..Kate..'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] ..Kate.. [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

Greetings! [15 May 2004|08:40am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Usher - Burn ] Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah .. for any of you who HAVEN'T noticed yet, I've been at GJ for months now.. GO THERE. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN BLURTY I swear .. unlimited icons, picture hosting, rich text editior to make your entries more colorful and nicer .. and it's simple too! Gah. BLURTY SUCKS. Go to GJ! you can find me here: http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/x0_d0rk [. ooh la la! .]

...I wish that every star you see is forever in your reach... [06 Dec 2003|09:48am] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | I Wish -- JoDee Messina ] Wee Heee...it's been a while since I updated...so, I decided that now is as good a time as ever. I have such pretty green eyes...like a monsters.... Hahaha...one day. I'll be cool... Thursday we went to see "Les Mis"...ahhhhhhh! BEST PLAY EVER!!! Hhahahaahaha..I laughed, I cried, I BAWLED...hahahahahaha...it was so pathetic. After we went to Quincy Market....weee...sitting up there, bashing on all the people that we hate...fun fun fun...hhaha one day we'll be cool.. Last night was the Harwich Holiday Stroll...SOOOO great!!!!! Hahahaha...I was freezing, and soaked, and Nate kinda creeped me out, but w/e...still sooo fun! Hahahaha... Nothing more to say... Does it show that I'm pissed? [. ooh la la! .]

..You gotta learn to smile through the bull shit... [29 Nov 2003|11:29pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | The Cheetah Girls - Cinderella ] Okay...I have a lot to say right now...and to me, it’s all good. Some people might not like it...but this is my journal, and what I say, I say. First I wanna say that I had one of the best weekends. Part’s of it sucked, that’s right...but other parts were great. I wanna make it clear that I CAN’T hate anyone...not my family, not Greg, not any of my friends, not any of my classmates...I can’t hate them...I just can’t. Sure, I might get mad at them from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I hate them. And people can hate me...that’s fine. If that’s what they think of me, then so be it. That’s it...there’s nothing that I can do about it. Alright...first I’m gonna tell all the great thing’s about my Thanksgiving Vacation. Wednesday – Half day of school, mucho funo. I went to Amanda Coleman’s house afterwords, and my sides killed from laughing so hard. SO many great times...hahaha...unfortunately, saw someone and some place I had kind of hoped to never see...=/ Thursday – THANKSGIVING!! Hahaha...watched the parade with my family—or, actually, my mom and dad—...sooo sad that I couldn’t actually be there though...went out to dinner with them and Brian. Did NOT have to have turkey...was SO glad about that—hate turkey..haha. Friday – hung out at Kories all day...much funo...then went to Georges pizza with her and Dan Ford. Hahahha...sooo much fun..”How many ways can a Soda-Bottle be wrong?” hehehe “Hey look..it’s raining..” “Very good Korie! It’s only been raining for...20 minutes now...” Hahaha...great times you guys, great times! =D Gotta hang again soon! Got a little upset at 10:00...but soon got over that with MikeT’s IM: Mik0369: If you were my homework, I’d be doing you on the table right now. ^--LMFAO...I wouldn’t exactly go THAT far...but it made me laugh, and I was glad for it..MYL mikey! Saturday – hung out with mom all day...surprisingly more fun then it sounds. Haha...got my P2P packet thing and discovered that I will have to LEARN how to do my OWN LAUNDRY! =-O! I have NEVER done my own laundry...AND they said I should bring 4 pairs of pants – ONLY? For 20 days!?!?..hahaha...I am SUCH a girl.. Saturday night – went to Kane’s with Brenna...hahaha...soooooooo much fun...“The cool points are out the window and you got me all twisted in the game” Hahaha...great. Great. Great! Hahahah..great times...“So Brenna, what exactly ARE me and Kane?” “Throwing knives into a tree IS fun!” Hahaha...great times...We’ve GOT to hang out again some time soon...it’s a bit harder this year cause we all go to different schools...but whatever...you two are the greatest!! LYL! Okay...everyone nice and happy? I got some things to say now... Coming home from Harwich port Friday night, I told my mom everything. All the fights and disagreements I’ve been in over the past few weeks, and everything that’s gone down because of it. And THIS is what she said to me:: “Kate...you probably don’t know it, but you are more lucky right now, at age fourteen then some people ever get to be in their lifetimes. You have friends, real true as earth, wind, water, and fire friends. Those four girls that you have in New York are the truest friends that you’re going to find. Amanda, Katie, Rebecca, and Kara are the girls that I know your father and I are going to see in 10-15 years standing up there in your wedding party with you. They are so true to you, and some people are so lucky to have ONE friend like that, and you have four. They live 500 miles away from you, and they still stand behind you. I know that you’re going through some shit now, but the people who do things like that to themselves, hurt themselves, physically and emotionally, and then blame it on you, they’re just isecure for themselves. It’s not your fault no matter what they might tell you...all this crap is going to pass. And all that’s going to happen is that you’re going to emerge from it stronger then they are.” I can’t believe she said that...but that’s when it hit me. I am not the one who held the razor to your wrist. I didn’t cut the skin. I didn’t bleed the blood. It was all you. Not me. I see that now...it took the words from my mom, and some words from my friends...the true ones...for me to actually get it. If you wanna walk on me...you’re going to have to push me down, you’re gonna have to bring me down first. Good luck. (( 4 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

