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[14 Mar 2004|09:54pm]

H: 5 feet 9 inches
W: 137. YAY

Been doing soooo well this week, only today, i ate everything. I went to Ihop for breakfast, and ate 2 eggs, 2 bacon strips, two pork strips, two sausage links, and a stuffed frinch toast with brownies. For dinner I had half a poptart and a bag of low fat low cal popcorn. I start my fast tomorrow! Wish me luck. I need to drop 15 more lbs! AHHH
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Good Job [02 Mar 2004|12:29am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | none ]

I did a good job on my fast. I did have a cheeseburger, and some chips, but I only ate half. Besides that I burned 200 calories running at the gym. I came back and ate some yogurt, to fill the tummy after working so I don't burn Muscle. Total calories, about 600-800. Not bad if you ask me. i am really tired, and am going to fast tomorrow but I think I am going to eat a breakfast so I am not super tired. I have sooo much hw to do tomorrow. Catcha later

Maybe I did break my fast but it was the longest I ever went without food.

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Fasting [01 Mar 2004|12:51pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]
[ music | Moulin Rouge Soundtrack ]

Hey everyone, it's one oclock, and nothing but 5 crackers so far. When fasting it's good to eat in the morning to wake up you metabloism. Also, I needed to eat a little to take my vitamin. When I eat it on a empty stomach I get queasy. i HATE THAT FEELING. I keep telling myself nothing feels as good as being thin does. I really have more weight to loose, and since I was a pig this weekend, I need to not eat today. i figure if I do this for two days, and drink a lot of water, I will loose a pound of fat. (about 3,000 calories burned plus a workout.) I know I can push myself. I want to be perfect. I have so much homework to do, plato, and Lit research. Fuck that sucks. I really hate that class. Anyway, I told Jimmy I wasn't feeling good and that's why I am not eating. I am so lucky to have a boyfriend that supports this. He knows its not the healthiest thing, but I cry and cry and cry when I don't diet, and he see's I am absolutley miserable with the way I look. He's really skinny, just a tall, thin lanky guy, and I hate the fact I am fatter, then him. His sister is pro ana, and tops out at a size 0. She's gorgeous, and that's what I want to be like. She is shorter then me, but with a little help, I should be able to get down to a size 4 or so. Now I am about an 8. My friend Judy got sooo fat. I really looked at he in class today, and a huge Large T shirt was tight on her. Gross. I started laughing out loud because I pictured he in the little pink bikini I want so bad. EWWW And she wonders why no guys ever like her. She needs Ana desperatly.

It's such a beautiful day out. 65 degrees. I love it. The weather beforehand has been in the 20's so I am so grateful for this amazing weather. It makes me so happy to hear the birds, and to know someday I will be light enough to fly along next to them.

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Anna will hate me [01 Mar 2004|02:09am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | my roomates snores ]

Hey everyone

I am so tired. After watching the oscars, guzzling soda, and writing a play, I can't sleep. I have so much on my mind. I need to loose more weight. I ate and ate and ate and ate today. Anna would shoot me. I am fasting tomorrow, and running. The good news is I brought a guitar. Now I can play instead of eat. Next weekend Jimmy is taking me to get my belly button done. That means extra crunches. I really want to loose 15 ore pounds. After watching Nicole Kidman and Angelina Joline on the oscars, I realized how much I really do want to be just like them. I can see their bones. They are so beautiful, and famous for a reason. I want to walk and have people turn heads of me and respect me for my weight. Some of the actresses were so FAT. Zowlinger, the girl in Chicago, but on weight, Oprah. All are fat. They need to hire Ana.

My fast starts tomorrow. And I need to sleep now. 2am and sooo tired.

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[28 Feb 2004|07:21pm]
[ mood | full ]

Hey everyone. Good news and bad news.

Good news. I lost inches. In school I don't have access to a scale so I measure my inches with a string. Here are my personal sats.

