tells me i'm "not taking another day off from school". yupp i really wanted to be bed ridden all day yesterday. >=0 (.2.) keeping everything inside cause i'm too scared to open my mouth. well the gloves are coming off!! i'm sick of taking shit from people and not saying a word about it! (.3.) people who rub it in your face that they have a boyfriend.. look, i could give a flying rats ass less if you have a frickin boyfriend or not! i have enough to worry about without constantly being reminded about what you two are doing to eachother behind bushes. save it for someone who cares. (.4.) 4th graders who are worried about finding a boyfriend. good lord - get a frickin life! any 10 year old who is seriously crying themselves to sleep at night over a boy will be in therapy by the time they're 13. go play with barbies and stop pissing me off.
i'm pretty sure theres more but i was getting too aggravated to keep going. oh but one more thing --- my cousins moving. no it dosent sound like a big deal but seeing as she knew i had friends down there and we were really tight she would realize i wouldnt be all to happy about this. maybe i'm an inconsiderate slutty little bitch that only thinks about herself (what my whole family called me and you know what?!? i hate you all too! you dont even know me so shut the fuck up!) i dont know.. maybe they could consider someone else than themselves for a change. i dont even know my family anymore --- maybe i used to but both sides have completely changed... they all have their own lives, their own families, and their own opinions.. the closest to a brother i'll ever have, i havent had a conversation with since i was about 10 and the saddest part is, i dont even care.. he can do whatever he wants. screw it, i'm sick of even trying anymore.. my family will never be close and i've accepted it. i'll never have a big brother i can count on to stick up for me. i'll deal for myself.
ok.. well i feel much better. i g2b, i was suppose to be off the computer an hour ago and the rents are going beserk.. comment if you love me and wanna cheer me up. =*( <3 - colleen

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	yeah i'm a LOSER
Time:	3:23 pm.
Mood:	cold.
Music:	ruuuben studard - sorry for 2004.

Have You Ever

1. Kissed your cousin?: on the cheek
2. Ran away?: when i was like three
3. Pictured your crush naked?: he he.. maybe. ;-)
4. Actually seen your crush naked?: i wish...
5. Broken someone's heart?: yes.. and still feel horrible about it
6. Been in love?: yes
7. Cried when someone died?: yes
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have?: yupp..
9. Broken a bone?: my finger
10. Drank alcohol?: yeah
11. Lied?: i used to but i made a promise to myself to never lie again.. it's too hard
12. Cried in school?: yes

Which is Better

13. Coke or Pepsi?: coke
14. Sprite or 7UP?: sprite
15. Girls or guys?: guys
16. Flowers or candy?: both would be fine
17. Scruffy or clean shaven?: either.. i dont want a guy with a beard or anything but like a 5 o'clock shadow is hott
18. Quiet or loud?: quiet mysterious guys are hott but someone who will open up.. i dont want a mute
19. Blondes or brunettes?: brunettes
20. Nice or playas?: nice
21. Tall or short?: tall
22. Pants or boxers?: boxers

With the Opposite Sex

23. What do you notice first?: teeth
24. Last person you slow danced with?: umm.. i dont know his name =(
25. Worst question to ask?:whats that smell?
26. Last person you showered with?: um, no.
27. Had a great time with the oppostie sex?: pembroke was a blast.

What is

28. Your good luck charm?: my clatter ring
29. The person you hate the most?: not mentioning any names.
30. The best thing that happened to you today?: getting my vanilla chai tea cause i was sooo effin cold.

Favorite

31. Color(s)?: pink, yellow, orange - other bright colors
32. Movie(s)?: dirty dancing, meet the parents, dumb & dumber, titanic, the lion king...
33. Book(s)?: too many...
34. Subject in school?: english
35. Ice cream?: butter crunch
36. Holiday?: christmas
37. Season?: summer
38. Breakfast food?: i hate breakfast
39. Place to go on your honeymoon?: someplace exotic

Who

40. Makes you laugh the most?: ash or elana
41. Makes you smile?: all of my friends
42. Gives you a funny feeling when you see them?: twitch =) (our little codename)
43. Has a crush on you?: angelo and fabio ;-) ily guys.. well they called us hott and told us they wanted us so do the math...
44. Do you have a crush on?: the kid i see at church.. ha ha; too many others
45. Can make you feel better no matter what?: elana, ash, tia, jackie, courtney
46. Is easier to talk to, guys or girls?: depends

Do You Ever

47. Sit by the phone waiting for a call all night?: no
48. Save AOL conversations?: yeah
49. Save E-Mails?: yeah
50. Wish you were someone else?: when i'm in a bad mood
51. Wish you were a member of the oppostie sex?: nope
52. Cried because of someone's mean words?: elana.. ha ha.. i still love ya!