..sometimes i feel like i just can't do it anymore.. [26 Nov 2003|10:57pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Kelly O - S h u t _ U p ] it's killing me...it really is.. right.. some people have said i'm a good actress and shit like that, yeah, huh? well, i guess it's fucking hereditary... i hate them...my parents, yeah, those ugly old fat ppl who live in my house... some of my friends have met them, they seem like nice charming, lovely people right? Mr. and Mrs. Perfect Parents. What a fucking lie...anyone ever realize that their voices raise one octave when they talk to anyone besides me and brian? and anyone ever realize that they're fucking BLIND? and my brother too...they all fucking SUCK! My mom, yeah, she's never fucking satsified with anything that I do. Never. SHE MAKES FUN OF ME CUS I HAVEN'T HAD A BOYFRIEND IN MONTHS...and then she shoves all this beauty shit in my face...and tells me I'm fat and ugly and all that crap..now she's trying to tell me who to be friends with and who NOT to be friends with, on the OKAY list it's Sarah, Emalee, and Allie B...which is FINE...but on the NOT list it's Kathryn, Dan Ford, and Dan E...which completely blows my mind...cept for Dan E...but she's such a fucking bitch about that anyhow. She tells me to do all this shit, then gets really pissed and guilt trips me to the max when I don't do exactly as she fucking wants me to....god, I hate that woman. Back at the beggining of November, she wouldn't let me go to BRENNA's party because we have to go to dinner with these people I HATE...and now she won't let me go to EMALEE's holiday party cus we have to go out with the SAME FUCKING people...GODDAMIT. And my fucking father...what does he look like again? I can't remember. Oh right...that fat balding guy...he's NEVER HERE...he's always off doing whatever the fuck he does when he works or whatever. Goddamnit. Last night, he walked in, said hi to my mom and me, got a call on that damn cell phone, and left again. Grunting bye over his shoulder. DAMN HIM. Oh, and this people, is where I get my temper from. Tomas F. Heemsoth. When this guy IS home, he's usually pissed and tired...awww..poor baby! Dick. So he gets mad at me for HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE. When he fucking YELLED AT ME the summer before 8th grade when I didn't KNOW anyone and COULDN'T have a life. I get here and finally have a LIFE and they don't let me do anything, cus they think their stuff is more important, or they don't want to drive me anywhere. And Brian keeps telling them not to let me go on that trip this summer. DAMMIT. He get's away with EVERYTHING. My mom will hear me say the word "damn" and she'll have a fucking anurism, and my brother will stand there calling her a fucking bitch and she'll be all "oh, brian..stop". ITS NOT FAIR. Dad tells me I CANT get a job this summer, and then he tells me that Brian doesnt have to go out to dinner with these damn people cus he WORKS. and when I told him that brian usually goes out with his friends saturday night, my dad goes "yeah, but he WORKS".. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!??!!??! I'm so tired of it people, I really am. They're such fakes...I can't fucking take them anymore. Ever since May 2000, my entire damn life has just gone so fucking down hill.. I'm not good enough for ANYONE anymore...>:O And I'm just so tired of it.......i hate it...i hate it so much... I'm so fucking pissed off at the world. And if ANYONE fucking messages me saying that I shouldn't be mad at the world or shouldn't bitch so much or something along those lines, I'm going to fucking castrate them. Let's just keep that in mind... Why do they all hate me?? I never did anything to them...NEVER... ..i'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong.. ..talk like everything's perfect.. ..act like it's just some dream.. ..and pretend they're not hurting me.. ..pretend they're not killing me.. [. ooh la la! .]

..It's Because You Loved Me That I'm Still Here Today.. [25 Nov 2003|08:17pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | "I Wanna Fall In Love Again" - Babes In Arms ] Wow...I was uhmm..looking through my 8th grade yearbook today, and I was reading all the signatures, and I stumbled across one that is probably the best signature, the best message, the best..something...that anyone has ever told me, written to me, sang to me...etc..so I decided to share it with all of you..some of you will no right away who wrote this, some of you won't...some of you won't even know this person, some of you will.. but here it is, word for word: ----- "Hey Mellon -- I love you so much Kate, you are the best person in the world (actually I think Katie's close behind) The pen died! Oh no...ah well, new one now. My writings all over the place. I hate writing in print, but you're mellon and you asked so whatever. I'm going to take up this entire page collumn thingy...it's gonna take up the whole tree. Tree!? Where the hell did that come from? You won't be able to read this, will you dammit. Oh well. Orli is a sexy beast. Now Katie's talking about blowing up the earth, and you gotta go home. I really don't want you to go. You're mellon...you're like...like god! I know it's weird and sounds wrong but we're soul mates. Kate, we're destined to know each other for all eternity. It's like they said at the end.."I'll come back to you, I promise." and I always will. Whenever you need me. With Love, your sister, Meatballhead PS - miss you physcic ditz, and remember "Happiness is found all around us...some people just live with their eyes closed." PPS - I told you I'd use up the page PPPS - Remember this..."Beauty is found behind the eyes"...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.. love you." ----- That...is the best thing...anyone has every written to me...that anyone's ever said to me, in fact... [. ooh la la! .]

