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stonyblue

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Site blocked [22 Jun 2008|02:13am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Winner. Banned ang Livejournal.com sa UAE. potanginang yan. leche. not that i update my blog there as much as i used to, pero naman pano ko makakabasa ng entries ng friends ko? boooooo Dubai. kala ko pa naman friends na tayo. but you just keep on giving me reasons not to totally love you. *sigh*

ayoko pumasok bukas. di talaga ko masaya sa trabaho ko. dibale sanayan lang to. pag natanggap ko first paycheck ko malamang liligaya na ko.

another update. i'm single again. it's ok. i think for now this is what i need. have to love myself first. have to work on myself first. next time around i'll make sure i'll get it right. (pero medyo matagal pa yun. i'm not really interested right now.)

so there. hello folks. looks like i'm back.

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[01 Feb 2007|07:09pm]
hello :-)
2 comments|post comment

truly??! [15 Dec 2005|10:35pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Epitaph--Badly Drawn Boy ]

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest:

You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.

At Your Lowest:

You feel in a slump and lack creativity.

In Love:

You tend to be many people's ideal partner.

How You're Attractive:

You make people feel confident and accepted.

Your Eternal Question:

"What Impression Am I Giving?"

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To whom it may concern [19 Sep 2005|08:55pm]
Whatever I write on this blog CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be used against me.


Blog=journal=personal diary.


Thank you very much.
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[22 Aug 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

this is fun! try it! this is what came out of my sentence. ;p

http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/



Original English Text:
She's a self-centered, boy crazy, pretentious, ugly, fucking bitch. I hate her.
Translated to French:
Elle est un art de l'auto-portrait-centered, garçon fou, chienne prétentieuse,
laide, foutue. Je la déteste.
Translated back to English:
It is an art of the car-portrait-centered, insane boy, bitch
pretentious, ugly, foutue. I hate it.
Translated to German:
Es ist eine kunst des Auto-Portrait-zentrierten, geisteskranken
Jungen, meckert pretentious, häßlich, foutue. Ich hasse es.
Translated back to English:
It is meckert pretentious, ugly an art of the auto Portrait centered,
spirit-ill boy, foutue. I hate it.
Translated to Italian:
È meckert pretentious, ugly un'arte del Ritratto automatico
concentrato, ragazzo spirito-malato, foutue. Lo odio.
Translated back to English:
It is meckert pretentious, ugly an art of Ritratto concentrated
automatic rifle, spirit-sick boy, foutue. Hatred.
Translated to Portuguese:
É meckert pretentious, feio uma arte do rifle automático concentrado
Ritratto, menino espírito-doente, foutue. Hatred.
Translated back to English:
Meckert is pretentious, ugly an art of the automatic rifle
concentrated Ritratto, boy spirit-sick person, foutue. Hatred.
Translated to Spanish:
Meckert es pretentious, feo un arte del rifle automático Ritratto
concentrado, persona alcohol-enferma del muchacho, foutue. Odio.
Translated back to English:
Meckert is pretentious, ugly an art of rifle automatic concentrated
Ritratto, alcohol-ill person of the boy, foutue. Hatred.

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[16 Jul 2005|09:29pm]
[ mood | happy happy happy!!! ]

This is a late post. I don't have the pictures to prove it yet, but

I MET NEIL GAIMAN!!!!

Well, not in the way that I wanted to. I lined up for 3 hours to have my book signed, only to reply with a sheepish "Hi," to his rather cheerful "Hallo." After that, my mind went blank. I couldn't think of anything to ask or to say. I only had enough courage to whisper, "Can we have another photo taken?" I didn't get a kiss or a hug, but dammit, i sure am happy with my 3 signed Sandman graphic novels, of which one said, "Alexa, Dream safely. Neil Gaiman."

I LOVE NEIL GAIMAN!!!!

Pictures to follow later. Soon as I transfer the pics from my camera.

