Ragged-On-The-Edges Girl's journal

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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
4:58 pm - Odd mood is descending again...
I think I'm bored or something, guess that's what it boils down to anyway. I'm a little frustrated too I think. Not even at anything in particular though, just in general. Maybe it's hormonal. Who knows? I'm restless and fidgety, irritable and bordering on suspicious too. Nice combination, huh? *L* Ugh.

current mood: irritated

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Saturday, July 10th, 2004
9:25 pm - And another...
Night
NIGHT MAGICK - Night Magick is a complete
curriculum of magical development based on the
Yin primal force, as opposed to the major
religions of the world, which are predominantly
Yang. You emphasize the use and balanced
developement of the Physical/Etheric Body, the
Astral/Emotional Body, the Mental Body, and the
Causal Body. Through regular and consistent
practice, you, the Night Magician will develop
psychic abilities, increased vitality, stronger
focus, and union with your Oversoul.


What is Your Magick Path?
brought to you by Quizilla

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8:58 pm - Another...
cactus
What Is Your Funny Sexual Artifact?

brought to you by Quizilla

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8:25 pm - Another quiz...
dra
You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."


Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.
His sign is the crescent moon.

As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: content
current music: Delerium ~ After All

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Friday, July 9th, 2004
10:42 pm - Imagination's a wonderful thing...
Just posted another story to the eroticstories community journal. Think I'll also post it here though because I tend to lose track of it on the community page. Also trying to learn how to do those link things and the cut posts too. *L* So, we shall all see whether I manage to successfully execute these commands or not. Without further ado, here's the story...

She removed her gown and panties, then stretched out on the bed. The sheets were cool against her overheated flesh. She was missing her lover badly tonight, wanting him very badly as well. She ached to feel his body against hers, skin sliding against skin. She lay very still, imagining being with him, finally being able to touch and taste and tease. The anticipation grew into arousal, and as she moved beneath the sheet, she felt the tingles begin in her stiff nipples each time the smooth cotton slid over them.

Still curious? )

Love to hear what anybody reading this thinks :)

current mood: horny
current music: Dexter Freebish ~ My Madonna

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7:47 am - Ooo, DT quiz...
Alain the Seer
You are Alain! Quiet and introverted, you prefer
thinking to talking. Even though you aren't
that social, you have a kind heart, and will
help those in need. You often see things from a
unique perspective, but people seem to ignore
your feelings. Learn to speak up, and show that
you take pride in what you do!


The Dark Tower Character Test
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: awake
current music: Joe ~ Treat Her Like A Lady

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Thursday, July 8th, 2004
9:03 am - I think I'm a quiz addict...




Your Erogenous Zone Is Your Nipples


Think of them as love buttons - or maybe even orgasm buttons

You like your nipples rubbed, touched, sucked, kissed...

And maybe even pinched a little if the mood's right

Thank God you've got two of 'em!



What's Your Secret Erogenous Zone?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


current music: Stevie Nicks ~ Fall From Grace

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8:46 am - Rambling, vining thoughts...
An image sealed within a frame, one part saved for eternity, the rest of the whole disregarded for the sake of a snapshot. Music falling on ears seeking to hear each nuance of sound, mind seeking to feel the mood, body swaying in rhythm, hips the locus of movement. Soul feeling ancient yet reborn. Feeling old-womanly, skin like rice paper, soft and scented with some archaic perfume, fragile in appearance, needing protection and care, with a core of stolidness, new spring-green shooting inside. Eyes heavy-lidded, weighted down with sensuality. Twinkle winking out from beneath darkened lashes. A new Cleopatra staring out from kohl-rimmed eyes, sultry seductress, power-wielding wanton, power-hungry harlot. Dreaming of endless days, toes threading through hot sand, leaving a trail of footsteps that beg to be followed until they stagger into the encroaching waves. Hungry water swallowing the tracks, leaving no morsel for the lost ones, like the birds who devoured Gretel's bread-crumb path. Arms and thoughts stretching to envelop all sensation, wanting the thrill of newness, aching for the consuming nostalgia. Breeze rushing over bare skin, damp hair lifting and twining in on itself, almost a living thing itself. Memories tickle and knock, wanting remembrance. Still the hips sway, swirling in time to the music, dream-dance on a white sand beach which borders on a dark forest, remembering old desires, seeking out new wants, seeing the pattern beneath the glamour. Pushing the glitter and sparkle aside, leaving just a woman in a snapshot, who might feel or see or believe all those things... or might not.

