Denise's Journal
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Wednesday, May 12, 2004
1:47PM
it was my birthday! its exciting because i am an adult now, i'm legal, i'm old, i'm 18! I got the senior junk in the mail and they made me sound really young still, im like eat it, i'm in my year of glory, do ya mind! They were like, congradulations on you completement of secondary schooling, it sounds like as if it was a day long adventure of something, um it took me like 18 fricken years man.
So i dont know, I look at the begining of this year and how much it looked like fun, and all a breeze this year. Well, it has been a breeze, sort of, in school. I have some easy classes, but i have to be here and on time everyday, and that is really hard. If i manage it, which i think i have, then no exams which the thought of rocks my world. It sucks though because Everett gets to do that with all their grades, not just seniors, friggin....
Besides that though, senior year is like REALLY hard. I watch as our youth pastor is pushing people to step up, because all the leaders are pretty much seniors. I watch as school is coming to a close, and realizing that it will never come back. All of my friends that i've known forever are going to be leaving, i wont see most of them ever again. I'm not a cryer, so i probably wont cry, but only because it's just not clicking for me. My mind wont' except it.
Monday, May 3, 2004
2:07PM
quote of the day:
"can you move this so i don't kill myself" It was by heather, who i have to put up with everyday in band.
Heather- hey! that's really mean!
Denise again-.... i was KIDDING...
Heather-oh, ok
ya, i'm sure that was hardcore interesting....not
so band is like getting more and more slacking off every year. I can remember when we were sophmores and bandcamp was really hard, and the seniors said how easy it was compared to THEIR first year. I know what they mean!!! Now even the people coming in who don't realize that it doesn't matter are realizing it. Everyone slacks off and doesn't put in any work. i mean for bob's sake, i haven't played my instrument in like a year. People don't march in step,a nd when we tell them to fix it, they don't care! If we applied ourselves in it, we might actually be good, and exceed more then any other band. My friend in grand ledge band says how much her band has unity and junk, ours has nothin... just nada.
The play was really fun. Lots of memories. There was one night where this girl went, and she laughed at EVERYTHING it seriously made me lose my concentration. I later found out who it was. She graduated 3 years ago, and she laughed because she actually UNDERSTOOD what it was saying! i looked like a pregnant old maid. My dress was like 2 HUGE dresses... put together! and i'm seriously not even playing either.I had a line in the play too... 'here comes bernice!' ya, thats my moment of fame... i was a nobody. Our play party was wicked fun, and i got to take home food... I love food, i don't know why, its just really yummy... and it also helps that it um, kinda helps me live too... ya... word
Current mood: 
cheerful
Sunday, April 25, 2004
9:36PM
so, i don't write in here like ever, but i always write in the lj, don't know what the difference is between the two...
man o man, the play is nuts, The lead person in it doesn't even have his lines memorized, and we start performing in like a day, its kinda scary...
blurty is dying out man...
Monday, April 12, 2004
2:17PM - word...
I'm back....
man i almost forgot how cold it was here, almost.
I found the place that i will be attending in sept. I don't really know what to say about it. It's different then what i expected. I guess i saw this nice place with classes and i don't know. I knew it was in a low part of the neighborhood. They are more carefree, and i don't know, not as big of a deal there as what i thought. But hey. They still teach what i want to learn, they probably reach out to a lot of people, but vegas is huge, so it doesn't always seem like a lot. I will grow in my relationship with God, and get to experience helping the homeless, and hopeless, and that excites me.
The fact that my dad still hates the place makes me sad. I was hoping that he would change his mind, and be enlightened by it. Oh well, i guess this will be my chance to be the stereotypical teenager who rebels against his parent's wishes as the parent says 'what did i do wrong'. Of course going on a christian mission trip that give me college credits and has grown nation wide acknowledgement only being out for 8 years is a little different then smoking and becoming a slut.
I met the people who will be on staff too, and it sucks... their REALLY hott, and so i'm gonna go, and be a little girly girl who has crushes, and not concentrate on what i spend $5,000 for
Tuesday, April 6, 2004
12:35AM
i like how about 20 min. ago i was really tired, and i come on here and i'm wide awake now... weird.
I found out a little bit ago that saturday before easter i'm not getting any sleep at all whatso ever. We are flying back from vegas all night long, and i have to usher at the church, so i'm going staight there after the plain arrives here at 6. Its gonna suck, but hey, i haven't stayed up all night in awhile...
i like how i can know two things but it'll take me forever to put two and two together. Like the concert that we went to. I knew the date of it distinctly. I also knew the date of the talent show i was in that date as well. I knew them both, and planed them both, and it took me until the week before to realize that they over-lapped. Same goes for the sunday thing. I really need to start analyzing things better.
