07:36pm 07/06/2005
  blargh?  
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i'll run away with you by my side..   
10:21pm 15/05/2005
 
mood: giddy
music: "echo" by trapt
i've got a new boyfriend. he's one of my "clearfield boys." heh. his name is dan (yeah, another one...hopefully a better one.) and he's *gasp!* 15. yeah, almost three years younger than me. i don't care. he's such a nice guy and he hasn't been hurt by any stupid girl before so he's not jaded. -sigh- i'm just really content now.		  
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i want the pain of payment   
09:32pm 09/04/2005
 
mood: crushed
music: "i'm a fake" by the used
i don't know what my problem is. jason and i broke up like more than a month ago now but i'm still not over him. i want to see him so bad and i'm practically reduced to begging him to come see me. and he won't. or can't. it makes no difference. it still feels the same. i wanted him to come up tonight so bad but he's not and i ended up crying in a restaurant. i hate myself. i'm pathetic.		  
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so slice open my veins..   
04:59am 03/04/2005
 
mood: suicidal
i so tired of being there for everyone else when no one's there for me. i'm only appreciated when i can be used for something. i take care of everyone else when they need it but when i need someone to take care of me, everyone just walks away. who the fuck cares if i'm left alone and feeling like shit? who the fuck cares if i can't even stand myself anymore? who the fuck cares?		  
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ugh...   
04:42pm 02/04/2005
 
mood: crappy
i think i did something stupid last night....but i can't remember for sure because i was drunk. but i do vaguely remember...so it must have happened? and now i hate myself. oh god..		  
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i'm not going to prom.   
03:26pm 31/03/2005
 
mood: disappointed
music: "the transition" by hawthorne heights
i asked kyle to prom today...yeah, it took me that long to get up the nerve to do it. and it was all pointless. he said no. -sigh- what's so wrong with me that no guys ever want me? am i that ugly/stupid/annoying/(insert bad quality here)? must be..		  
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don't forget to write...   
10:39pm 22/03/2005
 
mood: bored
music: "blue burns orange" by hawthorne heights
Name: Angela
Birthday: 6/12/87
Birthplace: DuBois, Pennsylvania
Current Location: Brockway, Pennsylvania
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Naturally dark blonde, currently black
Height: 5'6"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Both, but I'm better with my right because I use it more often
Your Heritage: Polish, Slavic, Dutch, English, mostly Polish, though
The Shoes You Wore Today: Uhm...Not sure of the brand. They're dark pink and white though
Your Weakness: I let people walk all over me
Your Fears: Spiders, needles, death of others, rejection
Your Perfect Pizza: extra cheese, pepperoni, and onions
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To graduate...? lol
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Oi
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Why can I toss and turn all night but my bed suddenly because the most comfortable place in the world in the morning?"
Your Best Physical Feature: Uhm...I have no idea. My eyes, maybe?
Your Bedtime: Around 11 or midnight
Your Most Missed Memory: Fishing with my grandpa
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK's fries are better
Single or Group Dates: Hmmm...Depends
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Only when I drink
Do you Swear: Yup
Do you Sing: Constantly and off key...
Do you Shower Daily: Yups, unless I don't have time. I make my best effort to, though
Have you Been in Love: I dunno...I thought so at the time
Do you want to go to College: Yes
Do you want to get Married: Someday
Do you belive in yourself: Uhm..sometimes?
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: Meh. Not really
Are you a Health Freak: Definitely not
Do you get along with your Parents: Half of them
Do you like Thunderstorms: YES
Do you play an Instrument: sort of? Guitar and bass, but I suck cuz I never practice.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yeah
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Uhm...yup
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yeah
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Uhm...No
In the past month have you been on Stage: To paint the scenes..?
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Hah. I haven't done that in my entire life let alone the past month
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Haha. Yeah.
Ever been called a Tease: Yes
Ever been Beaten up: Nope
Ever Shoplifted: When I was five..I stole a piece of gum and then felt so bad I couldn't chew it.
How do you want to Die: Uhm...I wanna be old and loved and warm and safe in my bed.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: English or History teacher
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Green...
Favourite Hair Color: Dark hair...
Short or Long Hair: Shaggy hair is nice...
Height: Meh...Doesn't matter, really. Tall guys are cool though.
Weight: Doesn't matter.
Best Clothing Style: Uhm...not naked?
Number of Drugs I have taken: Different kinds? 1..
Number of CDs I own: Maybe 50 or so?
Number of Piercings: three
Number of Tattoos: None...yet. That'll change this June.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Too many to count...		  
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shine on diamond eyes...   
10:01pm 16/03/2005
 
mood: bouncy
music: "the transition" by hawthorne heights
i'm asking someone to prom tomorrow...and i'm nervous and excited at the same time. i hope he doesn't say no...cuz i'll feel like a butt. wish me luck. =)		  
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if this is what you want then fire at will..   
08:14pm 08/03/2005
 
