~bloody cherry~'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
~bloody cherry~

[ website | My Velvet Cravings ]
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She just got up and left. The blood stopped half way up the corridor. [27 Nov 2003|08:10pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I feel yucky today.
Three science tests, and I'm so stupid I couldn't understand any of them.
Perverted men keep sending me horrid messages. Cunts.
And I look even more disgusting than usual.
I'm useless. Fat, ugly, stupid and emotionally retarded. I have NO drive. I did, but I'm guessing it flew away with everything else worth bothering with.
I don't want these exams.
I don't want this crappy life.
I don't want this mess of a body.
I want something else.
I want to leave and live somewhere pretty. With someone who I adore, who interests me, and makes me laugh and smile, who I never ever ever get bored of talking to. I want to be able to write for months on end, and get turned down by publishers, so I try again and again and again, until I finally get published. That would make me so happy. But no.
Take you exams. Work hard. Go to college. Figure out what you want to do. Well I have. And I don't need ANY if this. I just don't.
I want to be happy with who I am. And I'll never be able to when I'm like this. I want to leave.

Oh, FUCK.

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Meow, little pussycat? [26 Nov 2003|09:14pm]
[ mood | calm ]

How exactly do you tell someone you like them?

I know that sounds REALLY stupid, but I honestly don't know. I've never had the guts to do it.

Any ideas?

~smooches~

4 comments|post comment

I am made of glucose. Bite me. [26 Nov 2003|07:07pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]
[ music | Bad Day - REM ]

I was not at school today. Eeesh! Naughty. Heehee. I had really bad cramp and it hurt to walk. Going in tomorrow though. Modular tests. Argh! Anyhoo.


He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.


Mmmm...mah tummy hurts. But apart from that, ah am feeling quite...ok. Yessum. Though yesterday turned into a BIG disaster. Not today though. Hopefully.

Big slushy french kisses and warm cuddly snuggles

xXx

1 comment|post comment

Je t'aime [25 Nov 2003|04:15pm]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | Talk To Me, Dance With Me - Hot Hot Heat ]

Bloodyness.
Yah. Damn periods.
My day has went something like this.
Good mood --> Bad mood --> Good mood --> Bad mood --> Good mood --> Bad mood --> Good mood --> Bad mood --> Good mood --> Bad mood --> and back again. Over and over and over.
Why?
1. I'm a girl. Therefore, unfortunately, I get especially pissed off each month.
2. One friend said something they shouldn't, and keeps shouting at my best friend and saying stuff like 'I'm not talking to you.' Well, my best friend should be the one shouting and telling her to shut up. And I know. Because I'm the one who informed her of what had been said. (Me saying anything MIGHT have something to do with the fact that she was a bitch to me a while back. MIGHT.) Anyway, it's annoying. And it pisses me off, because I can keep secrets.
3. The school computers would not let me log on. Sooo, I couldn't find the short story I started and send it to my hotmail. Which is really stupid. I would have been able to send it when I started writing it, if the fucking teacher hadn't kept looking at it and making sure I didn't go on hotmail.
4. I keep doing work but it feels like none is getting done.
5. Every so often, I want a damn hug! A REAL one.

There are probably more. Meh. Should I mention my angry feminist emotion? It's becoming more frequent. It's my anger personality I think. And people are more likely to reply on those boards when I'm angry. Which is crap.

Anyway. Big warm snuggles.

xXx

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One of those question things that take ages but take away boredom. Slightly. [24 Nov 2003|05:59pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Big Bang - Bad Religion ]