2 comments|post comment

16 hours and counting... [08 Jul 2005|11:11pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Right this very moment--as I write this blog entry while finishing 2nd edition with the Page 1 staff--Neil Gaiman is in his hotel resting (or maybe blogging) a few kilometers away from the office. In approximately 16 hours, I will be lining up with hundreds of fans to have our thousand-peso illustrated novels signed by him.



Bloody hell. Those expensive books only to be written on by him.



Bloody wonderful!

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[06 Jun 2005|03:47pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | There's no other way--Blur ]

The saddest way to start the day is to have a friend not speak to you because of something bad you’ve supposedly done. No matter how you make this person understand though, it’s no use because in their mind you let them down and whatever reason you have, no matter how important it is that led you not to do the thing you’re supposed to have done doesn’t matter. Because you screwed up. Period.

***

On other issues, I’ve never felt so disappointed and sad over learning something that a good friend told me last night. He tested my reaction and he got it out of me in an unexpected manner. I would have loved to punch him. But disgust is the last thing I want to feel for him. I only hope he knows what he’s doing.

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post post [04 Jun 2005|10:21pm]
[ music | Waiting for the moon to rise--Belle and Sebastian ]

Some broken friendships are not worth saving.

Some officemates are not fun to work with.

Some days are just so bad you want it to end soon.


*This should have been posted a week ago, May 28, when the world conspired against me.

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[05 May 2005|01:42am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Empty-handed--Cynthia Alexander ]

It was more than an infatuation. I know I felt something real. I even believe it could have been love. (I'm not posting this to promote that Fil-Korean girl's blah movie.) I know I will always go back to our brief affair and remember the way he looked at and held me. But what I do believe is that my admiration for him has never faltered. In less than 12 hours, his first full length movie is going to be shown. People are going to actually pay to watch his film. And though I have work, I will risk getting a memo just so I could be one of the first ones to see it. I have waited for this day to come. To be able to watch his work without conditions and compromises. Now the moment has arrived. This is only the beginning for him.

He is and always will be my filmmaker. And though I may not turn out to be the brilliant writer that I think I am, I know he will get to where he's always dreamed of going. He'll make it. He got this far, he'll never give up.

As for me, I know I would always smile at the thought that once in my life, even for fleeting, stolen moments, he was mine.

Shukran, Renato. May you go as far as your dreams take you. I'm still looking forward to a chance of a collaborative work with you.

No ploys, no conditions, no ulterior motives.

3 comments|post comment

Surreal [07 Apr 2005|12:27am]
[ music | Fields of gold--Sting ]

It still seems so surreal to me. I haven't seen the specials on TV. All I've seen were pictures. We've had issues [newspaper] about it, but everything still seems to be unreal. The Pope's death is something I just read about because it's my job to do so. Though I work for a newspaper, and the front page at that, I admit I'm the most clueless--and useless--person you'll ever care to ask current events about. That's how detached I am about everything around me. It's like I exist on this plane where the only real element is me, and everything else is just a holographic image. I haven't cried over his death. Like I said it hasn't sunk in yet. Seeing his body lying like that in the papers, it's hard to believe he's gone because it seems he's just merely taking a nap. Only he's dressed like he's about to say Mass. Well, no man has ever made me feel at peace just by looking at him from a photograph, or watching him in the news, or seeing him in the Pope mobile when he went here 10 years ago. One of the most cliche questions someone can ever ask you in an interview or a simple conversation is, "If you can have a chance to talk to a great living or dead person, who would it be, what would you say to that person and why?" Well, I have never answered that question, and I have never thought about what my answer would be. I'd have loved to meet the Pope, but I'd never have known what to say to him. I would've loved to hug him, though, or go down on my knees in happiness, and kiss his blessed hands. No living person can ever move so many people the way he did.

May his soul rest in peace. Viva il Papa!

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[04 Apr 2005|10:22pm]
[ mood | artistic ]
[ music | Mantra--Cynthia Alexander ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com



You have to hold her gaze when she looks at you, to feel her music. You have to drink her words as you would your wine, in order to understand. You have to let yourself be carried away by her song, in order to feel it. And then you’ll start to wonder how it is to live in her world.