I know a guy who used to like a girl ( her name shall be q) it was funny because he thinks of himself as all 'punk and 'hardcore' and it's funny watching him try hard to keep these titles. Yet he was 'in love' with q who is like smart, and preppy and as much like what he says he hates as possible. The girl doesn't like him. He is too immature even though he is older. Well now he is 'in love' with q's best friend.
Sorry, very random and pointless, but i think it's just kinda funny.. ... ... ... sorry, i'm bored!!!!!
Thursday, April 1, 2004
4:18PM - longest entry ever!! but still good
wow does blurty make me mad.
shout outs to: Matty: Making friends w/underoath, taking the homeless guy's stuff, stealing underoath's shoe, and rocking it out
Roy: Driving my car home and not crashing, holding me and matty in my blanket, asking me if i was alright when i got crushed by the fat man, writing what happened so i cant sue
Here is what happened at the show, aka, the best experience of my life besides cornerstone... NOTHING can compare to that. I posted it in lj too, and matty's explanation is probably more humorous then mine, but this is my point of view on it..
oh my oh my oh my!!!!!!!!! i'm like in heaven and i don't know what to do... well i WAS in heaven. Now im in stupid reality. we got there 3 hours early, even before the bands got there. We waited outside getting numb in t-shirts for 2 1/2 hours watching the HOTT bands come, and the other out of luck people getting behind us. There were so many racial slurs from the minute we got there. There was a black homeless guy who called an ahrab guy a nigger ha ha switched around haha, well it was funny then. Then the guy who worked for the st. andrews hall yelled at these black guys in a car. He said 'shut the f*** up you black faggot' wow.. and later he said to some guy 'i hate you, your black' haha, then he later called some guy a skin head, man, he doesnt like colors.
Since we were first we made friends w/the security guard guy, and got front row center!!!!! Dead poetic which is the best band of all time, and hottest played, the singer jumped off the stage and jumped on the guard rail all over the audience... ya, guess who was in the front row that he was all over... ya thats right the coolest girl ever... and, he did it like 5 times, same spot and everything. There was another girl next to me who loved them just as much as me, so we shared the heavenly experience. She later like passed out and got pulled over the rail though...I had dead poetic sweat on me, i will remember that forever...*sigh* ....:)
Underoath played and matty had special moments w/the keyboarder. They loved each other and pointed numerous times. At the end he told them after the show we'll hang out, how cool is that. Well of course there were some downfalls to this wonderful experience. Norma Jean finally got on, ok, when there are crowd surfers, they push em up to the front and the security pulls them down and shoo's them. Well Norma Jean were like the star band, and everyone rocked out harder then any other band, so i couldn't breathe even worse then earlier. This really fat guy shoved his way up front, and since i'm stubborn i wouldn't give him my spot, so instead he shoved and crushed like half my body, i was screaming and he didn't even care... stupid fat people... Then the crowd surfers were so horrible, there were constantly like 3 every minute getting pulled down. One of them fell ON me, and my head got bashed on the guard rail. My nose is like as close to being broken as it can get. It was numb the whole night. After that i started having a panick attack. I was freaking out, and crying and nobody even cared, matty and roy got pushed away from me so they were like gone. A security guard saw me, and asked me if i wanted out, i said ya, so he pulled me over the rail and i got catered to their office and junk, i was hardcore shaking for like 2 hours. My stomach hurts really bad too, i think from being crushed to the rail for 5 hours. I never knew that concerts were able to beat you up that bad!!
But then i got to talk to one of the dead poetic guys and he like kept coming up to me and talking to me. Apperently i looked really out of it. I think i was close to a concusion (however thats spelled) but hey, it was worth talking, and touching the butt of dead poetic!!!!
My band reviews...
Haste the day was ok. It wasn't as crowd energizeing, but they were also the first band. Dead poetic rocked my world. Their music was amazing, and they put on a great show, i was sad that they were only second on the list, their bigger then that. Beloved was really good, but still really consistant. Its like one good song over and over, ya it's good, but too much of a good thing gets old. Underoath was amazing. They didn't even need to jump on the audience to get them riled up. They had so much energy and umph. Norma jean from what i was concious of were really good. I thought it was unique that they had videos before all their songs, and the lighting was different and cool too. They got the crowd insane.. literally.