Best

54. Perfume?: clinique happy on me
55. Kiss?: any kind
56. Romantic memory?: ummm.. aint ringing a bell
57. Most recent advice given to you?: "study" - my history teacher.
58. Fallen for your best friend?: ::sigh:: did but then it turned out he was a jerk
59. Made out with "just a friend"?: nope

Have You Ever

61. Been in love?: yes
62. Been in lust?: yes
63. Used someone?: ek... define used
64. Been used?: dont think so
65. Been cheated on?: no
66. Been kissed?: yes
67. Done something you regret?: yes
68. What is it?: ooo too many things.. breaking this kids heart by lying to him. and a year later i still get a huge pit in my stomach everytime i think of him or see him.

*---im a klepto =)---*

[my name is]: colleen magaret
[in the morning I am]: exhausted
[all I need is]: family, friends, happiness, love
[love is]: something you need, unexplainable, undeniable... everything
[I'm afraid of]: people i love dying without knowing i love them, sharks, spiders, blood.. losing someone i love
[I dream about]: i dont really have dreams

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: bleck.. havent we been over this?
[been rejected]: not really.. i dont put myself in those kinda situations..
[rejected someone]: yes
[used someone]: =/
[been cheated on]: no
[done something you regret]: yes.. all the time

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: jackie, elana, and mike
[hugged]: mi madre
[you instant messaged]: andrew
[you laughed with]: elana

-D O .Y O U-
[color your hair?] no
[ever get off the damn computer]: yes
[habla espanol]: yes

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: no
[obsessive]: no
[could you live without the computer?]: yes
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 140
[what's your favorite food?]: any kinda chicken/pasta
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: oranges, strawberries, apples, etc
[drink alchohol?]: no.. bad experiences
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: both
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: i hate physical pain but i can handle emotional pain.. i'll get over it eventually
[trust others way too easily?]: yeah.. my biggest flaw

-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken?]: 1
[of hearts i have broken?]: 1 - i broke my own heart when i broke his
[of boys i have kissed?]: i dont know.. i'm not gonna count it
[of girls i have kissed?]: 0
[of continents i have lived in?]: 1
[of tight friends?]: really close - 4
[of cd's that i own?]: too many to count
[of scars on my body?]: 2
[of things in my past that i regret?]: alot

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	quiz...
Time:	3:34 pm.
Mood:	creative.
Music:	sixpence.. - dont dream its over.

(((..::who am i::..)))
.00.My name be: colleen
.01.I've aged: 14 years
.02.I live in: woburn, ma
.03.I want to go to: hawaii
.04.My siblings are: no one
.05.Things i like are: my friends, my family, music, dancing, talking, shopping...
.06.Things i dont like are: sharks, blood, spiders, people who are snobby, pathological liars, and girls who flirt with guys even though they already have a boyfriend = sluts

(((..::people::..)))
.07.I like people who: funny, can let me be me, know how to have a good time, and honest
.08.I dont like people who: think they're the shit and make other people feel below them
.09.My favorite person is: elana, ash, jackie, and tia
.10.I like her because: them because i always have a good time with them, and i can be myself with them
.11.My least favorite person is: not mentioning names
.12.I dont like them because: she defines slut
.13.If i could hug someone right now, i would hug: my crush.. anything to be close to them
.14.As far as friends go, i have: an awesome crew, a tight family and a good personality

