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[07 Feb 2004|08:33pm] Woah buddy, it's been awhile! Kay, I tried out for drama, and made it. We don't actually have parts yet we're getting them tuesday. I got the highest grade on my math midterm and my civics midterm. I got an 89 in science, not bad and a 103 in english, which is high, but not the highest. Instead of chorus, I now have art. And I can't stand my teacher and my class is full of dunderheads. Not kewl. Swim meet was today and yesterday and we won. Yay! Party is on tueday, so I have to tape gilmore girls again. boo. Oh yes, last weekend was ATF, acquire the fire. Life changing expirience it was. Red pill, red door. lol. In a bit, i wont have anyidea what it means. But it's funny now. So lol. Yeah. I'm bored. I'm watchinf The Lion King. I forgot how funny that movie was, lol. I'm waiting for teen titans to get on. I like that show! Cuz I'm a dork. Deal with it. lol. I'm booored. I'm going back to my movie. Hugs and Antidepressants from the completely insane, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[24 Jan 2004|06:42pm] [ mood | bored ] Today was very dull. There was nothing to do. Except for the swim meet. And that was also very boring. I had to swim relays, as always. I hate them! There's still really nothing to do. Until bout nine when I can watch teen titans. Yeah, I know, stupid cartoon. But it's okay I guess. It's reminding me of my childhood or something...wait. I still am a child. Yeah, okay them. I'm bored. Nothing to do. I'm on the other computer right now. I like this keyboard better. Our living room is rearanged. Actually, it's been like that for awhile, but I haven't written anything for awhile. I'm trying out for drama on the second. I hope I make it. I made it last year, so this year shouldn't be a problem. I think. I have to go to church tomorrow. We have youth group too. don't know why I'm saying this, as it's pretty much a given. I'm taking intro to theater next year, no matter what the guidence counsalors say. I dislike them very much. Yeah, so...bored. Okay, deep thought time. I don't know if you all can handle this. I really don't. I mean, this is like level ten on a one to ten scale of deepness. Really. You sure you're ready for this deep thought? Really? Alright, here goes: Paper or Plastic? Deep, I know. Yeah, I'm insane, so what? You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you. The voices don't like you. They told me so. So :P Yeah, I'm a dork, leave me alone. :D Hugs and antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[20 Jan 2004|05:11pm] I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. The voices are talking to me. o.O They have been talking all day and now they won't shut up! You're ust jealous because they're talking to me. But you can have them if you want. They're annoying. If you haven't noticed, I am insane. Hugs and Antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[10 Jan 2004|10:14am] [ mood | bored ] I'm Booooooored. There's nothing to doooooo. I'm so boooooored. I'm watching tv. On one saturday morining. On abc. And I'm bored. No one is on line. Oooooh, I got a betareader! She's kewl. And she's good at it. Yeah. Okay then. Bored again. Not that I was unbored before. Yeah. BWA! HAHA! Hehe! Sanity is overrated. BWA! I say BWA! Okay, I'm going now! Hugs and antidepressants. post comment

