people they come together   
04:56pm 07/10/2003
  Justin said he emailed me forever ago but I still haven't gotten it. hmm.

GUESS WHO IS GOING TO BE AT THE U OF M ON SATURDAY???????!!!!!!!!

well, it starts with a MICHAEL and ends with a MOORE!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaahhh!! tonight I fulfill my dharma by purchasing his new book, Dude, Where's My Country?
what a stupid title, no? BUT I AM EXCITED!!!! for me, and for Justin, and for everyone else. mayhap we should wear our Anyone But Bush t-shirts to the thing. and then people will say, that is cool but you are uninformed, jerks! vote Wesley Clark! and I don't see why we wouldn't. but I still like our t-shirts. I also saw a button on evolvefish.com that said SOMEONE LESS DUMB FOR PRESIDENT.

ouch I pulled my hair. GUESS WHAT I AM SKIPPING TAEKWONDO BECAUSE I HAD A MAJOR EPIPHANY ABOUT BELOVED AND AM IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING A SOMEWHAT FABULOUS ESSAY ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! I keep taking breaks, though. what I have so far is a gathering of thoughts. I think it is going to be a pretty decent essay. because I think right now I understand the book. huzzah!!

and it's such a great book, and Toni Morrison is so great, and if you refuse to read her because you think OPRAH IS THE DEVIL or something, you are missing something big. very, very, very big.

I've heard that the movie is crap, though. now I have to see it!

I think I need to eat something real because today I've just been munching on carrots and chips and junk. and a peanut butter sandwich. so I think I'm going to go to dinner at 5:30, after the first Simpsons. I have fifteen minutes until that episode begins, and I should probably dedicate most of that to my essay, but I don't think it's going to happen. I think what IS going to happen is Krysten Skipping Queer Hamline Idol to Write Her Essay.

oh well. and that's not even a definite, because who knows, I might finish the essay between dinner and 7:30. or at least get a really good start on it. AND I have a few free hours tomorrow in which to tweak it. I love college! except the getting up early for Religions of South Asia.

YAY MICHAEL MOORE and yay for JUSTIN who is. magnificent. beyond... measure.

oof so I just went to michaelmoore.com and got so entranced by it I completely forgot about my blurty. the section about how Bowling for Columbine is completely real is very nice. I still haven't gotten Justin's email. I am scared.

and my fingernails are too long.

and I'm hungry.

and I'm going to eat in half an hour. unless I cook up some ramen now. whee.
 
     Post
 
for Thoward   
09:09pm 05/10/2003
 
mood: not essay!
music: sigur ros things in my head!
AHAHAHAAA you do not understand my toilet-paper-dispenser PUNNAGE!!

I just had the nicest weekend with my kitties and my family and, to a lesser extend, my Justin. we did not get enough alooooone time! sigh spit crumble. but... kitties! and we played a lot of Trivial Pursuit with my parents. AND IT WAS FUN.

I always get insanely hot when I'm in my doooorrrmmm.

man, I did not want to come back to school. I wanted to be with the kitties! and no responsibilities! and no stupid essays which I still haven't started yet. it is 8:46 p.m. and I'm still not sure what to write about.. AT LEAST THIS IS JUST A ROUGH DRAFT.

speaking of absolute shit essays? I got an A on my allegory of the cave one. HEE HEE. I like it when things I pull straight out of my ass get good grades. I wonder what would happen if I actually tried.

so, I'm barefoot, you know.

Friday the only other person on the ACTC bus was my favorite FYSEM boy. I sometimes call him Pretty Shirt. because he wears the PRETTIEST shirts. and he is insanely nice. you just want to hug him. because his niceness is just ANNOYING.

and then there was Justin yaaaay! and we made out and watched tv. and then we went to my house and it took about twice as long as normal because there was crazy traffic backed up for lightyears.

and then what! kitties and Trivial Pursuit? and then he left because Saturday was Diamond Nationals day and a while after that Ryan came home and it was 11something and the first thing he said when he walked in the door was I Am Scared.

and I was thinking, oh, maybe he almost hit a deer or something on the way back from Anna's.

and then he told me the story!!

he and his friend Aaron were backing out of Anna's driveway and they saw these lights rush past them about four feet away. Anna's house is actually haunted. it was built on Native American burial grounds. because I do not say Indian. so, yes. there are stories about all kinds of fun hauntings in that area, and Anna has fun stories too, like waking up alone in the middle of the night and hearing someone calling her name.

