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Below are 15 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
SwEeT_ViOLeT's Blurty:
| Friday, September 17th, 2004 | |||
| 7:03 pm | More quizzes... Whoa I like this  wish it's true, though | ||
| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004 | |||
| 6:38 pm | Wow! :D Ey Rej, as usual I took the test...
Yes, indeed, love is incredible and amazing. It makes me sane and insane at the same time. | ||
| Monday, September 13th, 2004 | |||
| 3:41 pm | I'm a very outgoing person. I have lots of friends. I party a lot. I drink. I dance. I socialize. But I can't understand why there's gotta be a "boy's night out", wherein girls, no matter how understanding they are, can not join. Or vice versa. I've had my share of a "girl's night out", but I do it when I am single or if the situation calls for it. But having to deliberately set something like it makes me think. For some couples, I understand why one (doesn't matter if it's the boy or the girl) would want to go out alone with his/her friends. Some are unfortunate to have an anti-social partner wherein your personality is the exact opposite. Some would be such a killjoy. They would forbid you to drink, smoke, stay out late and take a lead in a hilarious conversation (which usually happens to be about sex or something sleazy). They would rather that both of you be prim, proper and reserved in the middle of a rowdy crowd. In short, they forbid you to have fun even if you are with your partner. But what if your partner is as outgoing as you are?? would enjoy drinking and smoking while laughing your hearts out in a sleazy conversation. Is there still a need to intentionally set a gimmick wherein your partner is forbidden to join? The more that the situation rubs on me, the more that I imagine the longing of a dog out of a leash. No matter how open or understanding the partner can be, it just seems to be an issue. Are relationships really leash-like in nature? Current Mood: curious Current Music: Jumpin' jumpin' by Destiny's Child | ||
| Monday, August 23rd, 2004 | |||
| 6:14 pm | Ahh... I really hate this day! I want to start the week right. But some people (and instances) just won't let me be. Aaarrrgghhhh! | ||
| Friday, July 30th, 2004 | |||
| 11:30 am | Hmm... Tattoed_chick, don't you worry. I tried mine and here it goes: hmm... it says I am a sensual person.... I can claim that. Jealous? No! I'm not a jealous type of person! Baby, where are you? Sinong katext mo?! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! JUST KIDDING!!! Current Mood: blah | ||
| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004 | |||
| 3:58 pm | I feel so sick today. But I must fight it. I still have lots of work to do. Hmm... but I kinda like the way my voice sounds right now - a bit husky and limited. Well anyway... just sharing. I am sure I am not the only one who got hit by colds and coughs lately. Hope everybody will feel better soon, including Che and yours truly. Current Mood: Feverish | ||
| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004 | |||
| 5:39 pm | just listening... Wanna share a song I love hearing lately... Clocks by Coldplay The lights go out and I can't be saved Tides that I tried to swim against Have brought me down upon my knees Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing Come out of things unsaid Shoot an apple off my head and a Trouble that cant be named A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing You are You are Confusion never stops Closing walls and ticking clocks Gonna come back and take you home I could not stop that you now know singing Come out upon my seas, Cursed missed opportunities Am I a part of the cure Or am I part of the disease, singing You are, you are, you are You are, you are, you are And nothing else compares And nothing else compares And nothing else compares You are You are Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go Home, home where I wanted to go Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Clocks | ||
| Thursday, July 8th, 2004 | |||
| 12:14 am | After some (almost depressing) time of job hunting, I've closed an offer. Today is my first day to report for work, again. Well, I am glad I'd be doing something productive once more. My career won't be stagnant. I am actually happy. After some time that I almost can't see things clearly, I hated everything. I started to nag Che for small things. I lose my patience in a snap. I get mad at Che for not replying to my text when I know she's got work to do, writing, for that matter. How could I not understand?? I am someone who would almost literally put a "DO NOT DISTURB" or "DO NOT SPEAK TO ME UNLESS I INITIATE" sign every time I would write an article. So, how could I not understand her?! Damn, I'm getting too ksp. So today is the day I start working, again. I am so happy because I know things will go back to normal for us. The work is actually good. I would be learning a lot, although earning a bit less than before. It's a good and stable company. The people seem to be nice. And best of all, my office is just a few blocks away from Che's workplace! But what bothered me today is that just a few minutes after lunch break I received a call from an unknown number. When I answered, it was the company Che and I was looking forward to hire me. Now they want to hire me on my first day of work in another company! DAMN!!! My supervisor was right behind me that time.So, I courteously said that I am already employed. I can sense from her tone that she was quite upset and still tried to inform me about the developments of my application. Again, I said "but Ma'am I am already employed. And today is my first day of work." She told me too bad because they are already decided to hire and just bid me good luck on my new job. For an hour or two, I was so confused. I really want to work for that company. Che assured me that it is indeed a good company. I know they can offer something higher than my present salary. But I already signed the contract. I felt bad. I almost feel like crying. I bombarded Che with text messages