|
|
Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
| |
6:53 am
|
shit. i got so smashed last night. it was lots of fun.
gave my number to some random guy, john i think?
hmmmm.
well
was fun.
should do more often.
now i have to work.
yea, its before 7 in the morning
i'm a crazy mother fucker
current mood:  tired
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
| |
4:28 pm
|
i hate getting fucked over.
i feel so fucking pathetic. i thought we were going to have an awesome night, and my parents were cool with everything, too. that rarely happens for me, so everything was set. but then i get a call which, summed up, told me "oh, well i'd like to hang out with you later when more important people don't want to chill with me."
umm
i don'twant to be that girl
so my new years eve will be spent by my self, feeling sorry for my loser ass.
i wish i had someone who cared for me.
current mood:  sad
current music: deathcab for cutie- title and registration
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, December 30th, 2003
| |
11:48 pm
|
so i guess you could say i just "snuck out"
tomorrow is new years eve
i want to chill with cody
i'm just wondering how i'm going to pull this one off.
bye now
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
9:50 pm
|
today was depressing.
i went to LA with mom and dad to go to a u of michigan "tailgate" for the rosebowl. just a lunch and reception deal. but god. i swear my dad is always so fucking miserable. just his presense puts me in a pissy mood. anyway, afterward i wanted to go to the urban outfitters on melrose. bad idea. dad gets lost. everyone's pissy. we finally make it. after me browsing for like, 10 minutes, my moms bitching about taking too long. they practically pull me out of the store, so i'm pissed. "lauren why are you so immature?" me-"fuck off." ok, i'm not that bad ass, whatever. i just listened to bright eyes the whole way home. listening to someone else bitch makes me feel better.
so i've just been in a really crappy mood all day. i don't even have a reason, either. i'm just thinking about new years eve tomorrow, and what plans do i have? oh, that's right. none. fuck i hate bakersfield. i just can't wait to go to college and start over on everything.
and this whole cody situation is pissing me off. i want to just ask him whats going on. are we going out again, does he really like me or am i just something to occupy down time. but its not like i can ask those things now without sounding like an obsessive pill.
godd.
so now i am stuck home, watching rich girls marathon with my sister.
how fucking awesome am i.
oh yea, and drinking my parents vodka with sprite.
badass i am.
bitch.
current mood: depressed
current music: bright eyes- puella quam amo est pulchra
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 29th, 2003
| |
12:11 am
|
so i went on a movie date.
it was really nice.
that is all.
gooooodnight.
current mood:  content
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, December 28th, 2003
| |
6:00 pm
|
dude. my parents don't let me do shit. i swear. i'm a fucking senior in high school and a MAJOR exception has to be made for me to be out past what... 1030? this is fucking bullshit. my parents are soooooooooo gay.
fuck fuck fuck fuck
current mood:  angry
current music: elliot smith- no name #2
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
2:12 pm - oh dearie.
|
well i've been avoiding updating because i'm so behind, but i don't have anything better to do right now.
so what's new?
LIAM HITTING ON ME, THAT'S WHAT.
dirty, i know, i know.
dude.
it was so fucking unexpected.
i am NEVER going to see a movie with him again. bad santa sucked, too.
liam, you made it all the more shitty.
ummmm
christmas, ah, yes.
i got an ipod!
fuckkkk yea bitches.
40 gig. i love it i love it.
g-ma gave us all $500 again. guad, how i love you so.
so i think i'm going to re-buy the camera i dropped in the toilet.
wooooooooo
but christmas was really good this year. i got cute other presents, too. scarves up the ass, underwear, hell, even a lap desk. so all is well here.
new news?
boy.
a certain male has expressed an "attraction" in me. hm. well, i've liked him for a while, but he's recently single, so i don't know if he's just trying to get with me for play, or if he's really likes me. so... i think i'm going to have to play it safe for a while.
ok, i'm going to the mall
bye now.
current mood:  anxious
current music: bright eyes- when the curious girl realizes she is under...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 22nd, 2003
| |
2:07 pm - !
|
i got into gonzaga and santa clara today!
yipeeee
plus
trustee scholarship to gonzaga
7,000 a year
woooooooooooot!