[06 Jan 2004|04:40pm] I'm bored...I should prolly be working on my civics project which is due thursday or my homework, but I really don't feel like it, so here I am! My typing is relly crappy today! Yay! lol, not really. I should go read a book. Books are gooood. hehe. Oprah is on. But its a rerun. And anyway, Oprah is boring. BORING! Yes, that's what I said! Bwahaahaahaa! HA! yes, I am sane. I have plenty of brains in my NOT empty head! Bwa! Ha! Ha! lol! Okies, I'm going now.... Hugs and Antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[04 Jan 2004|08:02pm] [ mood | frustrated ] I don't why he thinks he owns everythig and everyone. It's not like he's the ruler of everything or anything. He can't tell me what to do, I have my own free will and all that crap and I hate him. I want a new family, I hate this one. I wanna go live with Corinne's family. At least they like me. Anyhoozles, today we had youth group and we started our guy/girl separated classes. We had to talk about self esteem and what people thik of us and what the people consider an acceptable person. It was good I suppose, but who cares what everyone thinks. I mean, you should watch your weight so your not overweight and its not healthy but people who stress about it are just dumb and anyway, you should care if people think you're pretty, people should like you for who you are. And if you like the way you look, then that's all that should matter. It's nice to look good and pretty and all that, but you should do it fr you, not to impress anyone. I mean, who are you trying to impress anyway? Chances are, they don't care. And if they do, then it shouldn't matter anyway. If a person truly likes you, it should be for your mind. Which is why guys are shallow and stupid. i take that back. most guys. There are a few deeper guys who care about your mind and personality and those guys are the ones you should like. There';s this guy, Jake I think I wrote about him a while ago. Anyway, he goes to my church and he's now a part of the youth group and all that. I played him in academis challenge, he goes to Kempslanding, so he's obviously smart. Corinne and him were flirting like mad and now they go out. And they still flirt like mad. And I don't like him, bu I'm kinda jealous. Not that I want to be, but I don't think anyone really does. I guess it's mostly cuz Corinne found a guy who she really likes and he likes her. And she gets to see him all the time adn he goes over to her house and they actually go out. If I go out with someone, it's just a term, and we only see each other in school and it's so incredibly stupid. I really hate the term, so I refuse to go out with anyone unless one of us can drive and we can actually date. Right, so I think I don't have anything else to rant about for a while. At least til tomorrow. When we have to go back to school for an extra twenty minuets, which is so dumb, because it'll only add about five minuets to each bell and it's not like we can do a whole lot in five more minuets anyway. They should just add it on the end of the year. it's not like I've got anything to do thats remotly important this summer except get dragged off to who knows how many different camp grounds even tho I hote camping. The bugs rather love me tho, even the whole out doors doesn't agree with me at all. Okay, I'm really done now! I promise! Hugs and Antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[28 Dec 2003|09:04pm] [ mood | ..... ] I have not done a damn thing and yet my parents think it's fun to torture me endlessly. I think they think its some kind of game. 'Lets see how far we can push her before she loses her temper and we get to punish her.' Funny, I don't see the fun or humor in that. And they always take my siblings side. They can do no wrong. And then when they do do something wrong, I have every right to gloat and then I get yelled at. It's so stupid. My parents are stupid. Which is part of the reason why I hate being at home. I enjoy school mostly for that reason. That and it's something I can depend on. Tests and stuff are things I know I can do and accomplish and all that. Now I'm going all Psycho and junk and it's on myself! Oh well. Now when I'm a psychiatrist, at least I'll have had some decent practice. I won't be a complete failure. At least, I'll know I won't be. Don't know if anyone else will think so. People are not predictable. And I really dislike that. People have real tempers and you never know just when they're going to blow. Which completely sucks. Which is why I like predictable things. Like books and stuff. Even if there's a twist or something, it's just in the book and it's not like it's real or anything. I can just move on and it's like it never happened. Wich of course, it hasn't really. I don't like people. They are caring and kind and all the stuff I'm not. Cuz I'm a crappy human being and I don't friggen know why! It's not even my parents..well, maybe partly, but I'm just a normal person. I don't know why I try and make all of my problems seem so big when they're just the normal problems of a normal teenager who is too stupid to realize it. Now that I'm done ranting, Christmas has come and gone. Other people get games and skateboards. I get socks. Dead serious. They're toe socks, but socks none the less. Nearly everything I get for birthdays or Chirstmas is either edible, jewelry or usefull. Christmas is not supposed to be usefull. On another note, no one came to pick my up from church today so I'm generally pissed off at everyone even tho its really not their fault my parents wont drive me anywhere. Still. I wish I wasn't so dependant on people. Because I don't like them. The humen race in general is a very stupid race. They have feelings, and they care for others in the same species and it's all so very stupid! people, in general, are very stupid. Hugs and Antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[18 Dec 2003|04:27pm] [ mood | exhausted ] Wow, it's been quite a long time since I've written in this thing a ma jig! Well, nothing's reall happened actually. We went a feild trip for chorus today. We had to go sing for old people and drink icky kool aid with no sugar. Ick. But then we went to the mall to get lunch. Subway, eat fresh! lols! Yeah, anyway, nothing more has really happened. I met a new person I guess who's a part of the youth group now. Corinne says I like him, which I don't. I just want to be friends! Platonic relationships are just peachy, okay? We had the party for national jr honor society yesterday. We did a gift exchange. I got some bath beads. Darn, now I have to take a bath, lol! ugh, my head hurts. And I have a horrible cough, which refuses to leave me be! The unfair ness of life! Grr! Well, things to do! Hugs and antidepressants, ~Tiger Lily~ AKA, Bree post comment

