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Monday, March 28th, 2005
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12:49a
I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't listen more to her warnings.
But then nights that begin the way this one did end the way this one did. I can't imagine letting her tell me that anything is wrong, not on nights like this - which are supposedly the 'bad' nights, and certainly not on the better nights.
Our relationship is the most challenging anything I've ever undertaken. I'm stubborn and sensitive; she's even more stubborn, even more sensitive. As a blanket rule, I'm perfectly honest. She has to push herself to tell the whole truth. It's not that she wants to lie. She just doesn't want to tell the truth.
I love to touch and be touched. She doesn't always. I thrive being the center of attention. She self-destructs. I say what I want. She drops invisible hints.
But for all the ways in which we are different, we are also the same. I'm not sure which is more important. Being the same or being different. We have both, so maybe it doesn't matter which is more important.
Because we have both.
Sometimes I think about the way I felt happy in the past, in other relationships. I think, How could I have been happy? because nothing has ever been like this. No one has ever paid as much attention as she does, no one else has ever been as interested in every part of me as she is. I've never met anyone more willing to hear what I have to say.
I don't know how long two teenage girls can make it work. I don't know how long any two people can make it work. But I wouldn't be surprised and I wouldn't be unhappy if we made it a long time.
current mood: accomplished
current music: Enjoy Your Rabbit -- Sufjan Stevens (comment on this)
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1:35a
I made this mix on Friday and I haven't been able to stop listening since, so. I'm posting it. Beware, the majority of these are so catchy it's deadly.
The Walk My Winners mix
1. Y Control - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2. Portia - Throwing Muses
3. Note to Self: Don't Die - Ryan Adams
4. This Girl Is Taking Bets - Thea Gilmore
5. Some Senseless Day - The Reputation
6. Look Up! - Mirah
7. Walk the Walk - Poe
8. 1000 Miles - The Proclaimers
9. Gunboat - Vixtrola
10. Somebody Told Me - The Killers
11. Dead Disco - Metric
12. I Don't Know Why I Love You - Ivy
13. Enjoy Your Rabbit - Sufjan Stevens
14. Who The Fuck? - PJ Harvey
15. Get Up - Sleater-Kinney
16. Walking With A Ghost - Tegan and Sarah
17. Hide - K's Choice
18. Celebrity Skin - Hole
19. Shy - Ani DiFranco
20. Don't Tell Me - Avril Lavigne
21. Hanging Around - Gemma Hayes
22. Romantic Rights - Death From Above 1979
The zip file.
current mood: good
current music: Note to Self: Don't Die -- Ryan Adams (comment on this)
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3:21p
Why does today have to be Kristin's busy day at school? I'm feeling residual weirdness from last night and I'm not sure that will go away until I hear her voice again.
current mood: odd
current music: Independant Thief -- Kathleen Edwards (comment on this)
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6:56p
Another mix. Much more subdued. Track listing later.
The entire thing or Part One and Part Two
[ETA: ( Track listing. )]
current mood: good
current music: Independant Thief -- Kathleen Edwards (comment on this)
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