ok, i'm going to go to see mona lisa smile iwth liam
adios
current mood:  excited
current music: something corporate- punk rock princess
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, December 21st, 2003
| |
9:05 pm - like whoa.
|
dudddde.
it was movie tonight
with me and my dad, that is.
first, saw In the Bedroom.
damn good movie. really depressing, though.
so, next, i said (not realllllly meaning it) that i needed an upper after that downer.
so my dad suggests sex and the city that i rented. \
really, inside, i wanted to.
but watch sex and the fucking city with my dad?
helll no bitches.
so i naively put in Requiem for a Dream .
fucked up.
seriously, the weirdest movie. i'm still in shock.
it's like i've just been clued into this whole other world that i've always heard about, but never really understood.
it's so weird.
i wish i were more articulate and knew thewords to describe what i'm thinking.
but i'm not.
i'm just a dumb fuck.
anyway, a recap on current events. worked all day today and yesterday and some of friday. no work monday... yayyyyy.
tomorrow?
i think i shall go blow some more money.
yes?
yes!
last night nhad and i went to barnes and noble... browsed, drank coffee, the such. then took oscar and doc up to the mp. i love themmmmmmmmmm
then, rented my movies.
woot, yes
i should hear from santa clara sometime "christmas week", and lewis and clark and gonzaga... i think the 15th?
so stay tuned for that exciting news darlings.
for now, i shall go lighten the mood with sex and the city *solo.
current mood:  shocked
current music: michelle branch- leap of faith
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 19th, 2003
| |
9:58 pm - smiling
|
i am so happy
i think i may have a fun time next weekend with someone i have eyed since sophomore year....
yay
tomorrow work
tonight work
sunday work
blah.
bye!
current mood:  giddy
current music: john mayer- love song for no one
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, December 18th, 2003
| |
10:59 pm - oh gosh.
|
oh dear.
my shameless internet flirting must come to a screeching halt.
especially with this paper i sitll haven't started due tomorrow.
i am just embarassing myself.
god
but it feeellssss sooo goooooood
it's all fun and games until he tells someone.
then i am
mortified.
current mood: d'oh, really?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
10:05 pm
|
mannnn
why does school always have to ruin my mood?
i have this fucking math paper due tomorrow... long way to go
i mean
who gives papers in math?
oh... i know someone...
blllaaahhhh
gunna be a long night.
i love carmen.
she is so sweet
man.
she just plops on me wherever i am, and stays with me until i kick her off
aweee
so adorable
poor zoe
stupid and ugly in everyway possible.
i am so gay
talking about my kitties in my online journal
ohh well
i've been neglecting nhad's actual journal. i must make up for it on break.
i love you nhaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
a dios.
oh yea. so i'm stressed out. so i go and spend MORE money online. having a credit card was not a good idea. i can't stop. shitt.
current mood: stressed
current music: none, you bitches.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
6:20 pm - YES!
|
i got into emerson!
i got in!
i got in!
woah.
yea, i'm excited. maybe, if my grades are too shitty this semester, i could get a scholarship? but i won't find out about any of that until april one. bitches.
wooooooooooooooooooo
current mood: excited
current music: dixie chicks- goodbye earl
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
| |
8:58 pm
|
and by the way
i like my bangs now.
take that.
i
like
the
b
a
n
g
s
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
8:56 pm
|
school gives me headaches.
but, i really like streetcar. good book. was in the bath an hour today reading it.
i still haven't heard from emerson.
i'm about to pee my pants in anticipation. blah.
only two more days until christmas break
only one more week with mr. phillips as a teacher.
i see a light.
current mood: clean
current music: beatles- let it be
|
|
|
| Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
| |
3:38 pm - bangs
|
today wasn't bad.
it's really weird. rarely does something happen to significantly make my day either bad or good. fuck it's weird. it seems like i just wake up and am like, "i'm going to have a shitty day." so i do. or, vice-a-versa. hell, i even failed an anatomy test, and found out i got a d on an essay in econ that i thought i did well on. but.. i'm not pissy? hm. whatever.
still haven't heard from emerson. i'm getting a little antsy.
what the fuck do i buy my mother. i dont want to go christmas shopping anymore...........
yea, let me bitch a little.
i'm wearing my furry sweater. i love it so.
i cut my hair las tnight.
i don't even know what possessed me. i was having such a bad day i felt i had to do something to prove it, so i made myself ugly. i'm a smart one. i know.
tomorrow... fiesta de navidad. excitement? not when roxanne will be attending the party.
then, it is no party.
it always catches me off guard when someone who used to fuck me over and blow me off all the time is now trying to be friends. why? was it just like, BAM. i want to talk to lauren? hmmm thoughts.
i hate my bangs.
love,
lauren.
