Love thy father   
06:57am 17/03/2003
mood: back hurts
music: DJ Shadow - What does your soul look like
I received an email from my father today, the first time I've heard from him in several months now. This is actually pretty frequent as far as our communication goes. It has not been uncommon in our past to go years without speaking to eachother. This doesn't come from the fact that I hate him, or think he's an alchoholic who is ruining my half brothers life. The fact is that we are both too busy with our own lives to worry about eachother.

When I was a child, my father never had time for me. Indeed his life revolved around the business of being rich and getting richer, and not his family. This was until I became a teenager, and after ruining his business and becoming ill he realized family was important. Not more important then getting drunk every day, and spending money on his leeching friends mind you. Nevertheless, as I grew older he tried to become more involved in my life. This typically would manifest in preaching to me on life while he was drunk, and of course suppling me with alchohol. (Having a father in the alchohol industry can be a plus at times.)

At anyrate, his loyalties of course always remained with his leeching friends and our "family outings" usully involved going to a bar of somesort. When I was a young teen, I didnt really mind I suppose. I wanted a father in my life and was tired of the sick feeling of disgust I got around friends who had a father. However as I got older, I grew away from him. Why treat him any better then his leeching friends? It became apparent that proclaiming love for his family was only a charade to impress his army of leeches. By the time I was 19, I ignored my fathers calls and pretended he didnt exist.

So here we are, several years later. The occasional uncomfortable email that neither of us feel like writing. Sure, I still find a way to call around Christmas time. So do the leeches. Do I feel guilty? No. If he wanted a loving son, he should have called the countless times he was "on his way" to pick me up, but never came as I spent endless hours waiting. He shouldn't have missed all those baseball games I played in as a kid, and he should have remembered that my birthday is in December, not November, and that I'm right handed and not left handed and that just because I'm italian, buying me gold jewlery at the age of 10 does not guaruntee love.

Then again, who am I to want to have gone to the beach, camping, a park or go see a movie. He always found time to take me to bars, and give me quarters for pool while he sat around getting drunk. Ohh wait a minute, no he didnt. See above on waiting endless hours waiting after "I'm on my way". Only 9 months until Christmas so Fuck him.
42 Reasons   
12:54pm 17/03/2003
mood: amused
music: PPK - 21 Century
I'm bored... really bored. I received a new magazine in the mail today called Gamestate. It appears to be the first issue of a new game developer industry magazine. It's rather nice that because of past work, I no longer have to pay for these types of subscriptions.

At any rate, I've been bored. So I've decided to compile a list of reasons of why I should be dated by females of the human species. You didn't believe me when I said I was bored did you? Hmm 1pm... definatly past my bedtime.

1. If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
2. I give good back rubs.
3. I'm a good listener.
4. It's more fun than hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
5. I have my own razor (actually 3).
6. I have never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge.
7. I have no communicable diseases.
8. You might actually enjoy it.
9. I am persistent.
10. As of yet, I have never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing.
11. I can usually eat spaghetti without getting sauce on my shirt.
12. I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
13. I only tie women up and spank them when they ask me to.
14. I can, at the touch of a button, have a pizza delivered to me in 30 minutes or less.
15. I give foot rubs when asked.
16. I have never locked myself in a car.
17. I am an accomplished TV-avoider.
18. I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects.
19. I feel that reading a good book is an excellent way to spend time.
20. I change my toothbrush when the blue color-bristles go away.
21. I feel that a relationship can exist without sex if it needs to.
22. I'm not *that* much of an eyesore.
23. I take a bath at least once a day.
24. I have not been proven to cause holes in the ozone Layer.
25. I'm housebroken.
26. I have never hit a silver-medallist in the knee with a club.
27. I am usually able to find Waldo.
28. I am heterosexual.
29. I have never committed a violent crime.
30. My teddy bear wants to meet you.
31. I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix.
32. Nobody can heat up a TV dinner better than I can.
33. I don't use "pet names" for body parts.
34. There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately.
35. I promise to spend very little of our time together staring at other women.
36. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
37. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
38. I'll supply the chocolate chip cookies.
39. I have gotten to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop without biting.
40. I'm no worse than most other men, and maybe better than some.
41. It would make me smile.
42. It might make her smile too.
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