[29 Nov 2003|07:23pm] [ mood | bored ] Wow, I haven't updated this thing in like, forever. I found another diary thing, diaryland.com. I have an account on there too, serenesanity. I'm not sure what to do with that one. I have a big part inthe church christmas play this year! Yay! I'm Misha, with a bunch of lines! And Two, count them, TWO solo's! Whoot! I've been soooo bored this holiday! I had to stay home with my boring, dull family! tomorrow I have to go to church,so I wont be as bored. I think I'm going to the movies today, but mom's mean and she said we might not go. If we do, it'll be to see out of time, which I'm not sure what that's about. I've been watching TV all day because I've been SOOOO bored! Not fun. not fun at all. Since I'm sooo bored, I have nothing more to say. Good day. post comment

[16 Nov 2003|08:16am] [ mood | cheerful ] I joined this community on here, poetry. It's for people who want their stuff reiviewed. I put up two and I got a good review and a bad one. For the one, high above the world. One person said they loved it and the other said on a scale of 1-5, it gets a 2. Which I guess isn't so bad, I mean, it could be worse. They said it lacks style. But whatever, I mean, I'm not going to let one person stop me. It doesn't make any ounce of a difference what one person thinks, so there! Anyway, I'm about to leave, so I think I'll sign off here! Hugs and Antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily PS: Actually, my siggy doesn't make sence, I'm in a relatively good mood today, and I don't know why! 1 comment|post comment

[10 Nov 2003|09:54pm] [ mood | Can't even begin to identify. ] I dunno what it is...I don't think it's anyone. But Corinne seems to think that if I keep bottling things up and I don't tell anyone anything, I'll get all depressed and stuff and have to go see a psychiatrist and all that..it's not going to happen. Just because I don't tell her every little detail of my life and how I feel doesn't mean I'm depressed or anything. Sure, maybe a bit low sometimes, but it's nothing I can't handle. I know, typical of someone who's about to go off the deep end, but I'm just a normal teen age girl. Nothing is wrong with me. She also says that if I keep bottling things up I'll end up writing more maniacly depressive letters, like the one and crying and all that. But there's nothing wrong with that. That's the way I outlet for my feelings. Maybe she does it different, I wouldn't know. I don't make it my hbusiness to know everything about her, she shouldn't do the same thing to me. It's not like I need her to watch over my every move. I haven't done anything, I've never conytemplated suicide...well maybe I can't exactly say that, because I've thought about it and how maybe it would work, but I never seriously thought about going through with it or anything. Im just a normal teenager, there's nothing wrong, nothing at all. This isn't like a thing you write of someone who's got some serious problems, just the trials and tribulations of a teenage girl. Whoop di doo. Nothing special about me, nothing at all. I'm not even especially good at anything. Okay, so mabe I can write a poem that's ot especially crappy, but it's not like I'm some special prodigy or anything. I can't even maintain straight A's, much less anything else...I'm so afraid I failed science, which is a real possiblility right now. I didn't turn in that project and I think it's a huge part of my grade..if I get a 0 on that, I might end up with a D on that. But If I do that, if I even get a c, I'm done. i can't even go to church which is stupid because I think that's really helping. Before then, I was a real brat, I never did anything. I'm not a real turn around case, but I'm not as bad as I was before. And now they might take that away..I can't even think what would happen...I seriously think I really would go off the deep end. I mean, going to that church means a lot to me. Before hand I was this shy little girl in a shell, and even though I'm not to much better, I've improved and going to that church is what has changed me. I'm not so shy, and I've retreated from my shell. I don't usually get on with people I don't know that well, but sometimes it just sort of clicks, you know? Well, I think I have to go, even though I think I could sit ere all night and just type what I'm feeling. Because I'm feeling so much. weven though I don't want to, I want to be cold and unfeeling, like I don't need anyone. But I do. I really do. And there's nothing I can do about it. Hugs and antidepressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily 1 comment|post comment