(((..::love-life and things::..))) answer these about your crush or boy/girl friend ( if u dont have one.. leave blank)
.16.Do you have a crush or boy/girl friend?: crush
.17.And his/her name would be?: ha ha nice try
.18.Do you talk to them often?: as much as i see them.. they live kinda far away
.19.How old is she/he?: 14/15
.20.How far have you gotten with this person?: hug goodbye
.21.How far are you willing to get?: honestly all the way if it felt right
.22.Does this person share your interests?: mostly
.23.Are you romatically involved with this person or is it just a fling?: niether right down.. hopefully romantically involved in the future
.24.Could you imagine the rest of your life with this person?: when i turn 15 we'll talk
.25.Do you believe in love?: yes
.26.Do you "love" this person?: in "like".. not love yet but it could happen
.27.Have you noticed that you like this person sporadically or do you love them every second of the day?: i think of them a lot and i miss him when i dont see him so if thats love every second of the day then yes.
.28.Must a kiss be sacred?: no
.29.Must sex be saved for marriage?: maybe.. its more of a spur of the moment kinda thing i think.. but if it happens that way then it happens
.31.How long was your longest relationship?: 4 months
.32.How long was your shortest?: 1 week
.33.Do you believe in love at 1st sight, or is it just extreme attraction?: extreme attraction.. someone can catch your eye and turn out to be a complete asshole.. you hafta talk to em first
.34.How would you describe your ideal mate?: honest, sincere, sweet, passionate, funny, know how to have fun, and someone i'm attracted to

(((..::religion::..))
.35. What is your religion, if any?: catholic (?)
.36. Do you practice it, or just believe in it strongly?: if going to church counts as practicing it then yes, but not much more than that
.37. Do you believe in God,Jesus,Heaven, and Hell?: i think so.. some of the time
.38. Why do you believe in what you do?: i just do.. i cant explain it

((..::Morally::..))
.39.Have you ever been drunk?: no
.40.Do you want to get drunk;or; would you do it again?: kinda.. i'd be an experience
.41.Have you ever done drugs?: no
.42.Have you ever stolen/shoplifted?: no
.43.Have you tried to commit suicide: no
.44.Are you the innocent looking type?: i think so.. people take advantage of it sometimes
.45.Are you really innocent?: eehh... i guess
.46.Have you ever cheated on you boyfriend or girlfriend?: no
.47.Are you a virgin?: yeah
.48.Why or why not?: didnt feel right
.49.Are you racist or discriminatory?: not at all
.50.Have you been skinny dipping?: yeah but not recently
.51.Do you enjoy nudity, whether you are nude, or maybe someone else?: not really
.52.Where you caught doing any of these bad things above(i.e. drinking,doing drugs,stealing)?: no.
.53.Name some things you have done that you regret: too many to name
.54.Would you say that you are open-minded?: very

((..::Personality::..))
-Are you more...
.55.crazy or conserved?: crazy
.56.loud or quiet?: loud
.57.pretty or ugly?: pretty.. at least i hope
.58.over-weight or under-weight?: 120.. average?
.59.outgoing or shy?: outgoing
.60.emotional or nonemotional?: emotional.. but not a basketcase
.61.perverted or pure?: perverted
.62.simple or complex?: simple
((..::Music::..))
.63.Do you prefer bands or just singers?: bandseither
.64.Name some bands or artists that you like: o-town, kelly clarkson, boys 2 men, dixie chicks, jackie salvucci, kenny chesney, man - to many to name
.65.What genres of music would you say you listen to?: pop.. hip hop.. r&b.. country.. probably considered a teeny bopper
.66.Do you like certain pop songs that you just think are really catchy?: god yeah
.67.Are you in a band?: nope
.68.If not, would you like to be in one?: i'd be pretty cool
.69.If you were in one, what would you do;if you are, what do you do in the band?: vocals.. i wanna play acoustic guitar

((..::Labels and image/style::..))
.70.Do you label people and yourself?: yeah but i dont mean to
.71.If so, what is your label: probably prep
.72.Do you like the way you look?: yeah.. i guess.
.73.What makes the way you look especially unique?: my eyes and my hair
.74.Do you wear ties like avril?: no
.75.What do you think of her style?: if she didnt have such a bad attitude maybe it'd be kinda cool but its not my style

