Jeremy's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Jeremy (Forgotten Rotted Soul) [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

Another poem... [21 Sep 2006|08:50pm] So let's get this shit started right, right! So like You wanna fuck it up But you don't got enough So you hit out on the weak You whip out and beat You can't get enough gratitude You're losing all the solitude Inside of you Is there no dignity inside Is there no shame to hide you're a pathetic soul you're not even human A murderous foul A soul-less pal I cannot even dream of such a being Cannot fathom your seething Why you do the things you do I cannot see Why you beat down the weak like me I'm just another weak man in the world I'm a geek A freak A tatoo'd -n- peirced shit-fucker And you have no right whore-monger To belittle me anymore I'm just another man in this world Just another mother-fucker.. Excuse teh language but yeh...get over it ;] ~jer 3 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

Gone [15 May 2005|02:48am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Cold - YotS - Cure My Tragedy ] nothings left, can you hear? nothings left, it's all gone. trashed up and thrown away, torn or lost, forgotten or discarded, alive but not well, shaded and gloomed, by the thoughts you place, nothings left, nothings left, it's gone.. the love it felt, is gone.. the things you said, all gone.. nothing more is here, for you to pick up, to fit back together, like a puzzle, the pieces are missing, and there is nothing left, it's all gone. Will you Dare to..?

\m/-/.,.\-\m/ [04 May 2005|04:58pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | Mudvayne - Lost and Found; Fall into Sleep ] Pathway to Redemption; Myself Leading a path to my self I'm following it to my redemption Crossing paths to this new life I'm trying for a new way A new time A second chance Pull my self from the wretched end I'm forgetting the old past Lessen this weight on my shoulders And pull me out the quickening sand I'll not be put so low again I'll lead on with my self I'm in my own life This is under my control Pull me from my self I am born anew Born with light Ready for the this new life I'm ready. I got bad sick last night and woke up reguritating roughly. Then afterwards I woke up almost every hour feeling cramps and sick along with sweating. I thin kit might have either been the food or just a bad stomch virus but I went to the hospital to get it checked out because after PT I got the shakes.. I feel bad because it caused my Supervisor to have to drive me to there and a waste of his work time and we had to sit up there for like 2hrs... It sucked.. ;\ I hate being a problem.. but I didn't want it to be something bad and get hurt at work. Yeh.. anyway, I still feel nauseated and this mediation seems to be working on me so i'm going to eat some more and then sleep. Bye folks. Jer Will you Dare to..?

[29 Apr 2005|05:48pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Mudvayne - Lost and Found -"Happy?" ] .......Sinking Deeper In........ I tear myself apart Each time these fights begin to start Want to show you my good ways And all the better days Of our life and.. We try our best to get through But life cuts deep inside And these things don't heal They don't go away and can't be forgotten They just.. sink deeper down with each new hit And each time I lose my bearing I've forgotten the way things used to be Controlled and denied I can't carry this weight Nothing lasts a whole life But I wish it did And even though these pains Sink deeper in I just wish to cooperate Not to obligate And send you my Love and Wishes And forget all these suspenses Tragedy Erruption Corruption It's all in mind Creeping deeper inside Just want to wash it all away To push it aside Leave it all behind And go on with our lives Please forgive the actions I take The problems I make I just.. Want to make our lives a bit easier Just run a little bit smoother But the pain sinks in Now the fights seem to begin Our debts being paid Our lives being laid And the pain seeps Deeper in.. So just forgive me For the things I do And the things I say The pain just hurts And it seeps deeper in And sticks to my vains Running deeper into my life.. Just forgive me.. Jermz Will you Dare to..?

Goin' Gone.. [27 Apr 2005|07:36pm] Trickling stars falling down Everything is going 'round I've lost my footing on this hold Things seems so weird now And the life I live is falling apart Nothing seems right And now that i've fount you I've sorta fell out of sight Mores gone wrong these days than ever And this can't go on much longer so just Pull my soul away Tear my skin apart Put me in the dark 'Cause thats how I already feel I can't show up Can't give in Because i'm already there So just Pull my soul away Tear my skin apart And set me in the dark 'Cause i'm already there And you're leaving me behind I'm so far Behind Trembled in despair I felt nothing else could compare 'Till I didn't feel you Existence And I fell into a mindless indulgence So now just.. Pull my soul away Tear my skin apart And put me in the dark 'Cause i'm already there. I'm already there. ~Jermz Will you Dare to..?