At least, that’s how it is with me. Buy her third album, Comet’s Tail, at Conspiracy. It’s worth your 400 bucks.
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Out of town, out of sorts [27 Mar 2005|09:24pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I finally finally made it back to La Union. Though half-hearted at first, the only regret I had about going there is that we couldn't sleep at my grandfather's house because termites had eaten most of the rooms away. Of the 6 rooms, only two were available for occupancy, and my uncle's daughters and grandchildren went home, too. My uncle and his family have been living there so there was no choice but for us to stay in another place. We went to an uncle's house about 2 streets away and only dreaded night time because the room we stayed in was so small, and the electric fan made such a racket we felt we were sleeping inside a helicopter. Half-sleeping, that is. I was barely able to sleep 4 straight hours.

Anyway, Saturday night saw me and the family having dinner at footprintinblue's other house. The next day we were treated to lunch in yet another house. Sarap talaga ng feeling pag welcome na welcome ka. That evening we went to Naguilian where my step lola lives. She moved there after lolo died. There were too many issues with my uncle's wife so lola decided it's better to live alone than to face continuous conflict with the aunt. Poor old lady. My mom used to not like her.

The next day we went to Baguio where I had my first ukay experience. I didn't buy much. The prices were high, and the skirts non-negotiable so I only got a few pieces. Peak season kasi kaya ganun.

We got back to Manila around 2 am today. A bit sick because of lack of rest/sleep I'm uneasy but excited for my real 20-day vacation with my sister. It doesn't really matter where I go for as long as I can rest. Staying at home with my DVDs would actually be fine. Pero syempre, it can't hurt to know that where I'm going I'll be able to shop for free because my sister already promised me that aside from my ticket, she would also shoulder my shopping expenses. Yay! How I love her.

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[17 Mar 2005|02:11am]
You say you find no need to read this anymore because I already tell you everything anyway. Well, I wanted to really drop this for good because I'm leaving real soon, and I'd like to believe you're done and over with it when I discussed it with you, but pray do tell me--who the fuck is Lauren?

I thought we talked about this already? I haven't even gotten back on my feet from the last discussion, and now another blow. By the time you read this, I hope we've already settled things once and for all.
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A night with Norah Jones [13 Mar 2005|10:01pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Creepin In--Norah Jones ]

The best seat in the house was given to a rather lucky little mosquito. One who was able to buzz around Norah Jones’ face, and even got a quick kiss on her shoulder as she sang “The Nearness of You” for the throng that attended her concert in Araneta Coliseum last night.

Opening with a sultry “Turn me On,” Norah wowed fans with songs from her first and second album, and some covers from her favorite bands.

One guy from the upper box shouted a request for her to sing “Turn me on,” and Norah laughingly replied, “Turn me on? We already played that song! I already turned you on!” This drew laughter from the crowd. The guy groaned as if in anguish, “Turn me oooon!!!” to which Norah replied, “Don’t kill yourself, man.”

Anyway, back to our little mosquito, with it buzzing around her face, Norah laughed and said as she started singing, “This is for the mosquito.” No, she didn’t say it in a disgusted manner so I don’t think she will be banned from coming back to the country. When she stood up for another song she laughingly said, “Look, he followed me.” Up to now I still think that the way she swayed wasn’t really so much for swaying but rather to keep the mosquito from biting her. Unfortunately, I noticed her put her left hand to her right shoulder, so I guess the mosquito did take a little bite.

Norah brought her band along which she lovingly calls. The Handsome Band. The show wasn’t just of “Norah Jones” but rather of the band as well, as Norah sang songs which gave the members a chance to show off their expertise in their respective instruments.

She also shared that Daru Oda, the Chinese-looking girl who plays the flute, and sings back up for her has been her friend since they were 14 years old. “I think that’s pretty cool,” Norah shared with the audience.

After she sang the popular “Don’t Know Why,” she told the crowd about her stint at Sesame Street with Elmo.

“I had a date, though, with the Letter Y, but he stood me up,” said Norah. “No show.”

Somebody from the audience shouted ,”Why?” and Norah must have been waiting for this cue coz she said, “Did you say why?” and plunged on to the answer, “He was hanging out with his X,” to which the crowd dissolved in laughter.

