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Monday, April 18th, 2005
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12:05p
Drifted into consciousness with a panic attack this morning. I knew my alarm was going to go off. I knew that meant I needed to get ready for school.
But I couldn't catch my breath, and I couldn't make my heart slow down.
What causes panic?
What makes my head say, You can't go there today, you just can't go there today?
current mood: disappointed
current music: My Little Empire -- Manic Street Preachers (1 comment |comment on this)
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10:37p
For various reasons, I have begun to resent updating this journal.
The only reason I have for keeping my journal is in order to document the events in my life - the major events, the minor events. But lately, I haven't felt at all free to document what's really going on in my life.
Some of the things I'm not saying are quite positive - most of what falls into this category regards Kristin. It's a strange feeling for me, wanting to keep the details private. If you've read my journal for any length, you'll know I previously documented just about everything there was to document in a relationship. Not so this time. And that's pretty much by choice.
But the other things, the ones that aren't positive. The negativity can't be lumped into one category so easily. Last Thursday, I wanted desperately to write about a distressing situation at school involving a friend of mine, but I couldn't. I've been fighting on and off with my mother lately, and I can't talk openly about that.
I've made another journal. It's all set up. I've friended the people on my current flist that I'd like to keep on that account. The journal is completely public; it is also not hard to find. As a word of reminder, I made the new account so that I could maintain my sense of freedom. Please, please, please don't infringe on that.
As long as we're clear about this, happy journaling, folks.
current mood: done
current music: Midnight Show -- The Killers (comment on this)
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