((..::randomish::..))
.76.Do you prefer lots and lots of friends, or a few close ones?: a few close ones
.77.What are your feelings towards rain?: i like it alot
.78.Who/What gets you really excited when you see them/it?: concerts.. celebrities.. my friends.. my family.. i get excited at absolutley nothing..
.79.Do you want something/someone that you can never have?: all the time
.80.Whats your best memory?: st rays 03, otown concerts -> meeting them, meeting jesse bradford and eliza dushku, summers
.81.Have you ever been on a real date?: no
.82.Make out or take out?: make out(?) possibly take out ;-)
.83.Do you have more guy friends or chick friends?: girls
.84.Have you ever been accused of being homosexual?: yeah but not seriously
.85.Describe one of your embarrassing moments: man theres too many.. when i choked on my gum during my theology presentation - that was a good one
.86.Do you like your parents?: usually
.87.How about slushies, do you like those?: bleck - no
.88.Do you own a digital camera?: ny dad does
.89.Would you write a paper for someone if they paid you?: nope
.90.Define "cool": depends on your outlook on life
.91.Have you ever cooked dinner?: my mom dosent let me near a stove
.92.Are you forced to listen to the national anthem every morning at your school?: nope
.93.When you are using a lead pencil, do you let a lot of lead out or just a little?: a little.. pretty sad i pay attention to these things..
.94.What color is your toothbrush?: green and white
.95.Have you ever secretly desired to wear a eye patch?: all the time
.96.Do you spit or swallow?: excuse me?
.97.What size underwear do you wear?: small
.98.Does it really have the same great taste?: sure.. it'd help if i actually understood that question
.99.Slippers or flipflops? slippers
.100.Oddly enough, its over..: right

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	quiz
Time:	3:17 pm.
Mood:	anxious.
Music:	britney spears - toxic.

1. What is your full name: colleen margaret white
2. nickname?: coll, alvin, bee, colleenie, game, nightime (weird ones made up on the way to otown, while we were completely drunk)
3. b~day? sept 17th
4. Age: 14
5. Sex: yes please ;D, sorry -> female
6. Social Security: idk

7. Where were you born?: Boston
8. where you live now: woburn
9. Zodiac sign: virgo
10. What grade are you in and what school do you attend? freshman at arlington catholic hs
11. What are your parents names: peggy and dennis
12. siblings and their ages? only child
13. do you get along: ~~~~~~~~
14. Pets: cat - christy
15. Righty or Lefty: righty
16. bedtime: i don't have a bedtime but i go to bed early- like around 10 unless i'm out
17. Email: sweetkicks917@aol.com
18. Hair color: blonde
19. Eye color: blue
20. Do you wear contacts or glasses? should but i dont
21. Do you have any piercings? my ears
22. tattoos: nope
23. scars: leg, arm
24. Height: 5'3"
25. Do you wear any rings: yeah, a clatter ring and other ones sometimes
26. What shoes do you wear: nike
27. drove a car: nope
28. met someone new: today
29. done laundry: today
30. cried: this week cause i've never felt so sick in my life
31. wore a skirt: friday to the mall
32. How are you today? i dont feel good
33. wearing: pink sweatpants, sleeveless white tank top, a dan hat and slipppers
34. thinking about: how much my stomach hurts right now
35. What does your hair look like at the moment? down, curly, in a white cloth headband
36. What song are you listening to right now? watching real world/road rules the gauntlet
37. What was the last thing you ate and/or drank? a chicken cutlet sandwich when i went out to lunch with my parents like 2 hours ago
38. How is the weather right now? windy, cold, sunny
39. Last person u talked to on the phone: elana
40. watching: real world/ road rules....
41. what time is it: 3.25

*****DO YOU BELIEVE IN ******
42. yourself: sometimes
43. friends: yes
44. best friends of the opposite sex: yes
45. santa claus: no
46. tooth fairy: no
47. angels: yes
48. ghosts: no, but i believe in spirits
49. aliens: no
50. God: sometimes