Hehhee...it's me! [25 Nov 2003|02:53pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Me Against The Music - Britney & Madonna ] NAME ANALYSIS FOR: Kate Marie Heemsoth -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kate: You have good recuperative abilities and strong mental determination. You are very private and dislike others prying into your affairs. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. Marie: You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You have a need to be up front. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. Heemsoth: You are an 11th hour person, always succeeding just in the nick of time. The lesson of money is prominent in your life. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You need to learn when to let go. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You need to learn faith in place of fear. You need to learn the true value of material possessions. You have a natural protection in life. You are always saved - especially from yourself. Got it from here: http://miva.zodiacal.com/acro.mv [. ooh la la! .]

Even More Random! =D [24 Nov 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | I ' m _ R e a l ] K You like to try new things. A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind. T You have an attitude, a big one. E You are a very exciting person. ^--errr...heheh...kind of sort of me... if you wanna do it heres the key:: A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind. B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people. C You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it. D You have trouble trusting people. E You are a very exciting person. F Everyone loves you. G You have excellent ways of viewing people. H You are not judgemental. I You are always smiling & making others smile. J Jealousy. K You like to try new things. L Love is something you deeply believe in. M Success comes easily to you. N You like to work, but you always want a break. O You are very open-minded. P You are very friendly and understanding. Q You are a hypocrite. R You are a social butterfly. S You are very broad-minded. T You have an attitude, a big one. U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards. V You have a very good physical and looks. W You like your privacy. X You never let people tell you what to do. Y You cause a lot of trouble. Z You're always fighting with someone. [. ooh la la! .]

Random =D [24 Nov 2003|08:46pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | W h i t e _ F l a g ] Seven things you love (in no order): 1. my friends 2. my family (sometimes) 3. Orlando Bloom 4. Joohnny Depp 5. Michelle Branch CD 6. The OC 7. DRAMA Seven things you hate: 1. ------- ------ 2. Greg Goodwin 3. broken hearts 4. reality tv shows 5. the color pink 6. root beer 7. slutttttts Seven things in your room: 1. Bed 2. Ceiling Fan 3. Dresser 4. Closet 5. cd player 6. walls are completley covered in posters of random hot guys..haha 7. book case Seven random facts about you: 1. *I'm So Tired Of Speaking Words That No One Understands 2. *It's So Lonely Being Free... 3. I LOVE THE OC 4. Orli Bloom is fiiiiine 5. I <3 ______ 6. I had four surgeries in my life 7. i love random people/random questions Seven things you plan to do before you die: 1. Fall in Love 2. Go somewhere exotic in the world 3. SCUBA dive in the great barrier reef 4. Fly 5. Become somebody important 6. Get married & have a family (don't we all?) 7. Actually tell people how I really feel about them Seven things you can do: 1. dance 2. act 3. sing (sorta) 4. have useless LOTR trivia knowledge 5. speak my mind (sometimes) 6. swim 7. Type without looking at the keys! go me! Seven Things You Can't Do: 1. math 2. listen to classical music 3. ask someone out 4. Always tell people what I'm thinking 5. study. (its some sort of disease i have) 6. become super religious 7. play golf Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex: 1. Funny 2. Sweet 3. nice to my friends 4. good personality 5. Likes me for me 6. Sensitive 7. outgoing Top Seven favorite movies (no particular order): 1. LOTR: FOTR 2. LOTR: TTT 3. LOTR: ROTK 4. Finding Nemo 5. Love, Actually 6. POTC! 7. BLue Crush Top Seven things you say the most: 1. yeah 2. haha 3. cool 4. wtffffffff 5. Ok 6. omg 7. spiffy [. ooh la la! .]

..Because You Are So Amazing... [23 Nov 2003|11:45am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Sleigh Ride ] Wee.. Made a new layout...isn't it off the heezey? ;) Hahaha...alright..things I SHOULD be doing today: .:*Chores *:.Homework .:*Chores *:.Homework.. Yeah...I'm sooo behind in sci. already...it's not even funny.. Saw Rumors again last night...greeeeeeeeeat joooooob you guysssss.. lol...found this on B.I.A. today: Babes In Arms, 1936 Plot: A group of teenagers, whose parents are out of work vaudevillians, stagea revue to keep from being sent to a work farm. Unfortunately, the show is a bomb. Later, when a transatlantic franch flyer lands nearby they are able to attract enought publicity to put on a successful show and build their own youth center wooo hooo!! tryouts are december 15...I'm so excited..and I just cant hide it...I'm about to lose control and I think I like it... wee...gonna go do chores and hw and stuff.. =D Only 33 weeks 1 day until me & maddie leave for europe..=D! [. ooh la la! .]

