| i wish i had a life... |
[11 Jun 2006|12:20am] |
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jeez...i must be the lamest 17 year old on the planet...mearly weeks away from being 18 and my mom still treats me like i'm 10...*sigh*...i feel so fucking pathetic...i was hanging out with Chad and Robbie...at like 10, yet had to be home by 12...and now here i sit...17 years old...saturday night at 12...bored out of my fucking mind...lately i've had shit to do...i've been reduced to looking at blurty and myspace a million fucking times attempting to squeez some sort of satisfaction off that...it doesn't give me much though...i'll tell you that...*sigh*...i keep saying that i can't wait to be 18...yet i know shit still ain't gonna change much...and not too long after i turn 18 i ship out...i ain't complaining much about that part...cuz at least when i leave i'll have a little more control over my life...shit...i really just wanna die right now...this sucks...i have no life...and i just basically want to die...where did i go so wrong in life as to have shit to do right now?...i want to be out right now...i'm going crazy...maybe i really will suffocate tonight...actually...not just metaphorically...and then i'll die...for reals...not the way i am on the inside...not to where you just feel it...but to where you actually are...where your blood stops flowing...your heart really stops beating...you don't breathe...and you turn all cold...yet you don't shiver...yeah...that would be fun...*sigh*...a lot funner than just sitting here...bitching about nothing...and dreading waking up tomorrow...cuz i have to call a certain someone and say those 2 little words that it's gonna be like hell trying to force out...jeez i fucking hate life...
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