*******MORE ABOUT YOU!*******
51. what are the last four digits of ur phone number? 8661
52. Do you like the person who sent this to you? no.. he called my best friend a slut and a bitch >=o
53. how do you eat an Oreo? twist it in half, lick off the frosting, then eat the cookie part
54. If you were a crayon what color would you be: pink, yellow or orange
55. Have you ever almost died: yeah, i was choking and my dad had to do the hymlech on me
56. What's the best advice ever given to you? you get what you give
57. Have you ever won any special award? spelling bee... more but i forget
58. Do you like to dance? LOVE to dance, i've danced for 10 years
59. Worst sickness you've ever had? pnemonia in 7th grade
60. What's the stupidest thing you have ever done? did a seat drop on my friends hard wood floor
61. What's the next CD you are going to buy: britney spears once i have enough money
62. What sport do you hate the most: volleyball -> too painful
63. Place for a dream house: malibu, ca
64. How many kids do you want to have? like 4 -> i want a big family since i never had one
65. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone: sprained my wrist and my knee
66. Who do you tell your dreams to: ash, elana, .&. tia
67. What are you most scared of? someone i love dying without knowing i love them, biggest stupid fear :sharks!
68. How many tv's do you have in your house? 3
69. Do you have your own? no
70. do you have your own phone line? yes
71. do you sleep with a stuffed animal? yeah
72. Are you a flirty person? can be
73. Are you shy? no, but i can be quiet
74. Are you outgoing? very
75. Who is the loudest friend you have? elana
76. Who is the quietest friend you have? tia
77. Who looks the worst in the morning: we all look equally rough
78. Who's the messiest eater: ash - haha.. just with tea (jk hunn)
79. Who's the slowest eater: tia
80. Who's the bossiest: me? =/
81. Who is the 'mom' outta your friends: jackie
82. who are the top 3 hottest guys/girls u know: i dont want em to read it.
83. who's the weirdest: we're all equally weird, just at different times
84. who is the funniest: i'm the comic relief
85. who do you go to for advice?: elana, ash
86. who do you think about most when you're not happy? the guy i love who dosent know i love him
87. who do you cry with? my mom
88. what's the best feeling in the world?: love
89. when's the last time you cried: when otown broke up
90. is cheerleading a sport? yupp at least i think it is
91. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? "the world may never know"
92. Which came first the chicken or the egg: the egg
93. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: Root Beer
94. vanilla or chocolate: chocolate
95. Love or lust: both -> i love being in love but lust comes easier
96. silver or gold: silver
97. Have you ever gone skinny dipping: yes
98. What's your favorite color: pink
99. What's your favorite band/singer: all music -> always will be o-town
100. What do you dream about: i can never remember my dreams
101. Favorite song? jessica simpson - with you
102. Do you like to sing in the shower? yeah, until my dad turns on the cold water to shut me up
103. Had an imaginary friend: when i was like 2
104. Wanted to "hook up" with a friend: yupp
105. Cried during a movie: too many to count
106. Had a crush on a teacher: bleck - hell no!
107. What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?: i wanna go back to bed

*****Preference*****
108. Sleep on your back, stomach or side: side
109. Adidas, Nike, or Reeboks?: nike
110. Croutons or Bacon Bits?: crutons
111. 2 doors or 4 (on a car)?: 4
112. Bridges or Tunnels? tunnels - i hate heights
113. One pillow or two?: two
114. Salt or butter flavored popcorn?: salt
115. Fizzy or still water?: still
116.Red whine or white wine?: white

*****Word Association - (1st Thing That Comes To Mind)*****
117. Rubber Gloves: blink 182
118. Disney Character: simba
119. Fast Food place: mky d's
120. Board Game: monopoly
121. Rock: dirt
122. Blue: ocean
123. Wet: water
124. Cry: "a walk to remember"
125. Peanut Butter: jelly
126. Hay: is for horses
127. Paper: route
128. Wood: saw
129. Yellow: sun
130. Laugh: funny stuff
131. Ugly: nothing - completely blank
132. Happy: and you know it clap your hands

******YOU AND LOVE******
133. Do you believe in love? yes
134. Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? no - but i'm in love with someone
135. do you have a crush? yes
136. who is your crush? aint getting that one outta me
137. are you sending this to your crush? i dont know how to answer that
138. do you believe in love at first sight? yes
139. What song do you want played at your wedding: etta james - "at last"
140. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: someone i love and loves me as much as i love them
141. Do you find yourself attractive: sometimes more than others
142. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile, build
143. are you too shy to ask someone out? i dont ask guys out.. they gotta make the first move

*****When was the last time you...*****

205. Took a shower: this morning
206. Watched Bambi: when i was like 9 - i hate that movie - too sad
207. Got a real letter: in school on wednesday
208. Wished upon a star: like a month ago
209. Asked someone for forgiveness: my mom after i told her she looked like a cone head cause of her hair -> we were juss kidding.. but really- like 6 months ago.. i dont usually go getting myself in situations where i have to.
210. Hugged someone: thursday
211. Kissed someone: too long ago
212. Ate something: like 2 hours ago
213. Called someone: ½ hour ago
*******What is your...******* >

