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| 06:08pm 05/11/2003 |
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mood:  silly
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Man, I really want to update my journal, but nothing happens in my life that is worth writing about. I'm afraid that if I did write about the things that go one in my life, you all would fall asleep in a matter of seconds. The only thing that I'm really looking forward to is the concert on Sunday. Well, gotta go... Later |
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| 10:49pm 31/10/2003 |
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mood:  content music: lalala
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Yeah.. so I went with Jaymes to Fortville. And I gotta say that it is an awesome little town. I love it. It's kinda like that place in that movie, "Pleasantville". Except that it's not so pleasant. lol.. It has bikers, hippies, hillbillies, and all kinds of weird ass people. But it's so small that almost everyone in the town knows everyone else. I wanna live in a place like that when I get older.
But anyways.. While I was lieing out on the sidewalk with Jaymes (don't ask), I thought a lot about my life. I'm always complaining about how boring it is, but now that I think about it, maybe it's better to have this boring life of mine. I mean, having an eventful life can probably get old and dangerous. For example, I'm sure that all those druggies living on the streets have eventful lives, but what good is a life like that? I'd pick my lame ass life over that anyday. |
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| 08:52pm 27/10/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: Alkaline Trio- "This Could Be Love"
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Oh sh*t.. I feel like crap. I feel like I keep on going deeper and deeper. My depression IS getting worse. No matter what they say. The medicene is NOT helping. I doubt it will ever help me. I want to just get off of it and handle this on my own.
The only things that make me slightly happy these days are.. Jessica, Jaymes, and music. That's pretty much it. Jessica has been such a great friend to me, even though we haven't known eachother that long. She has been there through everything that I have gone through in these short months that I have known her. And the same thing with Jaymes.
But uuhhh.. my dad is going back on midnight shift. AHHH! That is gonna change everything so much.. and I absolutely HATE change! I want everything to be the same. Like it was when I was happy.. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| blah.. |
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| 05:01pm 26/10/2003 |
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mood:  lazy music: Avenged Sevenfold
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Okay, So I know that it took me a while to update. My computer has been acting super funny. So, I can never get to the website. Cuz the website is too complicated for this piece of sh*t computer! AHH! |
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| I hate Jessica!! |
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| 07:46pm 25/10/2003 |
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mood:  crazy music: "Right Thurr"
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I'm over at Jessica's house and she's doing her homework. I was sitting on the ground reading old Seventeen magazines. Now we're listening to 'Slob on my Nob.' Omg... So, that's why I hate Jessica.. bye |
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| I hate Jessica!! |
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| 07:46pm 25/10/2003 |
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mood: crazy music: "Right Thurr"
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I'm over at Jessica's house and she's doing her homework. I was sitting on the ground reading old Seventeen magazines. Now we're listening to 'Slob on my Nob.' Omg... So, that's why I hate Jessica.. bye |
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| Anti-Flag show! |
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| 09:00pm 16/10/2003 |
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mood: happy music: Anti-Flag
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Well, as you all know, the Anti-Flag show was yesterday. It was so awesome. So, this is what happened..
I got to go backstage cuz the security guard pulled me out from the crowd during Anti-Flag cuz I was hurting so bad. (My legs were pinned to this speaker.) I stayed back there with Bekki and then when the set was over, I got to meet all them. It was so awesome!!!! More later. |
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| |shut up| |
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| 09:33pm 13/10/2003 |
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mood:  anxious music: None
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AHHH... ONLY 2 MORE DAYS!!!!! I can't wait until Anti-Flag. I'm so freakin excited. So, right now, there's not much that I'm upset about. Yes, I finally realized that I am almost ALWAYS upset about something, but right now I'm pretty much in an up mood. Yeah, well I think I'm gonna go to bed now cuz I got about 3 hours of sleep last night. So, later kiddies.. |
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| hahaha... bonfire... and drunkin dad |
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| 11:27pm 11/10/2003 |
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mood: amused music: UP!SCUMBAG!
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hahaha.... I had such an awesome time tonight at this stupid family bonfire thing. There was like a shitload of people there, but anyways.. All the adults were drinking and my dad got super drunk. So, he was, of course, acting so stupid. It was the first time that I've EVER seen him drink. haha... He was so crazy. But now, he is sleeping by the toilet. I guess he had a BIT too much to drink there.. hahaha..
But anyways... Yesterday was my birthday. It wasn't too horrible. I went and saw some local bands at the Emerson with Jessica and I have to say that UP!SCUMBAG! is pretty freakin awesome. Welp, later .. |
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| IMPRESS?!?! IMPRESS WHO!?!?! |
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| 07:22pm 07/10/2003 |
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mood:  annoyed music: A Static Lullaby
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AHH... Why does time go by sssoooo... damn slow? I mean, it's only 7 something and it feels like it should be like 10... I'm so bored!
Well, I don't quite know what to write because I'm thinking about so much and I confuse myself. How can you tell someone what you're feeling, if you don't even know? Yeah, that's just a little tricky.
All I do know is that some people piss me off because they like to talk about people behind their back. AND.. I would like to know how I am trying to impress people by dressing the way I do? I mean, this doesn't impress anyone! At least, I don't think so. So, if the way I do dress impresses anyone out there, please do me a favor and tell me so. I mean, because maybe I'm just clueless and the way I do dress turns someone on or something. Hah.. like that's ever gonna happen.