What does your name mean? - ‘My judge.’ Wow.
How old are you? - 15
How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?)? - Ranging from 3 to 30
Describe yourself in 5 words - sugary*odd*bitchy*average*ugly
What are your worst qualities – Can be childish, stubborn and waaaay too jealous.
What are your best qualities – Umm…I give good hugs.
How long does it take you get ready in the morning - 20 minutes
Do you dream at night? – Sometimes.
Do you remember your dreams? – Well, not all the time. But if they’re vivid…
Describe one. – Umm…last night I dreamt I was snuggled up with someone very lovely. Yus. I can’t describe anymore. Kids might see it.
What time do you go to bed usually? – 11pm
What time do you wake up normally? – 8am
What time do you wake on weekends? – 10am-12pm
Do you find waking late nice or annoying? – Can be either. Depends where it is.
Do you sleep with one pillow or two? – Two. Though one is so old and thin it could be classed as just one pillow.
Do you like school? – No. No I don’t.
Why/why not? – Because I have no interest in the babble they want to force feed me.
What’s your fave subject? – It WAS English
Most hated subject? – PE (humiliating) RE (Bitchy teacher) Media (Yawn) French (Speaking. Yuck) Science (Booooring)
Do you have a fave teacher? – Mr. Irving. Mah Geography teacher.
Ever had a crush on a teacher? - *thinking* Nope.
Are you a maths/science person or an English/drama person? – I suppose I’d be English. But NOT drama.
Do you have heaps of friends? – hahahahahaha. No.
Do you have a best friend? – I have someone I call that.
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends? – Ummm…More girls. Just.
Do you ever get annoyed at any friend? – Yes. Quite a few.
Have you ever lied to a friend? – Yes.
Have you ever stolen a friends boyfriend/girlfriend? – NO! They have terrible taste!
Do you like your parents? - No.
Ever run away from home? - Once.
Ever thought about it? - Lots
Do you have any siblings? – One. A brother.
If so, do you like or get annoyed with them? – I’m always annoyed with him. He’s a brat.
How old are they? - 10
Do you feel your parents spoil you? – Not really.
Do you not get along with any of your family? – Ummm…no.
Do you have big family get togethers ever? – A few times.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? - No.
Do you have a crush? - Yes.
If so, are you in love? - I might be.
Do they know you like them? - I haven’t told them, if that’s what you mean. Do I make it obvious? Most probably.
Is it serious or playful? – In between I think.
How long have you liked them? – I don’t know. Do people keep track?
Ever done something stupid to impress them? – No. I do stupid things anyway.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? – Unrequited lust. But it’s just as annoying.
Do you find it romantic or hurtful? – ROMANTIC? Are you insane? It’s the most painful thing ever. And that was just lust.
Ever had sex? – No.
Believe that a person shouldn’t have sex before marriage? – Marriage is a joke. They can fuck before after and in between if it makes them happy.
Believe in casual sex? – No.
When do you plan/when did you lose your virginity? – I don’t plan. It might not even happen.
Do you have a religion? - Apparently I’m Christian.
Do you practice it i.e. go to church? – No. I’m not that gullible.
Do you believe in God? – Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Depends on how I’m feeling.
Jesus? – Yes. He’s the book to David Blaine’s film.
Satan? – Only when I believe in God.
Heaven? – Yes. You don’t have to die to be there.
Hell? – Yes. We’re here already.
If you died tomorrow what do you believe will happen to you? – It’d take them a few days to find me, then they’d burn me and put the ashes somewhere crappy. Possibly the river Tyne.
Does death scare you? – Not really. At times it can be an appealing thought.
Have you ever been drunk? – No.
Taken drugs? – No.
Stolen? – No.
Shoplifted? – No.
Tried to commit suicide? - Once. That I remember properly.
Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend? – Once. Sort of. But it doesn’t count.
Gotten into a fight? – No.
Are you more innocent or guilty? – Of what?
Would you date a drug addict? – Which drug?
Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict? – No.
Are you racist? – No.
Are you discriminatory to anyone? – No. Ok, males. Sometimes.
Have you been a hypocrite in the past? – Probably, but so has everyone else.
Do you have an open or closed mind to other people’s beliefs and feelings? – Open. I hope.
Do you watch tons of TV? - Not as much as I used to.
How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months? – Umm…once…
Do you listen to the radio often? – In the background. Yah.
Do you read the newspaper? – Nope. They lie.
Do you read magazines? – Not really.
Are you a couch potato? – Nope.
Do you use the internet too much? – Haha, how much is too much?
What's your fave style of music? – style? I have noooooo idea. I like music music.
Do you play an instrument? – Xylophone. Ha.
Do you sing? – Yes. Badly.
What’s your fave band? – I have too many. Shhh.
Why? – Because I do. It’s hard to choose one.
Have you met them before? – I’d say a lot of them are dead. So, no.
Name 3 CDs that you’ve bought in that last year. – Youth and Young Manhood by Kings of Leon, Coral Fang by The Distillers and Elephant by The White Stripes
Why did you buy them? – Ummm…why do I have to justify my purchases?
What’s your fave sport? - Badminton
What’s your fave sport to watch? – Watch? Booooooring.
Do you have a fave team of any sort? – No. They all bore me equally.
Do you play a lot of sport? – No. Only when forced.
Ever won anything for sport? – Hahahaha, no.
Are you funny or serious? – Umm…somewhere in between. Depends on stuff.
Creative or not? – I’ve been told I’m quite creative. Yah.
Logical thinker or lateral thinker? – Depends what I have to think about.
Are you outgoing or shy? – Shy. Ugh.
Are you lazy or active? – Umm…lazily active.
Have you ever been hyperactive? – Sugar highs! Woooooo!
Are you a naturally hyperactive person? – Not really. Well, I might have been.
Are you happy with the way you look? – No.
What would you change? – Nose, lips, tits, hips, feet, stomach, legs. Ugh. Everything.
Do you wear makeup regularly? – Mascara. Lipgloss. Yah.
Do you have a large wardrobe? – Not realleh.
Do you have a job? – No.
Do you like it? – like what?
Are you a saver or a spender? – I can do both. Spending is more fun though.
Do you work hard or slack off? – Slack off.
Have you ever been fired? – Never been hired.
In trouble at work? – No.
Made a major mistake? – Yes.
Ever had money stolen from you? – Not that I know of.
Are you always broke? – No. Just most the time.
Your all time most embarrassing moment? – I can’t remember. I probably blocked it from my memory.
Ever snorted drink out your nose? -No.
Ever giggled like an idiot? – All the time.
Ever embarrassed yourself and pretended nothing happened? – Probableh. Hasn’t everyone?
Ever tripped in front of someone you liked? – Yes. I was pushed though.
Ever said something really stupid? – Every time I speak
Ever snorted while laughing? – Hehe, probably.
Ever fallen off a bed? – Yes. Owwies.
Ever sleepwalked? – Once. Apparently.
Ever sleep talked? – Yes. Haha.
What’s your best memory? – Best memory? I don’t think I have one.
Worst? - My mam and dad shouting before she left. It was really scary.
What’s the weirdest memory you have? – Watching myself cry.
Do you have a good memory? – Not really. I can remember silly things though.
What’s the coolest holiday you remember having? – Umm…Portugal was nice. Well, the barman was.
Ever had funny thoughts and laughed and no one understood you? – Almost every day.
What’s the first thought that comes to your head when you hear these names?
Melissa – Sabrina!
Bob – Boring.
Vanessa – Total bitch
Alyssa - American
Jess – Surf-ey.
Brian - Wilson
Charlie – Mah dog!
Olivia – Newton John
Drew - ET
Lily - Tiger
Anita - Librarian
What’s the first thoughts that come to your head while hearing these words?
cheese - Milk
rubber - duck
clothes - bright
big - me
dress - dolly
jacket - potato
polyester - plastic
kite - crap
washing - boredom

