| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Website (Exceptionally Mediocre). |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 13 entries. | |
|
|
Blurty for Theatre of Tragedy.
|
||||||||||||
| Sunday, August 29th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
|
i'm listening to Berlin's Take My Breath Away and Stephen Bishop's It Might Be You on repeat. request ni Daddy e. gah. hahaha. How do you know if you're really over a person? What if you see him with his girlfriend, and you keep getting all these "ka-chings" because of subtle signs that you don't know if you're imagining or are really there? What are you going to do? What if you're some self-conscious idiot who tries hard not to get noticed by the people around you and end up squirming in your chair and looking like you're lost in la-la land in the process. And so, you go home early. Hay. Then you obsess about it while you're at home. You can't tell your best friend because he's out, and although you know he will still be the same understanding and considerate prick that he is, it will unconsciously change some things. Then you figure out, I don't want to fucking obsess about it anymore. I'm over him. Then this really nice guy friend you talk to online tells you that you're not over him. As long as the "ka-chings" are there, you're not over him. Stupid "ka-chings", you think. They're not the "boom! boom! weeeeeeeee! bangs!" that you hear when you're with your best friend. But that doesn't mean they're not there. and you can't tell your friends because they're "ka-ching" man's friends too. oh woe is you. so what do you do? wala. you sulk. and you promise never to set foot in a place where he's with his girlfriend is. you're not jealous, mind you. you just don't want the awkwardness it'll bring if the girlfriend notices that your "ka-chings" are out of place. if there's someone who'll notice, it's the girlfriend. and the girlfriend is your friend, so you don't want to start a mess over something that's not worth it. you don't really want to hook up with him anymore. you have your "boom boom weeeeeee bang" guy already. what the hell do you need the "ka-chings" for? So you ponder. And ponder some more. Then you decide to bug your lj friends about it. HEHEHE I LOVE YOU ALL :D |
||||||||
|
|
| Friday, August 27th, 2004 |
|
||||
|
that's one of my favorite songs right now. :) i finally got around to deleting my livejournal account. i just wanted to start again. i'm finally getting another chance, but this time around, with a different outlook on life, a different set of priorities. maybe this time, it's gonna work. and i have him to thank :) without him, i would never have the determination and the strength to change for the better. finally, a happy entry :) more soon! |
||||
|
|
| Friday, April 16th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
| i have no idea what my future will be like. i have no idea what i want to be in life. does this make me a worthless person? mmm. *napapaisip* hehehe. | ||||||||
|
|
| Monday, April 5th, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
mmmm :D wala lang. masaya lang ako. basta masaya ako. been feeling shitty the past couple of weeks. pero ngayon okay na ko :D sorted things out. masaket pero... tapos na. :D gagaling din ako. mark my words, ill find my own. |
||||||
|
|
| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
well, he and i are finally civil again. hrm. but i don't trust myself. not one bit. i want to be friends with him again. but not until i'm completely over him. darn. oh and i have a deviantart account. haha. http://goofduck.deviantart.com spot! :D |
||||||
|
|
| Saturday, February 14th, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
ispat my yahoo e-mail signature: it amazes me how much i always manage to set myself up just so that he can break me again. after all these months, he still has the power to erase every feeling in my soul, leaving it empty, resurrecting the dull ache that i'd have to learn to ignore all over again. goodness. how emoshitty can you get jaja. hahaha! |
||||||
|
|
| Wednesday, January 28th, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
ayaw ko na mag-aral tinatamad na ko tangina leche pero kelangan ko matapos punyeta life is unfair tlaga forever and ever. AMEN. |
||||||
|
|
| Thursday, January 22nd, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
ate abbee texted me today. she told me: hm, did a readng 4 u 2day.i was askng abt dawan. sbi dto b4 u can face him u hav 2 free urself frm ur hangups w/ jt & acknwldge ur self-reliance and flaws.ur cards scream CHANGE sobra hehe & HEAL. u dnt nd 2 pls othr ppl but urslf. Sender: abbee +63919******* Sent: 22-Jan-2004 09:59:02 also try to let dwn ur dfenses & not abuse ur freedm. liberation shldnt b agitatng. un na muna bebe. <3 hope this helps. Sender: abbee +63919******* Sent: 22-Jan-2004 10:06:06 ---------------------- this reading came at the most perfect time conceivable. i was contemplating about going on LOA and had just finished (well, slight) writing about missing him (see previous entry). one thing's for sure. he definitely isn't "dawan". hehehe. at least got that one sorted out. i can finally get started on forgetting him. haha. ---------------------- and last night, sa sobrang lonely ko, i was actually thinking about proposing to her kung gusto niyang seryosohin yung pagiging kami. grabe. ganun ata ako ka needy of someone. hay. ---------------------- d ko na kras si ping. nawala na ang thrill. how sad. wala na naman akong kras. |
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
livejournal just got too crowded for me. i'm still keeping uberbitch though. i've messed up all of my filters there so i guess i really have to keep separate journals. there are just too many entries to sort out. not that anybody would really have the patience and the interest to read everything there is. i just want to be selfish. i want someone to take care of me. i want someone to control me. i want someone to hold when i'm lonely. and i hate myself for being needy like this because it's not me. it's not supposed to be me. i hate feeling like this. but sometimes, i've had enough of looking after people just because i'm the one who doesn't have "serious problems" on the surface. blah blah blah but then this is just useless stuff. i miss him horribly. i won't even try to explain the emptiness i feel because he's not a friend anymore. i dreamt of him again last night, that we were friends again. i love him so much, and i don't think i can ever love anyone else in that way again. :( but i have to let go. i'm tired of all the anxiety i feel whenever we have a misunderstanding. misunderstandings that shouldn't happen in the first place. why is it that it's the people we love most are also the ones that we seem to hurt most deeply too? :( i miss you. i really miss you. HE doesn't even come close. *sob* |
||||||
|
|
| Sunday, December 28th, 2003 |
|
||||||
|
dahil sa isang malungkot na panaginip sinira ang aking idlip dahil sa isang malupit na alaala ako'y inyong napaluha kupal. |
||||||
|
|
| Monday, December 22nd, 2003 |
|
||||||
|
my mom just can't accept the fact that her daughter is very free-spirited. :( too bad. |
||||||
|
|
| Saturday, December 20th, 2003 |
|
||||||
|
i just thought i'd take advantage of the fact that i'm an early adopter. hahaha. according to blurty, i haven't updated in 41 weeks. hahaha. i miss him. :( very much. hay. |
||||||
|
|
| Wednesday, March 5th, 2003 |
|
||||
| isn't it obvious that this is my first entry? weee :) just wanted to see what the default template looks like so i could play with it in a little while =P | ||||
|
|
|
|
Blurty for Theatre of Tragedy.
|
||||||||||||
amused.
aggravated.
annoyed.
blank.
sad.