ICK. okay and back to Ryan's story.

a while after seeing the lights, he and Aaron saw something that looked like a mountain lion. and I thought that was the end of the story. and I thought oh that is not so bad. there have been numerous mountain lion sightings around here. and those don't scare me. just big kitties!

and then, okay, to get back from Anna's you have to drive along "the lake." I put that in quotes because there are SO MANY FREAKING LAKES around here you just have to refer to every lake as "the lake." so they were driving along the lake and they saw something crouched in the weeds or some kind of plant, you know, and as they drove by it it stood up slowly, and it was like a fuzzy orange PERSON.

and that's why I slept upstairs.

Ryan and Dad went back down there to see if they could see anything, but there was nothing. Dad thought maybe it was a fisherman wearing neon orange like hunters do, but Ryan said it was definitely not neon orange and it was definitely furry. ooh, and I get creeped out extremely easily.

sleeping upstairs was nice though. kitties like to snuggle when you are upstairs. or downstairs with the door open.

Saturday we went to the apple orchard and rich people's garage sales and Chili's. and Wal-Mart. heheh. ugh.

caramel aaaappplllllllllllllleeee...

yum-o-rama. then Justin came over and we went for a walk at Tamarack nature center. THAT WAS KA-YOOOOT.

and. then. Trivial Pursuit. and then. SNL hosted by Jack Black. and then sleeping. I slept upstairs again because it was INSANELY cold in my room. and I only had one blanket. I was going to use more blankets from the chest we have but they smelled like wooden chest. so I tried going to bed in my hoodie and socks and that just was not cool. and I didn't even think to turn the fireplace on. so I did the couch-sleeping thing and it was nice until my mom got up way too early and played with the kitties so I went back down to my room.

and Bucket came and slept by my head for a while. he loves heads! it's so cute. he is the cutest tiniest craziest thing.

I tried those non-applicator tampons the other day but I just could not get them in. so screw that. and the crazy people sent me another sample for some reason.

yay I get to see Justin again tomorrow! lit is canceled because it is Yom Kippur and my teacher is Jewish. this is another reason college is great! no substitute teachers, just canceled classes. huzzah! so I guess I'm just gonna eat lunch here and then go to Justin's a couple hours later and make non-existent babies for a few hours and then do homework and then make more babies and then come back here. yay.

but I have to write my stupid essay! grunt!

Justin's birthday is in a WEEK AND I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN HIM ANYTHING.

I am a bad. bad. BAD GIRLFRIEND. maybe I will get him some oral sex.

haw-haw.

my parents want to take us to Donatelli's next weekend. to commemorate ((I CANNOT SPELL THAT CRAPPY WORD)) the 21st anniversary of the birth of my lover.

yay lover. yay 21. yay girly drinks. yay bad bad girlfriend.

okay! essay? what, me? write an essay? naaaawww...

ugh did you like the total crap play-by-play feel of this entry! I DIDNAE.

byeeeee my ass is sore.
 
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so that the fragile tundra is protected   
12:08am 02/10/2003
  I'm trying to make myself sleepy! and it is not working.

I just spent a good hour or two listening to my cds to figure out which songs might even POSSIBLY be candidates for my spiritually moving cd for religion. okay, I haven't gone through NEARLY all my cds and I have... 78 songs!!!! I think my standards are very.. unspecific. I'm like, OOH good song! and I put it on the list. well, not really. I guess I am just really easily.. spiritualized??? gah. well so obviously I'm going to pare down this list SIGNIFICANTLY and put the songs that NEED to be heard on the cd ((like the Sigur Ros ones, how do you explain Sigur Ros?)) and probably just quote from a bunch of others. yeehaw.

oh, but there are so many.

tonight I was wondering oh when did Justin first tell me he loved me. not in writing but in speaking. and I searched and searched my downloaded OD entries, and I could NOT find it, so I called the lad.. and he had no idea either, because he is sweet. but eventually I found it. March 9. 2002.

ghost ghost I know you live within me feeel as yooou flyyyy.

okay, so I need to clean my deskal area. there are dirty Kleenexes and candy wrappers and empty water bottles ALL OVER THE PLACE. I am such a slob. but it does provide lovely contrast to Morgan's pristine side of the room.

