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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
9:48 pm - Bye 2005-lets get our kicks in '06
I am so happy. Another year has passed. I have a wonderful boyfriend...a loving little girl and another one on the way. I am so thrilled. I just wish I could stay home and take care of things instead of having to go to work. I mean, I am also blessed to have my job at M&T. It's been 11 months and counting with it and it is way better than any job I have ever had. So, to all of you out there, I just hope this new year brings you happiness like it has brought to me. Adam and I have been through so much and have overcome a lot of stuff. I am lucky to have him. I just hope he feels the same way about me. *sigh* I just hope things work out in the end. There are a lot of things that are going to happen to change our lives drastically between now and 2007. I am ready for them. I just pray that Gpd watches over all of us and keeps us in his light because He knows how much I need him...how much we need him. I am ready for them... I am ready as long as he keeps watch over us. :) As long as Adam can be strong and as long as Eme can not become too jelous of her new sibling, wether girl or boy. I am ready to take all of it head on. But I need some encouragment...some strength...some money (that never hurts) :P And lots of love from the people who mean the most to me. My Eme, My Adrock, and my lil' Gaetano on the way. I love you guys more than my own life. *hugs and kisses* to you
Your mami
Amy

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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
10:59 pm - I hate the night...
Sleepless in Niagara... screw Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. I'm sleepless in Niagara. What the hell. Nights are getting longer and tougher on me. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I need someone to talk to on these kind of nights. Kind of hard when Eme is with her dad and Adam is sleeping. I cant tell anyone but God how I feel. I don't want to be condemned for crying. I feel like thats all I want to do. WHY??? I hate myself. I hate myself and I put on a good act infront of others. Is anyone out there to hear me? Is anyone out there to make me feel ok for wanting to cry all the damn fricken time? Is anything going to make this easier. I pray and pray...Lord, I know you hear me. I know you do. I am just so confused. What the hell did I do? I am depressed. Any fool who reads this knows. I know. For God sake, someone take care of me, I am too weak to take care of everyone else. It's all I do. I take care of everything. I just want someone to take care of ME! I am so tired...my soul is tired and it needs a nap. Someone take care of me so I can rest for a little while. The days pass by so quickly- I feel like I do a million things and still have nothing accomplished.

So...what do I have to look foward to? I did 7 loads of laundry tonight after calling into work because I fell down the icy stairs (and I am going to get written up for it- so piss off Perkins!!!)
I had no help bringing all the bags into the house.
I got pissed off- and I bit my tounge.
I laid down...no rubs for me.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SUCH A DAMN LOSER???
I am at the point where I want to go to the ER for exhaustion. I think I have it. I need to sleep. I need to rest...mentally and physically. I want to be 100% for Emily's sake.

Someone help me
Someone take care of ME for once.
I can't do it alone!
Help me, please.

Amy

current mood: depressed

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Monday, February 14th, 2005
5:50 pm - Happy Valentines Day
So it's Feburary 14th...happy Valentines day to all of you guys and gals out there reading this...

I picked up Eme from her dad this morning and took her out for breakfast. She was a little piggy. She ate soooooooo much. LOL She ate her pancakes, her bacon, my toast, sausage, some of my potatos, and my orange juice. She's so funny.

Took her home. Gave her her presents. Got Adam up. Gave him his presents. He got me a Tinkerbell pendant, and a ruby heart necklace. I love it.

Went to the mall to spend Adam's present I got him...couldn't find anything he liked. We'll try again soon.

Cooper showed up. I know I shouldn't be irritated. He's a nice guy- but c'mon it's Valentines Day. I was hoping to just have a nice quiet sit down dinner with Adam out somewhere. What the hell.

Grr I am mad at myself for being mad @ him...

What the FU**

Amy

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Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
11:28 pm - The puzzle...
I used to feel sorry for those people who acted like they were 100% and then when alone, they cry... until I became one of them.

Lately...night time is a bad time for me. I don't sleep well. I have vivid dreams that make me panicky.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Don't ask why:

I laid down next to Adam...and I was happy and laughing before bed. But I turned out the light and laid in the silence- something took over me. All I could do was cry. I told Adam I was getting up for some pills (which I did)
and now I am pouring my heart out in this blurty.

It's hard having these feelings...
It's hard to have to cry and not exactly know why...
It KILLS me...
I just wanna be held right now...
I just wanna be told it'll be alright...
I just need a bit of patience...
I need to be the one taken care of today...
I need someone to hug me and tell me everything is gonna be alright no matter what...
I just need to cry sometimes and not be asked why...
I am so sorry that I am not perfect... I feel so bad for crying for no reason...just try to understand...