..green eyes & red hair..luck of the irish.. [22 Nov 2003|04:55pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | "The Bachelor" ] Hmm.. let's see...what's new in the life of Kate..errr...Kitty.. Mom's in New York this weekend. Nan had some kind of major surgery, so she's down there looking after her. She should be home tommorow night. uhm...friday (yesterday) night was the play.. I was blown away. This was the first school production that I've sat in the audience and watched since....4th grade. Kathleen, Kate, Katie, Kate, Maribeth, Amaris, Tony, Sam, Matt, Mary and Jay...you all did soooo well!!! Congratulations on doing such an amazing job. I absolutely adored the play. Must admit..I was a *tad* jealous when Kate P. came on as Cookie..hahaa...really wish I was up there with the rest of them...I really miss acting...if I don't get cast in the musical, I'm going to be sooo crushed.. Wow. Okay..on a happier note.. Slept over Allie's last night after the play...hahahaha...great fun. Allie and her uncapability to make chocolate pudding...hahah...great... Came home to find out that I got a call from People To People.. Kate & Maddie are going to EUUUUUUUUUUUUROOOPE.... Hahahah...gonna be soooooo much fun!! :-D Cannot wait untill this summer....first meeting is december 13. Bwaah!! Tryouts for "Babes in Arms" are december 15 and 16... Must go...shower and become all super-usher again for tonight...ahah... Dad has work, so he has to pick me up late...around 10:10-ish.. Bwaaaaah..haha... will write more later.. (( 6 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

LMFAO!! XD! [20 Nov 2003|03:58pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Crazy In Love ] Aragorn's my fancy! What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world! Frodo's my fancy! What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world! Sam's my fancy! What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world! Legolas is my fancy! What's your fancy? Click here and tell the world! XD!! *wipes tears from eyes* Cassie Claire ROCKS my world..hahaha.. make sure you read the entry below this one..hehe (( 2 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

In Honor Of Their Being Only 27 Days Left.. [20 Nov 2003|03:20pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | S o l i t u d e ] What not to do at Return of the King 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?" 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better." 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring." 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies. 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts. 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson." 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!" 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians. 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck. 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style. 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!" 14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins. 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!" 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre. 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?" 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie. 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long. 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused. 21. Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago. 22. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!" 23. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like. 24. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene. 25. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California. 26. When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!" 27. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go!" LMFAO!!!..haha..you most likely WONT understand these unless you read the books..like myself..haha [. ooh la la! .]

I.Want.To.Die... [19 Nov 2003|07:45pm] [ mood | numb ] [ music | Gollum's Song ] "Everybody's at War, With Different things... I'm at war with my own heart sometimes.. Well. I found out something today. Anyone, except for four girls in new york, who has a very close relationship with me, or holds me in high regard.. Turn. Back. Now. Twice, in the past year, I've gotten to know people, two in particular, and I've gotten to really care about them, and they about me. And then I ruined their lives...ruined them.. twice in the past one year I've done this. Twice. So..if you're supposedly close to me..get away now.. before I get you too... You know I used to think I was a half decent person... Now I don't think I ever was.. These Tears I Cry... Have Come Too Late For All The Lies I've Told You. The Hurt - The Blame. And I Have Weeped, To Be So Alone. I Am Lost. I Can Never Go Home... (( 2 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

I ran away today..ran from the noise..ran away.. [18 Nov 2003|02:38pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | Family Portrait ] Hmm...well. It's been brought to my attention that I, apparently, don't "tell anyone anything".. Really now? Well..here goes: Full Name: Kate Marie H. (it IS the internet ya know...) Screen Name: xl0ve s0ng 1462x Age: 14 years old. Born on September 29, 1989 Love Intrest: None. And that, some may find interesting, is the truth. No, I am ot just saying that so that I'll "throw him off the trail" or something assinine like that. I've just realized that it was pathetic and pointless cause, so I've given up. Quite happy, actually. No crushes for Kate..well..unless you can count Orlando and Johnny...no? Didn't think so. Past Boyfriends: Seven. Not gonna list them all here tho..might embarass the poor things. Siblings: One 17 year old brother, who isn't as bad as I tell everyone he is. Family: Lots..direct? mom, dad, brother, 2 dogs, Nick and Brewster.......other? aunt lisa, uncle vinny, isabelle & quincy (dogs); nan, hon, dexter & baxter (dogs); Grandma & grandpa; Aunt Cathy, Uncle Tony, Danny, Mike, & Barney (cat); Uncle Ricky, Aunt Karan, Mea Lea, and their dog; Uncle Tommy, Aunt Amy, Drew, a baby girl on the way, and Jack (dog); and then there's aunt ann, uncle tom, amy, and chris... Family LIFE: Ehh..sometimes it seems like everyone's fucking dying. My dog is dying...my uncle is really sick...and my family is just kind of falling apart. My grandma is having major surgery on saturday...and my uncle is just...god..I dont know anymore. Then my aunt ann and uncle tom and co. (in FL) have ignored me and my parents and brother since I was like, six...argh...and I dont know if my parents can afford to send me to Europe this summer like they keep saying they can. My grandparents (gramma and g-pa) are soo infuriating. I was telling them about the P2P trip, and she was like "well, when your mom and dad have enough money--maybe you can go." UGH.. Friends: I dont know...I mean, sure, I have them..and I love them...they know who they are. Friend..i dunno..LIFE?: Haha...err...well..right now, I'm finding out that a bunch of people are talking shit about me behind my back, including some people who called themselves my friends. And then they're that fight with Kathryn that will hopefully be over by tommorow....hmm...I forsee an argument in Computers tommorow.. Personal Sickness/Surgeries: Umm...well. I've had four correctional cleft-pallet surgeries...ah..which, by the way is the reason I look the way I do. It's not my FUCKING CHOICE. I had a freaking birth defect people...it's not MY fault. And over the summer I was really sick...like...coughing up blood sick... Anything else you want to know, just ask... ANYHOW.. I heard about Korie, Kelly, Mario, Allie, and all the other random people that stood up for me today..I luv ya guys.. Kind of uneasy about going to school tommorow tho..lol.. I Ran Away Today. Ran From The Noise, Ran Away. I Don't Wanna Go Back To That Place.. But Don't Have No Choice, No Way... [. ooh la la! .]