current music: Jim Croce ~ Time In A Bottle

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6:17 am - Madness...
"what's it like to go insane?" i wonder
perhaps i'm learning
random thoughts play tag
sometimes bumping into one another
with a crash that halts all thinking
other times playing ring-around-the-rosies
circling and chasing
"pocketful of posies, we all fall down"
death, you know, plague
of incoherent thoughts
which swell and sometimes burst
leaving me quiet and not quite alone
ideas which seem to be entities themselves
not merely part of my psyche
emotions which overwhelm
each rushing to overtake the next
it's all a muddle
they all swirl and mix together
nothing stands independently
no segregation between unreasonable thought
and ungovernable emotion
so i sit, outwardly still, and listen
to the din in my head
trying to pinpoint what is true and real
absently wiping the tears from my cheeks

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5:52 am - More quizzes...




Your Sexual Personality: Sensualist


For you to enjoy sex, it's got to feel, smell, look, sound, and taste right

You're all about ultimate sensual experiences - from bubble baths together to feeding each other

You're up for some kinky stuff, but only if it feels right to you.

You tend be a hedonist in the bedroom, taking all night to savor each sexual moment.



Your sexual power position is missionary. You like to feel every inch of your partner's body.

Sometimes, you'll flip over for rear entry, but you'll still be laying on top of one another.



You are most compatible with other sensualists and princes / princesses.

You need a lover who enjoys being spoiled in bed as much as you do.



Get with a tiger / tigress and you'll feel like the sex is too cheap and fast.

Get with an adventurer / adventuress, and you won't be happy with the icky things they want to do.



Kink things up by playing with anything by Kama Sutra.

They specialize in products that enhance every pleasurable sensation.



What's Your Sexual Personality?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
8:38 pm - I know, I know...
The Astro-Passion Quiz: Your Sexual Personality
http://quiz.ivillage.com/astrology/tests/sexquiz.htm

Flirty Air Sign Lover
Your sexuality comes through in the way you communicate, through your gestures and your inventive ideas -- just like an Air Sign. To you, sex is simply another way to connect and share energy with your fellow humans. While you're exceptionally expressive, you may downplay your own emotions in romantic relationships, keeping an aloof distance as a defense against getting hurt. That's not to say that you're no fun between the sheets. Quite to the contrary, you're a playful, flirtatious lover, stimulated by the interplay of two personalities and by some degree of lighthearted debate. A little dirty talk and some intellectual fireworks will keep you aroused! Entice and tempt like a mischievous Gemini and turn on the magnetic charm of a Libra. And like gregarious Aquarius, spice things up with experimental new techniques!

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8:25 pm - Ah my goodness *L*
The Virgin Purity Test http://213.131.236.10/testedich/redirect.php3?siteid=15301

You got 17 points from 20 questions. You are 15 % pure!

You have a completely different side to you! You are a virgin, and are probably the one everyone thinks is "cute" and "sweet" and totally "innocent"--looks can be deceiving! You own your virginity, but you know purity doesn't come along with that. You are wild and sexual, but people probably don't know. (LOL)

The Superstitious Test http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/fx/superstitious.html

How superstitious are you?
Your score = 40

What does your score mean?
You're not 100% superstitious, but there are certain things that you'd rather avoid…just in case! Perhaps you have a certain good luck charm, or pass on chain letters, partially for the fun, partially to protect yourself. Overall, you likely realize deep down that superstitions are mostly not true, but the ones you follow have become old habit. It makes you uncomfortable to break them, so it's simply easier to keep - especially since many of them are tightly woven into our cultural fabric. Almost everyone has the little moment of hesitation when they realize it's Friday the 13th, for example, or says "bless you" when someone sneezes. As long as your superstitions are not controlling your life in any way, there's probably no harm in them.

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8:01 pm - ...yeah...
Your Favorite Color & Your Sexuality
http://www.gagirl.com/quiz/2colours.html

Based on the intro to this quiz, I chose the color which I see most predominantly in my possessions and surroundings. It's not an actual true brown really, but most often a sand or taupe or beige color instead, still of the brown family though.

If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate. Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say "I love you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh word could end the affair.