adou..adou..it's just for you... [21 Apr 2005|05:22pm] [ mood | peaceful ] [ music | Crossfade ] Wednesday, April 20, 2005 Today was an aight day for me. It's mentally roug sometimes. We had about 50 calls today with people having problems with their buildings. It pretty much was just that the A/C was turned on Friday and a lot of them did not work from last year. So we had to send what we call HVAC or "Heating/Ventilation/Air Conditioning" out to fix those. I had one guy be a pain but I guess I can't blame him. Sometimes protocol can be rough ;\ I almost broke my leg today riding my bicycle. I accidentally gearewd up and my pedals kicks from the chain shifting and my foot lost grip so I ended up landing on the "male" bar and my feet scrapped the ground. Luckily I have stellar abilities and caught myself before I fell or really got hurt. Bad part was I was probably going about 30-40mph. ;x Anyway, I best get off here. I have a lot of errands to get done around here before I actually get to go rest and study my CDC's. Hope to hear from someone. Jer Friday, April 08, 2005 Well, i'm in Dyess at this moment at a computer typing on this screen. It's a new place they call the "Bomb Shelter" >.> Anyway, it's a cool place. Has lots of black lights, nice music, rawkin' designs and such. 6 top-of-the-art computers, 3 x-boxs, 3 ps2's, and some kewl ass games to go along with that. So far i've been in here for abour 3hrs playing some games and checking mail. Dyess seems to be a pretty nice place to be, somewhat like my small town so it seems a bit like home. The people here aren't too bad and I made a couple of friends. I have yet to actually do my job yet because I have to go to this class they call "FTAC" or rather "First Term Airman Center". It's for people like me just getting to a new base to get you into thew system and get all your briefing done with in a well timely manner of 2 work-weeks. Yeh, for hours every day we sit in an auditorium and listen to people talk but sometimes we get to experience some of the other jobs on base and go on tours. Monday we get to do a lot of "Services" things like play paintabll, basketball, gold, bowling, etc etc.. Should be lots of fun i'd say. My dorms are pretty nice, I get a room to myself but I share a bathroom and kitchen but soon my "sweet-mate" is leaving because they are changing things up in the dorms. blah. But anyway, at least i'll probably be alone in my room. Well, everythings going well and thought I would let you all know.. but it seems no-one is reading this any more but i'll keep updating as best as possible. =] Later folks. Well, it's been a while.. thats for certain. 6months almost now? Ah well, for those patrons that still read this; Hi and i'm glad to be back, though onbly for a short while. The 28th of this month actually. I been at Basic Training and Tech school these past months and am at home on leave for now. I hope to get a lap-top soon and write in here more often of all the things that go through with my life and such. Basic and Tech school went well I suppose. It had its problems and tribulations of course but I made it through unscarred. I'll be based in Abilene, Texas/Dyess AFB for about 2 years. As far as I know its a small town but it is close to Ft. Worth and Dallas so thats a plus I suppose. I'll try to get a hold of you all as best I can. If you want leave meh some #'s and i'll call ye on my new cell-phone or some shit since I may not be able to get on a computer for a while once I leave here. But if not oh well, tis' coo. Well, I just wanted to let anyone that cred to know I was still alive and well and making it. Hope to hear from you all on this one. Later and Love. Creeping quietly into my failure I watch behind the scenes As you all begin to mock The way of life That I have taken up Forgive me for what I do But I no longer am with you.. And that is my full update directly from Xanga. p00p Jermz 2 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

The Love [22 Nov 2003|11:27pm] I cradle a life, Filthy in strife, Simple as water is a constant need, And cutting is just a way to see if I bleed, Fear to give up my life to another, Scared to seep into this new-found lover, I cross my bounds and trudge on into new ground, To find there a love so round, Curving my every shape and emotion, My body and commotion, Trending to the ways of a life of love, I fit in with her as does hand to glove, I write this to her, For she put away this dazing blur, I thank you, And love you, too, My love. Jer - to my Love 1 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

The Love [22 Nov 2003|11:27pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Chop Suey - System of a Down ] I cradle a life, Filthy in strife, Simple as water is a constant need, And cutting is just a way to see if I bleed, Fear to give up my life to another, Scared to seep into this new-found lover, I cross my bounds and trudge on into new ground, To find there a love so round, Curving my every shape and emotion, My body and commotion, Trending to the ways of a life of love, I fit in with her as does hand to glove, I write this to her, For she put away this dazing blur, I thank you, And love you, too, My love. Jer - to my Love Will you Dare to..?