[08 Nov 2003|10:01pm] [ mood | tired ] My mother;s watching law and order...I really don't know what she likes about it, it's rather dull. I really dislike court shows and such...it's boring. And rather messed up..sorry to any one wh actually lieks the show, but I don't. Yeah..I g2g now...sleepy time...*snore* post comment

[04 Nov 2003|10:07am] [ mood | bouncy ] Wow, there sure is a lot of journal web sites out there! Hehe! I just discovered a new one, thx to Eric. He has one on easyjournal. So I know of easyjournal, greatestjournal, live journal, dead journal, and this one, blurty. And I have to say, I like blurty the best. But I don't have a code for live or dead journal, or I might like that one better. I haven't started any communities on any of those websites, or on this one, so I'll have to see what the big fuss is about live journal. I think that one costs money, but I'm broke, so there goes that plan, right out the window. I still have to do a whole bunch of homework. I have to do a project for both Spanish and Science and some homework for civics. But I think I might have to do the b day stuff tomorrow. I'm so glad, no school today! There wasn't any yesterday either, whoo! Anyway, I went to youth group at diamond springs yesterday, even tho I don't usually go there. Just for youth group. I've only been going a little whle and already, I'm all accepted and people like me. Yay! Of course, they're all older than me so it's like a sibling thing going on, but it's all good. I landed in a bit of a controversy when I got there, but I think it's for themost part, all better now! Anyways, I got to go, I think I should go look at my other journal for my writings and stuff. Hugs and Anti-depressants, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[30 Sep 2003|07:17pm] Today was our first academic challenge meet! And we won by 65 points! YAY!!! Okay, the B team lost by 100 points, but we made a come back! We started out a head by 20 points. Then in round two, we started strong then got behind in that and the bomus questions. In round three, Lynnhaven got six questions. We got the same category and we got them ALL right! So we got the 25 point bonus, leading by sixtyfive points! Go us! I thought about some stuff today too. I sat across from Matt on the bus.. and I can't decide if I like him or not. I think I do, I really do. I don't want to like him, I don't want to go back in remission...but he's relly sweet and funny...and a lot of other stuff too. He's not really cute, but...I don't know. I think I'm going to go write him aletter or something... Hugs and anit-depressents, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[27 Sep 2003|08:48pm] [ mood | exhausted ] I was in a sort of bad mood the other day and Corinne wanted to know what was up. So I wrote this letter to explain it, and I half wanted to shred it and never let anyone see it. It was mostly a lot of my personal feelings, and I'm not really sure if I can just let people know. That's not to say I don't trust Corinne. With most things I do. In fact, she is one of the only people I will trust. But when I told her I might not be able to tell her, she said she thought she was a better friend than that. And she is. She deseres lot more respect than what I give her. She is the best friend a girl can have and if you're in a serious moofd, she won't normally laugh. Sure, she tends to have a big mouth when it comes to setting people up, but it's okay for the most part. Anyway, most of the letter went on to say that I really don't need anyone and they should all bug off because they don't really care, which I belive to bne true. With most people anyways. Anyway, on lighter subjects, the planning lockin was last night and I got about an hour of sleep. But it was a lot of fun. We played capture the flag and Andrea and I were hiding underneath the pews and no one told us it was a new game, so we were still hiding there. We also played Underground church, which was also fun. We did the usual planning stuff, then we watched some movies. This morining was the Neptune Fest's Sandcastle building contest. We did Neptune coming out of the water pushing back a storm with a book called the SS Izzy for Hurricane Isabel. And guess what? WE WON FIRST PLACE! WHOO! After about a million raffles, they finally announced it. Speaking of Hurricane Isabel, I should prolly fill everyone (Namely Abby) on the events of it. Well it came on Thursday afternoon and we didn't lose power until Thursday evening. I suffered thought Friday and i came back on Saturday at oneish. I spent most of the day on the computer and then I watched one of my favorite movies, Anastacia. So I guess that pretty much deatils my past few weeks! Not a whole lot of fun, but it was okay, I guess. Hugs and Antidepressents (My new sig so I won't violate Erin's ownership thing) ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[20 Sep 2003|03:25pm] [ mood | chipper ] There's been a bit of a thing about my signiture, the one I put at the bottom of my posts. Well I would like to take this space to credit Erin, who I took it from. The line 'Until our owls cross again' belongs to Erin. That's not to say I won't stop using it, I just had to cedit her. Anyway. I thought of a new idea for a fic, which I will be writing out. Actually, I thought of it and wrote the summery a while ago, I just decided to write it out today. I spent a whole three days without my computer, everyone should be proud of me. Hurricane Isabel came through so we were without power since thursday. We got it back today, yay! Anyway, that's all I can think to write. My life is boring. I'm going to go write my fic now. Byezerz! Until our owls cross again, (Which belongs to Erin) ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[06 Sep 2003|12:14pm] Well I finally broke up with matt. I can't think how I feel about that and I'm not sure what he thinks as I worte a note and I don't know what he thinks. We have to do this stupid English thing and I can't remember if I told you. Anyway, we have to put pictures on a folder. Five on the outside of how we are on the outside and five on the inside. I don't want to do that, and we have to present it. No one needs to know about that. So grr for my English teacher. Also, one of my friends, Jeremy, broke up with his girl friend and for some reason he won't talk to me. I dunno, I'll have to pester him if he get's back on. Right, I think that's about all so far... Until our owls cross again, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily 1 comment|post comment