Why? I wish I knew the answer. Maybe you can tell me.

Right now I am sitting here talking to Kyle-Lynn asking for advice. She's a help. (Luv u gurl)

KyleLynn84 [11:55 P.M.]: you are so cute
SpiderGirl5283 [11:55 P.M.]: I wish
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: you are
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: you are one of the most genuine thoughtfull people I know
SpiderGirl5283 [11:56 P.M.]: thank you so much
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: I dont tell lies
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: :-)
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: except to customers at perkins, like, the fish is good
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: shit, I dont know
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: I cant eat it
KyleLynn84 [11:56 P.M.]: but I will sure sell the bajesus out of it

KyleLynn84 [11:59 P.M.]: remember how special and awsome you are
KyleLynn84 [11:59 P.M.]: k?

I am happy- I know I am...but why do I feel so bad about myself?

It'll be ok. I just hope these tears go away...

current mood: confused

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Sunday, February 6th, 2005
12:29 am - A letter to my Adam...
Adam,
From the moment I laid eyes on you 5 years ago, I knew something special was inside of you. I knew it then, I knew it when we were apart because I worried and wondered about you everytime I was reminded of you (The Rock, B.K., etc...) and I knew it the day I finally found you (June 11th @ Party Time which I will never forget!) Adam Gaetano is one-of-a-kind, pure of heart, caring, loving, the most wonderful generous person I could and ever will know. It is obvious. It's in your big brown eyes...

Why am I writing you this? Why am I going into all these wonderful things about you? Why do I remind you?

Honey, I never want you to be discouraged. I want you to know that everyone has your back. It is obvious! Listen to what everyone says about you @ work. How everyone knows you deserve the chance you have been waiting so patiently for. You have given B.K. 10 years of your life. You are a star worker. You bust your balls everyday you work. You deserve this chance. Everyone knows it...everyone is behind you, my love.

You only deserve the best in life. No matter what happens, I never want you to lose the light that shines in your eyes. That sparkle and smile is what keeps me going every day. You have brought so many things out of me that I never would have the courage to say/do/feel if I was without you. You truly bring out the best in me. You are true to yourself. That is what I love about you!!! You are the same around everyone. You are not Jekyl & Hyde...you aren't one way infront of me, and another around your friends, your parents, etc... you are you... 24/7. You are genuine. You are pure...

I never want you to feel like you are a loser. You are the farthest thing from it. I am putting this in writing so that you can read it anytime you feel like giving up on things. I want you to see how I feel about you when I am not around...if I am at work or at the store- and you just need a smile- I want you to pull this up and see how much I love you. I want you to know that it will never change. You are smart, funny, loving...just all around my Adrock- who I love and adore.

Don't you EVER forget it.

I love you so much!


XOXOXO
Your Sexy

PS...

Kelly Clarkson...
...You found me
When no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be
Yeah you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me...

current mood: determined

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Saturday, February 5th, 2005
1:52 pm - Blah
LOL- BLAH! I hate that word- but it sums up how I feel about going to work this afternoon.

Not too much exciting to write about. I just thought I'd share my dis-like of work and my love for Adam and Emily! LOL

Talk to you all later.

Amy

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Friday, February 4th, 2005
12:15 am - Stuff to just make you laugh...
Sometimes, I just need to read something funny. So- for you all now, my new favorite comic Mitch Hedberg...some quotes... ENJOY!


I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible...

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave too."

Why are there no during pictures.


I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

I had a velco wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.

I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.

I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth.

The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."

My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.

On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill...

...and then at the end of the letter I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree

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Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
11:48 pm - "Endings are just new beginings..."
I read that on a church sign. I don't remember what it's called- but I know it's on the way from Adam's to Pine Plaza! LOL "Endings are just new beginings." That sums up my week.

I went on an interview for M&T Bank to be a bank teller. I was so nervous. But they called and I got the job. Almost $2 more an hour and my hours are guarenteed. Unlike Perkins where I had no restrictions on my availibility but they'd only give me 20 hours and 1 day off a week (go figure). SO HA HA PERKINS! You had the chance to let me work whenever and you took advantage of me. So- now I only work 2-3 days a week closing. HA! *HAPPY DANCE FOR ME* (Right, Kyle-Lynn?)

That must have took the stress off of me. I have been under so much stress the past 2 weeks- I thought I might be havin Emily a little brother or sister! But to much relief, my Aunt Flow has come to visit for a few days and all is well. She told me I won't be a mom again for at least another month. *Whew* *SIDE NOTE* Not that I don't want to make Adam a proud father- but not this soon...we need a house first...

