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Moved [28 Jun 2003|01:17pm]
Just in case some people didn't get my last post, I have made a new username. Comment to recieve. Later.
3 ---»( breathe )

End [26 Jun 2003|12:32pm]
I'm done with this username. I'm sick of people adding me to boost there ego. If you really want my new username, comment me. Thanks.
- lesa
8 ---»( breathe )

Weekend [22 Jun 2003|02:49pm]
[ mood | dorky ]
[ music | I want my life- Smile Empty Soul ]

Wow, my summer has just been great so far. I don't know about anyone else, but I love this summer! I'm hardly ever bored. So I shall tell you how my days have been...

On Thursday I went to the mall with Kelsea. I can't remember anything really, lol. Only that I got to hang out with Britney V. You know what I noticed? I should never judge people again. She is really a nice'cool'funny person to hang out with. I feel like a bitch...

Friday I went to the mall with Julie'Jella'and Vince. I was so surprized when I saw the Stolar twins there. Dude, they never go to the mall. There just hilarious, enough said. Kelsea came there too! She was being quiet. I wonder if something was wrong. But I do feel bad, I was ignoring her a little, of course not intentionally! I mean, it's hard to talk to everyone, but still. I feel so bad since she's one of my 3 best friends. I hope she's not mad at me. *bites nails* Okay back to the mall, all of us went to eat pizza and guess who is in there? A.J. He used to be in love with Julie and I think he still is. He kept looking at us while he was cleaning the tables. Then, he stared at Julie's boyfriend Vince and big mouth Julie said, "what you lookin' at?" (lol) I was dyin laughing! So blah blah, A.J starts mumbling shit and says, "let's shoot the one!" So Vince was like "alright, alright, burger king, 9:30" We had like 20 people outside the mall waiting for this fight to happen but that dick never showed! Haha. So after all that drama, I went to Jella's and spent the night. We went for a walk with Nick. I love that kid, not in a sexual way. But just, he's someone you can open up to so easily and he gives his advice and tells you his theories. He's just amazing.

Saturday came around and I went to Julie's house for a little bit before we left to go to Franklinville. I showed her how to get brushes and shit. Watch, we will be making a community for layouts and icons soon! (lol) Haha anyway, Jella rolled up and so did Vince. The car ride there was so funny! I think they all know what I mean. To me, Franklinville was pretty fun this time. But I have to say this, everytime I go there, I find myself staring at Ant. I just can't help it. Sorry, I just had to say that, it was bugging me for awhile. Damn, I wish he would just come up to me and say "hi" at least.

Jella- I am really happy for her. There's so much shit that's going on right now and she's doing the right thing about it. Finally she sees that she has to at least try and move on from Kevin. Honestly, he's not worth anything. She deserves so much better. She doesn't need a man to bring her down, especially during the summer!

Boring Sunday today is. But I just found out something that's really cool. My sister just called and she gave me 6 babysitting jobs which means alot of money. lol. If I could only find shit that I like..

So tomorrow is the IB show. I'm really excited. I just know that I'll have fun, especially since I'm going with Kelsea. We have so much fun at shows! Well I'm out, later.

Light )

4 ---»( breathe )

Over! [19 Jun 2003|12:40pm]
[ mood | happy ]

School's done! Yey in a friggen half! Stolar told me that we only have 75 more days before we go back to school. (lol) That seems short to me, so I have to do soo much this summer. Well yeah, that's all I wanted to say. School sucked today, so boring. I'm going to get something to eat now and then go to sleep! (lol)

6 ---»( breathe )

[18 Jun 2003|12:57pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | Bliss Tearing Eyes- Dead Poetic ]

So this was the second to last day of school! Tomorrow it's all over! I'm so excited, I can't believe it's finally here! So today I actually did go to the awards ceremony. I saw with Kelly. It was pretty funny because the teachers were just calling out names for all these awards for excellence and I didn't get any of them. This one teacher that was speaking, he looked like a keebler elf! (lol) Oh, and I had to sit right behind Mike Fisher. This dude is just nasty. I don't think he ever washes his hair or cuts his fingernails!

Today is my brother's 20th birthday. I have to make him a card on the computer, (lol) I'm disappointed in him though, he is friggen 20 and he still doesn't have a job! He's so lazy.

After school today my father and I went to pick up my brother's cake at Pathmark and to get some goodies for me. So get this, my father is trying to find my cocoa so I am in the next isle and I say (loudly) "the cocoa is over here dad." And as soon as I turn around, I see this guy named Steven! He looked at me and then smiled. Ya, I felt pretty dumb. (lol) Then I went to get some cheese and a guy who works there is blocking my way! (lol) Don't you hate that? So I kinda gave him hints that I needed to be where he was so he said, "is there anything I can help you with?" I say "no, but there are just so many kinds of cheese!" (lol) Man, I felt really stupid after those two guys and they were both hot! Grr. And to top it all of, as we're driving away, I see Sam Campbell, he looks at me, and then I turned away and looked again. *sigh* Even at work he can still have all those piercings, I was suprised. He is just fucking hot, enough said. (lol)

Kelsea, thanks for your little note thing! I love you!