"bangs" reminds me of the bangles. what an upset kelly lounge that was.
then the bangles reminds me of lauren.
and that is another subject entirely. i have no idea why SHE is ignoring me. (yes, i know i am an active participant, but i HAD a reason to be upset, but not upset as in ignoring. i just wanted an apology).
i got her a christmas present, but now i am having second thoughts about giving it to her. i wanted to be the better person, but i don't want to be the one who conceeds. i want to know that she wants to be friends, not that she will "forgive" (for what?) me because it's convenient.
i don't even know why i am rambling.
suggestions?
i have to go to work pretty soon- hopefully that won't put me in a bad mood. bah...
lauren.
current mood: mellow
current music: something corporate- hurricane.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 15th, 2003
| |
9:25 pm - fuckers.
|
i am so fucking negative.
i hate everything.
really.
to show how much i hate everything i butchered my head.
but who gives a shit anyway
current mood: crappy
current music: doors- light my fire
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
3:25 pm
|
oh yea, and one more thing.
i also fucking love how this blurty mother fucker wouldn't let me update for a few days there.
bitch
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
3:20 pm - i. want. out.
|
fuck. i feel like i'm fucking going insane. i really can't stand this shit. and the thing is, there is no real reason why i'm so pissed off. i just am. i hate this fucking town. oh. my. god. i don't know why i have been fucking stuck here, but it's not fucking fair. i hate school. no. hate. most people say it in passing. you know, "ohhhhh goddddd, i hate school." no. not me. i fucking hate it. why the fuck do i need to know about the nervous system, besides the fucking basics? my classes are fucking pointless. and english. oh. english. i love how i have gotten ONE assignment/test/essay back all lfucking quarter. cock sucking mother fucker. and i love how he acts all fucking smart about literature when every single fucking thing he says is straight off the internet. he goes through the fucking text pointing out fucking "light" imagery. as if i wouldn't have been able to fucking do that myself, asswipe. what the fuck. school is such a fucking waste of time. so why the hell are my grades so fucking \shitty? because garces is a fucking hell hole. i hate it i hate it i hate it. i occupy my time by writing konstantine lyrics over... and over... and fucking over.
yea i'm cool.
what the fuck.
as if i fucking care.
i have so much shit to do tonight.
i want to rip the balls off my teachers.
that would be fun.
now i'm just gay.
bye.
current mood: angry
current music: dashboard- the places you have come to fear the most.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 12th, 2003
| |
8:50 pm - did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
|
mmm pumpkin candle... mmmm
fuck i love target
i went christmas shopping today. Usually I despise it, but I had fun (albeit, by myself) today. I have everyone done except my mom (what the hell should i get?) and half of nhad's. i plan on sending cards to some of my friends from the summer, hopefully i get around to it... and i also want to send one to Nick. Hopefully that won't be to **stalkerish?. whateva, i do what i want, bitches.
what's new... friday night, lolita's chilling at home alone as always. even my sister's out. but what makes me an even bigger loser is that there is no where that i would rather be right now. like, i like just hanging out by myself, with my candle and my cats and a book on weekends. it really doesn't bother me. i know things will change once i live by myself because i won't have to deal with lying to get out of the house... but for now i am savoring it.
tomorrow i have to cater. i really need to money because i was already low on funds and i just spend a shitload today... but man, i HATE catering. it may not seem like it, but it feels demeaning. like, people look down on me because i'm there fucking server. like i'm some sort of fucking... fuck i don't know. the only reason i do it is because i get double what i get at sequoia. who wouldn't for, what, 14 and hour is it? yea.
well, i'm going to go read my books. mmmmm. sunday i want to go to barnes and noble and hang out again. or maybe borders. CHOICES!
god.
i am a l o s e r.
it's ok, as long as no one important is reading this.
muah
current mood: relaxed
current music: goo goo dolls- name
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|