Can you feel the boredom? Can you?

Mwah. Soppy french kisses.

*BIG snuggles*

xXx

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You Gave Me Your Neon Glow [24 Nov 2003|04:28pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Love Cats - The Cure ]

Here are some new poems for you all...

Come Join Me In Club Psycho
It’s not fear in my veins
It’s golden syrup.
It’s not bondage in my soul
It’s arithmetic.
It’s not a loser in the mirror
It’s a bitch with mousey hair.
It’s not blisters on my skin
It’s emotion.

It’s not love in the air
It’s the anthrax.
It’s not mother in the kitchen
It’s my suicide cult.
It’s not words on the page
It’s the dust mites.
And it’s not blisters on my skin,
It’s emotion.

Broken lucky charms
Yesterday when I woke up
My arms were all scratched up
And I only faintly remember the night before.
I cried until I couldn’t
But the pain would never go
So I took my nails and dug them into my arms.
I stared into the mirror
As I turned the shower cold
And I do not really remember what I thought.
My skin was turning blue
As I wrapped the towel around me
Then I took my nails and dug them into my arms.
I stood there criticizing
Every part of my rotten flesh
And I do not really remember how I felt.
I laughed as I lay staring
At the darkening walls around me
Then I took my nails and dug them into my arms.
I was hoping that they’d hear me
So I wouldn’t be alone
And I only faintly remember why I was.
I was clinging to the pillow
There was no one there to hold me…
So I took my nails and dug them into my arms.