Anyway...bed is calling my name. Or is that Adam saying he needs a hug? I don't know but I better check. I love being in love!

Talk toyou all in the AM!

Amy

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all, I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.      
~ Mitch Hedberg

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Monday, January 31st, 2005
8:49 pm - Isn't it weird???
Well, I don't know how, but I am more tired from 6 hours of playing with Emily and cooking dinner than I am from 9 1/2 hours of work @ Perkins. Believe me, I would rather be exhausted from taking care of Eme and Adam than working all day long any day! LOL

Today was all right. Woke up 45 minutes before work. Got ready, went, got there, and sighed in dissapointment when the first person I saw when I walked in was Phillip- you know, the guy who signs my paycheck. He was pissed. Perkins isn't exactly the best place in the world. Believe me, I will be the first to admit that. But all the employees (with the exception of a small handful) don't do jack sh** for the place. It was no wonder why he left in a bad mood.

Most of our customers left in a bad mood today as well seeing that because the minimum wage raise- our menu prices have soared. I dont know why but my GM likes to word it as "We got new menus." and leaves it at that. All I know is, you wont see me in there anymore bringing Emily to lunch unless its kids nite. Would YOU pay $5.49 for a kids pizza and fries?! I know I wouldn't.

Well, went to Kenmore to pick Emily up from work at 2:30. Got home around 3. Cooked steak dinner again.

Adams doing better. I am so happy. He's tired- but he's not sick anymore.

OOH. Last night was the WWE Royal Rumble! LOL I'm such a tomboy. I am elated that BATISTA won! JBL should jump off a bridge...Edge is a retard...Triple H needs to take a perminent vacation...I want LITA to get better...miss Eugene...Need more female wrestlers and less DIVAS- YOU SUCK CHRISTY!... Teddy Long...HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA!!!--- I'll continue this later...

Monday night RAW just started, so I gotta go folks! LOL TTYL

Amy

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Saturday, January 29th, 2005
10:34 am - PS...
1. Name: Amy Marie Poulsen-Errington

2. Nicknames: Shorty, La Roja Pequena, Wifey, Ames

3. Favorite word/phrase: "THA'S NOT COOL" <---Carlito

4. Hometown: Born in North Tonawanda, but a Niagara Falls girl, now...

5. Current Residence: Lasalle/Niagara Falls

6. Croutons or Bacon bits? Croutons

7. Favorite salad dressing: Ranch

8. Shampoo or conditioner? um, both!

9. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yeah, and it's a freeing experience!

10. Do you make fun of people? I have to...to keep up with Adam!

11. Favorite color: RED- the color of passion...

12. Have you ever been convicted of a crime: No

13. One pillow or two, cotton or feathers? 2 and cotton, if you must know

14.What kind of car you own? Well, I OWN a 2003 Monte Carlo SS, lol j/k

15. Favorite Music: Well, I listen to a little of everything, but I love Kelly Clarkson!

16. Hobbies: Kareoke! LOL What else...*thinks* annoying the shit out of people...WWE
Mon. Night RAW... If I think of anything else, I'll name it later...

17. Toothpaste: Crest Whitning

18. Favorite Flower: Roses (cause I'm the Rosebud)

19. Do you get along with your parents? HA HA HA!!! You were kidding, right?

20. Favorite town to chill in: MY OWN

21. Favorite ice cream flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

22. Favorite drink (non-alcoholic): Diet Pepsi

23. Adidas, Nike, or Reebok?: If you asked me in high school, Nike, but now- Adidas

24. Favorite perfume/cologne: I love Tommy & CK1 cause my baby smells so good-
but for me, Adidas

25. Favorite Website(s):
All your base are belong to us
We Like The Moon Spongmonkeys
Super Mario Brothers 3

26. Favorite subject in school: Swing Choir/Sex Ed LOL

27. Least favorite subject in school: MATH

28. Favorite alcoholic drink: NOTHING NOW! I vow never to drink again... not after the
nice BK function...(I am so sorry, baby!)

29. Favorite sport to watch: BASEBALL

30. Most Humiliating moment: YOU THINK I'M GONNA TELL YOU THAT!? LOL
Well, ok- it had to be when I was little and I had an accident in pre-school and my teacher made me feel like the biggest ass-hole! (c'mon, I was 4years old!!!)

31. Craziest or silliest idea: GETTING MARRIED to my ex

32. What do you look for in a romantic interest? (I'm not looking now) but the one I
have is funny, sweet, loves life and knows how to smile and laugh at things- and isn't an uptight asshole like I'm used to! (right, baby?)