Current mood: 
naughty
Thursday, March 25, 2004
3:08PM
I gave blood here are my reactions
step one, couldn't move my arm at all
step two, felt sick and gross
step three, REALLY tired and out of it
step four, big headache
now, just blah
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
2:03PM
Wow am i bored with life. Nothing significantly interesting is happening. I want to meet a new friend, or boy, someone to entertain me and stir things up.
Dead poetic is playing in detriot!! and to make it even better -Norma Jean, Haste the Day, and Underoath!!!! I heard from people in other states who already saw it that it rocks yeah!!! Im going with roy and matty and it is so exciting.. that is of course if Matty can commit to his plans for it... if he doesn't, and i don't go i will seriously die, i can feel the attack coming not kidding. .. Dead Poetic is the best band ever!
So i was supposed to take a college day with matty to grand rapids, spent all this time looking for a college there, and a mall and I was like hardcore excited about it too. i finally get a hold of him to have him cancel, he wouldn't have even bothered telling me either. dang...
*sigh* so bored!
Current mood: 
blah
Friday, February 20, 2004
1:57PM
So i got on an comment happy spur, i love doing that, its fun to comment to everyone... i'm so opinionated.
So i found out in the past 3 days from the movies 'Remember the Titans' and 'Malcom X' that cracker means white person. I never knew they had a name for us...ya im slow, it's ok...
I go through school days more and more often not really talking to anyone. I mean at lunch i talk to a few people, and like sociology, and film class i have a couple aquaintances, but i don't know... School has become a lot less social for me, as well as outside of school. I find that the only things i do now are church activities. Thank God that our church is very active, but it isn't the same with out my old friends.
I can remember that when me and Scott broke up that it left me empty, and feeling alone, and it made me think how important boyfriend relationships are, but alas, when i lost my best friends, it was much more of an effect.
Its times like these that make me happy that i have Jesus. Because if i didn't have him, i'd be like my sister, a step away from suicide, being unsteady.
I am so happy! I got the currage to ask Jen if she wanted to do a bible study with me, i've been praying about discipleing her for like 2 months, she just looked at me and smiled, because she had been praying about me discipleing her for awhile too. Yea! rockin times
I seriously would be like 10 times happier, at least for like a day if i could go to a concert. I never knew how addicting it was, but i miss it SO much. Music is too huge for me to give up.
Current mood: 
gloomy
Thursday, February 5, 2004
10:09PM
AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm going crazy! I have so much crap i have to get done, and i will have a thousand things to do all at once!!!
I am so tired, and sick, but i cant even rest to get better.
sorry for complaining, but when i am hurting, its what i like to do.
Current mood: 
busy
Friday, January 30, 2004
10:17PM - woa man
I have a numb mouth right now because i used medicine, and um.. i missed a couple times. I really hope i don't have strep throat... but in a way i kinda hope i do, because you see, then i could get medicine and not lose my voice so i can yell at everyone when i'm directing. You know i think it's funny looking at myself direct. I've mastered saying 'if your late again i'm kicking you out' in a extremely nice way. ah, good times...
Super bowl is coming up, i cant wait, not for the game, heck no, for the party at my church. We get all you can eat free food, rockin prizes, hot boys, and millions of people everywhere doing all sorts of fun things. I like how i go, and out of the few hundred people there maybe 20 watch the game. I like the comercials. I think its fun watching who actually paid that much extra money to have their commercial playing. Its always pepsi, coke, and some beer...Anyone want to come go for it! Even if your not christian, its a fun party, free stuff and junk.
man, i'm not tired, but i have to sleep, i cant get super sick when i got a whole bunch to do. My sickness needs to pause for like the next 5 days, not even kidding...oh wait, maybe 6, ugh, not cool man..
Current mood: 
exanimate
Thursday, January 29, 2004
3:19PM
I meant to say
lol oops...
3:15PM
So i was in the halls late for class,not caring when i saw zacs name on the screen saying it was hi birthday, i was like, whoa!
Andi wasn't in class today... sad
I really think that playing games on the computers is all we will do this semester, that is sad, and will get boring, and is funny, and will be fun all at the same time.
