stahrbright's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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love above all, can never be replaced......through it, all is conquered [02 Mar 2004|06:21pm]
[ mood | guilty ]
[ music | hilary duff/come clean ]

It seems like everyone hates me!! i feel like a horrible person. One of my best frends is madd at was all a big misunderstanding and now i think he hates me. Oh yea and i got kalled a bitch today too! i wont mention any names but if this guy is so "in love" with me ...he'd know that thats not the greatest way to win a gurls heart. ANyways, im not gonna kall him...why should i? hes stupid. ive kissed ass to too many people and im not gonna do it no more. But i guess i should kall my frend>our frendship is worth kissing ass. literally> ahh j/k lol . Today i went to take track piktures. it was funny kus me and iris were thinking we were gonna have a reall photographer and all and then coach busts out with his disposable camera and im like > omg! lol it was funny ....and retarded. We didnt runn at practice today so it wasnt so bad. Things havent been so great in the "boi" dept. once a cheater always a cheater? Is that how it works? he kalled me, said he still liked me and says hes changed. I dunno, sometimes i believe it but then i many times have i heard this before? hes capable of hurting me again ...that is a fact...anyone can hurt me, but what if he really does kare this time? I dont really know if i like him , but theres been something there for about 2 years now and it hasnt gone away. I kant say exactly what it is .....or why i keep wanting him to be true. I wish hed never said he liked me... i wish i didnt want to go back to him... I promised myself so many nights that id never go back to him and i did good for a while , but now my past is coming back to haunt me i guess. It sucks! he says soo many sweet things and acts like the greatest guy in the world...but then i think ...this is how he was when he cheated on me too. and i kant except him back kus if i do , ill be lying to myself and to him . Cause maybe what i want isnt him....maybe what i want is for someone to treat me the way he did. OR maybe i just want him . lol . haha

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a whisper from your voice and i quickly fade away...... [29 Feb 2004|12:54am]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | my immortal/evanesence ]

Hey everyone this is my new journal>>this is really gonna be the last time i change websites...i know that its like the 3rd or 4th time i do this but this time im gonna stick here for a long while.Ive taken a long time to think and i thought i should start all over with my way of thinking. this probly makes no sense but its okay kus i understand it. Anyways>today i saw "the passion of christ", i really dont wanna comment on that so ill move on ....Oh yea! i just got back from ana's quincenera, i saw alot of people i used to talk to kinda got me thinking>i wonder wat things would be like if i wouldve stayed in mcallen.i saw people i was really klose to. Me and ana were like best frends and neighbors. we were frends since the 2nd or 3rd grade. I can still remember all the stupid lil fights we got into and the really good times we thought we were the coolest. lol.Oh wow ...i hope i never forget those times...those were times when i knew that frends were forever. Now of course, i know frends suck! ahh j/k ..well most of them do.. and then there are those few that stick around and care about you. This hasnt been a good year so far...this is an over view of everything that happened:
1.Jan. 1-stayed home crying
2.Jan. 13-my bf breaks up with me<"he needs time">
3.Feb.14-Valentines day is sad when uve got no one
4.Feb.25-i find out my best friend lied to me
5.Feb.27-my x boi frend calls me....i dont want to go back to him
6.Feb.29-i figure out that the only true friend to have is within ureself
so watcha think? and its only February..only 10 more months to go...maybe things will change.

this passed week.i accomplished alot...i had a track meet at PSJA and i improved my time for the mile and the 800.I got 4th in the mile. THat night was cold... THis six weeks i failed algebra with a 69! but its okay kus im getting a waver to be able to run anways. lol. ive decided to either gain alot of weight or lose weight....still thinking tho.. i kant decide. lol.. i just want some change in my life thats all. maybe i wont do either one and just eat when im hungry .as for my so kalled-"love life",id rather say ,"no comment"plz. march 8th is my date for surgery ..thats on a monday, im kinda skared kus im gonna have to go to the hospital.ive never had surgery so i dont know wat its gonna be like. Ely said she'd call to chek up on me. awwwthanks frend! yea so....i dunno wat else to talk about except kinda tired and i probly should be going now.....Love you all! bye ..muah!

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