Black )

11 ---»( breathe )

Blah [17 Jun 2003|08:15pm]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | Tell Myself Goodbye- Dead Poetic ]

I think I just had the funniest, yet shortest conversation with my dad. Okay I said something about tomorrow in school there is this awards ceremony thing and it sucks because seriously, I have no friends that are getting awards! (lol) So I think I'm just going to not go to the awards assembly and get my award in the cafeteria when it's done (say I have to use the lav) How smart am I? (lol) Fuck, I got off topic, (lol) Well I said that I don't want to be around a bunch of preppy ditzes and my dad goes, "next year I'm dressing you, you'll be shopping at abercrombie and fish!" It may not seem funny to you, but I was just dying.

Only 2 more days of school. Hey Hey! I thought my finals were quite easy. Well, all except for Biology and Algebra. I'm expecting F's.

I must say this. You know, not that much shit pisses me off. I think I'm a pretty easy going person. But just certain things blow my mind. On my "list" of things that piss me off, this rates very high. Tell me if I'm wrong, but let's just say you were interested in this guy and yeah, you guys talked, but not much since you don't see each other alot. When you and your friends are lets say at the mall and you see him walk by, you think shit in your head about him, but you don't say it. (well, that's me at least) So then you find out that your friend is talking to them. Even though you might not still have a big crush on him, that's fucked up to me. Maybe I should open my fucking mouth more often even though people say I do alot. *shakes head* Friends... And to anyone who reads this, seriously, I will not tell you. I just had to say this because... it was bothering me and quite frankly I can. Oh, but unless the person knows it's them I'm talking about, then sure. Comment away.

Does anyone watch the Real World and Road Rules? About the Real World, I think Ace and CT are just hot! (lol) Now with Road Rules, I was laughing my ass off when the whole team thought they got free laundry and they ended up having to pay 131 dollars! And you know what's even funnier, it was the black man who fucked up! (lol) Alright I'm not racist, but I just thought that that was amusing and rather funny as well.

Sorry if I haven't been commented but only 3 people on my friends list comment on mine (lol) So very soon I am making a new name and you will have to comment if you want it. Don't add me to boost your ego either. Oh, and I changed my s.n so if anyone wants to know it, comment. Later.

Taste of Summer )

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Routine. [10 Jun 2003|11:55pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Closing Heaven's Gates- Infect ]

School is so easy right now. In English, German, Health, and Algebra we're reviewing for our finals. In Biology, we dissected a frog. Lauren's my partner. I thought it was going to be bad, but it wasn't at all. I didn't mind it. In fact, I wanted to touch the teeth of the frog and all inside it's mouth, it's pretty cool. In Tech all we did was finish watching Mr. Deeds. That movie's funny.

Summer is just around the corner. I can smell and taste it! (lol) I'm so excited to just do everything! But until then, I have to work my ass off and study for my finals. I can't fail any although I know I will fail the Algebra one. That is just plain hard and useless in life.

I got my yearbook today. It's nice I think. It's a shame though that almost every picture is filled with stuck up people. Oh, and Bruce signed mine! I was sweating all eighth period just to find out what he wrote. When I got it, I was like ehh. He didn't really say anything although he did write alot. It just sucks.

I wrote a letter to my friend from camp today. Her name is Cristi. I haven't seen her in two years. I'm so excited to see and talk to her in person. She's so cool and yes, we are different in some things, but we get along so well.

I must be on my way, goodbye.

Utopia )

4 ---»( breathe )

... [10 Jun 2003|01:00am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | The Diversion- Infect ]

Long time, no update, huh? Well, yes, the one and only Lesley is back. I have alot to say since I haven't updated in so long, so I kinda have to shorten days up.

