You're everything I never knew I always wanted.'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
You're everything I never knew I always wanted.

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[18 May 2004|07:55am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | eh ]

the year is almost over!

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love is some kind of lottery and my number will never come up [29 Apr 2004|07:34am]
well its first and my heart actaully feels ok and didnt hurt that bad last night i hope everythings ok with it cus im sick of almost fainitng and feeling like im dieing.tomorrow should be fun when all the details are worked out cus me and kelsi are finding boys and thats final!!!it must be done...lol

omg katie this appointment cant happen it jsut cant!!katie i love u i hope this counseling thing falls thrugh more than anything !









I love their love and I am thankful
That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
By all those fairy tales that drugged us
they still do me. I’m sick, lonely
No laurel tree, just green envy
Will my number come up eventually
Like love’s some kind of lottery
Where you scratch and see what’s underneath
It’s sorry
Just one cherry
I’ll play again, get lucky
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hello is there anybody in there [27 Apr 2004|07:35am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | i want to be listening to comfortably numb ]

bla i was supposed to talk to matt last night but for some reason i didnt but i took a wonderful nap o it was really great i skipped dance and instead i just slept but anyways yesturday i talked to lisa about how i have held gruges and stuff like that i dont know wat i think about it just yet im still unsure as whether we will ever be the same again if we ever are its gunna take a long time at least for me.idk y its guna take a long itme but its just gunna ...i have to strt trusting her again but i dot know if i can.i dont know if shes trustworthy anywa i dont want to talk about it anymore.

1 Did Comment

when you say nothign at all [26 Apr 2004|05:22pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | you say it best when you say nothing at all ]

wow so i defianlty wrote so much then it just disappeared

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everytime i try to fly i fall [26 Apr 2004|07:54am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | teachers talking blah! ]

we got progress reports today i have 3 As 1 B 1 C 2 Ds its alot better thena before an di can bring my ds to cs and the c i ahve can definalty be a b. oooo man im tired i really wish my bed was right here i want to sleep for hours and hours and wake up and actually feel refreshed. wow i cant thin kof anythign to write cus im abou to pass out...................

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i swallowed liquer and a lighter and this morning i threw up fire [25 Apr 2004|05:52pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | sudden death in carolina -brand new ]

well today has been pretty boring but friday i went with nicole lisa garret and some other people to q zar it was fun but we were supposed to go to the feild party but it got broken up! o well maybe we will go to the next one. there isnt much to say its jsut been another weekend and another week closer to the end of school the end of 10th grade im so happy i could burst.and i finally got the sound back on my laptop so i can listen to music again man that really pissed me off that it just LEFT ONE DAY no sound it was jsut gone well i figured it out grrr!so i kinda felt wierd in lisas car with her al night ...all the things iv said i dont feel bad for saying them because they are true and now my feelings for her run very shallow its gunna take a long time i know it will...and theres nothing i can do about it thats the way it has to be...

and katie o man i hope she is ok and everything goes according to plan...theres only a month left and maybe her dad wont make the appoinment for the couselor ...i feel horrible and i want to see her and see how she is cus if wat happend gets out its all over...

asleep inside the canons mouth the captain calls her comes the route theyll seek to find me north and south but iv gone to find my ain true love...

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"two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl" [22 Apr 2004|07:34am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | "wish you were here" im my head ]

yesturday was bla i fell asleep and woke up to my dad puonding on the door saying i had visitors....???? so i went outside and lauren amanda megan and andy were there to show me laurens new car and TO SEE MY NEW KITTY!!!EW i have a chem quiz in 3rd period an di hope i do good cus i still want to make honor roll!!! then if me an kel make honor roll we can go to chicago maybe!and kelsi can see nikko and i can see matt...wow the things matt said last night ...dont get me started...y do people like that have to live so far away:( ITS NOIT FAIR! ok i dotn know my plans for the weekend ...i wish i did...

its been fun looking at schools on line lately lol!

i really dont want ot do my work uh ...

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the new kitty!!!! [19 Apr 2004|07:41am]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | nothing ]

omg the little kitty is so cute i dont know if i should keep it cus snowy is so mad at me! but its so fuffy and adorable ....and the whole ten yards was so funny omg im gunna buy that movie i love chandler so much...wat is that thing thats wat weve been making for the past 2 hours ..it makes me sad ahhh CRASH!BLANCH!! ALERT THE OTHERS THERES BEEN A TRAGEDY! lol ....any ways oh and friday i went to some redneck party with kelsi..i cant wait to get home and see the baby kitty i miss it!

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the violent swaying plam trees outside my window [14 Apr 2004|10:33pm]
the wind is here but not as bad as last night and im cold in my room...

