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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
Precious Suicide's Blurty:
| Monday, November 22nd, 2004 | |
| 9:18 pm | OMFG PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAKTHRU I was talking to Gabe and all of a sudden during the convo we were talking bout shit and he helped me realize that my depression and those kinds of probs. started with Conner....it all started with Conner...the fucking asshole. I'm like so omg yay!! breakthru....only speeds up my way to recovery! Its like after wat he did to me the scars and bruises (emotional psychological kind) stayed...even when the real ones like left the bastard left his mark. and it grew and grew and then the shit with the 'rents happened and that made it grow and grow and grow and then the shit with Pablo the bastardo and it grew and then brad and then it like grew more and more and then yea.....its slowly fading and now i think it might fade a little faster now that i kno the root of the problem. i kno that all these ppl and this crap will prob. never like finally go away like a trace will be left but it wont hurt as much and it'll all be good right? can u believe ive never traced it back to Conner i always just blamed my parents when it fact it was conner...well it was everythng but he started it!!! hahaha!!! i feel so much better that this is like yea...i think i should like relive this like regress or something like try to remember everything from the moment i met conner til now and i bet i'll get better sooner and then i can be all happy....tru the process with prob. not be a happy one but i'll be better when it ends right? and i can write in my notebook like wat happened and wat i feel and everything and then i'll kno and i'll be like omg and then when i get to now i'll kno everythign that ive tried to block out right and then i'll kno and i'll be like...i feel like a weight is lifted right? should i do this? am i leading myself to more pain? (god i sound like one of those anouncer ppl that r like prepping for the next episode so i'll just end like that) Find out next time on "Laura's life Sucks" (or help me find the answers to these questions by responding bitches) Current Mood:  bouncyCurrent Music: breakdown |
| Saturday, November 13th, 2004 | |
| 10:18 pm | hm....interesting....a bit encouraging too...lol  F:
What Path Do You Take In Life? [X]For Guys and Gals! Pics and Lengthy Results.[X] brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: silence as i wait for elephant to start |
| Thursday, November 4th, 2004 | |
| 9:54 pm | I havent felt like this since i stopped cutting...its like an itch....that wont go away.......i want to drink...i want to real bad.....and its like if i dont drink i have to cut and i want to do that too.....but i havent.....ive had my rubber band in action for a while......today i was sick so i didnt go to school....i spent some time sleeping and the time that i spend awake i was feeling sucky cuz i was thinking which is sucky.......and then i like knew that ppl were like not in the kitchen cuz they were outside and that if i had one little drink it wouldnt hurt anybody....of course i hadnt discussed this with anyone.....then eventually my mom came and i was glad cuz then i wouldnt go to the kitchen so that i wouldnt have to tell her wat i was getting....so yea....go mom with her good timing....and its really messed up cuz i cant drink cuz juan will leave me.....i cant cut....cuz juan will leave me.....and that just cant happen....so im here like....pulling the rubber band constantly and yea..... life is a sucky pile of cow dung....i gotta keep trying.........i can make it!!!......i need to talk to diane......or juan.........im talking to gabe (look ur here)and hes helping but i just need diane to be the other cup on my wonder bra or juan to help me hook it up......lmao...that was stupid.....i cant just talk to 1 person.....i need more.....im too fucked up to just talk to 1 person.....i need at least 2....lol......but watev...gabe is helping so its o.k....later guyz cuz my chest is hurting again and yea...bye Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: emotionless |
| Thursday, October 28th, 2004 | |