“That’s a bad joke, but you wanted to know why,” Norah seemed to shrug.

“That’s ok coz I hung out with Elmo,” she continued. “We had beer.”

To this Elmo revelation the crowd cheered. And that’s when I realized that Elmo might be a bad influence to the kids. ;p

“Anyway, this next song is totally unrelated to Sesame street,” she continued and proceeded with the country song “Creepin In.” Boring crowd the people in the middle were. This song should’ve made most people stand up and do a little square dance (or something close to such as there wasn't really a big space to do a square dance in) with their partners as Norah and Daru danced a little on the stage while clapping. The most people could do was clap along without even following the beat. *Sigh*

“I can’t believe we’re here in the Philippines,” Norah told the crowd. She was apologetic about staying for a short time.

“Bad timing, I know,” she said. She told her fans that they hope to come back and spend time with the Filipinos a little longer.

After exiting, the crowd of course asked for an encore to which Ms Jones and The Handsome Band obliged to with 3 more songs and finally bid their last goodnight.

How I got to have my CD signed is another story. But there was a lot of kakapalan ng mukha involved which I am very proud of. I must've been one of the few people who got my CD signed.

I just love her concert. I can hug Sir Joey right now. Unfortunately I am not the hugging type. But I'll be grateful to him for as long as Norah Jones' songs stay alive in my mind and heart.

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[06 Mar 2005|04:47pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Friday night:

Me: ‘Kyat na ko.
Dylan: Ya, you look nice today.

He thought I was asking if I looked cute that night.

Me: Grabe, ung ganung kalaking styro, naubos ko!
Brother Bear: Ow? Anong ginawa mo sa laman?

Said with matching puzzled look.


The men in my life makes me laugh most of the time. In the past I’ve always found myself warming up more to guy friends than the girls. It’s coz they’re not moody and self-centered as most girls—myself included—are. With them, you can totally be you. Heck, you can actually pick your nose in front of each other and laugh about it. No, I don’t do that—and I haven’t tried. The thing is, guys have this quality of caring, but not too much to the point of exaggeration. They don’t get offended easily, and they don’t put meaning to things that didn’t have meaning in the first place. It’s like having a great friendship that’s low maintenance. With them you can just be you, even without the frills. You get to have a bodyguard on the side, too. I dunno. Just thinking random thoughts.
***
I’m really thinking of resting from the relationship for awhile. Since the first major argument, things have been swinging from ok to not ok. I feel like I’ve been nothing but a pain.
***
I’m going out of the country soon. I hope the supervisor allows me to go on April. Am gonna buy me those percussion thingies that my sister told me about. Then I can start my own band. Haha.

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parang commercial [01 Mar 2005|11:21pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | A beginning of something wonderful--kalamansi band ]

new friends, old friends, one night, lotsa bands.

spent saturday night at saguijo with non-pdi friends. separate friends actually. it was a miracle the night pulled through without anyone feeling out of place--myself included. new-found betweenlifendeath friend came because according to dylan, i threatened her to come. new acquaintance i like to call papa gentle giant jon (PGGJ for short) also came with dylan to check the place out. highschool semi ex-future, former leading man made some time for me but tagged his pseudo gf along. 3 couples, 5 performers, one good night. except for wrong signals i sent to junji, everything went fine.

days after, i get sore fingertips from chatting with new-found friend i keep berating about falling for the wrong band/bandmember. well, i can't teach her heart to sing, but maybe, just maybe, i can teach her how to choose the song.

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[20 Feb 2005|03:06pm]
I never made the effort to get close, and our relationship was strictly work-related,
but I loved him.

I would always be grateful for the bylines, and the presscons, and the tickets, and the deadlines. I will keep in mind that his name would be first in my magnum opus.

Sir Louie, I will be forever grateful for the many times you chose me to write for you. May your soul rest in God's embrace peacefully, painlessly.




