Broken PromiseS' Day

Saturday, April 12, 2003

8:15PM - when most of ur life is spent sleeping, something must be wrong

What a pity, i'm all alone.
i'm waiting for ur call, any sign of regret or sadness, none of which i receive.
My heart breaks and words have no meaning anymore.
The silence is scary and my wounds will not heal.
I search for a deeper sense of faith.
u are no where to be found.
i fell for u, like i always do.
i cry and shatter into a million pieces.
Incisive fragments represent my shattered thoughts.
Searching for those missing words and trying to make sense of what i used to know.
You're a liar, a coward, a fraud, and fiend.
May u burn in hell for ur mistakes.
sitting silently, face stings of warm tears
i want to scream
my voice trembles as the words force their way up my throat.
I bite my tongue.
the blood reminds me of when we were together.
I got dizzy from running in circles each day but now that the sickness faded,
and i'd like to revert back to my pattern.
My thoughts make me hurt deep within.
tehy make me feel ashamed, pathetic and scared.
above everything else, i feel used.
I'm growing tired.
my eyelids drop ever so slowly
i'll lay down for a while, recollecting on fears.
I'll do anything but sleep.

=============================================


Sadness deprives my soul of oxygen and i can't breathe.
Gasping on that one last breath of air, i say ur name.
my scream is merely a whisper that no one notices.
i die in this chair and turn as cold as ur heart.
i'm so happy with out you here, just look at my smile, it pities you.
My lips, blue like her eyes.
I hope she suits ur liking.
These last tears of mine were not mourning out lost love.
I've been drained of all humanity, peace shall finally be fulfilled.
time goes on, and i'm sitting silently in that same chair, still and untouched.
uve moved on and haven't given me a second thought.--what else is new?
i'm merely a skeleton, rotting faster each day.
so old, so fragile, so forgotten by you.
enscribed in my chair are initials.
i swear they aren't yours.

==========================================

This room is so crowded by thoughts of you.
not a single space to breathe.
i'll hold my breath until my body is blue.
this heart of mine aches for someone new.
i look around for that person, anyone that would at leats pretend to love me.
my dreams are crushed by an insulting tone
ur voice reminds me of those looks of stone.
ur moving faster with each step i take
that smile u wear is completely fake.

========================================

(this is kinda like the others but...)

Sadness deprives my soul of oxygen and i can't breathe.
i'm looking for ur arms to fall back upon.
with out them i fail to live.
i drop through the sky like this bullet in my head and still no remorse (from u) for words said.
i only realized what i ahd lost until i lost it completely.
someone stole u from my grasp, long after i let go.
u sit there wondering why u lost my security and i wonder it too.
i wish i knew how this all began
bring me back to the start
ask me to stay
lie to me, tell me u love me
tell me i'm special
tell me we ahve another day
darkness overcomes the sky with a field of gray
it's so hard to see the stars
if i could just reach one, maybe even fly away.
i'd fly so far just to find otu i like it better the other way.
i step out onto the ledge and reach my arms up to the sky and watch all our perfect moments run by.
i've solved my problem, my head is cleared of ur face,
although my soul has been replaced.

=================================

Life just sucks sometimes
friendships turn into lies
how long must she endure this pain?
it wont fade away, no matter how hard she tries.
every day is a new struggle to fight for.
she tries to raise above it but has never found a cure.
ignoring the misery is hard to do and somedays she wishes her life was through
she'll lay down some nights and cry herself to sleep
her dreams interupted by worries kept so deep.
there's nothing she'd want more than to crawl in a corner and die
anything would suit her, any kind of lie.
dim sunlight surpasses the curtains of her room, symbolizing daybreak, the start of something new.
she knows what will come of it, the incessive daily routine,
and what does she have to show for it?
this bloody mess of a scene
her pain is over now
the tears have dissolved
all those heinous people have forgotten her
they problem is finally solved

Current mood: depressed
Current music: puddle of mudd- she hates me
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