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21st Century Digital Boy

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suck my blurty [20 Feb 2005|06:11pm]

You heard me. Suck my Blurty.
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Macaulay Caulkin sucks balls. [16 Feb 2005|07:46pm]
So for valentines day, i bought my girlfriend two DVD's. Party Monster and Blue velvet(which I wanted to keep for myself.) We watched party monster together and it was like...

Holy shit. Macaulay Caulkin CANNOT ACT WORTH SHIT.
He can't even play a gay man. I know a hundred people who could've portrayed Michael Alig better than the kid from Home Alone.

He looks the same.
(back when he was so cute you wanted to shoot him in the face)
(now when we have a reason to shoot him in the face.)

And what the fuck kind of name is Macaulay Caulkin anyway? It sounds like the name of a german industrial band.

I really hate this mother fucker for ruining this goddamn movie, cause it could've been alot more. Alot fucking more Party monster could've been so great had it not been that Seth Green and MC can't fucking act. THey just had to be gay. Seth green cannot pass, I'm sorry, and Macaulay Caulkin just blows.

Aside from that, Blue Velvet kicked ass!

What is more awesome than Dennis Hopper kicking the shit out of Isabella Rossellinni? Dennis Hopper dsoing it with a GAS MASK! AND GOING INFUCKING SANE!

That douchebag Kyle McLachlan wanted them to drink heineken, and Frank (A.K.A. DENNIS HOPPER!) said NO BITCH! PABST BLUE RIBBON! and then he preceded to go up and meet his very suave friend and listen to the song candy colored clown.... ok yeah it's a little gay, but DENNIS HOPPER ROCKS.

Pabst Blue ribbon may suck, but Dennis Hopper Rules.

and so does nick nolte.
I kicked Andy Warhol's ass with those photos. Eat me, bitch.

Side note: Bill Cosby is well hung

More to come.
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Emo kids are wasting your time. [09 Feb 2005|06:20pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Ironically, I'm listening to Xiu Xiu. ]

Emo kids. What the fuck. I listen to emo. But emo kids seriously need to shut the fuck up.

"LYKE OMG IM SOI CONFUSSED! IM GONNA GO LISTEN TO MORE TBS! XxXx (insert stupid bitch's name here) xXxX"

Why haven't half of them been shot?
And hwy can't they fucking kill themselves correctly?
Do you wanna know why?

but they cut themselves for vanity. That's the sickest part. Sick and twisted.

I was a member of the emolyrics community cause I used to write shitty lyrics. Read below.

It's just mindblowing how a scene that was supposed to be intellectually superior to it's predecessor (early 80's hardcore; yes, emo didn't start with Chris Carabba. Burn your seventeen magazine!) has fallen into the blender known as the mainstream. I'm not saying emo was pure up until this point, it had changed from post=hardcore to Sunny day/Mineral tpye of stuff, and has broadened so much anything from gangsta rap to brutal metal is respected by emo kids worldwide. The problem is the emo kids that don't get it. Taking back sunday always sucked. I can only name one song I can stand to hear by them. I saw them live and wanted to die, thank god Saves was up next... and even then it was the In Reverie tour, so what the fuck was I psyched about?

lyke omg, look at how this emo expresses himself

(and by the way I know saying someone is an emo is bullshit. Emo kid. If anyone ever called me an emo I would have eaten their souls.)

Just what the fuck? Any form of shitty art is accepted by these people as long as its dark message can reflect on them, no matter how broad it is, and even if they can't relate to it.

Gad damn.

and local scenes. What fucking bull shit. Every town has some shitty bands with some guys in it who want to get laid. Jesus, those girls are 14 and you're in college! Some are very good musically ( actually the scene in this town was always good, The Chandelier Swing and This Island Earth {RIP}, now Toro, art wonderful.)

But jesus. If youre 14 and confused join the club. Don't you fucking start to wear those trucker hats with the Thursday symbol. Don't you start to think Taking Back Sunday is the best band ever. Because they aren't. They take away from the name of emo to all people who actually are into it.

Even Jimmy Eat world sold out. Damn.