"You have slowly sunk into this pathetic pattern of loosing urself in ur abyss you call happiness...well sink far and fast but when u hit the bottom dont expect me to be there. Although throughout my life your words and wisdom have led me threw the hard times i know now that i must guide MYSELF away from you. For seeing u is torture the very sight is like watching something weak die and waste away. Your betrayel has blinded u, your lies have misled you, your heart has hardened, and my words will finally shut you up! Remeber when perfect wasnt in your vocabulary? Ironically its the only word you care about now. Fall for these words because i speak the truth unlike the pure river of deception that pours so freely out of your mouth. I tore the thick bandage off our friendship ...and im ready to watch it bleed. Another day... another night... this is jsut another way to end this fight... "
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i got a c in chemistry [14 Apr 2004|07:28am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | "wasting words on lower cases and capitols" ]

DYER ROUNDED UP!!!!! hahaha my 69.5 is a c on my report card omg i was so happy....anyway its been so windy lately at night i cant even sleep i look out side and the trees are blowing over and its been raining too which is wierd....but i love it... its been nice

i cant stand lisa anymore i really cant

1 Did Comment

this survey i got from KELSI! [13 Apr 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | my angel rocks back and forth ]

-DESCRIBE / TELL—
[three words that sum you up]: crazy nice and SILLY
[jewelry worn daily]: my rings from johns pass
[wallet]: yes its red and white
[coffee]:is good with lots of sugar
[shoes]: flip flops.
[cologne/perfume]: OP juice it smells so yummy
[clothing you have on]: a shirt and some undies

—MIXED QUESTIONS—
[wishing]: school would be over with ...i want summer
[after this]: doing a essay for world history blaaa....
[talking to]: kelsi and trav
[eating]: nothing
[fetishes]: when people smell good i love that!....nice bodies
[some favorite movies]: the breakfast club... TOMMY BOY(are u talking...fat guy in a little coat..so i stroke it and i pet it and i message it!)the virgin suicides...everything with chris farley
[something you're looking forward to]: summer...if its a good one
[last thing you ate]: uhh bread i think
[something you’re afraid of]: not being loved...drowning...my friends who are fucked in the head
[if you could have any animal as a pet]: a horse or maybe a flamingo they are freaking awesome!
[cities you wouldn’t mind moving too]: new york its nice up there ...somewhere in indiana (haha i wonder y)
[some favorite foods]: pressed turkey sandwhiches!...pirolines...CHEESECAKE...french onion soup...steak
[something -or someone- you wish you could understand better]: algebra 2 hon
[miss someone you haven't seen in a long time]: ...YES OF COURSE even though its only been a few weeks

—DO YOU..—
[like candles]: ya the wax is fun to put all over.
[like company]: most of the time but sometimes big groups are bad
[believe in soul mates]: ya i think so well i hope so ...if i find him
[believe in love at first sight]: no cus u have to know a person u cant get that from one look
[believe in forgiveness]: of course its something everyone has to do
[want to get married]: yes and be happily married
[want to have kids]: 2 or 3 never ever 1
[ever want to adopt kids]: no not really thats kinda mean sounding though

—IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU...—
[cried]: no
[bought something]: no
[gotten sick]: no
[sang]: hell ya
[eaten]: YES
[been kissed]: NO...i wish though
[felt stupid]: ya lol
[wanted to tell someone you love them, but you didn't]: no ...no one to tell that to
[talked to an ex]: lol no of course not
[talked to someone you have a crush on]: no deffinatly not
[had a serious talk]: no
[missed someone]: yes yes yes i have missed lots of people
[hugged someone]: yeah
[argued with a parent(s)]: probably i think so
[dreamt about someone you can't be with]: maybe....idk

—SOCIAL LIFE—
[best girl friend(s)]: kelsi,katie,nicole
[best guy friend(s)]: dont really have any lol maybe if brian wasnt so mysteriuos lol
[boyfriend/girlfriend]: no ROAR
[hobbies]: dance i guess
[pager/cell]: ya cell.who has pagers?
[are the you the center of attention or a wallflower]: neither i suppose
[car you drive]: nothing right now but when i get a car it will be a toyota
[would you rather be with friends or on a date]: with friends unless i have wanted to go on this date forever but usually friends
[job]: no
[attend church]: lol ocasionally but i might as well not be there my mother drags me
[like being around people]: most of the time

—PERSONAL—
[who is your role model]: noone really
[pet peeves]: eww when people have bad breath
[ever liked someone you can't be with]: yes of course
[ever wanted to get revenge on someone cause they hurt you]: yes yes yes i have
[cried over the opposite sex]: ...unfortunatly ya
[your favorite physical appearance]: on other people or me?
[are you happy with yourself]: um not really
[what plans do you have for the future]: umm be happy!
[who do you really hate]: ryan
[who's your most trustworthy family member]: snowy she listens to me
[deep secret]: well its a secret so i cant say!
[embarrassing moments]: of course i have them ...geographey 7th grade

1 Did Comment

keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground [13 Apr 2004|07:27am]
[ mood | good ]

there isnt much to say ...my weekend was ok whatever...i couldnt sleep last night again big suprise i jsut layed there bored as hell thinking again about everything y does that always happen ...then i had a wierd dream about gunn highway...strange...anyway i want to go home and sleep since i didnt last night

uh i have a part with 3 other girls in the recital ill probabaly screw it up and fall offstage lol! well at least carol lee gave me a part...