| 4:48 pm | by the way...i updated before this survey.... 001. ] Name: Laura .002. ] Gender: female .003. ] Age: 14 .004. ] Birthday: january 14, 1990 .005. ] Height: 5'5 .006. ] Hair color: brown….I AM NOT TURNING BLONDE ANYMORE!!!....at least I hope not…… .007. ] Eye color: brown but currently grey .008. ] Race: hispanic .009. ] Is your hair long or short: medium…now….lol… .010. ] Kerry or bush?: do u think im stupid??? Well maybe sometimes but im not that stupid…of course kerry….wat do u think I am??? Crazy??? I have to live in this fucking country…vote kerry .011. ] Zodiac sign: capricorn .012. ] How many languages do you know: english and spanish... learning French all by my lonesome tho…lol… .013. ] Nationality: Cuba representn’….lol..j/k…but really…I am from cuba .014. ] Piercings you have: none…. .015. ] Piercings you want: eyebrow, tongue, belly, industrial, all down the cartlidge of my ear….i think that’s it…lol…. .016. ] Tattoos you have: none .017. ] Tattoos you want: hm….there are sooo many…..lol….something cute, something meaningful, something cool, and something just for my lover…lol….and of course all the other ones I want which only my friends kno… .018. ] Todays date: october 28 .019. ] The time: 3:32 p.m. currently ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » S C H O O L « .020. ] Are you still in school: unfortunately yes .021. ] Did you drop out: uh….no…im in school… .022. ] Favorite grade:8th …..omg I miss u guys sooo much .023. ] Least favorite grade: 7th too much shit happened…well…some shit happened in 8th but my friends made it all better in no time…but 7th was just sucky .024. ] Favorite teacher: hm….silvia…or borges……..yea…one of them…or both…lol.. .025. ] Least favorite teacher: alvarez from science ::cringe:: .026. ] Favorite subject: cookin!!!! .027. ] Least favorite subject: science .028. ] Do/did you buy lunch or bring it: buy it .029. ] Play any sports on the school's team: ::valley girl voice:: im like totally the captain of like cheerleading and cross country ….duh!!...::normal voice:: if u believed that run into a wall and die…j/k…don’t die…lol…nothing…me+sports/exercise=death… .030. ] Are/were you popular: ::again with valley girl:: of course im like the most totally popular person like ever!!!....::normal voice:: again….hurt urself if believed that……I might be popular…but if I am…I don’t kno of it yet…lol… .031. ] Most humiliating moment: when the security at school heard me singing after school…he said I was good…but still…..scary…lol… ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » F A V O R I T E « .032. ] Number: 6 .033. ] Clothing brand: ….the type that makes clothe that I wear??? .034. ] Shoes: skechers…theyre my trandmark…lool….theyre soo comfy .035. ] Saying: so many so little space….um…I guess one is… “u asked wat was wrong and i smiled n said nothin then i turned around and whispered everything” trying to not do this anymore tho…. .036. ] Tv show: degrassi, one tree hill, daria and passions….or course…. .037. ] Sport: to watch…football…to play…none….lol… .038. ] Vegetable: um…..idk….the food kind???,… .039. ] Fruit: wat type of fruit??? Lool…im gonna pretend u mean eating fruit then its…banana or papaya…I can never choose….lol…get it??? .040. ] Movie: alice in wonderland, Rocky HPS…um…life as a house…Donnie darko…and every other movie I love to death but the list is too long to fit here…lol… .041. ] Magazine: tattoo .042. ] Candy: snickers…..mmm….sugary goodness in my veins…. .043. ] Gum: juicy fruit…lol…again with the fruits .044. ] Scent: hm….idk…maybe toasted marshmallows…it makes me hungry…lol… .045. ] Ice cream flavor: mint chocolate chip .046. ] Color: black, red, and purple .047. ] Season: winter .048. ] Holiday: samhain .049. ] Type of music: metal, rock, alternative, goth .050. ] Thing in your room: bed, tv, my altar and all the things on it .051. ] Bands: marilyn manson, evanescence (the old stuff not the new), taking back Sunday, adema, jimmy eat world, incubus, default, staind, omg the list goes on forever so im gonna stop here…… .052. ] Books: like…those real life diaries ex- go ask alice and annies baby. Muder mysteries….exciting books, or ones with lots of sarcasm…lol…just books….. .053. ] TV channel: food network .054. ] Junk food: white cheddar popcorn or white cheddar cheese balls .055. ] Overall food: spaghetti or pretty much anything Italian (with no meat) .057. ] Fast food: taco….bk….um…..yea…. .058. ] Restaurant: bellantes, macaroni grill, um…..other ones? .059. ] Shape: is a rainbow a shape?? If not then an arc…that has to be a shape right??? .060. ] Time of day: night…duh .061. ] Country: Canada!!!! .062. ] State: any state far away from my family .063. ] Boys name: darian, sean, dominic .064. ] Girls name: Elena, sage, serenity, .065. ] Mall: um…. Dolphin???? .066. ] Car: Toyota…lol…nice and reliable…lmao… .067. ] Word: fruitilicious….u kno y cuz we’re all a little fruitilicious on the inside whether u admit it or not…lol…. .068. ] Month: October and december .069. ] Disney character: ALICE!!!!!!!!!! .070. ] Scary movie: hm…..all scary movies are good…lool….. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » T H I S OR T H A T « .071. ] Rock or rap: rock…. .072. ] Rock or pop: ….rock .073. ] Rock or r&b: rock….god damn it stop asking .074. ] Rap or pop: hm….depends some times pop sometimes rap…. .075. ] Rap or r&b: r&b definately .076. ] Rap or metal: METAL!!!! .077. ] Pop or r&b: r&b…. .078. ] Pop or metal: metal of course .079. ] r&b or metal: metal…. .080. ] Selena or J.lo: how can u compare the beautiful and extremely talented selena to that piece of trash j.ho??? .081. ] Hot or cold: cold… .082. ] Winter or summer: winter… .083. ] Spring or fall: fall….things fall…. .084. ] Shakira or Britney: shakira…she can shake wat her mama gave her…lol… .085. ] MTV or VH1: vh1 .086. ] Football or basketball: football .087. ] Skiing or snowboarding: snowboarding…. .088. ] Rollerblading or skateboarding: skateboarding…. .089. ] Black or white: black….. .090. ] Orange or red: red…. .091. ] Yellow or green: green… .092. ] purple or pink: purple… .093. ] Inside or outside: outside…. .094. ] Weed or alcohol: distructive question but of course my answer is alcohol….but im quitting!!! But still…alcohol…. .095. ] Cell phone or pager: celly… .096. ] Powerpuff Girls or Charlie's Angels: charlie's angels...they have the hottinessy .097. ] Scooby doo or dino: dino is sooo adorable…but so is Scooby…but Scooby gets annoying…so dino…. .098. ] Tattoos or piercinqs: both….lol…. .099. ] Coke or pepsi: pepsi .100. ] Flowers or candy: flowers…theyre soo beautiful… .101. ] Tall or short: hm….um…both???? ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » H A V E / W O U L D Y O U E V E R . . « .102. ] Pictured your crush naked?: yes .103. ] Actually seen your crush naked: yes .104. ] Been in love: yes…..lol…..if I say no..i lie….i lie big time….. .105. ] Cried when someone died: prefer not to think about it but yes… .106. ] Drank alcohol:….i do have the right to remain silent but everyone knos this answer is yes…. .107. ] Lied: duh…im human .108. ] Eat crap for $1,000,000: would i?? it’s a million dollars….y the fuck not… .109. ] Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: never ever everest .110. ] Lie to the police: yes…have done it…. .111. ] Run from the police: yuppers…I would…. .112. ] Lie to your parents: hahaha stupid question…….. .113. ] Walk up to a stranger and kiss them: if I was single…and they were beyond hotness…then yea….but im not and neither are they so no…lol… .114. ] Walk out of a restaurant without paying: yes I have….lol… .115. ] Flashed someone: nostalgia….sweet sweet memories…lol….j/k but yea I have… .116. ] Told the person you liked how you felt: yes…many times…most memorable tho was the 8 pg. letter…lol… .117. ] Gone to jail or juvi: nope .118. ] Stolen anything: uh huh…lool…nothing big tho… .119. ] Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: no it gives me something to do and I like question surveyey thingys .120. ] Kicked someone's ass: yup…even litteraly..lol… .121. ] Broke a beer bottle: yup .122. ] Gotten into a bar, under-aged: technically but it was like a pub billiard hall thing and I was with my brother so im not sure if that counts…but yea…. .123. ] Kissed someone of the same sex: hello??? Wake up…of course I have… .124. ] Gone on a road trip: many… .125. ] Gone on vacation without adult supervision: nope…. .126. ] Been to a concert: yes…Spanish concerts…but a concert nonetheless.lool… .127. ] Been to another country: cuba…yup…just cuba…. .128. ] Talked back to an adult: duh…. .129. ] Got pulled over: I don’t drive but my parents have…lol… .130. ] Got in a car accident: my parents have… .131. ] Broke a law:….hm…. probably…lol…well yea…actually…many….lol….(this cannot be used against me in a court of law) .132. ] Given money to a homeless person: idts…. .134. ] Tried to kill yourself: :ahem:…um…next question…….(the answer is yes…there u happy???) .135. ] Cried to get out of trouble: hell ya!!! It works best…. .136. ] Kissed a friend's brother or sister: cheek kiss .137. ] Kissed a brother or sister's friend: cheek kiss... lmao .138. ] Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: lmao…um….does it count if I eat it??? Cuz yea..idc and I eat it anyways…lol… ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » Y E S OR N O « .195. ] Are you a vegetarian: yuppers .196. ] Do you like cows: hell ya .197. ] Are you a bitch: I was but not anymore…hopefully…. .198. ] Are you artistic: sorta .199. ] Do you write poetry: y yes I do…lol… .200. ] Are you a fast runner: I do o.k… .201. ] Can you ski: no .202. ] Are you British: um….no….lol… .203. ] Are you straight: hahahahaha lmfao…:laughs hysterically and falls on floor:next…:laugh:….question…..:still laughing: (1/2 way there tho…lol…) .204. ] Are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: depression….and I believe I am very insane yes…maybe…lol…wats it to u? .205. ] Are you fat: possibly…I believe so… .206. ] Are you short: not really .207. ] Are you tall: depends on the person im next to…lol… .208. ] Do you own a hot pink shirt: ahhhhh!!! Take it away dianey take it away!!! .209. ] How about orange pants?: Wtf? .210. ] Are you evil: if u r to me… .211. ] Is Britney a whore: hm…just a little…. About this much ---------------------------------------- .212. ] Am I annoying you: nope not really .213. ] Are you secretly from another planet: who gave me away? :looks around suspiciously: :ahem: I mean no of course not wat makes u think that…. .214. ] Did you ever touch someone else's private parts: yes……………….. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » P R I V A T E « .139. ] Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: yes I do…juan I love u… .140. ] Do you have a crush: my boyfriend…lool…but don’t tell him…. .141. ] Do you love anyone right now: yes .142. ] Have you ever been in love: yes .143. ] How many people have you kissed: im not gonna answer that……moving along… .144. ] Who was your first kiss: hm…cheek kiss by a guy: this kid andy in day care cheek kiss by a girl: um… someone….lol…. mouth kiss by a guy:….idr…that was a while ago…..mouth kiss by a girl: this girl name Elizabeth in 7th grade (my first g/f :tear:…lol… j/k) .145. ] How many hearts have you broken: I hope none…idk…..maybe Julio…yea probably Julio… .146. ] How many people broke your heart: not to name any names…but practically every person ive ever gone out with….hopefully its different this time…. .147. ] Best quote to sum up love: “Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting that they won't.”.....yea….. .148. ] So what is your bf/gf/crush like: beautiful person inside and out, funny, generous, smart, loving, just himself…and I like that… .149. ] Do you have a picture of him/her: yes I do .150. ] Please post it if you do: um….no…… .151. ] Do you have a picture of yourself: yea…. .152. ] Please post it if you do: uh…no….. .153. ] Do you go by looks or personality: personality…looks don’t hurt…but if the person is great then its worth it…. .154. ] Ever kiss a friend: yea….. .155. ] Are you still friends: yup…. .155. ] If you could marry anybody who would it be: right now,….juan…. .156. ] So moving along . . . do you smoke: fuck no…. .157. ] Do you smoke weed: no…. .158. ] Crack, heroin, anything else: never…especially not after wat brad did .159. ] Beer good or beer bad: beer o.k...... .160. ] Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: fuck u…its alcohol and it taste nice…I wouldn’t mind real alcohol but wine coolers will suffice... .161. ] Do you like smirnoff ice: yea… .162. ] Prefer beer or liquor: liquor... .163. ] What kind of cigarettes do you smoke: no kind u disgusting pile of smoking dung…. .164. ] Are you a virgin: like a virgin…owww….touched for the very first time….like a vir-ir-ir-irgin….ur heart beets next to mine….lol… .165. ] If not, when was the last time you got some: ???got some wat??? Chocolate??? Um….yesterday…food???today….pepsi?? 3 days ago….be more specific… ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » W H A T D I D Y O U D O « .215. ] Last birthday: friends came over…sang karaoke, cake fight….washed each others hair…I think that is it…. .216. ] Yesterday: idr….something… .217. ] Last weekend: fishas 15s and some other stuff probably .218. ] Christmas: family was there….thats all I remember…I prob. Got some gifts… talked on the phone with friends and ……him…… .219. ] Thanksgiving: dysfunctional family dinner….all family…talked on the phone… with the person who shall not be named becuz he sucks .220. ] New year's: ….someone…same person that shall not be named…came over….spent family time….and yea….other stuff that shall not be named either unless u r my good friend .221. ] Halloween: went trick or treating with deya… .222. ] Easter: um….nothing??? .223. ] Valentine's day: um….the valentines dance but im not sure if that was on valentines day….and idt I did anything else…prob. Talked on the phone with the supid person +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » T H E L A S T . . « .224. ] Thing you ate: lunch which was a cookie and a cheese and mayo sandwich .225. ] Thing you drank: juice .226. ] Thing you wore: black pants, black shirt, grumpy sweater, some jewelry, and my rainbow shoe reebok things…. .227. ] Place you went: kitchen…. .228. ] Thing you got pierced/tattooed: nothing…..damn it….lol…j/k .229. ] Person you saw: the lady that gave me life .230. ] Person you kissed: juan .233. ] Song you heard: so cold by breaking Benjamin .234. ] Person you hugged: juan .235. ] Person you instant messaged: deya .236. ] Person you laughed with: hm…idr… ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » N O W « .237. ] What are you eating: rice crispie…. .238. ] What are you drinking: nothing…. .239. ] What are you wearing: …clothing….that I wore to school…. .240. ] Any shoes on: yes… .241. ] Hair: piggy tails…. .242. ] Listening to: chevelle- vitamin r .243. ] Talking to anyone: no…but I want to speak to juan and/or dianey .244. ] Are you pissed I made this so long: nope…. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » O P I N I O N S« .245. ] What do you think...about pop music: its alright….some of it .246. ] About boy bands: hm….pretty good over all…but bsb is the best ever!!! .247. ] About flag burning: go for it .248. ] Of the war on terrorists: um…..idk maybe???? .249. ] About suicide: lets not go there .250. ] About abortion: ppl should have the choice….so pro-choice .251. ] Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: 10 years I’ll be 24… hopefully working at a restaurant near where my love will be studying or working and yea… maybe even engaged….lol… .252. ] Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: diane, deya, yani, tammy, monica…um…. My ppl….lol….. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ » F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S « .253. ] I want: to love and be loved .254. ] I wish: life didn’t suck .255. ] I love: juan .256. ] I miss: brad .257. ] I fear: spiders among other things that I don’t discuss .258. ] I hear: music and the voices .259. ] I wonder: if I will ever be truly loved…like…really…I like forever….we’ll just have to wait for forever wont we…. .260. ] How do you know its love?: hm….not sure .261. ] If you could be any kids character, who would you be: Alice!!!! .262. ] If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you eat: food….lol…. .263. ] Do you remember any of your dreams: some…. .264. ] Do you dream in color or black and white: little of both…most like color…from wat I kno…. .265. ] Do you admit when you need help with a problem: usually never….but sometimes I will like recently with the quitting of the badness… .266. ] Can people read you like a book: idk…maybe…idts….well…not my expressions/feelings anyways…at least not usually… .267. ] What's your biggest fear: prefer to keep that to myself…. .268. ] Do you talk a lot: yea… .269. ] Are you afraid of clowns: hm….sorta….its scary walking across my house…especially at night… .270. ] Do you like spiders: fuck no… at least not live one or fake ones.. or any of them….the only spider I like is the cold spider…cuz its pretty and cool…or spider jewelry…other than that….eww…. .271. ] How about grape kool-aid: mmm…..kool-aid….. .272. ] Can you drive: sure….not legally but I can drive…like I kno how…. .273. ] Are you spoiled: idts….i might be lool…. .274. ] Are you anti-social: its been said….. .275. ] Do you see dumb people: everyday of my fucking life .276. ] Do you see dead people: wats it to u .277. ] Any last words: um….no??? .278. ] Now that this is over, what are you going to do: sit…and stare at the ceiling…. Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: getting away with murder |
| Tuesday, October 26th, 2004 | |
| 8:40 pm | everything is just so....ahh....got approved for my CAT scan today and blood tests....the doctor wanted to do a pregnancy test but thats like...just wrong dude...my mom was in the room.....everything with juan is going good so no complains there...and now is when the shit starts coming back: the neurologist guy wants me to see a psychiatrist AND my psychologist and maybe get treated for depression cuz he thinks that might be the problem and then im like...sure...watev....my father and i r getting better but every few days he just goes back to the screaming...but at least hes trying...my moms been getting pretty bitchy...but thats also trying to improve................everytime i look at my wrist i see the scars that wont go away.....so much lotion...and its still there.....y wont it just leave me be....im trying to stop the drinking like going stone cold sober cuz juan wants me to...damn i love that boy to death...he's one of the only ppl i would ever stop drinking for........but its getting really hard....remember how i had like 2 weeks then i started over...then 2 more weeks then i started over....then it started getting worse....1 week...2 days....1 day.... 9 hours.....but now im on like day 2 or 3 and im trying really hard.....but i have a head ache and i dont feel well....and ive been thinking of brad a lot....its soooo hard without him...hes been thru this...and he survived this...well...not really....well...he survived the drinking and the getting sober...and until the day he died he had been sober 4 years.........can u imagine..... not 1 drink not even cider or champagne in 4 years...no beer no wine...no nothing....4 years...and it would have been