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[08 Feb 2005|07:58pm]

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult

Which Wax Trax! Artist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[08 Feb 2005|07:09pm]
i got shot in the face.
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decadence. [05 Feb 2005|09:20pm]
nothing tonight. sitting here. doing nothing. whatsoever. someone fucking save me.
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drunkenness. [04 Feb 2005|04:23pm]
yeah last night i got really drunk.
it was fun until this morning. i think i have uremic poisoning.

i'm feeling better now. if anyone tends to care.
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[03 Feb 2005|05:49pm]
so i decided i was going to kill something. destroy something beautiful. cross it out.

and so i said.
shut the fuck up.
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these sights and sounds are all around me. [02 Feb 2005|11:38pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Mercury Rev - Endlessly. ]

theres a hole somewhere in my old yard i dug one afternoon. for no reason.

i wonder whats fallen into it.

i really have nothing to say, i thought i'd put something creative in here. instead it's just some stupid bullshit.

nothing really changes. it's like a blur.
these past couple months have gone by so fast. and nothings made to last and i didn't mean for that to rhyme. godammit.


and he walked on down the hall.

my room smells like a furnace. its disgusting. all the fumes are coming up here. and i cant burn a fucking candle.
and i hate camel lights. yet i am cursed by them.

thats it.

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A little note on this journal. [02 Feb 2005|08:12pm]
I used to use this as a blog. then i got one at mindsay and used this for lyrics and evnetually quit using it. that would explain the shitty lyrics found below.
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Been a long fucking time. [02 Feb 2005|07:27pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]
[ music | Archers of Loaf- Audiowhore ]

Yeah i decided to go back to this journal. I was using mindsay. But mindsay's for stupid shits.
anyway if you are reading this, thats cool.

Anyway I have discovered that there is far too much bullshit in the world.

and after that

I have nothing to say, i suppose.

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[18 Nov 2004|04:22pm]
scream onto pages
swirl your head into rages
toilet bowl abyss
fingers in the throat
aimed for a target
must have missed
eyes like razors cut me to bits
pull me apart in a nicotine fit
arsenic on your lips
a kamikaze kiss
and such is my death
a new found bliss
i shall never be loveless
as long as my heart beats
to feel the pains that it gives me
an addiction of blasphemy
as young hearts enter
a razorwire maze
blank expressions
across their solemn face
and they all blend to one
the nights playing tricks on my mind
loved my sun when it shines

but today
it's hidden
by a million hopeless faces drawn in clouds
mile high moutains collapse into mounds
dreams for the dying
no love in their heart
turned black as this night sky
that we're pulling apart

and i will never be loveless
as long as my heart beats
feel the glory of the sorrow
in all my misery
you painted yourself beautiful
with a knife hidden in your hands
reached out to me to comfort
made me feel like a fucking man
and i told you that i loved you
as you ran a blade through my spine
once you took away everything i had
all i wants a reclamation of whats mine

i remember seeing your face
across a million hopeless days
you have forgotten all memories
yopu said you loved me
your full of fucking shit
tear you apart and leave your throat slit
you fucking whore
fucking break the floor down to hell
i hope you fall on the sharpest peak
of the highest mountain
in the darkest section of the belly
of the devil you were
cut off your horns just to make sure
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[17 Nov 2004|04:55pm]
she danced
through walls and through hearts
eyes watched and saw
she was just smoke.
dreamt in white,
slept on a couch
in a small apartment in the city
saw her detiny
looking down
the barrel of a gun
her face reflected.
A ghost now,
lived to die.
painted her picture
on the tip of my tongue
and in seconds
she was gone.
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[09 Nov 2004|05:49pm]
joker in the pack
smoke your last cigarette
turn your back
your face is just a mask
you'll peel it off some night
find yourself glowing in lights
the moons the only light on the earth
your initials are painted in the dirt
from footprints leading out
to places you'll never go again

and the more i tell all these jokes
the more im becoming one
what have you done to deserve this
i asked myself one night
deserve everything in this strange perfection
it all works out now but soon it will fall
crushed like dollars in pockets
it's all so tight until you bring it out
now the worlds falling from my hands
theres no room left for me to stand

i've seen all people in towns
watching their dignity dwindle down
frowned faces in rolling cars
and im just a face on the street
someone else they'll never meet
such a small world all divided down into feet
units used to measure the amount it takes
to fill up the world until it breaks
and im just empty space