...sigh.. [17 Nov 2003|07:44pm] *laughing cynically* know what I realized today? ahahahaha... there has been ONE single male person that i have ever met, who has not judged me on looks before he got to know me. he is one of the bestest, most spifftastic people i know.. he should know who he is..thanks for everything..to him.. (( 1 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

sorry you can't define me..sorry i break the mold.. [16 Nov 2003|07:55pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Oldies - Do You Love Me? ] Okay! Pop quiz readers! You spend twelve years of your life living in one place, and having a pretty good life. Sure, your heart gets broken sometimes, but you always got those wonderful four girls that stick by your side no matter what happens. And the people that will "boycott" a boy because he made you feel like shit..=) THEN...you're parents break that promise that they made to you when you were nine years old, you know, that one about how they promise that you're gonna live in New York with your friends and family untill you go to college, and they promise they won't ruin your life before hand..yeah. That one. Well, they break it. And you are forced to move to a place that you absolutely hate. Yep. Yep. Yep.. Harwich, Massachusetts. Man, you think..this place SUCKS...you're house is bright green, the wallpaper is falling off the walls, there's a stain on the living room carpet that looks suspiciously like blood, and the rest of the house is 60's style. Wow. It DOES suck. You spend the entire summer completely alone. Oh, except for the wonderful eighteen days out of the entire summer when your soul-sister is stuck in this hell hole with you, and the five days you spend with your aunt in florida. Sure, these things are great. But they will pass. Neither of them makes you truly happy... (wow..I don't know if anyone really realizes how.....odd....that I would say something like that...I should erase it...you know, backspace key..but I don't think I will..hmm) So then it's the beggining of september. A whole new school! Yay!!!...not. Everyone has been telling you that Harwich people are great, they don't care about appearances, they dont do drugs, they don't smoke. Not like those silly rowdy New York teenagers! Hahahahahah...what a load of bullshit...harwich people, yeah, they SUCK.. First month in, I get more ridiculed for my appearance in Harwich then I got in an entire seventh grade in New York. Argh...okay readers, are you paying attention? So then you meet this girl. Who seems perfect in everyway. Pretty, AND really nice!....and you two become best friends. And you find somethings slightly annoying about her..like her constant need to be the center of attention and her constant leading on/flirting of any guy she meets, but you get used to it, and you learn to ignore her faults and move on. And you think she gets used to your sarcastic humor and your random improv. Well. How wrong you were. One day, a year after you met her, she tells you that half the things you say make her "feel bad", even though they're just kidding. So then. She expects you to change half of your personality that you've had for fourteen years in less than one short little week. Okay, got all that readers? Now for the question... Are you pissed off at her? A. Of course. Why shouldn't you be? She's way out of line here. B. Naaah...you'll just let her walk all over you and push her way to center stage again. Well. I, personally, went with choice A...but that's just me... (( 1 )) |[. ooh la la! .]

blaaaaah... [14 Nov 2003|11:56pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | lies - evanescence ] argh. i mention before that i went to the movies..now i have some venting to do.. has anyone in my little group of friends, that there's this one person who always has to be the center of attention? Or am I just going insane. Because with this one person, I get this feeling that everything is a fucking competition. It just pisses me off so much. It's like they can't stand not being number one.. argh...it's like...arrrrrrrrrgh.. just..grrrr.. blah..nvm just kinda skip this entry and move on to the next one down.. I'm So Sick Of Speaking Words That No One Understands.. [. ooh la la! .]

. . . dont . try . to . fix . me . im . not . broken . . . [14 Nov 2003|10:04pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | H E L L O _ e v a n e s c e n c e ] hmm.. just got back from seeing ELF with Dan E, Dan F, and Allie B... hahaha...sooo much fun...lmfao...on the way from bk to the CVS..dan and his little..errr...act...that he does so very well..hahaha.. movie was really...super! haha...Ford prolly hated it tho..it was great..hahahaha.. hmm... something seemed...off...tonight..i dont know..must talk to dan (?..either one) later on tonight.. nothing else really.. wml... [. ooh la la! .]