Instinct
My aching cuts they sweeten
Taste of sugarlumps and moonpie,
They heal and burst
And I’m injected with the glee.
I giggle, giggle, giggle
As I cover myself in starshine,
And I sing and I laugh and I smile
To soothe the sores.

My bloody veins they turn
To sticks of glucose,
And they scrape and snap
Inside me with the cold.
I split and I burn
While standing in the fire,
And I scratch and I claw and I scream
To soothe the sores.

Baby, Baby
Vanilla perfumes
Cherry wine
Luminous echoes
Blueberry pie
Neon smile
And dreamy eyes
Hello, my sweet,
It’s been a while.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Boys in my science class we're being twats. Talking about vibrators and stuff. Apparently only lesbians use them. Funny. I'd rather use a vibrator than have ANY of them anywhere near me.
I really need a hardback, plain paper, A4 notebook. Yah. So I can start putting my poems and stuff in. My very own book. Woohoo! And I need to get my coursework done. Fun. Yucky. Mocks start next week. We still don't have a timetable. Grrr. Pathetic school. Today I'm happy though. For now. It's going up and down a lot more frequently. Yah. Well, big french kisses for you snuggly people.

*snuggles*

xXx

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Stairway to a seven eleven... [21 Nov 2003|04:41pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

The day Miss fucking Potter cancelled Christmas. Grrr to her. The witch. No Christmas service. On our last year.
Mah legs hurties. Mwah. Tango!
Sorry about those poems. I know. Crap. I was boreded.
The boards are boring. Yus.
And...and...SPONGEBOB!




Smooshes for everybody!

*snuggles certain people*

xxx

1 comment|post comment

Blah. Poetry. [21 Nov 2003|12:45pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Wrapped up with you, for eternity
Cuddled and cosy in your arms
Snuggled close, against your chest
Where you keep me, safe from harm.

*~*~*~*~

Cry your tears of heartbreak baby
I will make you smile
Cut and bleed for me my baby
I will drink your poisons
Double up in pain my baby
I will take it back
Kiss and heal your wounds my baby
I have tried my best.

*~*~*~*~

I wasn't good enough for you,
Was I?
You didn't have the will to wait,
Did you?
I couldn't make you feel like all those other girls did,
Could I?
So there isn't a point to us anymore,
Is there?
Slut.

*~*~*~*~

Sicken me, with your plastic emotion
You're gutless, you stick to me like glue
Surrender to me, for I am your Queen
Bitchy, self-righteous and blue.
So fuck you!

*~*~*~*~

Your sores are turning black,
Like your heart and your soul,
Your mouth is so infested,
It's completely lost control,
Your arms and legs are broken,
You have cuts on your thighs,
But you are still my baby, beautiful,
If only thorugh my eyes.

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A poem, a...thing, and a bit about my day. [20 Nov 2003|09:00pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Butter babies melted my heart,
And cupid ripped my spirit to pieces,
Emotional torment left me blistered and blue,
And you made fun of my pain.
Word after word without any guilt,
Tearing my smile with your claws,
Emotional aching made my tears cold and raw,
And you made fun of my pain.
You swore you loved me with all of your heart,
Planted the seed in my mind,
Now when you kiss her it should hurt twice as much,
No one makes fun of my pain.

~*~*~*~*~*~

'You got her pregnant
And now you're in trouble
But I'm not going to help you
Cos you were bad and broke my heart'

Sudden change is never really worth it
Life after death won't be as fun as it sounds
You'll marry a bitch and she'll leave you
Now c'mon turn that frown upside down!

Can. You. See. Me. Crying?
Hoping. You're. Ok.
Wishing. It. Was. Worth. It.
This. Aching. Every...

Shakespere was never good with women
You're even worse on the town
But you'll never be a genius
C'mon turn that frown upside down!

Can. You. See. Me. Crying?
Hoping. You're. Ok.
Wishing. It. Was. Worth. It.
This. Aching. Every...

You'll never be a millionaire
Maybe you can borrow my crown
I might let you be Queen for a day
C'mon turn that frown upside down!

You...

Cunt?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Both very rough drafts. Don't like either. We had a nummy supply teacher in Maths. She was from Belgium. I feel meh. Yes I said MEH.

Kiss you.