more.............and shit like that just gets me fucked up......and wanting to drink......but i kno that if i do im gonna get even worse and this shit will never go away....... i feel like.....just lost.....its getting harder to smile and laugh...but actress extrordinaire of course....im gonna do it...for juan and for diane...and deya...and yani...and all my friends...and my family (i guess) and my future family like kids and shit...and everything....and for me.........and for brad.....definately....i'll do it...its gonna be hard...but i'll do it...........im crying....but i'll do it.......one tree hill is on so im gonna call deya and converse...laterz Current Mood: mix of depressed n determined Current Music: one tree hill |
| 8:39 pm |  My life is rated R. What is your life rated? Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: wasting my time-default |
| Thursday, October 14th, 2004 | |
| 10:11 pm | joined some new websites...played on pogo....bored here...theres nothin to do...i cant wait til the weekend when i see all my friends again and go to some FIESTAS!!! lol....the song im listening to is very......sexual...lol...sensual....howe Current Mood:  indescribableCurrent Music: come on closer-jem |
| Wednesday, September 8th, 2004 | |
| 8:26 pm | omg i miss u guys sooooo much!!!!! u kno who u are but in case u dont..... here they are in random order: (lol) deya, diane, yani, tammy, sarah, danny, lauren, mony, leslie, and everyone else but if i write all ur names im never gonna sleep lol... omg its sooo blah!!! im all ahhh and yea!! gah!! ive made new friends but its like not the same... cuz most of u have been there for me thru like everything and vise versa... omg all of u need to like call me or email me at brokendreams1114@yahoo.com or something god damn ppl!!!! and for the ppl who read my blurty tell the ppl that dont wat it says bitches!!!! lol... u kno who u are....diane and deya and yani and u ppl......just tell the others like danny and lauren ect. to like contact me god damn it!!! i'm like totally lost in ur worlds/lives...i see the love now.....lol... im kidding i kn o theres love but u ppl have to like seriously.....i g2g now cuz im bored and lonely without u guys so bye. Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: solitude by evanescence |
| 8:25 pm | very accurate Current Mood: lonelyCurrent Music: before the dawn- by evanescence |
| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004 | |
| 9:29 pm |  What's Your Love Style? Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: surrender by evanescence |
| Monday, September 6th, 2004 | |
| 10:23 pm | |
| 10:11 pm | |
| 10:10 pm | |
| 10:06 pm | |
| Saturday, August 14th, 2004 | |
| 5:18 pm | damn its been long since ive updated this....anyways...tuesday was freshman orientation and that same day i got my right eye operated again... my left one was fine and its like perfect practically and the swelling has gone down on my right one since the operation...its gonna be good in no time....anyways....tonight theyre gonna put the episode of dead like me that i missed and tommorow is a whole new episode!! god damn i love that show... :)... anyways....been feeling... a little trapped emotionally but overall...pretty good.... way better than i was feeling those few weeks before.... dont get me wrong, sometimes it still feels like i cant ....idk like i cant breathe or something ....but its getting much better...and i havent been to the psychologist in weeks.....lol...i dont want to go anymore....and im gonna tell my mom that.....sooner or later.....lol....its not that i dont enjoy talking to my mom...its just that.......i dont particularely enjoy talking to my mom.....i realize that i waste a lot of space with the dots.....sorry....habit...cant stop....lol.....anyways....im kinda getting back into old habits...this summer ive been acting like...completely out of character....but lately its like...im me again....like...during last year....some might find this to be a good things....others....not so good considerin the shit i pulled last year.....but...idk.....i feel more comfortable like this....lol....its bad...but its not as bad as last year until i start doing that crap again....which i hope i dont do...but u never kno with me...lmao...im such a retard...anyways......yea...im gonna stop talking shit....half of u probably dont even kno wat im talkin bout....but the ones that care and were there always...they kno....at least they should....unless theyre being complete ijidits.....well......we all are....lol....anyways...yea... laterz....im a little....hysterical....cant u tell?...lol..ive realized that im an impulsive typist....everything i think or say....i type...for no reason....lol....QUESTION: why isnt hysterical one of the moods on the current mood thing?i have to..... Current Mood: hysterical Current Music: the nameless- slipknot |
