Im in Ohio   
07:52pm 16/05/2004
 
mood: satisfied
We drove to Ohio thursday night. I ended up staying all night with my sister that same night. We surprised everyone. I went to prom with Nick (my ex) last night and it was pretty nice. He got us a hotel for afterwards and that was even better. *wink wink* Hee hee! He left his socks on and that totally pissed me off. Linda said that Mr. Simmons was worried about me not taking my finals. My mom took me out of school thursday like it was nothing and we drove to Ohio the next day. How cool, huh? Nick wants me to chill with him tomorrow but i really dont want to go to his house. I cant stand his parents and he still has school until June 6th so i cant hang out with him that long even if i do hang out with him. Im waiting for my dad to get back from Indian Lake so i can hang out with him and get it over with. Ive grown so far away from him and its like hes nothing to me anymore. I still dont know if im moving back up here. We'll just have to wait it out and see. Later.
 
     
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A Slow Death   
06:35pm 11/05/2004
 
mood: exhausted
music: Selena- 'Dreaming' (Yes, i know...im gay!)
Bc every one was talking and the sub had to call "security" on a few kids, we are not allowed to talk for the rest of the year in 3rd period. I wasnt there (obviously) but the sub did notice people walking out (as i did). Ms. Kennet is a bitch and she said she was so disgusted with all of us that she didnt even want to teach us. lol. We are the "worse class she ever had." It hurts everytime i breathe and i am very tired today. There is going to be a nap for me. I did my quiz in geometry and if i didnt get above an 85% on it (which it seemed easy so i should have gotten a good grade on it) then i will fail the course. If i move back to Ohio, then it doesnt matter what happens. I have been working my ass off and i dont even know if its going to pay off. Tim bit me in 2nd and now i have a welt/bruise on my arm. That little fucker. Ben did see that i was the one who smacked his ass. lol. My convo with Nick went very well last night that he didnt want to get off the phone with me even though it was past my bad time (yes i have a bed time, ugh). I need to talk to my parents about how im growing up because they obviously dont see it happening before their eyes. Come on. Im 17. Get my off the tit already! This quiz said that i was going to die of HIV. How ironic. J/k. I must have done something really bad to my knee because its been hurting me for 2 weeks now. I cant bend it or put it straight without it killing me. Whenever i crouch down or get on my knees then its very hard for me to get back up. Im only 17 but yet im falling a part. I have been doing 20 crunches a night. I hope it helps me with my stomach. Thats all im worried about. I had to back talk my 4th period teacher because he kept taking the answer sheet away from me when i was copying it. lol. He actually yelled at everyone yesterday. Thats a first! Me and this girl is planning on skipping 3rd tomorrow so we dont have to deal with the bitch from hell. Her name is Jasmine or something. I dont know how to spell it. Gabe is so annoying that i cant help but to say mean things to him. He thinks hes funny but hes really not. He sleeps in 1st and i throw paper wads in his hair and i rock the table so he cant sleep. lol. Im so mean. People who dont believe in abortions are gay. What if u got pregnant or got a girl pregnant and u obviously cant afford it, i know you will want to get one then. So dont say abortions are wrong. Im atheist so thats probably why i dont care. My great-grandparents were cousins and they got married so does that mean im inbred? I know im Native American but having a family from Kentucky marrying other family members is sick and now that means im an inbred freak! No wonder why my family has problems...we keep it in the family. Ewww! Thats something that would make you want to kill yourself. My mom didnt know that until recently. She told me. I always forget what trible my family comes from. My grandma knows but i always forget to ask her. I need to get some sun on me before i go up north so people dont think im a freak because i live in Florida and im a freaking cracker ass. I think im going to go to the flea market with my mom this weekend. I need to get me some 'Its a southern thang' and 'Dixie outfitters' shirts. They are cheap there. And i can get me some cheap belly rings. My mom found out that someone in our family died this morning. I really didnt know him but she was torn up about it. It happens. Sad to say. I am a red neck! I think im going to go take a nap now. Later.
 
     
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Silence   
04:30pm 09/05/2004
 
mood: crushed
Somethings are better left unsaid...
 
     
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Mother's Day   
12:12pm 09/05/2004
 
mood: sleepy
music: Nelly Furtado- 'Try'
Today is mothers day. I gave my mom the card i made her. I sent her an email with the nautical stars. She likes them. She said something to my dad about it and he said "we arent going to talk about that right now." Party pooper! Its all up to him whether or not i get a tattoo. She wanted to ask my cuz about any tattoo places and take me to get it before i go to Ohio. Id rather have my dad be there. I never even seen anyone get a tattoo before but i know its gonna hurt like a mo-fo! Im hungry. Bacon just doesnt do the trick sometimes. Later!
 
     
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Ugh   
11:12pm 08/05/2004
 
mood: stressed
music: Fanny Pack- 'Camel toe'
Nick called me. We are still clashing. I dont know what my problem is. He said he'll call back around 11pm. Well, its kind of hard to call some one when they are online and use dial-up. I was watching this real good movie on lifetime movie network about how these 2 boys got switched at birth and the parents decided to keep them and not switch them back even when people of a higher power said to. I got bored and came on here. It was good though. Linda has done pissed me off. A courtesy call would have been nice. I expect way too much from some people. Everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong in the matter of weeks. I lost 2 friends, a boyfriend, not sure if im moving back to Ohio, getting a saturday detention, and screwing my relationship up with my mom. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and i made her a card. I was pissed off when i wrote all the crap inside so im going to have to re-read everything i put to make sure its okay. I havent talked to my dad in a week. I was hoping he would call me instead of me calling him every time. My mom thinks its cool how we are going crazy together. Oh, how life sucks when your a teenager. Im not sure when Nick is going to read the email i wrote him. He thinks its full of a whole bunch of bad shit when its only the truth about me and how i feel. Even though i dont know whats going on or how i feel in the first place. Im going to stop writing and maybe he will call when i get offline. Ill update tomorrow. Later.
 
     
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So little time   
08:03pm 08/05/2004
 
mood: crappy
music: Unknown- 'God help me'
I have been formatting my blurty for hours and i had to ask Molly how to do something so i can make my blurty just perfect. Nick will be off work soon. I wonder if hes going to call. I dont think anyone even looks at my journals. I have an AOL journal that i write in every day. Ill post the link on here sometime. I must have slept wrong because my neck has hurt ever since i woke up. Maybe i need to go to a chiropractor or something. Still dreams to move to Ohio where i can get a tattoo and new puppy. (Male boxer of course.) All these hopes are waiting. Buh bye.
S/n: SuiCidAl NigHt 0
 
     
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So many times ive cried   
07:02pm 08/05/2004
 
mood: restless
music: Evanessance- 'My Immortal'
Everything is happening so fast. I wrote Nick an email telling him everything about me and why i say and do the things that i do. Im not sure how hes going to react. I dont know. I wish i knew that the move was final so i would know what to do. If i go back to school in Ohio, then i will have noone. Of course i will have my family, but everyone hates me there for no reason. I want a nautical star tattoo. Im going to get one when i get up in Ohio over the summer. I dont know if i should go back out with Nick or not. Can someone change so greatly? We'll just have to wait and see i guess.
 
     
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