33. Say one nice thing about the person who sent you this email. Well, I really dont remember who sent this to me because it's been sitting in my mail waiting to be sent so long- LOL so, I guess you all can just fill this one in for me!!!

34. The person you sent this to, that is least likely to respond: I dont know honestly!

35: Any Tattoos? Where? 3! Spiderman, roses on my back and a single rose on my ankle

36. How many peircings? belly, 3 in right ear, 2 in left

37. Spiderman or Superman? DUH! SPIDERMAN

38. Favorite Comedian? Anyone from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour!

39. Favorite TV Show? Viva La Bam

40. Favorite Movie? too many to list

41. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate

42. Biggest Fantasy? Muhaa haa haa...

43. If you were stranded on a desert island, who would be the one person you would be stuck with? Um, I dont honestly know...I think I could use some peace and quiet

44. WHAT ARE YOU READING? LITA'S Autobiography

45. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dell logo

46. YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? checkers

47. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? Rolling Stones and Wizard

48. BABIES? Got my Emily (and do you count my big baby, Adam?)

49. salty or crispy fried? HUH?

50. FAVOURITE SOUND? I have a few...listening to Adam breathe on a quiet night sleep
and I lie awake thinking about how lucky I am to have him...Hearing Emily laugh and say "OPEEEEEEEN" and the sound of silence after a rough day @ work.

51. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Being lonely

52. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? GOTTA PEE!!!

53. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Enough to see who is
calling on the ID

54. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? the FUTURE children... Boy: Vincent
Girl: Angela Dawn

55. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Loving and being loved...some of the
richest people in the world aren't happy because they only have money- but no love.

56. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I can and I do and it is french horn and trumpet

57. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I don't like to drive too much

58. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? How about a stuffed Spiderman???

59. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1992 Ford Tempo Navy Blue (Thank God someone crushed it!)

60. WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? Kimmy (R.I.P.)

61. Laughing AT you or laughing WITH you? Who thinks of this stuff???

62. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? A whole lotta shit

63. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? yes

64. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? a famous
singer- or a nurse

65. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Adam because he is really busy...

66. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes! and love is a great thing!!!

67. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? depends on the day- but I usually say half full

68. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? yea

69. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? again, as I said the trunk of my car...a whole lotta shit

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? I dunno- but if I have to pick- 7

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Didn't you already ask this question???

72. ??? Um, OK???

73. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? In the falls where I live now

74. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Why do we care about this shit???

75. BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? City

76. TECHNOLOGY OR ART? Art

77. COMEDY OR HORROR? Comedy

78. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Depends on who it is... I am not set on one feature- I am not a whore

79. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? night

80. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Um, Britney Spears My Perogitive

81. WHERE'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE? in Adam's arms

82. FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? *Tee hee hee*

83. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind

84. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Whatever time my Eme comes in and says "Mommy! Mommy! Up!!! *giggles*"

85. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yes

86. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Spring (I was a spring baby)

87. YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I would love to be able to fly

88. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? HAMBURGER!!!

89. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? Spiderman, and roses

90. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? any day where I don't work

91. OF THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

92. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Compiled from a few friends of mine...

93. FAVOURITE CARTOON? Family Guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? Anyone where I dont have to do the dishes

95. PETS? Only my Adrock's Shadow...

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10:34 am - Food for thought...
As I sit here eating my Take 5 chocolate bar, thinking about how much I love Adam (because I nursed him back to health all night long), I think about my life and say "all is well". I felt so helpless watching him run weakly to the bathroom and back trying to get it all out of his system. I know how it feels to throw up. It's not fun at all and I SHOULD know- I was the queen of morning sickness! :) (Not that I am proud of that in any means...) But I commend my Adrock. He is a fighter and he (in the midst of his icky-ness if that's a word?) still managed to remind me that I am loved...I shall say no more about that...you know baby and that's all that matters ;)

Oh- and I just want to take a moment of my time and thank a few people...

The BK managment crew- you guys take care of each other! I know no other place/job that would go out of the way to re-arrange schedules @ 1am to take care of one of their guys (Rob, Matt, & Sam). You guys are awesome! Brownies and So-Co all around! (Well, brownies at least!) I'm jelous...I wish my job could be like that! Thank you guys for helping me take care of my baby!

I really have not much to say right now and I don't even know why I am writing this because my lack of sleep has taken over me and I prob. won't remember any of this until I go to sleep and wake up at 7pm (because I am going to call into work in about 3 minutes or whenever I am done babbling...) PS- Don't tell but I am also going to see Mitch Hedgberg tonight *SHH* LOL I'll be back on later I am sure of it to tell you all about that!!!