she makes her bed every morning! is this what normal people do? I only make my bed if I'm going away for a while or if I'm having a Justin over and we'll be sitting on it.

ooh, you know what I did yesterday? I inserted a tampon not-far-in-enough and it was horrible!! I think I will spare ye the gruesome details, but it sucked.

our RA printed out pictures of animals and put our names on them and taped them to our doors. Morgan is a kitten with a yelling-looking face going WAAAZZZUUUUUPPPP. and I am a small puppy looking at a fire hydrant.

there are lots of orangutans on the floor, hmm.

and an elephant in a raincoat. I like that one.

I wish I would get stupid tired! aaaahhh I think annoying phone talker girl is being annoying phone talker girl.

I really. need. stuff. I have less than one bottle of water left. and no chocolate. and no COOKIES for crying out loud.

ohhhh maybe I should just sleep in tomorrow.......

bleah. today was fine. there was meditating and there was bleah. two days left two days left. I hate stupid WEEKS.

but on Monday there's no Lit and that is fabulous because that class just makes me tired. so yay. annnd. annnnd. I have an essay due Wednesday and that is a fuck.

but, meditating, yay.

sleep me. SLEEP ME.

and I lost my planner. grararhrrrhar!!! maybe I left it in Religions of South Asia yesterday and it will be there tomorrow. that would be nice! I enjoy my planner! grhearhghgh.

sigh. oh. existence is suffering.

there is no way I'm going to get enough sleep tonight. unless I sleep in tomorrow. unless unless unless.

I went to Spectrum tonight and it was swell. we colored. people are nice.

oh one of these days.

it's bang zoom to the moon. haw-haw. does anyone else find it odd that Tory and I both have the word "walrus" in our email addresses.

stupid Jason Mraz. why can't he not suck so much. except You and I Both, for some reason. that one is a-ok with me.

but the stupid Remedy. now it's going to be stuck in my head for life.

Mom thinks it is great how I said I had to get up in the middle of the night last night to "make restitutions" with my stomach. my euphemism for well use your imagination.

I should go lie down though. and try to sleep. through the noise and the bleah.
 
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making FUCK ((also known as the SUPERFUN PMS/PERIOD RANT!))   
09:59am 30/09/2003
  I seem to be in an insane amount of pain. YAAAY! did you know I talked to my mom and she agrees that it might be good if I went on the pill.

she said horrible PMS runs in the family. Grandma, Auntie Di, and Mum. and me. but in Grandma's day they just told her she'd grow out of it. Mum was on the pill but it did not help her PMS. she doesn't get horrible pain like I do but she gets worse mood things. which is scary. and that's why she's on OTHER happy drugs!

so on October 17, which isn't for a while, I'm going to the doctor, and the doctor might have to examine my fachina. at this point I don't even CARE because I have had absolutely EEE-NOUGH of this SHIT. the only reason I've tolerated it for so long is that I feared my mother's lecturey wrath. and since I was still fully living in her house, I was under her rule, and she could say, blah, you just want to have lots of premarital sex with your sweet little boyfriend don't you.

and well. I do. but that can wait.

oh, but I have my period. so we had nothing to be afraid about. I said I'd call Justin as soon as I got it but here's the thing. I got it either this morning or last night because I woke up and I was WET. I bled straight through the SWEATPANTS I was sleeping in. oh, that was fun. and now there's a fun little tampon in me and I have never used one before and I am wondering is there supposed to be blood on the string???? I wonder if that means I already soaked through it. BUT IT'S ONLY BEEN like two hours.

agh.

and my back pain is WORSE. and now I have full frontal cramps too. so like, yay.

this. needs to. stop.

I was going to go to the grocery store but I hurt too much and it is too cold out and if this does not get better this afternoon there is NO WAY IN HELL I am going to Taekwondo.

males of the nation, you have no idea.

most females probably don't have any idea either. people who are like, bah I never get PMS! I just want to rip their heads off. my mom never got PMS until she had kids.

oh, yeah, she thinks my back pain might be caused by a TILTED UTERUS. which is just fabulous, because tilted uterus is supposed to cause painful intercourse. WHEE.

man, if this is bad, I don't know how I'm going to live through childbirth. maybe by then I won't be such a WEENIE.
I hope. because I do want to have kids. in a while.

stupid...grr!!

maybe I should lie back down. and do laundry later. maybe what I need is a chill pill. and a hug. NOW I'M GOING TO CRY. see you later.
 