I have been to 3 shows since I last updated. Um, not much to say since I can't remember except the one that I went to yesterday. Actually, 2 days ago. It's 1:03 in the morning, lol. Well, Days Like These just keep getting better each time I see them. I don't know what I'm going to do when they make it big and tour all around, I'll miss them so much. But then again, they deserve it big time! So basically on Sunday I went to a show at the Semper Marine in Vineland. Dude, when we first got there, it looked like a fuckin' abandoned shack! (no lie) I was kinda freaked out. Well we started to walk up to the door and Second Place (this sucky band) was playing. The guitarist all of a sudden runs out to us and tells Kelsea's dad that it's okay and he'll take care of us! We were like, "what the hell!" I was.. embarrased. Anyway, the show went on with some awesome bands, even a ska band played and they were awesome! I just love ska. I was sad that Sam'Preston left early, they make it fun at shows. Oh, this band called Tomorrow's Regret, well, the guitarist called up his ex and dedicated this song to her on her cell. It was incredibly sweet I thought. They came all the way from Georgia. It's just a shame that the singer can't sing or else they would be really good. Hmm, Left Behind played and I couldn't really hear them quite well so I just stood in the back. While I was daydreamin, the singer pointed me out since I had a Level 27 shirt and said something about a Level 27 show. I was like, heh, cool. (lol) Kelsea, what was that dude's name that was my "stalker"? (lol) After the show, my dad picked us up and I was suprised to hear that he said Days Like These sounded good! Finally, we agree on something, how great!

Bruce and I broke up last Wed. *sigh* I hate even mentioning this, but at the same time, I want too. Okay, I can't hide it, I do miss him. I miss the times when we talked on the phone for hours at a time. I could be myself around him, for once. But I always fuck up, always. *shakes head* I guess the real reason why I broke up with him is that I'm scared of commitment. I hate to admit it, but that's the truth and dammit, I had it so good with him, he made me so happy. *looks down* I don't get how I can want love so bad, yet I run from it! Anyone have that problem?

So today we just basically studied for finals. I love this and next week, there so easy. I can just sit there and finally we can talk in Study Hall! (lol) Dude, you have no idea! We couldn't speak a word up until a few days ago! It was so boring. Also, we got our yearbooks and tomorrow I have to go and buy one. They look pretty neat. The main reason I am getting one is because of Julie'Jella'Kelsea'Bruce. Those are the people that matter the most to me.

So everyone knows it's getting close to summer, real close. I'm excited, yet scared. What if I really do move? I know I'd be fine somewhere else, but still. I can't leave my friends. I remember when Julie came to visit me in New York. My life was hell until she showed up and changed it all around. She basically lived with me for 3 weeks. Oh gosh, tears are falling. Back to the subject, I remember how we used to play cards alot and the 30 skaters that came to my door! I can't forget Josh Kimball and Stanley! Pizza hut.. (lol Julie) Josh (mexican one!) must have thought I was stupid. Ahh and Seth! Roll down that hill baby! (lol) And when I moved back here, Jella and I became good friends too. Even some things she does piss me off sometimes, I do love her. She's just hilarious. I just wish she would get over Kevin, she'd be off alot better. Gosh, all these memories are just flying through my head, I'm overwhelmed. I think the best time I ever had was in New York with Julie and Jella. The hotels were so much fun. Fuckin' poccantus (spelling!? lol) You know what? I never thought I could ever be close to girls, because of gossip and all, but these two girls are 2 of the most down to earth people you will ever meet. At times, I think of how I'm a bitch and take them for granted when really I should just be thanking them everyday just for being them, that's there greatest gift. It just sucks not knowing if I will move to New Hampshire or not. Sure I will have to go along with it, but my heart is right here in Millville, NJ. Between shows and friends, I couldn't be happier. Holy fuck, I just noticed that I didn't write about Kelsea! Ahh! Omg, I'm so sorry! Kelsea is my show buddy. It's hard because we're so much alike and it used to get to our heads, but luckily it doesn't now and we've learned to just deal with it. I have only known her for about 7 months, but she's so awesome and I love her to death! As you can see, my friends mean so much to me, I could write endless books on our friendship and still, there's so much more.

My father yelled at me today and it hit me, he was right for the yelling. I was acting like he was my servant, seriously. How rude was I! Especially after he said he'll take me shopping soon to any mall I want too! How nice.

Okay it's friggen 1:44 in the morning and no one is on! What is up with you people? I'm not even tired but I bet tomorrow I will be since I have to get up at 5. I better go, much love to everyone. Later.

Friendship )

6 ---»( breathe )

Been awhile.. [03 Jun 2003|07:12pm]
[ music | Dreaming A Reality- Senses Fail ]

Hey, it's me! Yes, I am still alive. Haha, I know I haven't written in a while, so sorry. So hmm, alot has happened. I shall start with Friday..