[04 Sep 2003|07:05pm] Well, things are interesting to say the least. I like this guy and he likes me back. Sorta. He thinks I'm cute. Which is good. so he does like me. The problem? I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. Who is one of my friends. Friends over boys, I know. He's really cute and he's nice and sweet and the whole nine yards. He sits across from me in science, so I get to see him every other day. But he's in the rest of my classes too. Any way, he also likes two other girls, I think, and he says he liked me first. *Beams* Yay! he says he thought I was cute when he met me, which is all good! It's *all* good! Well, except for English class anyway. We have this stupid project. we have to decorate a folder with five things that we're like on the out side and five on the inside. Then we have to present it. And the things on the inside are personal. My teacher was all like, "Don't put it if you don't want it shared." But if it's personal, you don't want people to know, right? Exactly. Plus, I'm not exactly the type of person that divulges things like that. I prefer being a dark, misunderstood, unknown, mysterious type of person. I don't want people to know me. then they can take that info and use it against me. And I'm just not big on presentations. When it comes to something I've written, I'm rather reluctant to get up and read or talk about it. I just can't do that sort of thing. I like to sit in the back and make comments on what people say. Can't do the talking out loud. So, so far I'm thinking of putting something HP on the out side along with something reading/English and something froggy. On the inside, I might do a tree or something, because I fight for them. SAVE THE TREES, USE BOTH SIDES! Which is why I use an online journal. It's not like people can read it if I don't want them to anyway. I can just make it private and most people aren't interested unless I give them a direct link anyway. So I'm not sure what to put. I'll work on that for now, and I'll think about it more later. After all, it's not due until Monday! post comment

[02 Sep 2003|06:38pm] Today was my first day of school! Yay! Well, sort of anyway. My teachers are okay. I can't tell you how my math teacher was, because I was half asleep. But we do have a book club thing. we get to read for twenty minuets a day. Yay! Mrs. Ludwick is okay, but she tends to go on and on and on...you get the picture. And she picks on the girls for the dress code. Mr. Hopkins is...odd. He picks on people who are rather quiet, like me. Mr. Lamay give a lot of notes and he yells a lot. Anyhoozlerz, it was a pretty good day, all in all. I got to sit with my friends and Matt is in three of my classes. So I guess that's my day! Until our owls cross again, ~Bree~ AKA, Tiger Lily post comment

[01 Sep 2003|11:27am] My last full day of summer vacation...labor day, always a depressing day. School starts tomorrow in all it's horror...yuck. And basically, I have nothing to do today except sit around and watch TV and play computer games. Enlightening, I know. Anyway, I went to go see Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday. I was really good and pretty funny. Orlando Bloom is good...and also very good looking. ^.^ *huggles Orlando* Oh, but now Remmy is jealous...*huggles him too* Yay, I have a new person to obsess over! Yay, restraining order! ^.^ Right, so now I've got this icky cough and people are going to stare and say, "Ew, go infect some one else." And I'll be like, "I'm not contagious, you dolt." Then I say I'm allergic to school, which is entirely possible. People have gotten sick off of the air quality of some schools. All of the people that go there could be infected. o.O Food for thought. post comment

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