     Read 3 - Post
 
10:23 p.m. and I have to pee   
10:59pm 29/09/2003
  hello it is silly list time.
here is why my Jus-ton is wonderful.

1. he is a ninja

2. and a ninja TEACHER

3. he wants to be an English teacher

4. he is an AMAZING ninja teacher and is going to be the BEST English teacher there ever was

5. he is a drummer

6. he has the biggest boniest ankles in the world

7. he gets amazed by good drumming and good piano-ing and good music in general

8. he can play the first song on Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on his keyboard hee hee

9. he likes wine coolers and doesn't understand why that is funny

10. he is so patient and loving with children

11. he looks so pretty in his karate uniform

12. the whole top shelf of his entertainment center is pictures of ME

13. he makes me feel beautiful because he thinks I am beautiful

14. he has given me more confidence in myself than he even knows

15. whenever we are lying down and I turn away from him he spoons me

16. he has been. extraordinarily. patient with me. ahem.

17. he enjoys doing pretty things to me

18. and he is good at it

19. he looks like an Oliver

20. he is so sweet with animals

21. he likes to thumbwrestle

22. he buys me candy

23. he likes BOOKS

24. his OD is called Sir Nougat after a small hoppy penguin I own

25. he calls penguins "pin-gwins"

26. when he pulls the covers up to his nose it is the cutest thing in the world

27. he is a part of everything that is good

28. he wears a bracelet from me every day

29. he made me a spoon bracelet that long time ago

30. and I wore it every day. until it broke.

31. he is not a stupid typical male. we can talk about my uterus and he feels no less manly.

32. he likes comic books

33. really, really likes them

34. he is interested in THINGS.

35. the more I think about him the more I enjoy him

36. and that has been going on since 9th grade

37. he understands.

38. and I miss him every time I leave him

39. once he sent me a postcard from the SPAM museum

40. he came to France with me

41. he saw Amelie with me three times in the theatre

42. and kissed me nicely afterwards

43. he adjusts the temperature fifty million times a day for me when I am at his dorm

44. my whole family thinks he is insanely cool. including my grandmothers.

45. he held my hand during Njosnavelin. a long time ago. so it is our song.

46. he is anti-Bush yay

47. he made me feel more loved than ever when we had that weird virginal pregnancy scare

48. he listens to me cry on the phone when I have PMS

49. he doesn't get TOO mad when I swear at him when I have PMS :)

50. he rubs my lower back where it hurts so bad when I have PMS

51. he makes me feel like crying because he is so sweet and pretty

52. he. just. consistently makes me happy.

53. he is intensely into his English class.

54. when we are watching a movie or something I lie between his legs and sometimes I fall asleep

55. every time we spoon I fall asleep because it is so nice

56. at his house we always eat chips while watching Food Network

57. for our one-year anniversary he made me a photo album

58. it even has pictures of meat

59. I know what I wish to buy him for our two-year anniversary....

60. he likes to boogie

61. his face is so nice. especially his nose. and his mouth. and his eyes.

62. he doesn't drink as much pop as he used to because I enjoy nagging him about it

63. whenever I wear something he comments on how much he likes it

64. he doesn't make fun of me when I am stupid even though I never STOP making fun of HIM.

65. I like the way he holds a writing utensil for some reason

66. he is a fanboy. oh that is it. see numbers 32 and 33.

67. he gave me his copy of Perks. he bought me The God of Small Things. and a huge book of Allen Ginsberg's poems.

68. he gives piggyback rides yaaaay

69. he lets me eat his Cheetos for breakfast.

70. when we saw Sigur Ros the second time he kissed my hand after Njosnavelin

71. for our first Valentine's Day he got me a lot of random things. like a button that says NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR.

72. he enjoys being homo-erotic with Jason

73. and like forty million other things I am too tired to think of right now
 
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our nation must come together to unite   
09:19am 29/09/2003
  oh, Bushy.