Height: 5"9'
Weight: 136
Waist: 27 1/2
Hips: 34 1/2
Bottom of bust: 30
Breat: 36
Arms: 11 1/2 around
Thigh 20 1/2

Bad news. Binge today. I guess since I starved myself all weekend I overate. I hate myself for that.

2 Boston Cream donuts
3 hashbrowns
3 scoops vanilla ice cream with 3 tbs sprinkles
15 shrimp
diet soda
one small cc muffin
4 strips bacon. No 6.
half a boritto.

I wanted to throw it up so bad. My stomach hurt sooo bad. I'll never eat again. At least not untill Wed. I'll have to make it up by running. I hate running, and that way I'll pay. My boyfriend is down and he encourages my behavior. I just don't want him to think I am too crazy. I guess it's a good thing I ate. One day is not going to make me gain 5 lbs. Ok I'm lying, but no more junk. I still have 20 lbs to loose.


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hey this is me [25 Feb 2004|08:15pm]
Sorry for the messed up messages before. I want to delete them. I am learning to computer and for the most part I am pretty illiterate. Anyway. This is going to be my expression my feeling about food. I am not exactly anorexic, but my habits are leading me there. I want to be thinner, and beautiful. I want people to look at me and love me. I want to control all the food that goes into my body. I am now:

Height 5'9''
Weight : 135. I started at 145.

I will get my hips and other information later. Right now I am in my dorm and my roomate will wonder what the hell I am doing. All of my friends are fat. They complain to me that I'm skinny but I am not. Being lazy is awful. They can not pass up chocolate cake, or ice cream. They sit and eat and eat and eat. They might as well just push the cheesecake and icing into their thighs because thats where is obviously goes to. I will be 120 even if kills me. Giselle, Anna, Paris Hilton, they are all model for a reason!


1. You will be thin (Well duh! Thats enough of a reason for me!)

2. You won't look at pictures of models and celebs wishing you were their size anymore, because YOU WILL BE there size, instead other people will look at you wistfully.

3. You will be able to wear your 'thin clothes' again.

4. You will look good in whatever you wear, no more holding that stomach in for you!!

5. Men will find you more attractive.

6. You will feel more confident and happy in yourself.

7. You will look perfect on the outside, allowing your inner perfection to show.

8. You will have complete control over your life, and other people will know.

9. Fat= a lazy, slobby, greedy and unintelligent person. Thin= an intelligent, eager person who is in control of her life.

10. You will rule your stomach (isn't that the way it should be?!!), while others are slaves to hunger.

11. You will save money on grocery bills.

12. You will suddenly discover more hours in the day when you can do other useful things, just think of all the time that is wasted cooking, eating and clearing up meals!!

13. You will feel better and less tired - the average bowling ball weighs 10 pounds, so its no wonder overweight people feel lethargic all the time.. you will feel as light as a feather.

14. You will be able to see your beautiful pure bones.

15. You will have less chance of having a heart attack.

16. You will no longer need to use contraceptives ;).. aint mother nature grand!!

17. You will be able to wear a bikini and feel proud.

18. People will congratulate you on how much weight you've lost, those who don't are jealous.

19. You will be perfect, as nature intended you, without all that blubbery fat covering up who you really are. You will be exposed.

20. You will turn heads.

21. You can feel superior as everyone else stuffs their face with fat and you exist on not much more than air.
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[25 Feb 2004|03:06pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

i am tired of trying to firgure out this webblog. I am hungry and sick of college work. This shit never ends.

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THIN IS IN [28 Jan 2004|01:27pm]
I want to be thin. I will be thin. I will not eat more than 1000-1200 calories a day. That will cut back to even less. I am ana. I want to be Nicole Kidman, Giselle, Heidi Krum. They know the secret. They do not eat. I will not eat. I will drop from a size 10 to a size four. This is my pledge. My oath. FAT FAT FAT FAT FOOD IS EVIL.
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