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When you grow up, your heart dies [12 Jul 2008|04:28pm] [ mood | okay ] I don't know how I made it this far. I'm going through my mind, and I'm trying to think how I got here. There wasn't a time in my childhood when I said 'when I grow up I wanna be like that' Sure I wanted to be something, but it changed, a lot. Most of the times I wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer. And here I am, studying psychology. Childhood dreams stay dreams I guess. I'm at a point in my life where I still don't know where I'm going, what I'm supposed to do, what I want to be. I just can't seem to figure out what I want. I wish I had a goal in my life, a certain thought to which I could hold on to, but I haven't. For the moment, I'm living my life the way it comes, sometimes pleasant, sometimes hell, but I don't complain, cause I just don't know any better. Next year I will be in Senegal, Africa for a whole month, I just can't wait untill July. One month to do something for other people, for a whole community, and time to think about myself, and the way I want to live my life. But for the moment, I'll take things the way they come, and it's just fine post comment

[03 Feb 2008|06:30pm] A new year, a new beginning. I finished my exams, finally ! No resolutions, cause I don't see the point in making promises you know you won't keep. If there's anything I'd like to change about me, about my life, about anything, I will do it at my own time and when I'm ready for it. I still miss you, but I know you do too, and seeing you once in a while makes it alright, although I wish the situation was different. But I know I can still count on you, and that makes me happy, that's worth more than anything in the world. Out of sight, but not out of my heart.. Sing me another love song, but this time with a little dedication post comment

[17 Dec 2007|10:59pm] I can't tell you how much I miss you & I can't tell anybody about it, cause they will look at me with that look in their eyes. They won't believe that what you did was for the best, they put all the blame on you. And you know it, and you find it hard.. And it is, but you still have my trust, my confidence, my love. You were always there for me, and I know that will never change, whatever people may say, you were there for me, and that's all that matters. So all I have to say is, that I'm there for you too. Whatever they might think, I won't give up on you like they did. You were a part of my life, and you still are. So I'm just patiently waiting till you come back x tell me that you're allright. post comment

[20 Oct 2007|11:35am] I don't know anything at all Who am I to say you love me I don't know anything at all & who am I to say you need me Color me blue I'm lost in you Don't know why I'm still waiting Many moons have come & gone Don't know why I'm still searching Now you're a song I love to sing Never thought it feels so free Now I know what's meant to be & that's okay with me post comment

[02 Oct 2007|05:23pm] Yesterday I was thinking about when I would see you again. Well, my heart skipped a beat when I saw you today .. One of the happiest times of my life.. I've missed you, and I know that I will not see you as much as it used to, but I'm glad I saw you.. I'm glad that I finally know what's going on, and that you're sorta alright. Just so you know, I'm here for you, and I will always be, no matter what . I guess that it's typical to cling to memories you'll never get back again and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know and there below his frozen face well, you wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date and you can't believe that he's really gone when all that's left is a fucking song post comment

[01 Oct 2007|07:07pm] It's been almost 2 months since I've heard from you & I just wanted to let you know that I miss you I wanna know how you're doing, what's on your mind lately I could send you tons and tons of messages, but I know I won't get any back But I just can't take it, not knowing what's going on is slowly killing me I know it takes time, but every night I hope that I will see you in the morning, and that you tell me that everything is alright.. I miss you post comment

[05 Sep 2007|04:37pm] So I'm leaving to Egypt tonight, relax a little after these exams .. I'm gonna have fun, and I won't think of you, at all .. I just banned you out of my thoughts, cause really, you're not worth my time See you in 8 days! post comment

[21 Aug 2007|06:06pm] Seems that you're not getting what you wanted.. I just never thought that you were like that, I thought you were different, but I was wrong.. So I started ignoring you, cause I was mad, and confused. I know you saw me the other night, and that you saw me ignoring you. It's hard trying to forget you, it's hard ignoring you, but it's the only thing that will keep myself from getting hurt. post comment

Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt [05 Jul 2007|08:19pm] Schoolyear's over.. I did my best, but my best wasn't good enough I'll get a second chance in August, I'm gonna try to make the best of it I really can't affort to fuck this up And I won't, But I'm scared, and this scaredness makes me act so stupid, makes me do all the things I normally wouldn't do so it's hard, I can tell you that I'm just gonna do the best I can & with you, I don't know what I'm gonna do with you the more you try , the more I push you away it's not your fault, but neither is mine I don't know what to do, how to act 'cause I know you're not the one but maybe you're the best I can have and maybe I should feel okay about it about not always wanting the best ; in school, in life, in love maybe I should give it a try and see how things go but how can I give it a chance, if I keep pushing you away? 3 comments|post comment

[16 Jun 2007|06:28pm] There's something to be said about a glass half full, about knowing when to say when. I think it's more of a floating line, a barometer of need. Of desire. It's entirely up to the individual, and it depends what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless & all we want is more.. post comment

[27 May 2007|11:59am] Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today.. post comment

[02 May 2007|10:23pm] This time was our summer It was something no one could take from us Sometimes that night seems so close Like I could hold it You said alright we'll be fine But how could we have known Do you remember Roll down the window and let in night air I always thought we'd be together You said that we'd never gone this way before I must not let you die Your memory survives Hope that tonight things are fine As I lay awake The light cuts the southern sky And that glass stings my lungs These scars they will always remind me of you And how you are always with me Won't you stay and be with me tonight Don't you know i tried to find those pictures with no light I lost them as I lost you Waiting to see and be with you again Wishing the best for you my lost firend To hear you laugh one last time I hope you know I tried to find those pictures Jordo Of us that night in Detroit with The Preshure Point And I now feel the need to fly And I now feel the need to hide inside your loving arms Man i swear I'd give the whole things up for you post comment

[15 Mar 2007|07:26pm] I'm willing to be everything you need everything you want just name it & I will be but if I change you still won't notice me post comment

[05 Mar 2007|06:00pm] Soms lijkt het alsof de wereld stilstaat. Er gebeuren allerlei dingen, maar toch verandert er niets.. En soms, heel soms, lijkt het alsof jij stilstaat, en de wereld als een sneltrein voorbij rijdt.. Er gebeuren dingen waar je geen vat op krijgt. Je ziet alles gebeuren, maar hebt zelf niets in de hand, je hebt niets onder controle. Je wil schreeuwen, maar er komt geen geluid. Je reikt je hand uit, maar er is niemand die ze vastneemt. Er is niemand die zegt dat alles oké is, dat alles goedkomt, dat alles voorbij is voor je het weet. Op zo'n momenten weet je dat je ongelofelijk klein bent, en dat je geen vat hebt op de dingen die rondom je gebeuren. Je kan enkel machteloos toekijken hoe alles verandert, en dat doet pijn .. post comment

[22 Nov 2006|07:23pm] You don’t need eyes to see you need vision post comment

[19 Nov 2006|05:18pm] Three's my lucky number And fortune comes in threes But I wish I knew that number That even little children seem to see Oh, I'm missing everything I knew It's just so hard to be a child Oh, i'm missing all the things i knew Yet whinge i knew nothing at all I whinge i knew nothing at all Soon i'll have the courage To leave my thoughts behind I'll give back all the knowledge And keep the wisdom precious in my mind Oh, i'm missing all the things i knew I miss them yet i want them gone post comment

[25 Oct 2006|09:36pm] Ik lees, wat zelfs ik al had gehoord maar nu pas echt, m'n ziel doorboort is het nu haar naam die zingt, in je hoofd als zij je zinnen streelt ? post comment

[24 Sep 2006|07:42pm] so I carry the flowers the flowers that are dead in my hands they will rise up at the very sight of you they will naturally understand that today is the day that we find out once and for all now you know i must leave here you must let me stand or fall post comment

[19 Sep 2006|09:30pm] This is a hate song just meant for you I thought that I'd write it down while I still could I hope when you hear this you'll want to sue Oh it's a lonely life in my empty bed And it's a quiet life that leaks from my head These are the last rites The line is dead Yes, I'm hearing voices too And I'm more cut up than you post comment

[10 Sep 2006|09:44am] You wanna spread your wings but you're not sure Don't wanna leave your comforts Wanna find a cure We're afraid of who we see in the mirror We wanna let got but it feels too pure Who wants to be alone in this world You look around and all you see is hurt But the light it always finds us If we move with a little trust post comment

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