o ya wtf is up with missouri winning miss usa FLORIDA was pretty and had a beautiful dress!

i need somethign else to talk about...this week is cruise week on the travel channel but i cant watch it its to sad hahahaha
wow i gotta let that go but i cant

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wish you were here [09 Apr 2004|11:15pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | fight test ]

last night fun or not so fun i cant decide bad experiance good to know that its over adn im not dead!

beach was fun ...sand sun water ahhh i love it

bla im really forward to climbing into that bed

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

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wish you were here [09 Apr 2004|11:15pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | fight test ]

last night fun or not so fun i cant decide bad experiance good to know that its over adn im not dead!

beach was fun ...sand sun water ahhh i love it

bla im really forward to climbing into that bed

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Comment

wish you were here [09 Apr 2004|11:15pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | fight test ]

last night fun or not so fun i cant decide bad experiance good to know that its over adn im not dead!

beach was fun ...sand sun water ahhh i love it

bla im really forward to climbing into that bed

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Comment

my mom... [07 Apr 2004|07:47am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | MORNING SHOW ROAR ]

i ncat stand that my mom is yelling at me all the way to school i hate it she has no control!!!i helped kristen with her math i feel so smart!!!! thats a first but anyway my mom is pissing me off i should move away live on my own on the beach and become an old hag with 2000 cats! jk! .....matt and me....cornfields!!!!!

1 Did Comment

something vague(kelsi o course this means that i like ur song but only with ur permission) [05 Apr 2004|08:22pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | bright eyes - something vague ]

But now I’m confused.
Is this deepth really you?
Do these dreams have any meaning?
No. No, I think it's more like a ghost
that's been following us both.
Something vague that we're not seeing,
something more like a feeling.


what a great song...for some reason i feel like having a bouqet of white roses in my room idk anyway i think im gunna lay in my bed and listen to bright eyes some more...

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i need pictures up in this piece! [05 Apr 2004|07:34am]
[ mood | enthralled ]
[ music | bla dumbasses talking ]

wow sunday i studyed my ass off for chem math and spanish roar i hate school! lol my voice still sounds like a little boy going through puberty hahaha this weekend is a 4 day weekend i think.. that is gunn abe so much fun i should jsut leave thrusday and not come home till tuesday!!!wow my hands seem really small today ...god im so bored this class is dull as hell...

friday night ..." i feel like something is gone in my life...then maybe you never really found it...what if you already found it and lost it ...then maybe you were never meant to have it in the first place"sam maybe i will write that book lol!

talked to matt last night HE'S GUNNA BE FAMOUS WAHOOO!!!!

1 Did Comment

shooting star [03 Apr 2004|04:53pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | my cat snoring wtf!! ]

friday me katie nicole sam and molly went to the mall i got my pictures form the cruise developed they are all so funny!! i got some really good ones besides the one of brians ass! then we saw the prince and me it was really bad but then we decided tog og to sickles for the hell of it to see that stupid carnival but it was lame so we headed to the track meat taht was stupid to so we went to the baseball tower and had a nice long talk staring out at the feild itwas such a clear night u could see all the stars and molly was gunna take a picture of us all then i looked up and we all saw a shooting star it was so cool i havent seen one in years it was the perfect moment too...then we went to heritage harbor and walked around on the golf course but it got to cold so we left we went to katies woke up today i was supposed ot go to dance but i flet like crap so i didnt ...went to sickles did community service for the taste of citrus park now im home really bored wanting to talk to someone i wish someone could over o well at least im home alone like always on the weekends...

it was a lot of fun i cant wait to see the pictures from last night and this moring...god im still sick i dont y it just wont go away!not looking forward to 3 tests on monday and i still miss eeryone from the cruise its only been a week but its still all i can think about i wanna to see them again. i want to see matt. and i really hate school to bad i have to go all the time and cant miss man that really is staring to piss me off...o well next 2 weeks are only 4 days maybe i can go to pier 60 on the weekends or frencys or whereever jsut not this damn house im so sick of it!wish i could take all my friends and go back on the cruise....i cant beive me and matt were on the ohone for 3 and a half hours till 12:45 on thursday but i liked it he is so easy to talk to to bad it costs so much money :( he should just live down here! im gunna get some pictures up sometime soon

-lol sam not to burst ur bubble but im not gunna be a writer hahaha-

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up your ziggy with a wawa brush [31 Mar 2004|07:33am]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | song in my head ]

im tired i went to bed at 11:30 but it took me a while to fall asleep theres jsut to much to think about! my throst is on fire! life is good but i keep thinkign about the cruise i think its jsut hard knwoing i might never see those people again that is so depressing cus we all got along so well and i miss them i felt like i knew them a lot longer than a week

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