I went to a show at Franklinville with Kelsea. When we got there, we had to stand outside. (lol) The e-mail I got said it started at 5,but it ended up starting at 6! Anyway, when we went to pay, the drummer from Unfair Advantage took my money and he gave me my money back while saying, "you have a folded dollar because I like you." I was like wow because that dude is hot and like 17 or older. Anyway, the pits there were wicked. I even knocked off Angel from this speaker because I wasn't looking and this guy rammed into me hard. I felt bad, but it's okay. That night I got back at midnight. I felt so cool, (lol)

Saturday I ended up doing.. Wait, are you ready for this? Are you sure? Absolutely positive? Hehe,alright then. I friggen babysat on a Saturday night when all my friends were at Franklinville or at a show, great huh? (lol)

Sunday was the best! Kelsea and I went to a show at Eugene's. We met these 2 girls there. There really immature, but sometimes there okay. We hung out with them like the whole night. At the beginning of the show, we all sat at this back table and this band came on. It had a girl singer and holy shit did they suck ass! There beats were awesome, but that girl's singing has to go. Infect played after that shitty band. Hmm, what to say about Infect.. there fucking awesome. I wish they had more shows. After Infect was The Prizefight. We didn't pay any attention to them really even though we'I should have. I was too busy laughing with my friends that I forgot how good they are. Next up was Skys Fall. They did quite well. Kelsea and I got in a little argument over the stupidest thing! I can't believe how stupid I was! But then again, I just got my period and I was aggravated and all. I still felt bad and said sorry alot. The last band to play was Days Like These! Sadly, there microphones weren't working for the last couple songs and at the end Angel got pissed and threw the mic down and walked out. I felt so bad for him. You can tell he was disappointed. Dude, the show got done early! So me and Kelsea were outside for like 20 min. it seemed like. I was freezing! It got warmer when I saw that KC looked at me from the step (I was behind it,so he had to lean over the rail!) lol. Also, Angel came up to us and said sorry about the way they played and shit, and he gave us a hug! We were shocked. I love Days Like These. It's nice to know that there close with there fans. Anyway, it was getting late and even the bands had left!.. Ant and Judah (spelling) lol. were standing out front waiting for a ride. We got talking a little out there since we were a little stuck too. Haha. Then Kelsea's mom finally came! We started to get going and then we went back to get Ant and Judah and give them a ride home since they said they would give us one! It was hilarious taking them home. Ant was just rambling about fighting mostly. Judah was quiet. When we dropped off Judah, Kelsea started talking to her mom, and all of a sudden Ant starts going on about something! (lol) I was laughing so hard. It's good to know we can talk.

School has been good I guess. My grades are superior! (lol) and I'm not kidding! Of course little things are pissing me off though since it's "that time of the month" Today I had really bad cramps and that was weird to me since I never have before, but I put up with them without any medication. Go me! Heh.

I love Julie! She just made up this song for me. In fact, I must post it.
XxVincezLadiixX: I love lesley cause she do delicious I love Lesley, I could spend the day with her, if she says thats okay.

*thinks* Is that all? Um, I think so. I can't wait until tonight because the new season of Real World is on! Everybody go watch it! I'm out,later.

Decision )

8 ---»( breathe )

Anger. [29 May 2003|09:08pm]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | No Life- Slipknot ]

Well today I stayed home from school. Tomorrow I have a show to go to even though my father and me just got in a fight and he said I can't go, that's bullshit, I'll end up going.

Try this: My father was trying to preach to me about smoking when he knows that I am fully against it. I kept telling him that I don't care and he's just spitting about words that make no sense. Honestly, why would I want to hear about smoking when I hate it so much? Then he says I can't go to that punk show tomorrow because basically I wasn't listening to him. Does that make sense? Also, he said if I knew anything I'd get straight A's. Now that's bullshit too because all smart people don't get A's and I'm damn sure that he never got those kind of grades. I hate the fact that he can't just play the role of a good father. We have absolutely nothing in common and he's my only parent so I always get bitched at.

Alright, I better talk about a different subject since I hate the last one. I was thinking today about how good things have been. But lately, they've just gotten worse. It's true, the good things in life don't last forever. I'm having trouble with family, my boyfriend, my friends, and school. Man, I can't wait until summer. Alot of weight will be lifted off my shoulders. Only a few more weeks..

Infection )

3 ---»( breathe )

Bitching. [28 May 2003|07:11pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Believe- Smashing Pumpkins ]

I haven't bitched in quite a while so I think it's alright if I do.
- I hate school, just the whole atmosphere of it.
- I hate being sick when the weather is just starting to get nice.
- I hate being stressed because I have a boyfriend.
- I hate how I can never be satisfied.
- I hate having acne.
- I hate how so many people are "suicidal"
- I hate having to eat so much until I feel like throwing up, just so I can maintain my weight or else it goes down tremendously.
- I hate not being close to my family.

Okay that felt alot better. Just breathe.

Close Your Eyes  )

5 ---»( breathe )

.... [26 May 2003|11:30am]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | The Joy of Pepsi- Fine Point ]

On Friday I went to the mall.I met up with Julie'Sarah.There so cool.They bought these gooey ball things.I'm in love with Julie's.For real, like I couldn't stop playing with it.I have to get one the next time I go to the mall. So after the mall, Julie'Vince'Jella'and I attempted to go to the movies to see Bruce Almighty.Of course it was all full,just my luck so we went home.