XOXO I must be off to take care of my baby some more! Peace out!

(Oh, and to my Adrock...)

...You found me
When no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be
Yeah you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me...

Amy

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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
6:40 pm - Never a dull moment...
My alarm clock (Emily) got me up at 6:30am. It is now 6:41pm...and I am beat. I don't know about any of you other moms out there but after that kind of day, aren't you ready for bed after 12 hours?! LOL So, she's with her dad and I have sifted enough energy to write to you all about today! (which means I really have nothing else better to do because Adam is practicing The Punisher game and I am going to go take a bath in a minute! LOL)

Made breakfast- nothing exciting. Bacon, eggs, toast (burnt myself 3 times with grease! YAY). I love to cook. Not for myself- but for other people. Eme and Adam luck out on that! :) LOL (I love you guys).
Expected my mother to call me about 12 times by 10am- but still not a call. (I rejoiced). Eme played for a while.

Kyle Lynn called me. Gurl- don't do anything in life for anyone but yourself! Just follow your heart. Don't ever compromise. I did- and I ended up married and divorced! *HUGS*

Went to BK and got lunch with Adam and Em. Paid a few bills. Got his taxes done.

Made a steak dinner for my babies...

All and all it was a productive day.

Never a dull moment? LOL You be the judge. I just told you all what I did today. (ROFLMAO)

(Maybe I'll go to Honeys for Kareoke tonight...then I can write about it j/k)

Til We Meet Again...

Amy

"Ain't I A Stinker???!!!" Bugs Bunny

current mood: creative

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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
8:19 pm - It's Been 1 Month Since Christmas...
Have you stopped and thought about this...it's been one month since Christmas! WOW Already 2005 is coming in full speed ahead. It makes me wonder about the "good old days" when you and I were 4, 5, 6 years old and each day felt as if it lasted FOREVER! Remember those days? When waking up at the crack of dawn was a must to be the first kid on the block outside on your bike waking up the neighbors screaming can so-and-so come out and play??? I wish life was as simple at 21 as it was at 5.

*sigh* Well folks, it's not. Oh- wait a second, forgive me for my pessimissim (and forgive me for using a word that I don't know if it even exists or not!) LOL "Sad But True" (Metallica says it best) that life is more complicated as adults. Bills to pay, school, work, worrying about if you have enough money for rent or groceries and having to sometimes make a choice between the two. Or better yet, stealing food from work (which I am SURE everyone who has worked at a restraunt has done at one time or another).

So, I wake up each day, go to my job at the lovely Perkins Restraunt dealing with customers who on the whole are ok...but you get those few who just get under your skin- you all know what I'm talking about. Those 'older folks' who are never happy with anything you do. ('YOU' being anyone who tries to help). So you offer to get the manager because people don't realize I can't do a darn thing about their burnt steak or their crummy fries. (Am I right, Kyle Lynn? LOL)

I go home to a wonderful man. My Adrock. (Adam) He has helped me grow as a person. I've known him since I was 16. (I'll tell that story later- anyway) There isn't anyone who I would enjoy being slapped on the ass by! LOL
All and all he makes me happy. He's come a long way in the five years we've been apart. I wish I could be more perfect for him- but nobody is perfect...right?

My baby girl Emily sure keeps me on my toes. I remember praying to God for the day she could walk. I was blessed. She crawled at 6 months and walked by 9 months. I was in heaven...until she realized that she could make mommy a nice song out of the pots and pans out of the bottom cabnits and tried to make a smoothie out of window cleaner (had to put on the baby locks REAL quick). A wise person once said "A mothers' work is never done." It couldn't be more true.

Now, being divorced- it's not something I'm proud to say. I don't like saying "Yeah, I'm divorced" It's bitter on my tounge. Almost like telling everyone "Yeah, I couldn't keep my marriage together- I'm a big loser...a failure!" Thats when I remind myself that I just should have never gotten married in the first place. I did for all the wrong reasons. I did because I was pregnant. (Back in the 50's) it was the right thing to do- but I'm just glad I survived.

I am happy. I am alive. I am strong. I am a woman. I'm a mom. I'm a girlfriend.

But don't you all forget this... I (like all of you) am human.

Remember this...

It's OK to be different
It's OK to make mistakes
It's OK to be flamboyent
It's OK to cry
It's OK to show emotion
It's OK to care
It's OK to be open
It's OK to want to live

Until next time...
Same Bat Time
Same Bat Channel

LOL *Wink* XOXO Amy

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