Morgan and I are skipping intro to religion. we are both completely EXHAUSTED and she didn't read the assignment, and I didn't ABSORB my reading of the assignment, and we are slackers, so there. also, we are antisocial, because I think today we were going to discuss in small groups. heehehh.

that class is too giant to have small groups. but the TA is so anti-establishment. if he were Justin I'd jump his bones.

I watched Bill Maher for the first time last night. Michael Moore was on the show!! but we only got to see the last five minutes and I actually laughed a lot. Bill Maher has the softest looking face.

mmmm we have no milk so I am eating dry Cinnamon Krunchers.

I emailed Mrs. Rien last night and she already emailed me back! and I adore her. she asked a lot of questions so I am all excited to write her another email. hehe.

poor Justin with his busy days.

all I know is I'm down to three pairs of undies that I HATE so I must do laundry today! probably after African-American lit.

I love sleeping with two blankets but one of them is insanely heavy and so the blankets start to shift off the bed...

my dorm room is really kind of huge. not vastly huge. but bigger than you might think.

and I am OUT of ramen. tomorrow is probably going to be a grocery store day. I have coupons! can you believe ramen at Target costs 49 cents?? WAIT I should clarify. I don't get the super cheapass ramen that is just noodles and a flavor packet. I'm not that destitute YET. I am addicted to the Maruchan Instant Lunch kind. it's packed in a big ol' styrofoam cup. and in addition to noodles and yummy you get PEAS and CORN and little orange things that I think are carrots and I always pick them out.

you also get a high percentage of your daily sodium allowance.

Morgan likes to laugh at me when I sneeze.

I talked to Ryan last night and he said Bucket is finally going downstairs by himself to use the litterbox HUZZAH! I forgot to ask how Charlie is doing. I worry about him. in Mum's last email she said he was steadily getting used to Bucket..

..perhaps resigning himself to a life of extreme annoyance..

oh, a runny nose.

so, here's something that you and I both find ridiculous. we all know I am reading Beloved and have read it before. the first time I read it I thought there must be something to the name Sweet Home. I mean, not irony or anything, but something in the specific LETTERS. and then I realized you can spell SETHE with those letters. Sethe is pretty much the main character. and with the remaining letters you can spell MEOW. cats like milk. an enormous portion of the book is dedicated to milk. they stole my milk.

I can just hear Toni Morrison saying, "Oh sweet fertile young girl, you are way off."

it's a good book. I like it. again. I think it is better the second time because I am noticing things I didn't notice the first time. I LOVE THAT in books. that's how you know it's a great book. when you read it a second time, or a third, or whatever, and you pick up on more things and make more connections and YAAAY BOOKS.

YAAAY SKIPPING INTRO TO RELIGION.

obfuscate? oh no you didn't.

man I hope there is something good and meat-like at lunch today because I am just meat-deprived. and I will not eat out anymore. I have to stop.

unless someone else pays for me. BWAHAHA.

ooh I might have to listen to Ben Folds in a few minutes. good morning sun. I am a bird. wearing a brown polyester shirt.

I had a dream that Justin came to my dorm room and he wasn't wearing any pants. so I gave him my ducky jammies to wear.

sorry about the teeth marks sir.

or am I?

IF YOU WANNA CHANGE THE WORLD SHUT YOUR MOUTH START THIS MINUTE.

I saw this band a long time ago but that doesn't mean I like them.

they opened for the Smashing Pumpkins. and a hundred thousand other people were there to see it. it was magnificent. sometimes I can't believe how magnificent it was.

I wonder what it is about concerts. the really good ones. they always stick with you forever. and you don't feel the same when they're done. it's insane. and I like it.

I wore my retainers for once last night and my mouth is sore. so one of these days I'd BETTER get my period because the backache and the boob-ache is NOT A LOT OF FUN. I don't think my boobs have ever been this sore. well actually. they probably have. but it's pretty bad. and I have to go up and down four flights of stairs today.

eegghhh..

YAY BEN FOLDS NOW. Goo Goo Dolls came on the radio and I had to put a stop to their HORRIBLENESS.

I wish I could play the piano.

HAHAHa Bill Maher went WHAT GROWS ON THE TREES IN SCRANTON, FUCKERS?! god that was just amazing.

oh wow and I just went to his website and the guy I didn't know on the show last night was the guy who writes BOONDOCKS. I love that comic. it does not come in the St. Paul paper. Aaron McGruder is a CUTIE PIE AND AGHAHGAHRAOA! and he is neat.

um. apparently Bill Maher is loved by Al Franken, Michael Moore, ANN COULTER, and Bill O'Reilly. OH PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO THINK.