Saturday- Bruce and I went to the movies and saw Bruce Almighty.I loved that movie.Jim Carrey is hilarious,nothing but.

Yesterday I went to a show with Kelsea at Eugenes.The first band who played was Fine Point.The drummer was awesome,but everything else sucked.It was funny though because the dudes gave out free pepsi's,like a whole carton.Too bad that I don't like Pepsi.Next was this guy named Anderson Marchack.Wow,um,hmm,I can't eveen describe how much this dude sucked.He was singing so soft and then all of a sudden he'd scream! (lol Kelsea) It was so horrible! After that weird ass dude, Days Like These came on! Damn are they good.I love listening to them.It was cool because they played an old song (Low Five) The Anderson dude requested it.Next time I'm going to ask Angel to play Keep Smiling,I love that song.Oh,and before they played there last song, Mark (bassist) said something to Angel (singer) and Angel said "here's to you two girls,you guys are awesome!" That was so incredible.After Days Like These played, Angel came up to us and shook are hands and said, "thanks for coming out to all our shows,and we have a show the 30th" Kelsea said, "yeah, we're going!" lol she said it fast. (well, thats what I think) After that, Kelsea went to get me a shirt. (lol) I'm shy so that's why. Oh,and I forgot to mention about this guy.While Anderson was playing, this dude just came down and sat next to me and said, "what's up?" I said nothing and gave him a weird look since he's like 20.Jessica! This was the dude at Franklinville with the piercing between his eyes,you know,that skin. (lol) I'm dumb,but yeah! I was like where's his crew! The last band that played was Lenity.They had two girls in the band! How awesome is that! Anyway, they were really good and they are Christians.I can't wait to see them again.Heh, it's funny because the drummer just IM'd me a few minutes ago asking how I liked the show. (I knew him from midnight bowling)

Today I am going to my sisters and having a barbecue.This shall be fun,even though it's raining.My sister's husbands family is coming,but later on.See,my dad can't stand there family (lol) so we are eating earlier and then leaving right before they come.Well actually, I think I might just stay there.I don't mind the family at all.Plus,they have 8 kids and 3 are my age so we can just chill.Alright well that's all,goodbye.

Happiness )

4 ---»( breathe )

Yo [23 May 2003|06:11am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Cross out the Eyes- Thursday ]

Today was an awesome day,so many laughs.In third period I was talking to Marissa though about why she was upset and it's because of Lauren.I agree with her though,it seems like lauren has a new crowd since she went "preppy" She still talks to me,but it's so weird.Marissa was her best friend and now they hardly talk.I feel so bad for Marissa.I still love her! (lol)

In study hall Kelly and Nicole were practicing their parts for Romeo and Juliet.It's funny as hell.this one part she has to say "how,how,how,how" with emotion and she just says it silent! Haha,she has no future of being an actress whatsoever.Oh,and if Kelly reads this, remember the "nose piercing"? (lol) That shit was so funny.I washed my hands like a zillion times!

Julie called me and we were just laughing the whole time,it was great.Then Bruce called and sadly I let her go.Then she calls back like 5 min. later just to tell me one little thing! Haha,I was dien,I love you Julie! Remember- pimpette!

Bruce- Yeah,in case anyone didn't know,we go out now.I hope this one lasts.It's going great right now though.I can honestly say that we can talk about anything.I never could do that before,he's like my best friend.Last night he fell asleep on the phone.Aww,it was so cute.I feel bad becaues usually he goes to bed at 9 and I keep him up until at least midnight.

Jella- You little spy! Staring at your next door neighbor! Put down the binoculars and get your ass outside and talk to him! (lol)

Kelsea- Remember,we have that show on Sunday!!

So today's friday,hmm.I don't know what I'm doing.Julie is going to the movies with Vince because it's there 6 month anniversary.Most likely I'll stay home like a friggen loser!!

Alright well I'm leaving.Goodbye:)

Twisted )

7 ---»( breathe )

Hi there [20 May 2003|08:09pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Smooth Talk- Days Like These ]

Wow,I'm finally updating.Too much has happened since I last updated so I'm just going to shorten things a bit.

Bruce- Well,we're doing fine.We talk just about every night.One night we talked for 5 hours! Jesus,that's really long for me.I hate using the phone usually.We get along good and are at the same page.He makes me happy and yeah,all is well with him.

Ant- On Friday, Ant actually talked to me and I got the courage to talk back! Yey. (lol) Usually I just freeze,but this time I just played it out.It feels good to be friends with him again.

I stayed home from school on Monday,pretty cool.

Today- This day was pretty blah.Well, for school at least.When I got home I was just surfing the web for some "summer clothes" I only found one shirt that I liked! (lol) I swear,fashion sucks these days.I might have to start making my own clothing line.