Post script: Please pray for the soul of Louie C. Camino. Beloved editor, mentor, friend.
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Not for the anti-Vday folks [15 Feb 2005|10:54pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Saksi in the background ]

Allow me to share my first Valentine's with my boyfriend. *yebah*

Well, it is technically our first Valentine's as a real couple.

Anyway, I told myself that I would not prepare anything for him, because last year I prepared candlelit dinner at a previous apartment and drove my flatmates away. Well, I didn't want to plan another one because I figured it's his turn to make this day special for me. He's the guy anyway.

A couple of days before Vday, he told me we'd have lunch on the said day. So I woke up real early even if I was still groggy from lack of sleep so when he comes to the flat, I'd be ready. By 11am, there was still no word from him. I was already fuming. Two hours after I headed out the flat with two sandwiches for lunch. He texted around 3 pm to tell me he didn't go to work, and he'd just see me in the evening. By then I was already fuming.

Past 7pm, we got word that a bus exploded underneath the MRT Ayala station. Fury was replaced by worry. I told him not to go anymore. Thirty minutes after he replied that he knew about the blast and that he'd still see me because he was already in the Makati area. In my head I imagined ways to torture him for his foolishness.

9 p.m. and we were still not done at the office. It was going to be a long night with the big news coming here and there. For sure the editors won't let it pass just because it's Vday. He texted that he was already at the flat and he knows I'd go on overtime because of all the breaking news. He hoped I'd be so hungry because he brought along a lot of food.

I went home around 10.30. There he was waiting by the door, with the food and a bottle of bubbler (it wasn't exactly wine, but it tasted nice) on the table. There were no flowers as i had hoped there would be, but considering the effort of coming to see me was enough to melt my heart. Sappy.

We finished around 12 midnight. He was unusually sweet. More like the boyfriend I imagine him to be. He told me he couldn't remember promising that we'd be having lunch. I wanted to strangle him. Well, I did not entirely NOT prepare something. Made him what I called "illustrated poetry." Being the non-writer that he is, he was touched by it. Previous girlfriend wasn't as creative as I am. haha.

Anyway, it wasn't dinner by the sea, with the stars and the moon serving as chandeliers. It wasn't dinner in an expensive hotel with soft music we can slow dance to. But it was a sincere effort on the part of a man who wanted to surprise his girl on a day of hearts. It's pretty much a romantic Valentine's to me.

Of course, I am still counting on those flowers. But there'll be plenty of occassions for that. ;p

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[08 Feb 2005|11:39pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Everyone around me is moving. Making a step--rather, taking a leap to get out of this hell of a thankless job into an even more thankless job but one that will make you prouder to say that you work for the country's leading paper.

eavesdrop on this exchange:

girl: san ka nagwo-work?
me: sa [name of publication]
girl: [impressed] ooohh. [after a pause] anong work mo dun?
me: editorial assistant
girl: [awed reaction gone] ah ok.

Yes. Unless you're a reporter, people will not be impressed if you work for a publication. The only people who exist when you think of working for a publication are reporters and editors--or so some people think. I wonder if they'll be half as awed if I told them I'm a corporate planning assistant of the said paper. The title sounds intimidating enough don't it? But no. The real question here is, what's your worth in the company? Will you stay where you started for say, 10 years and allow yourself to sink deeper into the comfort zone you've gotten used to that you've become afraid to try what you really came here for?

Okay. I'm being bitter. I did take a step. I applied for a position. But I don't know if it's even a position I'm qualified for anyway, coz I heard from someone that they're actually looking for a senior reporter. But then, who cares? So, I stood my ground. I applied for it last December. It is now February.

A senior news editor talked to me about it. He said, why don't I just go for the Metro position? What future will I have with the position I applied for? Okay, point taken. But I think he's rude to think that way. Every part of the newspaper is important. It won't be complete without the other, no matter how trivial the topics there are.

Anyway, a friend who applied [for the police beat] said that she had no problems with mobility and with facing people, only with writing fast. Lucky her. I have a problem with mobility and talking to people. I don't have a problem with speed. Maybe we can merge and become twin reporters and share salaries instead. Harhar.

I'm fucked up. More confused than ever. And feeling smaller by the minute.

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