214. Good luck charm: my clatter ring
215. Bedroom like: getting it done over soon.. possibly on "knock first" but it's yellow, and green and blue and not me at all.
216. Favorite Breakfast food: i hate breakfast
217. Favorite lunch food: salad
218. Best thing that happened to you today: i saw the kid i love and talked to him for a while

*****What do you think about the following***** >
219. Abortion: whatever- its their choice
220. Homosexuality: personally i think its kinda gross but i'm not homophobic and i wont completely judge someone on it but still; just as long as it doesn’t interfere with me
221. Rap: some of it
222. Classical: good for older people
223. Oldies: love older music; something me and my parents can share
224. Swing: good to dance to

**********PICK ONE: THIS OR THAT**********

225. lights on/off: on
226. sun or rain or snow? snow
227. mickey D's (McDonalds) or BK (burger king): bk
228. do you like scary movies or happy movies better?: happy movies
229. backstreet boys or NSYNC? bsb
230. on the phone or in person: in person.
231. summer or winter: summer!
232. chocolate or white milk: chocolate
233. CD or tape: CD
234. hugs or kisses: kisses
235. cake or pie: cake
236. cats or dogs: both but i love my cat
237. mud or jello wrestling? uuuummmm, mud?
238. skiing or boarding? boarding
239. day or night? night
240. sunset or sunrise: sunrise
241. diamond or pearls: diamonds

*******YOUR FAVES*******

242. candy: milk chocolate
243. Beverage: arizona iced tea
244. cartoon characters: tom and jerry
245. sport(s): basketball
246. Song: jessica simpson - with you .&. otown - craving
247. favorite actor or actress?: jesse bradford
248. Favourite movie: lion king
249. tv show: used to be making the band but now real world
250. favourite food: pasta
251. ice cream: chocolate
252. subject: english
253. shampoo: neutrogena clean
254. favourite month: july
255. favourite number: 5
256. favourite person to talk to online: ash

******HAVE YOU EVER******
257. cut your hair yourself: no
258. been on stage: yes
260. Ever thought an animated character was hot: no
261. kept a secret from everyone: yes
262. been hurt emotionally: yes
263. been in a car accident: no
264. put a body part on fire for amusement: no
265. drank: yes
266. smoked: no
267. broke the law: no
268. ran from the cops: no
269. made yourself cry to get outta trouble: yes
270. tried to kill yourself? nooo way, aint good with pain
271. made your self throw up? no
272. ever been in love: yes
273. loved someone so much it made you cry: yes

******RANDOM QUESTIONS******
274. What is the best "unexpected thing?": love
275. The most common use for Vaseline: i used it on a cat to make it heal cause i heard it made the pain lessin but it didnt work to well
276. What was the name of your childhood blanket?: i didnt have a blanket but i had a teddy - L.T. (little teddy)
277. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: yes
278. Who is the last person that you got mail from?: kathleen
279. Have you ever been convicted of a crime?: no
280. Make 3 Wishes: too personal
281. Which stores would you choose to Max your credit card?: american eagle
282. What do you do most often when you are bored?: write
283. What words or phrases do you overuse: sweet, and alrighty
284. Funniest Moments: too many to name but putting together elana's chair and doing a seat drop on ash's floor
285. Humiliating moments: acting like a ditz in theology
286. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?: no
287. Worst memories: idk.. dont really have many
288. Best memories: the cape, the kaboozie family in maine, graduation '03 week, srs class of 03

********ONE FINAL NOTE**********

289. who sent this 2 you: dont feel like mentioning the moron's name
290. name one nice thing about the person who sent this to you: he should think before he talks
291. Do you like filling these out: I had nothing better to do
292. How many people are you sending this to? my blurty
293. do you want you friends to send it back? it'd be cool
294. who will respond to this email fastest: i dunno
295. Who is the least likely to respond: i dunno
296. What is the first thing that comes to mind?: i should probably go clean my room before my mom goes beserk
297. Who would you say you can trust most? : ash, elana, tia
298. Did you ever use a guy/girl to make someone jealous? : sadly yeah and pathetically it worked
299. Are you a virgin?: yes

Comments: Add Your Own.