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Life sucks [14 Apr 2003|06:34pm]
[ mood | weird ]

I am so sick of being such a problem to everyone. I feel like nothing I do is enough for anybody. And everything I do is wrong. Everyone expects me to be this inhumanely strong person who makes everyone else feel better but never has any feelings of my own.
I just...don't see the point anymore.
I am so sick of school and all the people in it. I'm sick of teenagers and rebellious stages and math tests and prom dresses and drug stories. I just want high school to be over. And I hate the fact that I am going to be one of those people who looks back on high school and regrets everything. But I don't care anymore. I'm so sick of caring.

start a war

smoldering temptress? [07 Apr 2003|06:12pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Coldplay - warning sign ]

Ok so I think I've changed my mind about prom. Why? Rachel. Rachel was soooo excited about this dress that she found and it was hilarious because Rachel is just...not the type that gets excited about a DRESS. But she was like giddy. Anyway. Her "boyfriend" Mike doesn't want to go to prom and they are kind of in the process of breaking up, again, so she really wants to go but wants to go as a group of friends, which is what we've been planning since the beginning of the year. And I remembered that Holly and I made a pact last year and we said that if neither of us had dates we would still go. So yeah. And now I've found my dress.

It reminds me of the dress that Satine wears in Moulin Rouge, so naturally I am totally obsessed with it. It's $139 ( but I'm HOPING that maybe we can find it (or something like it) somewhere else so I can try it on and stuff. But now I'm excited!! prom is only 2 weeks away, ack!

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coldplay and nicole rock me [04 Apr 2003|04:22pm]
a new layout :) Nicole Kidman and the oh so lovely coldplay song, A Rush of Blood to the Head.

note: this idea is totally taken from porcelainxstar's journal. Hope you don't mind Robbie, you just inspired me!
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[04 Apr 2003|01:15pm]

wow. we are dorks.
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come on in, I've got to tell you what a state I'm in... [04 Apr 2003|11:29am]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Coldplay - a rush of blood to the head ]

So I'm home sick and finally have a chance to update this thing. Life, as usual, has been incredibly boring and I really have nothing to write about, but I'm making an attempt anyway.
This was our first week back at school after spring break and it was unbelievably crappy. My dear friend Holly has apparently become a full fledged druggie and now has a new best friend, Rachel Fletcher, who she picks up every morning BEFORE she comes by to get Tiki and I, and as a result we are always late to first period. She is seriously confusing. Some days she's in a good mood and I still want to be her friend and some days I wish I could just leave her out of my life. She acts completely different when certain people are around, and then turns around and asks if we want to go to Eugene with her to look for prom dresses. Hmm. Yeah...a two hour drive in her crappy car that would probably die and leave us stranded on the side of the highway (and with her driving...*shudder*)? No thanks.
Speaking of prom, I decided that I'm not going to go, because it's a crapload of money for really nothing. It's not like I'm going to have a date, so there's really no point. The Mardi gras dance is tonight. I don't know if I'm going to go to that either. I really don't feel good.
I CANNOT WAIT for High School to be over. I know that when I get older I'm gonna look back and probably regret a lot, but you know what, I am soo ready to NOT be a teenager in the midst of 100's of other teenagers anymore. I hate all the drama and politics of it all. My only fear is that the whole world is going to be like this. God. I don't know if I could handle that.
Other than that, life is not bad. Tiki and I got bunkbeds so now she finally has a bed. That's a little weird because now I'm sharing alllll my space with her. Some days that bothers me and sometimes it doesn't. I'm such an introverted person that sometimes I just want to be alone, and that's getting to be a pretty rare occasion. Holly told me the other day that she feels really left out cause Tiki and I are so close. Ha. I don't think that's the only reason she feels that way. She's been annoying the hell out of me lately so I've probably been distancing myself. Ok, how did I get back on Holly?
*sigh* At least I have my online friends. :) Sometimes I swear they are the only thing that keeps me going.

1| start a war

jumping on the bandwagon [29 Mar 2003|10:08pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | coldplay - the scientist ]

Wellll it looks like everyone else is over here so I figured I'd be a follower and join too. :) I might make this friends only, but I'm not sure yet, so for now, here I am!

10| start a war

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