Darkness slants over the peaks, And all I can see is your glowing face.. [01 Nov 2003|03:10am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Cold - Cure My Tragedy(A Letter to God) ] Halloween this year was awesome though it had it's low points as most days do. 6:00pm - Got Kaleb(my gf's nephew of 1yr 3mths or whatever) and took him for some candy-gettin' fun. It sicked his mom and dad didn;t get him a costume though they couldn;t afford it anyway. It sucked even more THEY didn;t even take him, but they were moving into a new house. So, yeah..whatever. He had gobs of fun. Damn dude is hardcore.. Put on some music and he goes to headbanging and hollering and hell yes, rock on kid! \m/ Anyway, he started getting sleepy about 6:50ish so we went home to drop him off and get dressed ourselves. 7:00pm - Sherrie and I are getting ready for Halloween and Amanda(my sis) is helping us put the make-up on. I looked so scary, yeah. Most people placed me as "Powder", if ye know the movie. I had some glow-in-the-dark make-up on. I shaved my head COMPLETELY bald so I could do my whole head in it. Twas' real awesome. I actually glowed pretty well. Sherrie did an awesome job as well. We had people telling us we were cute together and blah blah blah..yeah. I managed to scare some kids and also make them laugh. Great mix, eh? Oh yeah, I dropped Amanda off at Robbert's, which I dislike him for she just keeps going back to him after he cheated on her with... 3 girls. Heh... Anyway.. 9:00pm - We pick up Amanda and she goes to crying in the car...yada yada and here's the convo.. Me - So, what's wrong? Amanda - Nothing Me - You're crying.. Amanda - Me and Robert sat upstairs watching a movie..and nooooo..we didn;t kiss or have sex or anything like that.. Sherrie - Well, I hope not...heh Amanda - We just cuddled and talked and watched a movie. Me - And? Amanda - He keeped telling me that he wanted to be with me. But I know on Monday he'll just be with some other girl. Then, when i'm with him..he'll "want to be with me". Me - He's nothing but a player and i'd beat his ass if ye told me to. Hell! I'd do it if he got close enough like I told him already. Amanda - Yeah, I know.. Sherrie - Jeremy's right Amanda...you need to leave him alone.. Anyway, that's that and yeah. Well, we get home. Sherrie and I wash up then manage to cuddle in bed together for like 30min. We talked about random things and my mum walked in on us kissing. lol Twas' funny. Welp, that's it folks. *peace* Jer Will you Dare to..?

The feeling of..I miss you. [24 Oct 2003|08:28pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Wasted Years - Cold ] So, I didn't really do nothing yesterday except medicate cows for worms and move some from one feild to another for the winter. Today I just waited for Sherrie to get home and then the 2 of us messed around on the computer. Had pretty much a good time. We went to my grandpas and watched a movie, or well, peices of it(National Security). Was ok as far as I see. She just left to go to her dad's and I already miss her. She'll be calling later so rock on\m/ A petty poem for the lover's.. Wishing.. I wish upon a burning rose, For all the ones who who lost love most, I wish upon a dying star, For all thos that lost yet gone so far, I wish upon a shooting comet, For all those without life and those not lived just yet, I crawl upon my hands and knees, Beg forgivess to all my needs, For all those who have no such things, I am the one which receives such stains, Succled and dry, My life is nigh, And all I ever really wished, Was for you and me to never die. Will you Dare to..?

