| : holding on |
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| 11:33p 05/06/06mon |
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i breath in, i can remember the way you smell. close my eyes and your standing here by my side. i still taste you on my lips. counting down the days till i can see you again. a few days can feel like an internity to wait to be with you. you are on my mind always, always with me. i know when i see you again you will hold me in your arms and never let go. i hold on to every memory of you. do you feel me with you even as we stand so far apart. distance might be between us but our hearts are as one, always moving together and keeping us together. i miss you more then anything but i hold on.. i hold on to you. |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : love broken by separation |
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| 09:19p 07/09/05wed |
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Take my heart, take my life. I feel like I am dying inside and don't want to feel this pain anymore. I've lost my love and I'm loosing myself inside my head. I'd be living a lie if I could show you a smile. This just doesn't feel right without him. The sweetness he has still on my lips, I can taste him deep inside me. Please just take my heart, I swear I don't need it anymore if I can't have him. I'm just laying here broken as my thoughts choke on him. I am alone here, I could tell you the words but you would never feel my pain. He was taken from me and our love was broken. I'm dying here just take my life. I don't know where I belong if I am not beside him. I will run forever and never find a peace of mind again. I want to run home to him, but he isn't living there anymore.. There is no place to go, I'm only lost inside. |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : skin deep |
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| 01:17a 18/02/04wed |
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red nail polish and lip gloss. is that how we rate beauty these days? 'c' breasts and a tight ass, isn't that what every guy wants on his girl? don't let the mascara run of powder fade, you'll never be beautiful again. you can never look at yourself in the mirror as you hide behind that mask. pop those diet pills and starve yourself thin. it's the only way to get that body. paint yourself pretty every day for the world. everyone loves the beauty queen. dress up in glitter and gold, a false sparkle for your bland soul. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet everyone is a fashion king here. so play your role as the pretty doll, while the world pulls your strings. |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : love left fallen |
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| 01:10a 18/02/04wed |
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mood: distressed music: the used - maybe memories
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you play your games to leave me running in circles. fuck my head, you've already stolen my sanity. i tried to get you back and cut the strings to your heart. so why is it that i'm the one left bleeding? raw flesh and fresh blood, i've slit my wrists and killed my own love. my breath gasping and vision darkens. i can still hear you laugh as you hover over me. i played your games and i lost. who knew the games of love could be so fatal? |
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1 hole bleeding \\ |
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| : crowded loneliness |
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| 01:42a 06/01/04tue |
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i walk the crowded streets of the city. yet i feel as if i was left alone. no matter how many faces i see or bodies i run into as i walk. eyes catch sight of every couple that passes, the lonely strings tug at my heart once more. how long have i been in this state of denial? how many tears have i cried that went unnoticed? i reach out my hand but no one reaches for mine. i feel disconnected from the world and drown myself in my sorrow. depression hits hard, no one likes to be alone. if i crumbled to the ground, would anyone notice? would they stop to help me to my feet? people pass me by without a second glance, am i really invisible? i could stand and scream as loud as i could in this crowd and not one head would turn. i am more alone then i could ever had thought. |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : past the black layer |
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| 06:34p 17/12/03wed |
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If you ever had to step into my life, you'd see it wasn't so simple. I've done so much without regret or remorse. I don't feel much, people have that aspect of me right in some regards. But I do feel, and more then people think I could. How could someone have any kind of heart that has walked in the steps of darkness and doubt for so long? It's easy, you let someone get close to you and they get their hands on your heart. You are so easily shaken by them because it's the first time such a feeling has over taken you. You don't know how to react, you don't know how to remove it. And they love to squeeze their fingers around you so tight, making you drop to knees and hold your chest as you spill those tears. My heart is bruised and crumbled. Bleeding it's affection into other organs and spreading the infestation. You wish you could tear it out and set it on the shelf. Some place out of reach of the others. Some place safe so you didn't have to feel the attachments. But, as you know, it's impossible. You learn to bite your tongue and hold back these things. For fear of the others reactions. Scared it will change things. So you go on, with their fingers clenched to your heart. You can't show how they make you feel. You can't show the joy in just hearing their voice, or the pain you feel from them yelling. The night is your only listener. The silence your only true friend. I am ashamed of myself for letting my feelings get the best of me. There never are happy endings. I just go through the days pretending to be unmoved so no one can know my weakness. No one will know my secret. No one will, when I am alone and the darkness is the only shoulder I can cry on. |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : blank picture |
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| 11:26p 30/11/03sun |
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i'm fighting with every last breath. i am crying with every missed kiss. i can't help but take every word you say to heart, 'cause it is all we have. i stand alone while watching couples do the simplest things. taking for granted what i'd give anything to have. take my hope, take my life. 'cause i am dying anyway, without my love and without my heart. the sweet nothings i wish for eat at me from the insides. no one can live in memories. memories fade with time, leaving behind a blank picture. i sit here waiting for someone that's so far away. the one that holds my heart to return to me. but time passes on and i am still alone. left to myself with my faded memories. |
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2 holes bleeding \\ |
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| : tears behind the mask |
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| 01:41a 30/11/03sun |
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such a pretty smile i wear for you
never allowed to see behind the mask
my heart is chained to you now
and in this distance it's been torn out
i hide my disloyal thoughts so you'll never know
i hide my tears from you with shame in my eyes
i never want anyone to hurt you, including me
but what's best for you seems to be worse for me
as you feel strong with hope on your side
i am the dove in a cage, never allowed to fly
there is no comfort in promises of the future
there is no faith when the world is against us
dare not to lift the mask i made for you
i am only protecting you from myself
lonliness feels like an eternity |
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bleeding \\ |
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| : effect from ripped vocals |
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| 01:31a 02/10/03thu |
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i want to cry but the tears just won't fall. i've suppressed these feelings for so long that it's made me numb. too hallow to smile and too dry to let the tears rain down. many times have i wanted to say something, but i've learned to bite my tongue. i try to speak up but i've grown mute from the lack of speech. now it's been so long since i've shared my feelings that i've forgotten what it was like. but do i want to remember the sorrow? it's what has brought about this part of me. the confusion is settling over how i should feel. playing tug-a-war on the notion of what to feel. my heart's strings the rope for this simple game that has turned fatal. |
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3 holes bleeding \\ |
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| : bury to forget |
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| 01:24a 02/10/03thu |
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do you know who you are still? can you recognize yourself in the mirror? the person i knew left and another took over. careless and insensitive, deprived of the acceptance of others; you aren't who i was falling for. i remember when you use to call me everyday and tell me you've missed me. now you hardly even want to talk and it's been so long since you told me i was on your mind that day. so little was what i wanted from you, but it was too much to ask for. you got too busy for the one you 'cared' for. too busy that you flew past her and never saw the tears in her eyes. you left her alone while you stormed the world. so much sadness that she had to bury it for the sake of her heart, and with the funeral of her emotions she buried the thought of you. i feel so empty. |
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bleeding \\ |
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