| Tuesday, July 13th, 2004 | |
| 10:51 am | im hungry....i want food....im going to the eye doctor today...see wat he tells me.....i want these things to go away so that i can be better and crap......my tummy hurts....juan might come with me to the doctor.....i want a helmet!.....i saw pammy a-z and im gonna see i love the 90s tonight....i want the days to go by quicker.....well....i must go....im gonna get more icons....bye Current Mood:  hungryCurrent Music: comedy show thingy on comedy central |
| Sunday, June 20th, 2004 | |
| 10:09 pm | my grandmother is the best!!! she bought me a new cd player. its perfect!!! u can even hear it without earphones when u want to cuz it has built in speakers. it has am/fm radio and of course it plays cds!! its great!! shes the best grandma ever!! i love her!!! lol...i had fun today at juans house...we had a barbeque and went into the pool. it was fun...tomorrow we're going to the mall to buy the books we need and im gonna see if my mom lets us hang out...im all giddy inside...well...gotta go...luv ya all Current Mood:  giddyCurrent Music: my new marc anthony cd!! love it |
| Thursday, June 17th, 2004 | |
| 1:03 pm | ...we lost another one.....kyle...lyle...my sexy hotness canadian/italian guy........is decidingly gay.............::tear::.....lol....im happy for him....he seems better off cuz the woman were always on his case.....but its a major loss on the girls part.....the good ones are either taken or gay....and this is proof...... my toenails are blue...dark blue........and my nails on my hand are silver.....and theyre shiney...............i like shiney......................juan might come over today....im not sure tho......i made a sub profile.....actually i added it to my thing cuz i had it already........yea im lazy....lol.....about the autistic thing......u kno how the thing is repeate things....like one of the *symptoms*......i realize now.......that i type a lot of dots....for no reason....crappers...im not right? Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: pega la vuelta....i like this song...spanish bachata.... |
| Wednesday, June 16th, 2004 | |
| 5:09 pm | autistic? i was talking to my friend online and she said that sometimes she wonders if i'm autistic. I wanted to kno the dictionary meaning of autistic or autism and this is wat a got: A psychiatric disorder of childhood characterized by marked deficits in communication and social interaction, preoccupation with fantasy, language impairment, and abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects. It is usually associated with intellectual impairment; acceptance of fantasy rather than reality; an abnormal absorption with the self; marked by communication disorders and short attention span and inability to treat others as people um......no? sorta? yes? idk....no right? lets break it down: A psychiatric disorder (i just have soo many...lol) of childhood characterized by marked deficits in communication and social interaction (i Am always in my room alone....by myself except for lately but yea...when i was a child i never left the house and i was usually by myself so...), preoccupation with fantasy (yes....big YES...im a dreamer wat can i say? lol...damn), language impairment (no), and abnormal behavior (this all depends on ur definition of abnormal behavior....i guess..maybe), such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects (THE ROCK!!! MY BAD....BRAD!!!! and i usually dont learn from my mistakes...). It is usually associated with intellectual impairment (no..right?); acceptance of fantasy rather than reality (or course...this is true big time) ; an abnormal absorption with the self (no?) ; marked by communication disorders (um...no?) and short attention span (hell ya! big time!) and inability to treat others as people (idk....hm....maybe? sometimes...) overall...im not...right?......idk.....help damn u help!!....no right? i dont think so.....damn ppl make me question myself....like i dont do that enough already.....AHHHHHHHHHHHH Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: silhouettes by Smile Empty Soul.... |
| 5:04 pm | we talked...nothing as bad as i thought it would be...thank gods....i need to go do yoga...i was doing it last night and i got soo into it that i started reading the tarot and crap afterwards....very spiritual night...lol...well...im gonna go ...by myself...to the corner....im getting a sub profile cuz im sick of the stupid profile telling me i cant add more...so u kno wat...in ur face biatch....lol...alright...bye all Current Mood:  curiousCurrent Music: smothered....it just started playing..i like this song |