Virus..mert. [23 Oct 2003|03:29am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Cold - Cure My Tragedy(A Letter to God) ] So, I got a virus and was thus not able to be on anymore. So, as you can see I either got my computer fixed or paid for a new one. I got it fixed. Anyway, I've realy done nothing but laze about at home, work here and there when my grandpa needs me. The g/f and I have been doing excellent so far. I picked up on some new bands, such as: Ill Nino, Disturbed, Mushroomhead and so on. I "spit" some to a friend of mine for the first time. She thought it funny how fast I got and what-not. Anyway, here's a poem from off the top my head.. These dreams I dream, The feelings I feel, The pursue my inner death, Constraining my life's light, I spilled my sanctamony upon the floor, Wept and cried forever more, Slick and slit I am today, Nothing more I am said the abominable whore, And now I feel wretched, Corrupt and stretched with slight splinter, I fall to a oblivous mount, Where thus I am but an utter creature of my domain. Jer 2 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

Um...ew. [16 Aug 2003|07:46am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Headstrong-Trapt ] 5 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

Meh. [15 Aug 2003|02:07am] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | "Now We are Free" - Enya ] So, Larry King died about 3 days ago but Randy(Sherrie's dad) just found his body last night. I barely knew the fellow but Sherrie knew him pretty well. He attended her birth and they had been basically family. She cried in my arms. I knew not what to say except to comfort her. I asked what she wanted me to do and all she said was "stay". I stayed, I would have taken her to her dad's if she'd just given the word. Meaning i'd have to steal my moms car and all but for her i'd do anything, especially then. I felt so horrid I could do nothing more than just hold her but alas I do believe that is all she wanted from me for that moment. Anyway, they don't know what killed him for certain but what's going around is massive heart-attack for now. They are still doing the autopsy and such.. Sherrie is fine now though. I got her laughing and such to get her mind off the happenings. There was some other stuff I was going to add but that is personal to other person(s). Like WHOA! I finally got more points! OK, maybe it's only 20 now but so? I'm moving up. I hope I get privs sometime. It takes a while, even for privs, to even get points too. And it takes a while to even get privs. I watched "Saving Private Ryan" earlier. I want to know wtf that German is saying when he is killing that guy with the knife. It's been beating at my mind all night. Oh well, maybe i'll find out one day. Time passes and you find yourself doubted. Love leaves and you seem at an end. Then there is a peace-wakening upon your heart, when that tender soul you find holding you is sharing your pain. jermz Will you Dare to..?

[13 Aug 2003|03:24pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | "My Letter" - Flaw ] I seem to be just updating weekly, heh. Anyway, I just been on the bored side for a while. Let's see.. I been home most this week doing nothing but tryng to fix the lawn-mower so I can cut the lawn(of course). I don't remember if I said so or not but I went and saw Freaky Friday last weekend. It was awesome but compared to Hot Chick it was inferior. Hot Chick has more good laughs and whatnot. Kristy and Adam(Bro) seperated Monday and I stayed the night with him that day. He was pretty sick and his nerves were whacked. I drunk some Strawberry Dacari's but didn't get drunk. The night went pretty much peacefully there. I went and applied for a job at McDonald's(blah). But a job is a job and I need one.. Felt alone, an utter unknown. I crawl to my sleepless existence, with no true persistance. Forgot the love that was given, let the lies become the life I am livin. Too late for reconcile, no time for I became senile. I creep into the sleak dark of belayed time, slope of a screaching crime.. jermz Will you Dare to..?

sch-a-wing! [02 Aug 2003|01:24am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Static X - Machine CD ] So...been a while eh? Well, I really got nothing to say for the past few days. I have some things I am keeping to myself though.. Only thing to really say is that I went to a Japenese restraunt last night. I ate like 4 plates of food. The food was O.K. Each time I went back for more I got different things. I got some crab legs, Japanese chicken, Burben Steak, Noodles, Pizza, fried crab legs, Clam Chouder, Oyster, Egg Rolls, Jello, Pears, and some other stuff I can't really name..oh yeah..Salmon and Catfish. The food in all just for me costed like $14 so I think that I pretty much served my filling=D In all there was like 15 people there and we all probably spent up to $200 in all tabs included. I got to play "Swap Licks" with Joseph. He is like 3x my size so yeh.. heh. He left like 3 bruise marks on each shoulder. But I left an equal amount on him. He says for a little guy like me i've got some mucle and power~shrug~ Then right after I got my shoulders sore Randall wanted me to play-fight with him. And he like pushed me not thinking I was going to lunge at him and he pushed harder than he thought. He's like 3x my size too so I just basically flew in the air. Landed on the arm-piece of the couch and then fell pushing a cabinet out of my way and landing on the floor. I thought he did it purposely but I wasn't pissed.. my words I think were "Oh! So, you want to fight for real a little, eh!?" and I jumped up swinging but not like full swings to actually hit him. He did the same but I think he accidentally got a jab in on my chin because when it was all done with I was bleeding from the mouth pretty good. I'm aight though because it didn;t even hurt and I never really felt it. We wrestled around like 10min and i'd say he whooped my ass but I got in a few good moves. He also acknoledged that for my size to have picked him up I was pretty stout ~shrug again~ Anyway, I came home at like 12am and my mom bought me this outfit. It's aight looking.. probably costed a bit too. Don't know why she does that.. I like the clothes and all but she spends like we're rich.~shrug~ I shaved my head back to practically bold again so yeah..the long hair stuff was beginning to look nappy. My hair curls too much and spiking it wasn't working because of that. And it was just..blah. We got a car yesterday and put it in my name. It's not like a "whoa.. damn that car fuckin' roxx!" but it is a good car. I like it. Wish you peoples could see it. I'll explain more later when I feel like it. Joseph bought an Iguana. Speaking of which I should have given him that heat rock but all his fault he left before I could. I'll run it down there later when I get bored and see if the doors unlocked and set it somewhere. Guess i'm off now.. see j00 peoples lataz! w00t! jermz 2 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