.:*Quizzies*:. [13 Nov 2003|04:23pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Angels Among Us ] You are Envy! Wow... what a dreamer. Always wanting what you can't have, and always dreaming of having more then you do. It's not the worst sin, and we're all guilty of it - but you take it to the extreme! You are prone to depression, often from things you can't obtain. Be a bit more positive, you have a lot that others want too - so don't sit there being all green! On the positive side, you tend to be a smart person - and can often achieve the goals you set yourself. Congratulations on being the overall harmless, and pretty normal one of the 7 deadly sins :) ?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla ! You are most like An Emerald ! Caring, giving, - and very emotional. You're the person people turn to with a problem. You worry about everybody, and genuinely want to help - a little too much sometimes. As an emerald, you tend to take a more backseat to the other gems, but your inner beauty soon captivates those who take the time to get to know you. Congratulations ... You're the selfless gem everybody needs as a friend. ?? Which Precious Gem Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla You're Most Like The Season Winter ... You're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is. Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons :) ?? Which Season Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla =/..that's all for now.. [. ooh la la! .]

**SuRvEy** [11 Nov 2003|08:46pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | watching tv ] :::your last everythings::: last cigarette: never smoked...never will last car ride: 5:47 tonight last kiss: ages ago...bwaaaaaaaaaaah.. last good cry: ...about an hour ago last movie seen: Robin Hood: Men in Tights last cuss word uttered: "oh-my-god" last beverage drank: diet pepsi last food consumed: chicken noodle soup last crush: you mean CURRENT? lol...I think everyone knows by now..haha last phone call: Vin last tv show watched: Will & Grace last time showered: 10 minutes ago last shoes worn: sneakers last cd track played: "Lonely" - Britney last item bought: uh...Sarah's B-Day gift last downloaded: Two Teardrops last annoyance: Mario...lol...j/p =P last disappointment: there's no RAMEN in my house? last soda drank: diet pepsi last thing written: ...i'm beautiful? -- in an IM to someone.. last word spoken: "holy-shit" last sleep: 10:03 this morning last im: Kane/Mario last weird encounter: car ride home from Kathryns last ice cream eaten: ...dont remember! It's been so long! last time amused: Kapin's this afternoon last time wanting to die: ...a few nights ago? last time in love: REAL love?? sigh...I wouldnt know.. last underwear worn: TMI...hahaha last bra worn: ...TMI..lol.. last shirt worn: my celestial pj top =D last time dancing: Dancing like a moron and loving it at Sarah's party last poster looked at: Hideously green Happy Bunny one ("It's All About Me - Deal With It") last show attended: wow...concert: Dream Upon a Dream tour (Britney) with Mellon last webpage visited: www.yahoo.com :::DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it::: .38. Do you live in the moment? depends...on what kind of mood I'm in .39. Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? holy shit yes...you could shoot me in the leg and I'd get over it.. .40. Do you have any secrets? of course...don't you? .41. Do you hate yourself? ...sort of. I hate things about me..not everything though .42. Do you like your handwriting? yeah..it's spiffy .43. Do you have any bad habits? of course..haha .44. What is the compliment you get most from people? "...but you ARE beautiful Kate!"..haha...b/s..lol .45. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? ...life of a twitchy random..uh...uh...senile..thing.. .46. What's your biggest fear? " "Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I've done, of what I've seen..I'm scared of who I was, and who I've become. But mostly I'm scared of walking out of this room, and never feeling again the way I feel when I'm with you.." " .47. Can you sing? sure..when I don't have a soar throat .48. Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? not to look cool..maybe to impress someone.. .49. Are you a loner? I don't THINK so.. .50. What are your no. 1 priorities in life? BE somebody...be LOVED BY somebody...GO somewhere...DO something .51. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? ...i might be..*shifty eyes* .52. Are you a daredevil? hmm..not really..depends .53. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? ooh..there's a LIST...my weight, looks, height, voice, the fact that half the things I say to people are offensive and mean w/out me realizing it.. .54. Are you passive or aggressive? more aggressive I think.. .55. Have you got a journal? *sarcasm*...noo...of course not... .56.What is your greatest strength and weakness? strength - passion..as cheesy as that sounds weakness - compassion and pity .57. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? looks...majorly LOOKS .58. 3 cups love, beauty and creativity. u can only drink out of 1. Which 1 would u drink of? I have enough creativity, and enough love to last the world over and over...I need beauty .59. How do you vent? writing, singing, dancing, self discipline, excersise... .60. Do you think you are emotionally strong? I was...once... .61.Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? of course...thousands of things .62. Do you think life has been good so far? in some aspects: yes..in others..not at all .63. What is the most important lesson u've learned from life? "Let Pain Make You Strong - Not Bitter" .64. What do you like the most about your body? uuh..my eyes? I have cool eyes...as Katie once said..