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7:44 pm - And another...
I sure don't like Skittles *L*

ski
You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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7:36 pm - Another one...
This one just amused me with the answer choices *L* Not sure it truly fits me or not, but taking it was fun.

bitch
your bitch.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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7:30 pm - A few quizzes...
Life as an ISFJ
(Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, Judger)

People of this type tend to be: cautious, gentle, and thoughtful; hesitant until they know people well then affectionate and caring; very literal and aware of the physical world; uncompromising about personal standards and easily offended; diligent and conscientious, organized and decisive.

Quiz found at: http://www.personalitytype.com/quiz.html

Seems mostly accurate, although not very true as far as "easily offended" or "decisive" really.

And results from another personality quiz which I found by following a link in a friend's journal. Quiz found at: http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better+Personality&page=1

Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 34/100

You are an SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.

Please don't get even with this web site.

The "massive mean streak" makes me laugh oh so much *L*

current mood: amused
current music: Rammstein ~ Ich Will

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Friday, July 2nd, 2004
8:15 pm - Just a ramble...
Well, I seem to be feeling like writing something again. So far I haven't accomplished much but a few stories, well actually just one that I've finished but an additional four which have been started. I've written some poetry. I'm not very pleased with any of it though. I never am with my poems; I never feel like they're very good or really say the same old stuff in a new way or anything. They're mostly just rambles too. I'd like to write something a bit more substantial than bad poetry and smutty stories. I've never really had any luck with that though. I either can't come up with a plot or I lock-up on the actual writing when I try.

I'm so sleepy right now. I've been up since 2:50 this morning so that I could get to work early and then off early too. I'm smoking far too much too, been having leg cramps off and on for a week or so. That's really not a good thing considering the bc pills + smoking. I've cut back some, but I need to go on and quit. It's a nasty habit anyway besides being expensive. I need to actually start keeping track of how much I smoke each day, and then start cutting myself back until I'm down to none per day.

Mental image at the moment: dark lady reclining on a chaise in a formless dress which still manages to hug her curves, emphasizing her seductive shape, the skirt drawn up to expose her legs and dainty bare feet, the neckline plunging deeply to show off her full breasts, one hand holding a smoldering cigarette raised to lips painted a deep red, fingernails painted a matching shade catching and reflecting small prisms of light, curls of grey smoke swirling in the dim light, making a halo around her black hair and obscuring her features and expression behind a smokescreen.

Now that image I like. If I could paint, I would attempt to capture that on canvas. Gives me a sense of those old film noir flicks, calls Lauren Bacall to my mind but I don't think she's dark enough to fit that image, or has enough bite to fit might explain better.

current mood: sleepy
current music: Daughter Darling ~ Shattered

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5:35 pm - And another...

Melancholy: You're not afraid of showing emotion so you wear your heart on your sleeve. You are classy but you play on your sexiness too. You are intellectual but sometimes you over analyse things.



Which www.davidgoughart.com Fairy Are You?



Well, the "over analyse things" certainly fits me.

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5:15 pm - Always with the quizzes, I know...


You are a siren.

What legend are you? Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox


current mood: awake
current music: Kosheen ~ Catch

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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
9:46 pm - Maybe I'm crazy...
Well, we did split, rather badly I might add. Then we both spent a week of misery missing one another. I spent a week crying. We talked again last Saturday night after what was probably one of the worst days in my life ever. So, now we're talking again. I don't know, maybe it's not a good idea. Even though he has the ability to drive me up a wall, I still love him, and for whatever reason, I'm no more able to truly let go of him than he is capable of letting go of me. We're talking now though, and I mean truly talking. We're discussing the problems between us, attempting to find solutions for them. Maybe that week of being separated will really help things in the long run. Things feel different now, better in ways and closer too. As twisted as it may sound, I think last week made him feel more secure in how I feel about him. I was miserable without him, realized how much I love and care about him as well as how important he is to me and how big a part of my life he is. He's never been "just" my boyfriend. He's my friend, too. So, we go forward now. Neither of us is willing or able to give us up as a lost cause, at least not yet. We both want it to work, and I think we both realize now that we're going to have to work harder to make it work, in particular, work harder at communicating better and more effectively. But, we'll see how it progresses as time goes along I guess.

On a side note, I think I'll post a new story to the eroticstories community after I post this one to my personal journal. I've noticed that I really don't have a particular style or a consistent style to anything I've written. Sometimes I go with first person point of view, other times it's third person. Sometimes I stick to present tense, other times it's past tense. Just no consistency at all really. Oh well, maybe that doesn't really matter too much.

current mood: sleepy
current music: Stone Temple Pilots ~ Creep

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