I wish we had pickles and cheese and milk. but there's really not a lot of room for that stuff in our tiny fridge.

well, okay. I'm going to find something else to do now. YAY SKIPPING CLASS.
 
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I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling   
03:37pm 28/09/2003
  okay! I hate Sundays, and I also hate Mondays, but they are inevitable, so I WILL have to do my homework eventually.

for now I am listening to Sigur Ros and looking wistfully at the sky. and smelling the Chinese food Morgan is reheating in the microwave. KRYSTEN. LOVE. CHINESE. FOODSTUFFS.

so what I was doing before was looking at my old OD entries to find the one about the first Sigur Ros concert and the one about the first time Justin and I held hands. for my Intro to Religion journal. which is supposed to document my spiritual growth or something. and those two events were just wow. and there are many, MANY other events that were just as equally wow but those are the two that stick out. and they actually INTERCONNECT. AAAAAHHH. BECAUSE OF THE SIGUR ROS AND THE HANDHOLDING.

so, it was really easy to find the concert entry. and it wasn't as good as I remembered it being. nonetheless, I copied and pasted it.. and edited it heavily.. adding and deleting... and then it took me TEN THOUSAND YEARS to find the one with the holding of the hands. because I could not figure out WHEN it happened. all I knew was that it was in December 2001. I thought it was on the 10th but I don't think that was it. I think it was the 17th. anyway. I almost cried my soul out when I read it because it was just how I remember it. and it was. so sweet.

and I almost called Justin to scream my love for him buuuut I didn't, because I am dumb, and we had a really swell weekend together, and I hope my parents never find this blurty because. then. things would go bad.

like milk. chunky and smelly.

ogh. so I went to his place on Friday. I never realized it before but the ACTC busdriver must have some mental disorder thing. he talked to himself the whole time and YELPED once. the poor man. he is very sweet though, he's always like, have a good day! thanks for riding! come back again sometime! hehehe.

and I don't know. we went to Target. we went to Taco Bell. we are magical.

we went to bed too early. my fault. so I woke up about a million jillion times during the night. it might have been the decongestant I took. it sucked. and I peed THREE TIMES. not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES.

I don't think we have anything to be afraid of.

but I guess we'll find out.. soon.

mm chinese food.

oh what did we do yesterday. we.. spent a lot of time in bed. we went to Uptown to see American Splendor. it was pretty good. Justin got me some Sour Patch Kids. oh, man. then we went to Old Chicago.

we thought the incompetent people screwed up our order. but I think what happened is we just ate each other's food.

it was cute. I wish you could have seen it. we're all like OH THEY SCREW UP OUR ORDER EVERY SINGLE TIME. but his calzone was really my calzone.. and mine, well, I really think it was his.

I was going to go back to my dorm. but I missed him too much. so I spent Saturday night with him too. HE'S GOING TO BE BUSY NEXT WEEKEND. and it's not like we get a lot of time to see each other on weekdays. booo. I think I'm going home next weekend because I miss my kitties AND my family.

and I have OFFICIALLY decided that I need to eat out WAY WAY WAY LESS. I am NOT acting like the poor college kid that I AM.

so, this is it.

mm dinner. I am excited for dinner. but not hungry. GAAh. I'm tired. that's what I am. tired.

and tired of having to miss Justin all the time. and waking up by myself most of the time. wearing pajamas instead of nothing.

one of these days I have to say hi to Kate because always look at each other during religion and it makes me sad because we used to be such good friends and now we're in school together again and we could be good friends again.

you know, that would rock me inside out.

yay and I got a measuring cup. so now we can measure stuff.

let's take a road trip. to somewhere cold. and listen to sigur ros the whole time.
 
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don't you. forget about me.   
01:00pm 26/09/2003
  I wish I knew where my stupid Breakfast Club went. I LOVE THAT MOVIE GRR.

I just erased Morgan's quote from the whiteboard and replaced it with a Labyrinth quote and this makes me realize that I should get my OWN whiteboard where nobody writes stupid emo song quotes. EEEXXXXXXCEEELLENNNNTTT.

right. I got a mouse last night! for my laptop. it is so much nicer than the touchpad. and I got some tampons. and I got some carrots. and I got some bread. and I got a Command hook fer tuh command my ethernet cable to stay attached to the wall.