^_^ .65. And least? everything (cept the eyes) .66. Do you think you are good looking? hahaha...no way no how .67. Are you confident? sure...confident in most ways.. .68. What is the fictional character you're most like? Claidis from "Wolf Tower/Queen/Star" .69. Do people know how you feel? 2 people know how I really TRULY feel.. .70. Are you perceived wrongly? most of the time :::DO YOU::: .71. Smoke? never...never...I'm not that pathetic and I don't hate myself THAT much.. .72. Do drugs? No way...never...I'm not that much of a coward. .73. Read the newspaper? ...do the funnies count? .74. Pray? no... .75. Go to church? no...not since 2nd grade .76. Talk to strangers who IM you? depends .77. Sleep with stuffed animals? hehehe...sure! lol .78. Take walks in the rain? All the time...I love the rain.. .79. Talk to people even though you hate them? only if I have to..I hate lot's of people ;) .80. Drive? Haha...I can barely drive GO-CARTS (as Dan, Maddie, & Kapin know) I will NEVER be able to drive .81. Like to drive fast? ...see above WOULD OR HAVE YOU EVER... .82. Liked your voice? speaking? No...singing? Maybe...sometimes .83. Hurt yourself? SI??!? Nooo...Never...I am not a coward. .84. Been out of the country? No..lol..I'm probably going this summer :-D .85. Eaten something that made other people sick? uhh..i dont THINK so.. .86. Had sex? no but i would of course O:-) .87. Been unfaithful? noo..lol .88. Been in love? REAL love? Fairy-Tale-knock-your-socks-off-and-blow-you-away love? no...not yet.. .89. Done drugs? nope. and never will.. .90. Gone skinny dipping? Hahah...this one time..at band camp......lmfao..nah .91. Had a medical emergency? 4 surgeries and a broken wrist and a broken ankle .92. Had surgery? yeppers...four...one when I was 6 months, one when I was a year, one when I was 12, and one when I was 12 and 1/2...all plastic/cleft pallet correctional surgeries (not the ENORMOUSNESS of my nose...the swelling will go down in about a year or so..) .93. Ran away from home? yeah...just to get away from it all .94. Played strip poker? nah...to corny for me.. .95. Gotten beaten up? yeah.. .96. Beaten someone up? hahhaa...but of course .97. Been picked on? yeah...haha...like, every school day of my life I've heard some snide little comment about my appearance/personality .98. Been on stage? YESS!! I was BORN to be on the stage... .100. Slept outdoors? yeah .101. Thought about suicide? sure.. .102. Pulled an all-nighter? once...it sucked though...haha .103. If yes, what is your record? uuh...all night...? .104. Gone one day without food? yeah...once or twice...or 14 times..lol .105. Talked on the phone all night? yeah..omg...Matt T, Mike P, & Michi R and Becca S...remember the phone sleepover we had? Hahah...we were all at Becca's site...and our parents wouldnt let us sleep at Mikes...cus they thought we would like...get into trouble at a co-ed sleepovers...so we spent untill like 3am on the phones...then we all met at the lake...and we feel asleep there..and when our parents found us in the morning they were sooo pissed - they thought that like, me and mikey had like..slept togther..hahahaha....that was great...ly guys! Hehe.. .106. Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? HAHA...see above! lmao..yeah! :-D .107. Slept all day? once...but that was right after surgery .108. Killed someone? maybe..*shifty eyes* why do you want to know? .109. Made out with a stranger? omg NO...that's just...stupid.. .110. Had sex with a stranger? omg...NO..lol...what am I - some common WHORE? .111. Thought you're going crazy? straight damn....errr...damn straight .112. Kissed the same sex? BEEN kissed... .113. Done anything sexual with the same sex? woaaaaaah...nah..lol .114. Been betrayed? yeah..:-/ .115. Had a dream that came true? *sigh* I wish... .116. Broken the law? naaah...not really .117. Met a famous person? yeah .145. Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? uuh...yeah... .146. Stolen anything? from a store? Haha..no way... .147. Been on radio/tv? yeppers .148. Been in a mosh-pit? nope .149. Had a nervous breakdown? *twitches* .150. Considered religious vocation? helllllllll no .151. Been critisized about your sexual performance? hahahaha .152. Bungee jumped? nah...might tho .153. Had a dream that kept coming back? yeah...=/ .154. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? DAMN STRAIGHT...and they are the boooooooomb..lol Who's who.. .188. Who is your best friend? Mellon .189. Who's the one person that knows most about you? Katie, Mandy, Maddie, Kapin, Kara.. .190. Best advice? giver? Kathryn, Maddie, Mandy .191. Your favourite inside joke? waaaay tooooooooo many .192. Thing you're picked on most about? my appearance .193. Who's your longest known friend? Becky G .194. Newes? Kelly/Nattie .195. Shyest? Mishka .196. Funniest? Maddie & Kapin .197. Sweetest? Kara...Becca...Maddie..Kapin...Mellon...Katie...they all rooockk .198. Closest? Mellon and Papaya .199. Weirdest? Mellon and Papaya .200. Smartest? Dannyy Fooooooooordy...hahaha...he's TOOO smart for his own good .201. Ditziest? Mellon and Papaya .202. Friends you miss being close to the most? MANDY...Katie...Kara...Becca .203. Last person you talked to online? Kara, Mario, Kane.. .204. Who do you talk to most online? Maddie.....Dan.....Katie... .205. Who are you on the phone with most? Mandy or Katie..and that's hardly ever .206. Who do you trust most? Mandy and Katie .207. Who listens to your problems? Wind and Fire .208. Who do you fight most with? idk.. .209. Who's the nicest? Mellon .210. Who's the most outgoing? Kapin...Maddie...Dan E...Mike .211. Who's the best singer? Mandy or Casey .212. Who's on your shit-list? oh god..