| I cannot believe this... |
[30 Nov 2004|08:04pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Nympetamine-Cradle Of Filth |
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I just can't fucking believe this. I'm so fucking stupid. I still like Dustin...And I told him..And I don't know what to do...Everything makes me think about him, and I can't stop!! I can't take this anymore...I wanna move. I really wanna fucking move. If I move, then no one'll know how much of a whore I am, and no one can call me a whore because they won't know...They wouldn't know about Alex, or Dustin, or anyone...I wanna forget everything and start over...I don't wanna be caught in between all of this shit...I just wanna fucking die...that way no one will ever have to deal with my bull shit...ever...
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| YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! |
[29 Nov 2004|01:59pm] |
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mood |
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Grrrrrr |
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music |
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Wannabe-The Spice Girls |
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Yes. Welllllll, this is my blurty...that no one knows about...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....well, I'm sure some people do...but hell. Screw you guys.
My mom called a god damn realtor...which means more mayhem for my family....we might move I guess. Which sucks...I defintely won't be able to take it if we do. I could barely spend a week away from stafford, and erica, victoria, alex, katie, clarissa, heather..EVERYONE...=/ and it sucked. I don't wanna fucking move...but I'll have to...even if I say I'm not gonna move if my parents say we're moving...I know I'm gonna because my dad's not even buying a house in stafford, and he's such an ass hole...I dunno, I can't fucking stand it. I'm sick of having to leave and never see any of the people that I love to death ever again and having to start a new life in a new place where I don't know anyone. Where I miss home, and all I do is sit in my room and cry while cutting. Because that's how it is...I move, I miss my friends, my school, my entire life that I left there, and all I can think about is cutting, and how much better I'll feel if I do it. And it won't matter anymore because no one'll know because they won't see me...which means I can't do it all I want and no one will be mad at me...because they won't see it. Like when I was on the cruise I did it, and I could just do whatever because no one I really knew was there except for Steph who doesn't really notice all that much...But....I'm such a fucking whore...
I'm sick of going from guy to guy because I feel so insecure, vulnerable and alone. I finally got Alex after the whole six or so months dealing with the Dustin thing, and now I might have to move...I can't take it. I just can't fucking take it.
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| Every living creature on this earth dies alone |
[13 Nov 2004|03:44pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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TV stuff |
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A new journal...
www.greatestjournal.com/~ninjas_attack
www.xanga.com/comma_x3
If I don't update...there it is bitches.
Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can fuck
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