Dilemma- Last Saturday Bruce and I were supposed to go to the movies but then he couldn't,so we decided to go this Saturday.Seems great,right? Wrong! I just got this mail from Losing Ground telling about there shows.A huge show is this Saturday in Millville! I totally forgot about this one and dammit,I really wanted to go! Now I have to choose between Bruce or shows which is a big part of my life! What do I do?!?

I'm making a cut list.You people don't know how to fucking comment and I'm sick of it! Oh,and if I made a mistake,please tell me! I did this list kinda fast so I may have fucked up!! So yeah,please remove me from your list imediately,thanks alot.


Discover )

11 ---»( breathe )

::sigh:: [12 May 2003|08:23pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Closer- ¤NIN¤ ]

Hi there.I have to catch up,I missed a few days.Well,earlier on Saturday I got asked out by Mike,and I said no. In some way,I felt like I am'did lead him on which that makes me feel like shit.I said no because of Bruce,I have to admit it.On Friday,I flirt with Bruce like the whole day.He's shy,yet not.I like that.

On Saturday,I went to Franklinville with Julie'Jella'Vince'and Kevin! (lol) We were packed in that truck.See,it was a little weird car ride there because Kevin was going to break up with Jella that night and she was well aware of that,so silence was a factor.I was hanging out with Jella on the floor most of the night.We didn't talk or anything.I know she was quiet becase she was waiting for Kevin to talk to her,but I was just mellowed out.We were standing by Fallon near the middle of the night,and guess who comes over?!? Ant! He asked Fallon for a cig and then he said, "hi" to me.I got shaky and tounge tied.I can never say hi to him,and that pisses me off! Then,when he walks away,I start fucking crying.I have no clue where this came from,I haven't cried for about a month and then here I go at a public place,just great.Luckily,no one saw me except Jess,but that doesn't matter.Ugh,I hate myself for what I did that night!

Today- I got my seat moved in Algebra.Mike was talking to me,that's why.I'm not mad at him for it even though he thinks that.I fuckin' hate where I sit.It's all the way on the other side of the room! None of my friends sit by me,I'm next to a bunch of fuckin' dorks.Today I sat there with this angry ass look and didn't talk to anyone.Ugh,Mrs. Rieger's a bitch in a half! But the good thing is,I actually learned something in Algebra today.Honestly,I haven't got anything that she has taught us since October,so maybe I'll start rackin' in those A's (lol)

After first period,I passed Julie in the hallway and she had she had to tell me something.I was biting my nails all through second period.Dwayne was talking to me and he was asking if I liked Bruce.I was like, "why?" We didn't get to tak to long,because it's hard to talk when he's way across the room,whispering! (lol) So after second period,I speedwalked to get Julie and she said her and Bruce were writing back and forth about me,hehe. (lol) So yeah,Bruce likes me! Yey! Dwayne and Mike Kuhns are asking me if I would go out with him.I'm like, "dude,we only talked once!" Tell me people,shouldn't you talk to the person a while before you go out with them? Please comment! (lol) So blah,blah,after History,Mike Kuhns grabbed me and held me still against the lockers and then Bruce comes up behind me! Ahh,I was so nervous.He asked me for my number and he gave me his.I'm pretty happy.But on the other hand..

I think Mike is mad at me.I think he knows about this whole Bruce thing.I mean,I do like Bruce more than Mike,no doubt,but I feel like I'm somewhat commited to Mike since we've talked longer.What do you guys think?

Jella,I have to say that your doing quite well on this break-up.Hang in there!

On another note,I got a new layout today! This girl made it for me,I absolutely love it! I had to do the coding though,oh jeez.I must have invested 2 hours worth of trying to get the codes to go right! I'm exhausted.Well,I'm going to go.Please comment me everyone!

Julie,thank you so much for talking to Bruce! I love you!

No Breath )

14 ---»( breathe )

¤Long Day¤ [10 May 2003|12:41pm]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | Holding Back- ¤88 Fingers Louie¤ ]