[31 Jul 2003|08:02pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Not Falling-Mudvayne ] Life is a boring split cut into the wrist using a 4 inch blade. Simple is life when it is Death that comes. I just felt like being stupid.. don't like it? Fuck off=) Will you Dare to..?

[23 Jul 2003|12:36am] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Lightning Crashes-Live ] I d/led a client to try it out on here. So maybe i'll be able to do things faster and such. Hmm..atleast making links and such will be faster..heh. But i'll probably end up deleting this..i'm not sure yet. Are you a Sex God/Goddess? Will you Dare to..?

[21 Jul 2003|04:49am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | "Hero"-Nickelback ] I really have nothing to update o except my dad is a prick. He didn't pick Amanda up today which she waited from like 9am till 1pm and we tried calling with no answers. Finally, he calls to say he has Haydon and is cooking so he can't come till tomorrow. I might add it was his idea my sis come back home for the rest of the summer..damn him. Anyway, I helped move more hay..I worked in the rain the other day putting tarp over round hay bails so rain not get on it. Felt real good to work in the rain. Um, today I did really nothing except watch movie's we had rented. I went to Grandpa's and talked to my sis and Sherrie for a while until like not tooo long ago. I got this tip from a friend about a job. I think i'ma try for it. You have to have computer skillz and really not required but you need telemarketing, telephone, and other shit-skillz. I'ma call them up and ask for an interview and shiz. My mom is going to buy my cousins truck off him and she going to give it to me. Then we saving money up for a new computer. I'ma take this one apart and clean it..delete everything on it..fully re-install..blah blah blah and then i'ma buy parts to make it better. Anyway, i'll see j00 folks lataz..*peace* Will you Dare to..?

[16 Jul 2003|05:09am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | "Lightning Crashes"-Live ] So, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been trying to get my Support skills better and help around this farm too. I've been lazy like the rest of you somewhat. Let's see, where to begin? I went to my sisters Monday and did nothing but mess around there. Played on the PS2 and helped with baby. Went home and fixed up the house some. Around noon-ish Tuesday I helped out on the farm best I could. It's cutting time you know and blah blah blah. Here in about a few hours it looks like i'm going to be moving square hay bails for grandpa. Much fun there=\ It might be harder now because Randall, this guy from Michigan came down with my cousin Melissa, looks like he can't pull too good of weight. He looks like a dope-head which I know he is and he he just looks weak. So he going to probably be more hinder than help. Anyway, i'm off to do better things than rant. Will you Dare to..?

~sigh~ [14 Jul 2003|08:27pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Lightning Crashes-Live ] lightning crashes, a new mother cries her placenta falls to the floor the angel opens her eyes the confusion sets in before the doctor can even close the door lightning crashes, an old mother dies her intentions fall to the floor the angel closes her eyes the confusion that was hers belongs now, to the baby down the hall oh now feel it comin' back again like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind forces pullin' from the center of the earth again I can feel it. lightning crashes, a new mother cries this moment she's been waiting for the angel opens her eyes pale blue colored iris, presents the circle and puts the glory out to hide, hide 2 Slipt into my Darkness| Will you Dare to..?

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