*snuggles*

1 comment|post comment

Sicken Me [20 Nov 2003|08:20pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Perfect - Alanis Morissette ]

It’s odd. When I wasn’t talking to him, he was more of a memory, and I felt regret and sadness and stuff, but it didn’t seem real. I kind of, missed him. The him I adored. But, when he spoke to me, and he told me that, I felt newly hurt, and angry, and it felt real, and now. I cried until I was sick. Until I couldn’t cry anymore. But it just, kept hurting. Like I was trying to hide it from myself. Convince myself again that this wasn’t happening. But it did happen. It was real. He made me angry. But, somewhere inside me, I still wanted to be able to hold him, and kiss him, and make him alright. To love him and give him all the affection he wanted if it made him happy. It hurts so much, because even though it’s pretty much been ‘over’ for a while, this was like the final straw. Everything will change now. He’ll change again. And his plans for us will disappear. I’ll be just some horrible mistake to him. And it’ll be like he never ever said it. Let alone meant it. Which is a shame, because I was willing to give him every ounce of love I had inside me. I guess he just doesn’t want it.

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Again, and again, AND...again [19 Nov 2003|04:24pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

No wonder he hasn't been online. He's been busy. With his girlfriend. I wonder if he ever once thought about me? I wonder if he ever meant it? Probably not. I feel like shit.

I'm going to bed.

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Pwease hug me, I am Misery Belle... [18 Nov 2003|05:33pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | mtv2 is on in the background ]

God today was depressing. I left my key at home, but remembered all my homework (for the morning anyway). Which turned out crap, because in the two lessons where I was supposed to hand homework in, the bloody teachers were off. Then, I went home at dinnertime, but I forgot my key, so I couldn't get my French coursework or my PE kit. So, when I went into my French lesson she made me write out the foundation coursework instead of the one I have on my computer, and I then I didn't need my PE kit because we were getting our photos taken. How fun. So after the photos were done we had to go to the sports hall, where we had to watch the boys playing basketball. Ugh. THEN, I went home, still without my key (obviously), and guess what? No one was in yet. So I waited from 3:20 until 4:55, when my brother and my Nanna finally got home. Then, I get in, have no clean clothes, and no access to the internet on my account. I really could use a hug.

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Aren't Kiss scarier without the makeup? [17 Nov 2003|10:33pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Apart from hotmail, msn and the internet in general being crap today, I'm still in a pretty good mood. And, I now have money. I'd have a bit more but I bought some luminous knee highs which I've decided I don't like because you can see my legs through them. But they looked pretty in the packet.
I saw the repeat of the Frank Skinner show. Isn't Michael Stipe the MOST adorable person ever? He's so sweet. And funny. Awwwww. I want to give him a cuddle. And Robert Downey Jr. is scrummy. And Michael Moore is just great. Then, I started watching Cruel Intentions for about the millionth time since I bought it.
I mean, look.
Yummy.He's melty.
My favourite! He's great.
Smexy. She is so very sexy in this film.
Who wouldn't want to watch it ALL the time?
So, school was boring. Indeedy. Geography teacher was off, there was a fight in Chemistry and media is so unbelievably boring I was falling asleep. Mmmmm....Robert Plant. Hmmm, I'm saying 'mmmmm....' a lot lately. Like, 'mmmmm...Robert Plant, mmmmm....Michael Stipe...mmmmm... Dominique Swain' It happens. Often. Odd. Lovely. I like pictures. Of other people anyway.

Snuggles for everybody

xxx

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Dyke? And that's an insult because....? [16 Nov 2003|06:16pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | Bliss - Muse ]

Am really bored. And I still have work to do. It's all so confusing. I took pictures of Casper today. Super wabbit! And I cleaned his home. Now I think I'll clean my room, print some stuff out for my Technology and try and make everything non-confusing. Oh deary me.I found a really nice website with buttons on. Look. It's in America, but still. I can send cash, and I have some extra money somewhere, so, yes. Lovely. And there's a lovely skirt (and a dress) on Ebay that I want so bad. Oh well. I think I better leave the computer and do something. Possibly get a life, as has been a popular suggestion lately. I suppose that's it for today. Snuggles for everybody!
I adore all you people who make me happy :)
You all know who you are.
Mwah.
Snuggles xxx

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Snooch! You're so snuggly bunny! [15 Nov 2003|09:17pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | The Hunger - The Distillers ]