Hi there.Wow,it's been quite a long time since an update.Yesterday was a pretty good day for me.I had a German trip (Lancaster,PA.) so Julie and I walked to school early.We thought we could get a back seat but when we walked towards the bus,we saw that like everyone was already there (lol) Gosh,we felt stupid.But luckily,Kelly saved us seats in the back.The ride there was really fun for Julie and me.We were just jammin' to Hanson'Eminem.People kept looking at us.The people on the bus were really gay! No one was even talking! Anyway,it took us 2 hours to get to the Farmers Market.Julie'Kelly'and I walked around in the food place and our eyes were set on these cookies! We ate some,and then we all felt sick,just great huh? (lol) After that,we saw Wayne'Jesse'and some other guys behind this camper that was kinda far.We snuck up to them and they were smoking! (lol) Next we just sat on this bench inside and Dwayne gave me a piece of his Apple Pie.Yum,it was so good.After the farmers market we went to this movie.It was just a small theater (not in a movie theater) just a room in a building.We had to sit on benches which are really not comfortable! The movie was cool though.It was about a 16 year old Amish boy who basically changed his way of life to an American.The movie had like 4 screens which were 3D,very awesome.By the time that was done,we walked to this house.This lady was preaching to us about the Amish,man was she a bitch! The house was boring.Next up was lunch! We went to this restraunt who makes Amish food.I sat next to Julie and Bruce.Julie was hilarious! She said she couldn't sit where she was because Chris is gay and she couldn't stand the way he talks! She put up with it though.Finally the food came and we were all suprised.The food was nasty.Well,most of it was.Julie made me try this corn and holy fuck,that was so fucking bad,it tasted like some fucked up corn'wheat bread.I didn't eat that much of the real meal.While we were waiting for desert,Bruce made me drink half and half.I saw him drink like 4 so I was thinking it must be good.Ugh,not good at all! Desert! Well,half of my table was gone when the waiter came,so they not that many people got to eat desert.The waiter talked so fucking weird.I could not understand what he was saying at all,so I just ordered what Bruce did.It was shoofly pie.We got ice cream with it.Man,that shit was really good.After all that,we had to get going to come home :( I had so much fun there.On the bus ride home,I sat next to Bruce and Kelly'Julie'and Dwayne sat behind us.There was this potty behind Julie,and like all of a sudden everyone had to go.Dwayne started this trend of putting his hand out the window of the bathroom, haha.Kelly got cut up by the the window because the fucking door shut on her! (lol) I don't know why,but on the ride home Julie was being pretty quiet.I think she was uncomfortable since she was sitting on the arm of the chair for the whole 2 hours! She's a beast for that.When I saw the school,I was pretty happy because I had a headache which was geting worse and worse each minute.On the way out,fuckin' Bruce knee'd me in the ass,how nice.

As soon as I got home I took some pills for my headache and then I got ready to go the show.I only had a half hour to get ready! Kelsea picked me up and we went to this punk show at Landis Middle School in Vineland.At first,we went to the back since we saw alot of cars there.This man was there with a clipboard and asked us who we were going to see.I was abotu to say Days Like These,but I kept quiet.They said fans have to go in the front entrance! (lol) Seriously,you have no idea how stupid Kelsea and I felt! So we went to the front and we were suprised to see that the show was in the fuckin' auditorium! Dude,there were all these seats and this stage built up front,so you couldn't mosh! Damn were we pissed! Not to mention that only 30 people were there the whole time! The bands must have felt like shit.Kelsea got a shirt there that the guy from One in a Chamber through at her,go Kelsea! (lol) She knew him so that's why,still cool though.He through another one at me,but this bitch took it and then later Kelsea told me that she asked me if I wanted the shirt,but I didn't hear her,so FUCK! Hmm,not much else to say.That show sucked,I am going to another one on Sunday with Kelsea at the Franklinville VFW so that will be a hell of alot better.Well I have to go now and babysit,later.

Shit )

5 ---»( breathe )

¤Speechless¤ [06 May 2003|10:22pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | No Time To Cry- ¤Cradle of Filth¤ ]

"Your a god damn ungrateful little bitch" ::objects thrown::
- father

7 ---»( breathe )

¤No name¤ [04 May 2003|10:56pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Greatest Story Ever Told- ¤Oliver James¤ ]

Today's Sunday and as you know,this day is rather boring since most places are closed.I made the best of it.Jella and I went to the bowling alley to play some pool.After that,we walked over to the movies and saw "what a girl wants" I absolutely loved that movie.I have to get it on DVD.

I want to move.Lately I've been thinking about this.I love the feeling of when you first move into a new house in a remotely new town.There's so much to do and explore.Not to mention that no one knows you so surely that is a good thing.Just think.All of your worries are gone.You can start fresh and clean.I want this so bad..

I am making a new name on Blurty.I will not give it out to just anybody.It pisses me off that I have people who list me as their friend and never comment on my entries which I do to yours.Of course there are some exceptions,it's a shame the number is only 3.Don't be too suprised if your cut from my list.

Fake )

4 ---»( breathe )

¤Semi¤ [03 May 2003|11:44pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Closer- ¤NIN¤ ]

Yesterday was the day of the semi.I went to school with no make-up and with my hair not done.Alot of people were suprised.Anyway,I got my Biology test back and I got a 77.Mrs. Wright said, "nice job" but I was upset.I need to study harder.Also,I had an Algebra test.It was basically easy except for 2 questions that I guessed on.I should get an 80,which is fine for me.