#1..Greggy Goodwin #2 Barry White #3 Silivia Honeie .213. Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? ...maybe *shifty eyes* .214. Who's your second family? GREIFS...I <3 The Greif Family.. .215. Do you always feel understood? Nooo way... .216. Who's the loudest friend? Me...haha...uuh...Dan E? Korie? Allie? .217. Do you trust others easily? yeah .218. hmm where is it? ...*blinks* .219. Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: *smiles* that's for me to know... .220. Do your friends know you? really KNOW me? only Katie and Mandy .221. Friend that lives farthest away? Robynn and Mishka in Austrailia :( .221. Who's your best friend? Mellon..Katie..Kara..Becca..Dan F..Dan E..Mike L..Kapin..Maddie..Sarah...etc..lol :::LOVE, and all that::: .222. Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seing that as a section title? haha...a bit...lol .223. Do you remember your first love? yeah... .224. Still love him/her? no... .225. Do you consider love a mistake? love is never a mistake...no matter what age...after all, age is just a number .227. Turn-on? dark hair...hahahaa...idk .228. Turn-off? blonde hair...shoooooort guys.. .229. First kiss? ages ago...but never had a real kiss... .230. If someone liked u, but u had no feelings for them how would u feel? Oh god..past april..i felt..terrible .231. Do you like knowing someone b4 you date? yeah...dont think I'd date someone I dont know .232. Do u wish girls could ask guys out more? I think it's fine the way it is.. .233. Have you ever been attracted to an unatractive person? yeah.... .234. Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? no way... .235. What is best about the opposite sex? as my grandma says..."Men are only good for ONE thing!"...but as Dan says "SOME men are good for THREE things...triathletes"...lmfao...hahahah .236. What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? they can be...dicks.. .236. Do you read porn? no...lol .237. Read the articles? no..lol ::Last Person::: .254. That haunted you? Amara..Aidian.. .255. You wanted to kill? uuh... .256. That you laughed at? Kathryn/Maddie .257. That laughed at you? ...uhh...Kapin and Maddie? .258. That turned you on? tee hee.. .259. You went shopping with? Dan F, Dan E, Cal W, Kapin, and Maddie .260. That broke your heart? ...he'd be embarassed if he saw it here.. .261. To disappoint you? mom. .262. To ask you out? umm...well...dont want to say it...cause I rejected him... .263. To make you cry? news from my mom.. .264. To brighten up your day? Mishka and Robynn .265. That you thought about? ...he'd be sooo embarassed..lol .267. You saw a movie with? Kapin & Maddie - "Under the Tuscan Sun" .268. You talked to on the phone? Vinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn .269. You talked to through IM/ICQ? Kane...Mario...Kara...Katie..lol .270. You saw? Mom and Dad .271. You lost? ...charlie and ginger.. .272. You went head over heels for? he knows who he is.. .273. You thought was completely N-U-T-Z? Dan...hahahaha... .274. You wanted to be? Martina McBride .275. You told to fuck off? the Vet..lol .276. You trusted? Dan E. .277. You turned down? idk.. :::WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU::: .278. Smiled? just now...saw the word 'smile' .279. Laughed? at Kathryns .280. Cried? when I found out the news about...nick.. .281. Bought something? Sat. @ the mall .282. Danced? Sarahs in the dorkerific way .283. Were sarcastic? like a minute ago..haha .285. Talked to an ex? 10 minutes ago...Mike P.. .286. Watched your fave movie? not for a while... .287. Had a nightmare? like...every single night...Katie knows.. .288. Talked on the phone? uhh...monday night .289. Listened to the radio? a few minutes ago .290. Watched TV? now...8 simple rules .291. Went out? SHAWS...with Kapin and Maddie this morning.. .292. Helped someone? uuh...idk...Dan E. pick out a gift for Sarah? .293. Were mean? last night.. .294. Sang? like 2 seconds ago "wrapped up in you"..haha .295. Saw a movie? this morning "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" .296. Said I love you? few minutes ago...to mom .297. Missed someone? every.goddamned.day. .298. Fought with a family member? a few hours ago .299. Fought with a friend? uuh...saturday .300. Had a serious conversation? a little while ago .301. Smoked weed? NEVER.. .302. Got drunk? NEEEEEEEVER .303. Had sex? n/a .238. Just the pics? ......O.O..Never! .239. What's the last present someone gave you? Mike!! LOL...he gave me a moose for my b-day...my LATE b-day .240. Are you in love? yeah...I think I am.. .241. Do you consider your significant other hot? i dont have one..but the one i'd like to have is cute..lol .242. When you see a hot guy wut do u do? lol Kapin & Maddie.."omg...he is SOO hott!...so these scientists have discovered the prehistoric fish.." :::THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES::: .243. Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? every once and a while .244. What would you do if u were a girl? I AM a girl...lol .245. What do you love most about the other gender? ...i really don't know..lol...i just do.. .246. What do you dislike most? about guys? they can be so...arrogant .247. What do you understand least? about guys? guys..hehe.. .248. What do you notice first in the opposite sex? eyes..hair WOOOOOOO...FINALLY...DONE!!! Comment!! It calls to you! [. ooh la la! .]

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