about my dilemma. It's like this, I can hop to that company and never show up to the present one. But then again, what would that make me? I don't think my conscience can take that. After some thinking and a couple of cigarette smoke in my lungs, I've decided to text the manager I'd be reporting to (supposed to be) in that company. Che asked me if I am sure about it. I gave her my reasons such as being near to her, seeing that the company ain't that bad either and the people seems to be good. I just feel bad because I know I was holding back a lot during that conversation. And, yes, it did messed up my mind. If ever things wouldn't work out in this company I'm sticking with, I would still consider that very company. So I sent he a message saying "Thank you for considering my qualifications for a (job title) in you company. Much to my regret, but I am already engaged in another company right now. It would be my honor to be a part of (company name), but I just grabbed the 1st good offer given to me. Thank you and more power to your company." Can you smell how regretful I am? Oh yes, I am! But the thing is, I would have to stand up with the decisions I've already made. And who knows, maybe this is where I should be right now. She replied with such a relieving message including the line "Hope to work with you soon." Wow! No bridges burned, just adding more hooks to my chain. Current Mood: happy | ||
| Thursday, July 1st, 2004 | |||
| 6:35 pm | I am speechless. I am sinking deeper into this Limbo. It’s a quicksand that pulls harder as I struggle. I’ve lost everything from neck down Why do I have to face all these? I really don’t know what to say. | ||
| Friday, June 25th, 2004 | |||
| 2:43 pm | Friends... please don't forget to drop by my house tonight to celebrate Che's birthday. For details, contact me at 0917-8462310 | ||
| Tuesday, June 15th, 2004 | |||
| 2:23 pm | If you only know the chaos in my mind right now. God knows how hard I tried to avoid leaving But I have to... Baby please be good and take good care of yourself. I love you so much! | ||
| Sunday, June 13th, 2004 | |||
| 9:26 pm | Yes, Che is right. I'm now back in the working class of the society. Too much for job hunting, I've landed a job that would be occupying even my midnight and weekends. Well, that is if we have an event (which would be in a few week's time) or meeting or even official business abroad. It's challenging. The pay may not be much but I know once I pull it off, I'd be so damn good in making my own business flourish! At least being an employee right now would mean that I would surely have money every 15 days, unlike the uncertainty of being on my own. But it will come in due time. I really tried to look for a job near Che's office, for practical and emotional reasons. It would not be out of the way to drop her off if I'd be able to bring a car or less expense in transportation and the joy of having lunch with her. And yes, emotional reasons 'coz I don't want to spend much time away from her. Simply knowing that she's a couple of buildings away lessens the pain. And now we realized how valuable a weekend can be... Current Mood: awake | ||
| Monday, June 7th, 2004 | |||
| 3:48 pm | Condemn me from the grims of my past Cuff me for my unyielding attitude I wish that all these would perish in due time But sooner than the day you'd give up on me Wish you'd know how I used to be You might actually appreciate how I am now And see the efforts I've been doing this time Not for me to identify but for you to feel Stretching my patience Trying to understand and adjust Watching you sleep Loving every bit of you I try to wake up every morning So I can be the one to wake you up And be the first voice you'd hear Start your day with a kiss I want to make sure that you'd have something to remind you of my love each day May it be the tops you're wearing that I choose or even ironed Or your shoes that I tried to polish Or a simple kiss and bid i love you I know I can't do much I hope someday you'll learn to understand the things that I am... the ways that I am. Look not on my flaws and see the real me Believe Current Mood: indescribable | ||
| Monday, May 31st, 2004 | |||
| 6:04 pm | Here with me... Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want but I can't hide I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me. I know, I must understand how things should be. It's just that I am missing you so much. It seems pathetic that only a few hours of delay can make me this weary. Those sacrcastic comments and crass mood swings are nothing but futile concealers of my yearning. Your absence is such a misery I could not bear. 'Twas just last night when I watched you sleep and found myself smiling. While you were in deep slumber, I said I love you so much Baby! I was surprised you replied I love you too! knowing you're already in Dreamland. I stared at you for awhile. Then it hit me. My God, I really do love this person soooo much! I have been in the dating game for some time now. I know I may not be that old but I have been through a lot. And everytime somebody breaks my heart, I lose a part of me. Those pieces I know I can never reclaim. But somehow in your own ways, you made it brand new. Scars from my past still lingers. But I dare to be better. I will make this better. WE will. I know there some things I don't usually tell you (or maybe I really haven't) But yes, my feelings for you is real. I hope I was able to show it in my own lil' ways. Can't stop glancing at my watch. Can't wait to feel your kiss. Damn, this is the longest three hours of my life. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Here With Me by Dido | ||
| Friday, May 21st, 2004 | |||
| 12:15 pm | Beginning Time and again I use writing as the basic foundation of my being; in my career, my well being and as an everyday tool of communication. I am not that good in writing but I’ll try. Through the years, I tried to keep a diary. But I always fail. I hope that this time it will be different. Thanks to someone very special in life for introducing me to this part of the web. Current Mood: good | ||