After school,I came home for a little while then I went to get my hair done for the semi.As I was walking in,I saw Kelly's shirt and I just knew it was her.She was with Michelle.I was so happy they were there so I got to talk to them the whole time.The girl who did my hair did a great job.Everytime I go to get my hair-cut,she always does mine,she's so cool.I love how my hair was.It was up in twisties and then curls in the back which didn't come out!

By the time my hair was done,I was extremely hungry.I ate chicken kiev (yum) and then I did my make-up.Oh gosh,I bought $25 worth of make-up.I'm getting addicted.

I got my dress and shoes on,then went to Rachel's house.Haha,when I got there,she wasn't ready at all. Then,Mike and Brandon came in.I heard Mike's voice and I got nervous. (lol) All of us went outside for pictures. Ugh,I didn't want to get picture,but oh well.I must say that Mike looked very nice.Also,he got me this really nice corsage! Mike's father took us all to the semi.We were listening to rap on the way there,haha.

When we got there,everyone was chillin' outside.I saw Julie Mac. first.She looked cute.Then I saw Julie and Jella.Both of them looked gorgeous just as expected.We went to pay and Mike payed for me.That was so sweet,of course I felt bad! Oh my gosh,the gym was decorated really nice I thought.They had this ship which was so pretty.I loved the swirls! (lol Kelsea) It was nice to see everyone dressed up.I got compliments so I felt pretty special.I did have an awkward moment though.It was when Jordan and Lauren came up to us.I didn't know what to say or do.I must admit that during the semi,I was looking around trying to find him.I wouldn't have spoken any words,but I guess I just wanted to see if he was having a good time,without me.I'm not quite sure what this means.He told me he had a good night though and I'm happy for him,honestly.

Mike was begging me to get pictures for so long and I wouldn't budge,but yes,I finally gave in.He got both packages! I told him it's a waste,but he didn't think so.After we got our pictures,we were talking to mainly Cody Ore and this kid from Cumberland Christian that Mike knew.There funny.Then I saw Andrea and she said hi.I was suprised,we don't usually talk but we're "cool" She looked really nice.

Mike,Rachel,Brandon,and I went outside.I saw my old History teacher from last year (Mr. Breig) and he wanted a picture with Mike and me.Mr. Brieg is so nice.He whispered that I looked great and gave me a thumbs up,that made me smile.

After the semi, I went to Rachel's house with Amanda P'Caiti W'and Rachel (duh) The twins (lol that's what I call Mike and Brandon since.. they are twins,lol) went with Rachel's dad back to her house.We got there after them.As soon as we got there we got changed! (lol) It felt so good to take off my shoes.Then we just sat around in her living room and ate.After awhile we got bored and wanted to go outside.We were playing frisbe and filling up water balloons and throwing them at each other.'Twas fun.I had a white shirt on with a bra so I had to keep watch so I wouldn't get too wet and have it see through.My father picked me up at 12 and I got home and mmediately got in the shower.My hair was so hard to get out.I had to wash it 3 times to get all the hair-spray out.

Today I woke up at 4! That's the latest I have ever slept,really.I ended up doing nothing tonight.Franklinville is just boring to me now.Today I just sat here.I got to talk to Anthony again.He's really cool.We're going to hang out this coming up weekend.And no,I do not like him,we're just friends,honestly.Alright well I guess I'm going to lye on my bed now and think.Goodbye.

Demure )

5 ---»( breathe )

¤Thursday¤ [01 May 2003|10:39pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Sweetie- ¤Le Tigre¤ ]

Hi everyone.I'd like to start with how my day went at school.I was in a great mood all day! Sounds unbelievable right? (lol) In Biology, I said this beasten thing and I got a jolly rancher for my answer! Go me,go me! Haha. I can't believe how good I'm doing in school,seriously.I'm so proud,I can finally sit down everynight and do like 2 hours of homework.I study now too.My life just feels great right now.

Tomorrow is the semi! I can't wait.I'm sad that I'm not going with Julie and Jella there though.I can't wait to see them all dressed up! They'll both look gorgeous.I want a picture of all three of us and I want to make a journal layout with us 3 (blue phaze!) Booyah! (lol) Well,I tried on my dress again today just to make sure it fits and all. I wish I had a better body (lol) but oh well,I guess it looks okay.Now I don't know how I'm going to get my hair done and I better think of something fast since the semi is tomorrow.I definitely want curls and I was thinking about twisties (spelling) lol,or something like that.Ahh I'm so scared.I just hope everything is perfect tomorrow! I'm going with Mike to semi so I know I'll have fun,he cracks me up.I just know I'm going to trip and fall and rip my dress or get something on it since it's white.I get so paranoid about these things.Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Waiting )

2 ---»( breathe )

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