the more i get to know people
the less i know myself
influenced by anything real
just living to die dying to live
am i ready to see my death

you can wish to look in the future
but you wont like what you see
so generic and so unique
the paradox in me.
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[31 Oct 2004|10:31am]
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[12 Oct 2004|09:15pm]
theres a kid loitering with a smoke in his mouth
hes got nothing of a clue of what the worlds about
but his eyes latch on to anything he sees
bewilderment fills his little glees
and the echos down the alleyway
screaming his name until he heard
and he turned into smoke
dirfted away on the wings of a bird

and on the bench theres a million faces
of people you've never known
no one ever recognized who they were
people of the town where you were born
we are rats on the street just looking for a home
but on alleyway is welcoming
when all the faces that look at you
are those of people you once were
i see myself in mirrors made of brick
i see my body twist and turn sick
and all my dreams are blackened
by the dirt that falls from the sky..

and kiss the ground before it hits
because its the only time its pure
oh i dont wanna live no more
if i cant feel just one thing pure
i dont wanna live no more
if i cant sense anything pure
im not gonna move along
down a path with dropping bombs
whats there to live for when tomorrow's so bleak
whats there to gorw up to be if all your life you've been a geek
and whats the point of loving if it always ends the same
whats life got to hold except for shame
and baby i'd rather see my face
in that brick wall again
then ever see another mirror on a medicine chest
showing me my skin
cause i ain't never been inside of me
i cant find myself in an evaporated sea
thats become the world inside of me

and i dont wanna live no more
if i cant feel just one thing pure
i dont wanna live no more
if i cant feel just one thing pure
i dont want to feel this fake beauty
i dont wanna see everything there is to see
i dont wanna know everything in my history
i just wanna know whats inside of me
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[05 Oct 2004|10:02pm]
fall from earth like day falls to night
like i fell from grace and like losers fall in fights
wiped away two nights skies dry
counted thirty small street eyes
six people in front of me
sweat pours in seas
anxiety behold this love
speerate from any god above
tempty my fate, kill my cause
defeat a purpose, not much of a loss
lose antoehr battle
look up to the stars every night
i can see you thought clouds
paint my body white
moon hangs like its hung on a noose
cut away all thats left to lose
shameless again
when there's nothing left
nowhere to go but up.
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[23 Sep 2004|11:48pm]
you lay on the floor
and looked into
the mirror that was
directly above you
and your face was all lit up
with confusion from your view
you said that whjat you saw up there
could never have been you

but you,
you are so beautiful
and i give my wholeworldj ust to keep you
you've got a way of holding onto me
and these cigarettes smell so sweet
when you hold them behind me

the day was short
as we watched signs light up
it seems the night
has falled down on us
and your face was all illumination then
after your eyes and lip gloss set in
when i said i love you i had a heart attack
and it felt so good knowing i had you back

and there is nothing i have ever liked to see more
then when you walk through my door
and your eyes meet mine like cars collide
i've taken all your leads
i feel for the girl i never knew before
traced your eyes into the sky
and kept your words inside.
they ring so sweetly in my ears...
so wonderful to hear
that you love me the same as i love you
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[23 Sep 2004|12:39am]
fuckedu p, worlds colapsed
skulls all cracked
and my head hurts like hell
im burnt upon a love
she's got me by the neck
i'll do anything to keep her
but i dont think that she wants me
bled dry i wanna cross my arms
and hope for all veins to collapse
i want to bleed for what i did
fucking crash my skull nito the side of a building
i dont care
just so long as i've had her
i can say i've known happiness
and i treated her like shit
and i guess that i deserve this
bullet through my temples
and paint the walls with your name.
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[21 Sep 2004|11:02pm]
my fingers printed themselves
onto your doorknob
painted upon a million others
my footprints left your carpet
as the night wore on
and you fell onto your bed
and lit the ceiling with your eyes
when you blinked
a moment of darkness
came over the room
kiss you until you collapse
dreams come true held in arms
my head upon your chest
your heart beat in my ear
and beauty lept from your veins
and into my eyes
as i looked upon your face.
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