I have absolutely NOBODY that i'm friends with in my 2nd hour... AT ALL. There is like nobody. So i sat down by this girl that was at a table alone, maybe hoping to make a new friend, then her friend comes and sits down two... ok two friends. Well the girl by the way she looked at me, obviously knew me, or in my case, my twin (since i didn't know who the heck she was). She starts talking to me, both do, i figure, ok she'll figure out when teacher calls my name for attendence..nope, well geese she doesn't even know my sisters name! So i spent the whole hour playing Audrey. It was fun because i never do it, but now it sucks. Like its too late to tell the girl i'm not her, i mean i'd say 'oh hi, ya yesturday i spent the hour talking to you about drugs and beating people up, but did i mention i'm really her very christian and innocent twin sister?' Still i cant go on faking it because i really don't enjoy being the role of a drugie. The teacher hates you, you get a bad grade, and your secluded from everyone else. Plus i don't know everything, she'll find out eventually and if it's too long forward she might get really mad...
I just like want to get out of the class now, it's got not cool people in it.....
man...
all i wanted to do was play with some clay!!!!!!
My throat hurts
Current mood: chipper
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
2:19PM - I have a headache
My new classes are good, i like them, i was getting bored anyway, i love change...most of the time.
So I didnt' realize there wasn't school until i got in my car and raced to school thinking i was late to see there was a grand total of 2 cars in the parking lot....grrrr. I went home and went to sleep again. Then i was awakened to audreys stupid boy calling every fricking 15 minutes, i mean, get a fricking life! Some people get sleep when they have a snow day, come on. I wanted to shoot him. I answer the phone to hear his STUPID giggly laugh, 'oh she is still asleep? he ha he' ....stupid...grrrrr
Well i have to cancel my practices for the people in my skit today too, darn, but oh well. i talked to joel, scotts friend to tell him it was canceled, he sounded either half asleep, or just... dumb? Well which ever he sounded sexy...oooh
Its snowing a lot... hhmm maybe i'll make potato salad...homeade potato salad is good...
Current mood: 
curious
Current music: skillet-alien youth
Sunday, January 25, 2004
12:55AM
So I went to two birthday parties this weekend i feel cool
My cat is selfish. She is very needy. She used to be so snobby we used to chase her down to pet her, now she begs us all the time, i can barely type cause she's on my lap putting her face in my hands.
It s weird how you can think that someone is popular, but really, they are lonely. I would rather have a couple close friends then a bunch of aquaintances
Current mood: 
groggy
Current music: blindside
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
3:31PM - economics conversations
So it was really cold all day in school, it sucked i was freezing. When i was like on my way out of school today, i saw a guy wearing the same blindside shirt i was!!!! Thats one of the reasons i hate hot topic, it sells out stuff, and styles that are original so that anyone can go out and have it. I love the blindside shirt because they are one of my favorite bands, it could be the other guys also, i don't know, but i'm just gonna assume its a no. You know, i don't get hot topic. They sell out punk, but how can you sell out punk when punk is about not conforming, and fighting the system. The system is the enemy, but by going to hot topic and buying their stuff, you are helping the very system that you are 'fighting' against... Stupid people.
And whats with americans these days? I mean, even if you aren't religious, how are you gonna fight for taking every piece of our history of religion out? I mean our soldiers fought for independence and freedom of religion to get away from persecution of the 'christians' that said their way of believing was wrong. Now it is even harder in america to beleive it, because everyone persecutes you here... is there no end? and the monuments that have the ten commandments... ok, even if you don't beleive them, they are still a historical reminder of what our founding fathers beleived. How in the world is it going to affend you to have something there that represents what the people who brought you here's thoughts?
I talk about all this kind of stuff in econ. Its funny because everytime i take a social studies type class, i always get taught how much america sucks, and makes me feel ashamed to be here. It makes me giggle when i hear everyone else say how much we rock, because the people who know about the government and stuff are the ones that dislike it. hehehe
Current mood: 
giggly
8:21AM
i need to write in here more often
Saturday, January 17, 2004
12:03AM
When i feel alone, i don't talk
This can be a surprise to some people
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
2:26PM
So i am at school, and i was looking on the internet, bored, for facial expressions, just to find some funny ones. Well i open up this page that has naked people, and it kicked me off, and messed up my thingy and now there is a bunch of problems w/my computer,a nd its not cool, so blah.. but at least my teacher beleives me, i don't like naked people, they are kinda gross, so why would i look at them?
My purse makeup pocket is FULL of sparkes, because it spilled and so i am all sparkly and so is katie and curtis' hand because we got a little crazy.
Curtis went to look for lost and found collection of stuff on the floor and he found a pain releiver pill, a black jelly bean, a orange color pencil, a little rubber thingy, shana found a mint, and curtis found a rotting banana. It was fun, and a great collection, i was excited
Current mood: 
accomplished
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