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Saturday, October 4th, 2003

Time:5:53 am.
It's sunday which means that the weekend is practically over. It has been a long weekend, or so it seems. Friday was the game, and I got in yet another fight with a shitload of niggers. Oh my goodness, dumb people. And Justine was there, and Corey said Justin wanted to take me to homecoming, but Justin was all over some other girl. I didn't think I wanted Justin that way, but when I saw him with her- it just.. ugh. I'm all fucked up about it, and don't know why. It's fucking horrible. Then Saturday I didn't do much of anything, except went to the store. Then today, I watched a movie called Girl, Interupted, this movie made me cry so many times. It was horrible. It was all about suicide and "crazy people" but for the first time I saw that movie and thought- I feel that way. It hurts to smile sometimes, and all I want to do is just sleep. I might not go to school tomorrow, I don't know- fake sick.

I know what it's like to want to die,
how it hurts to smile.
How you try to fit in, but you can't.
How you hurt yourself on the outside
just to try to kill the thing on the inside.
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Blurty for Something to look foward to.

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