But I'll be whoever in the hell I want to be and no one else can persuade me to do otherwise. If I wanna dress like a slut, I will. If I wanna dress like a wigger, I will. Jeezus!!! People get me so frustrated sometimes. |
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| My Birthday Party... ::sigh:: |
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| 08:14pm 05/10/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: Green Day
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Aren't people supposed to look forward to their birthday party?! Well, not me.. My mom is forcing me to have a freakin party.. So, anyone is invited.. It's on the 17th from 6:00-11:00(or whenever you feel like leaving). It's at my house! WOO HOO!.. Yeah, it's 5137 N Hartman Drive.. talk to me if you don't know where in the hell that is. Invite as many people as you want. But on a happier note.. My birthday is this Friday! It's hard to believe. I'll finally be 16.. ! Jeeze.. that took long enough. Welp, I think I'm gonna go read "LA ORUGA MUY HAMBRIENTA".. That's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", for all you idiots out there. Later |
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| 09:03pm 04/10/2003 |
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mood: depressed
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Have you ever been depressed, but you don't know exactly why? It really sucks. I mean, I don't wanna complain or try to make anyone feel sorry for me... because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for something that they have not done to me. Perhaps, someone has done something to me. That someone would be myself. Why do I keep all my feelings bottled up inside until that one day when they all come out at once in a huge explosion of depression and anger at the world and myself? |
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| No subject today! |
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| 06:58pm 03/10/2003 |
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mood: indescribable music: Green Day
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AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!..... I got an 85% on my BioGen test! I'm so freakin happy and I have no one to tell! cuz no one is online.. :( But anyways... I saw this AWESOME skirt today at Greenwood. It's black and has white polka dots and has a pink ribbon tied around it... Erin and Mark are gonna buy it for me for my birthday! Which is only a week away!! YAY! ... Yeah, but I must leave to go to the hospital now. Some pretty f*cked up sh*t is going on in our family.. bye bye kids! |
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| press rewind.... |
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| 10:03pm 28/09/2003 |
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| Waste of time?! |
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| 09:33pm 28/09/2003 |
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mood: crazy music: Nirvana
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Sometimes I wonder if writing in this journal is just a big waste of time. I mean, does anyone even bother to read it? Oh well, I guess.. I like writing in it even if you assholes don't come and look at it! hahaha! I don't really have much to write about right now, though. I mean, what can you write about in such a boring life? Welp, later! |
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| ?!?! |
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| 07:48pm 23/09/2003 |
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mood: anxious music: A Static Lullaby
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HAH! My mom is a tard. Tonight, on the way home from my grandma's house.. We were like right by my house and there is my mom saying, "Where's our house? Where's our house? OH! There it is!" haha.. I was thinking," Yeah, maybe you need this dog tag more than I do." Of course, I would never say such a thing to my mother. (hahahahaha.. ;) that's funny) J/K I would too say sumthin like that to my mom. I got slapped for it, but it was funny as hell. So, it was all worth it, right? lol I think it is so ammusing how they say things such as, If I said that to my mother, my father would spank me. hah.. Yeah, and if your father spanked you these days, he'd probably get charged with child abuse, not to mention incest. Look at what has become of our world today, guys. hah.. |
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| yeah.. |
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| 07:49pm 22/09/2003 |
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mood:  confused music: A Static Lullaby
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Yeah, so my 16th birthday is almost here and I have no idea how I should celebrate. My parents are so freakin worried about throwing me a party and I could really care less... But my parents are like forcing me to have this stupid party. I have no idea where it's gonna be at and who to invite to it. Hell, I don't even know when I'm gonna plan it for. AHHHH! Somebody please help me.. GIVE ME IDEAS! heh..Oh yes, I have such a traumatic problem.. lol |
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| CRAZE-AH |
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| 10:49am 21/09/2003 |
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mood: crushed music: Into The Silence
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Jeeze.. Why does everything have to be so dizamn CRAZE-AH?! I mean, school is so chaotic. My friends are all changing and so am I. Some of them and I don't seem to get along as well as we used to. Life is full of surprises and I don't want some of them. I want everything to be the way it used to be. The times when I was always happy. Those times were long ago and I can never go back. Sometimes I wish that I could go back in tme and change things, but I know that this is very unrealistic. Damnit, why can't I have one of those Fairy God Peoples that Cinderella had? Life would be so much easier. Not to mention, happier!! AHHHH! |
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| 04:28pm 19/09/2003 |
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mood: lonely music: A Static Lullaby
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Yeah.. so I think I'm going to see the Movielife with Jessica tonight. Because she loves me so much and can't live without me! Yeah, but I have a headache and I dunno if I really wanna go.. But I think I'm gonna go lie down for a while.. later kids! |
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| Blah. . . . |
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| 07:14pm 18/09/2003 |
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mood: gloomy music: ::silence::
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Yeah, so I'm feeling a LITTLE bit better.. but not much.. Oh well.. It's so depressing to see how some people live. (in example: my cousins and aunt) I feel so bad because I know that I'm some-what greedy and selfish. And then when I see them... I feel even worse. I mean, they have to worry about whether or not they're going to get to eat tonight. I never think of that. I don't have to worry about food because I know I'll have food not matter what. It makes me realize that I take a lot of things for granted, but there's no reason to sit here and dwell over stuff. I better get to work on some of my homework and studying. Uggh.. So much fun!! NOT! Later kiddos!
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