mood: gloomy
music: none
why can't i get over this? these fucking pills don't work. nothing works. everything i touch turns to shit. stay away from me if you're happy with your life, i'll only fuck it up.		  
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we were meant to live for so much more   
01:10pm 28/02/2005
 
mood: depressed
music: "operate" by the peaches
i'm so sick and tired of getting hurt. i don't want this. i wish i could end this. i wish people would just stop trying to make my life hell. what the fuck is so wrong with me trying to be happy? huh? will someone please fucking tell me???		  
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i live for the nights i'll never remember with the friends i'll never forget.   
03:33pm 19/02/2005
 
mood: hung over
music: "your sweet sixsixsix" by his infernal majesty
i got drunk off my ass last night and stoned on top of it. i know, i know, you're so ashamed of me. whatever. i had fun, mostly. plus, i got some freaking funny pictures of bri. woo!		  
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v-day sucks   
05:00pm 14/02/2005
 
mood: annoyed
i hate today with a passion. rah!		  
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10:32pm 03/02/2005
 
mood: pissed off
music: "operate" by peaches
i wish i was a guy so i could kick rich's ass and make him leave brianna the fuck alone. he broke up with her, but won't stop following her around. he's a creep. i used to like the kid, but i fucking hate him now.		  
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fat fat..   
09:23pm 02/02/2005
 
mood: calm
music: "nobody puts baby in the corner" by fall out boy
i'm going on a diet...i want to lose 15lbs.		  
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fate fell short this time...   
09:06pm 01/02/2005
 
mood: bored
music: none
and so i went above my mother's authority and brought up the way i'm feeling at my doctor's appointment yesterday. i'm now on antidepressants and my mom's pissed off. i'm sorry, mom, but i don't want to feel like shit my entire life. accept that. in other news, i'm signing up for soccer. come watch me kick ass...i mean, get my ass kicked. woo!		  
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she burns   
11:39pm 30/01/2005
 
mood: indescribable
music: "what it is to burn" by finch
why am i not allowed to be happy? everytime i try to make myself happy there's always someone there to shove me down. and it's really sad when it's my own parents. what's so wrong with me that people always wanna see me miserable? what did i ever do to them? why do my tears make others feel better about themselves? i hate this. i don't wanna do this anymore. i hate this.		  
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squeeeeeeeeeeee   
05:01pm 27/01/2005
 
mood: sleepy
music: "a safe place" by the beautiful mistake
mr. shuckers, my communications teacher, wrote me a recommendation for edinboro's honors program. read it, bitch.

Angela Shadduck has been a student in my senior communications class during this academic year. This class is designed to teach advanced writing skills, give the students a chance to have their writing criticized as part of a small class, to publish their writing for a non-school, adult audience and to learn Adobe desktop publishing procedures. For the past ten years we have published a monthly magazine that is distributed to the legal, business and media community in our area. It is designed to give voice to teenage points of view and opinions as well as teach interviewing and research skills. The course is a full credit, full year course that is an elective open only to seniors.

Angela has excelled in this class. Her writing ability in all the genre has been among the best in the class. Her writing is clear and concise; her style has attracted the attention of many of our readers because of its clarity and "enjoyability" factor. She has dealt with complex issues and presented them in clear, easy-to-read articles. Angela aslo accepts criticism very well; I never have to suggest the same improvement style twice. Her work is always done ahead of schedule and she has been willing to take on additional responsibilities to make the publication better. She volunteered to edit the first issue and did an excellent job in that position. As the year has progressed and my expectations increased she improved to meet them. She also has all of the person qualities I would expect of a student in an advanced course. Her integrity and industry are unquestioned. She thinks independently and has an original, creative approach to many topics. I can recommend her to an honors program with absolutely no reservations.

yay! i love mr. shuckers. i probably won't make the honors program, but i figured i might as well try. wish me luck. i'll keep you posted.		  
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03:59pm 26/01/2005
 
mood: worried
oh, god.		  
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when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am...   
05:18pm 22/01/2005
  i don't even know where to begin. there's too much to tell, and not enough worth telling. it's snowing. has been all day. it's really cold. i want to do something, but i'm not allowed to leave the house. i'll wreck my car, according to my mother. so i'm stuck here and i hate it. i failed my trig midterm. i don't know that for sure yet because we just took them yesterday, but i think i did. it was hard and i wasn't prepared. i got mail from edinboro today..an application for their honors program. i'm not applying, because it'd be a waste of time. i got my class rank and gpa yesterday...and i'm disappointed in myself. -sigh- bri's 22nd in our class. i hate her. i haven't spoken to jason since...thursday and we hardly had anything to say then. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't know much of anything anymore.  
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-sigh-   
10:34pm 13/01/2005
 
mood: frustrated
music: "dancing through sunday" by afi
i don't know what to do anymore...		  
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suffersalvation
 
 
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