Hellooooooooooooo!!!!
I'm still good. Giggly and smiley and stuff. Indeedy.
Sooooo...I talked to him today. it doesn't feel like we ever said 'I love you' or anything. It feels...like nothing.
I went to my mam's. We made cookies. And watched Donnie Darko. And her puppy, Wisp, attacked me lots. Kisses. I started thinking today. I'm too shy. Really too shy. I can't remember the last time I started a conversation with someone face to face. Or phoned anybody. Or even started a conversation on msn.
Whhhhhy is that? Hmmm? Anyone know? Because I don't. Sometimes I bug the hell out of me.
Nevermind. At least for now I'm smiling. And that's nice. Crying starts to hurt after a while. I'm so incredibly bored though. Can you tell?
Thought so. It could be worse though. At least I don't have to go anywhere. I look disgusting! Yup. We have coconut snowballs, and ice cream, and donuts. Nummy. Is there anything on tv? Will I ever figure out why I'm so shy? Will I find something to do?

No, no and, no.

Snuggles xxx

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Shiny Happy People!!! [14 Nov 2003|03:01pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I'm soooo happy today! :)
I woke up all smiley and giggly. It's odd. This good mood. I'm not complaining, just saying. It's odd.
I feel like...this!
That's how I feel. Happy. Except slightly less...pink. Heehee.
Anyhoo. that's about it.

Snuggles everyone xxx

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Mmmmm...Michael Stipe. Smexy... [13 Nov 2003|09:03pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Heart Of Glass - Blondie ]

Mmmmm....hair metal. Van Halen. Motley Crue. Poison. God dammit it's like an orgasm-inducing, makeup covered, hairspray and guitars bonanza! Fantastical! Yessum. You can't deny that it still has the power. There is a little bit of hair metal in everyone. There is. They most likely inhaled it.
So I was ill again today. But I don't care. Because I'm not miserable. And Cruel Intentions is such a good film when...ever. And Alice In Wonderland is fun. Soooooo....hmmm...Cut it by Colour Of Fire is goooood song. Yes. And...I'm still waiting for my CD. I watched the powerpuff girls today. And Spongebob Squarepants. Heehee, it was funny. I no likey my room. It's too warm and I can't sleep. Not snuggly warm either. Just...ick.
I made my fluffy socks into armwarmers because they had holes in the toes. Indeedy.
That's about it.

Snuggles xxxx

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Want to see my song/poem/rant thing? [11 Nov 2003|09:22pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Well tough. Cos you're seeing it anyway.


You are touching someone else
But you still say you love me
The thought of your hands on me makes me sick
But you still say you want me

You fucking cunt!

Vaporize the love we had
Strip it down to bloody bone
Boil and burn it’s rancid flesh
It is nothing on it’s own!

You are kissing someone else
But you still say you love me
The thought of you and her makes me scream
But you still say you want me

You fucking cunt!

Vaporize the love we had
Strip it down to bloody bone
Boil and burn it’s rancid flesh
It is nothing on it’s own!



I am being real unfair
Using him against you
I really wish you’d fall to tears
And now you say you hate me

Listen…
You can hear me
Crying…
I can’t stand it
Listen…
You can’t love me

Love is just feelings confused and excited there is nothing to stop you from being…

Ugh, YOU FUCKING CUNT!




So, there. Crap. Made me feel quite better though. But I'm still an idiot. 'If I give you one more chance, and you hurt me again, I never, ever ever want you to speak to me again. This is a real last chance.'

I can't believe I did that. How the fuck can he make me say those things?

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Dance like disco doesn't suck! [11 Nov 2003|04:54pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Here it is. My Facewhore.
It's slow though. Yup.
Anyway, how am I today? Happy. I still feel kind of ill.
My feet are cold.

Cuddles xxx

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I'm ugly? Tell me something I don't know. Pretty please. [10 Nov 2003|09:53pm]
[ mood | cold ]

It kind of makes me sad when people hate me for no reason. I feel like throwing up. I must be hatephobic. Or something. But I didn't want to make this entry about cunts who aren't worth it. Sooo...
Daz, Alex, Megan, John, Laura, Hippo! and anybody else who doesn't make me feel horrible, I adore you so much. Continue being the perfect friends you are and I'll try my best to be...less...irritating...
I doubt some of you will see this though. I'll have to say something.
Well, that's all I wanted to say. Umm...please don't get sick of me?

Snuggles xxx

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