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Amazed - Lonestar |
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I know I was acting a bit irrational tonight, but I want to be with you more than anything right now, and it hurts so much to not have you. I'm just trying to see how all of this is going to help us. I don't see how you hurting me this badly is going to make anything better. If you want it to work so badly, why are you doing this? Aren't you scared that I might just walk away from it all? For a while I was thinking about it, but like I said, I saw you, and all of that just melted away.
I'm sorry if I hurt you by dating and fooling around with Adam. But you have to understand how hurt I was. I don't think I could possibly make you understand. But, the point is, I realized it was wrong, that it was just a bad idea, so I ended it. I kept thinking we were getting so close to finally working, but then I get the news that you're dating someone else. That was just... I think my heart literally shattered. Like, it just fell apart. I could feel it drop to my knees. I felt sick. I still do. I love you so much, and I just want us to work, but it seems so impossible right now. Like I'm chasing an impossible dream or something. And I just don't understand how you can sit back and watch while you do this to me. I don't know what you want to get out of this. I just need some sort of explanation. I need to know why you think this is good, and I don't want to hear, "Trust me." As selfish as it sounds, I want to know how I'm going to benefit. And most of all, I want to know why, if we both love each other, and we both know (or at least hope) we're going to get back together, then why can't we? We can't we just give in? Why do we have to play this stupid fucking game?
/Edit:
When I was dating Adam, I only gave him a small piece of me. Then I took it back, because I wanted to be able to give you all of my when you were ready. How much have you given to her? How much of you will I get? How important am I to you? You should know at this point that you are one of the most important things in my life right now, but I don't know where I stand with you.
Another thing I don't understand... why would you tell me you love me? Why would you say that now if you know we weren't going to date soon? Why would you get my hopes up? Do you like seeing me get hurt?
/Edit:
Althought, I must say, you actually don't have the right to be jealous about that. If you didn't want me fooling around with other guys, than you shouldn't have told me you didn't want to see me anymore. You should've held onto me instead of thrown me to the side. I think I do have the right to be jealous. I didn't let go of you, I lost you, and I want you back. I never wanted to leave you, it's you who wanted to leave me.
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