DUCT TAPE DOES NOT STICK WELL TO BRICK when you want it to hold up an ethernet cable. TAKE NOTE, CHILLENS.

okay, I am about to speak ill of the dead and the families of the dead, so watch out lest I contaminate ye.

we all know that Phil Todd died. and it was tragic. and it WAS. he was very young and had a great hockey-playing future ahead of him. WOO HOO. and now they're having a big ol' benefit for him with 12 completely unknown bands and I think his family is using the money as a scholarship. there was an article in the paper to immortalize him. how sweet he was to be an organ donor. it's like when people die their faults are COMPLETELY erased. Phil Todd was one of THE most homophobic people I have EVER encountered. he was SEXIST. he ANNOYED THE LIVING HELL out of people. he was ARROGANT. but now he's a SAINT because he died and donated his organs.

I think it's great that his family wants to set up a scholarship, but oh it will probaby go to the next best hockey player in the school.

but, John Lennon makes things better. AAAALLL WE ARE SAAAAAAAAY-INNNNG.. IS GIVE PEACE A CHAAANCE.

I think I gotta blast ye olde royal dookie..

aside from that, I have nothing to do for the next hour or so. YAAAY. and then after class I get to do more nothing and then I get to eat dinner as FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN to try to catch the bus to Justin's at 4:45. the more I think about it the less likely it seems that this is plausible. hey I should go check my mail! no I'll do that after class because class is right across the street from the student center where the post office is.

I like mail!

I really don't like pooping in public bathrooms. I never had to do it until stupid college. I cannot poop with someone else in the room. do you like hearing about this, huh, do ya, do ya, huh big guy?

the annoying phone talker girl didn't do her annoying phone talker thing last night! it was marvelous. Morgan and I stayed up later than usual talking about things I don't remember. it was fun. she is so critical of things she doesn't understand. she's like, I heard Jewish people don't eat pork on Rosh Hashanah! and I said, they never do. and she's like, THEY NEVER EAT PORK? and I heard they don't mix meat with milk! and I'm like, uh yeah, that's KOSHER...

that was a bad example of how she's critical. I'm sorry. but she seems to mock other people's beliefs a lot. or just think they're totally wrong. she gets this gaping-mouth look and is like.. I don't know. I can't find the words. she scoffs, I guess.

this cd is too slow and quiet.

and old. I think it is the third cd I ever burned. I don't like most of the songs anymore. DYSLEXIC HEART? no thank you.

ooh, but an acoustic version of TODAY.

TOODAYYY IS THE GREATESTblah

our next journal for Intro to Religion is about god in narratives. narratives being poetry or story or song or whatever. and for THAT I am totally making a cd of music that makes me feel infinite. and of course explaining why I picked those songs. because my beliefs are ugly and wrong.

haw-haw. I LOVE MY BELIEFS. I LOVE MY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SOUND!!!!! it sounds like someone is scraping a heavy chair on the floor every minute or so. and for the past 2 or 3 days there has been the sound of running water coming from the heating vent! what the hell!

I wanna tuuurrnn you ooonnn...

I emailed my mom today and casually mentioned that my PMS is horrible and therefore I should go on the pill. I am almost afraid to find out what she thinks about that.

SWEET it's Mr. Big. I put in a new cd. THE CRAZY SOUND WILL NOT STOP. okay I have to go to the bathroom so much I'm about to have a nervous breakdown so I will be back.

PAUSE!

UNPAUSE! I found out what the horrible sound was! is!

there is a GUY in the bathroom fixing one of the toilets. every time he flushes it the plumbing goes GRRRGGGP. it's horrid. needless to say, I could not poop with a middle-aged plumber in the next stall...

oh yay dorm life.

Morgan said Saturday nights here are especially loud. fabulous, because I'm spending Saturday night here.

my first one ever.

I'm going to have a baby named Joonbie. or Taeguek IL Jang. or Chung Bong One. or Poomse.

when we do our kiaps in Taekwondo, there are these two guys who just SCREAM. one of them always sounds like he's saying an actual word. yesterday at one point it sounded like he was saying MOMMY. and he also said KIAP. which is just silly.

I've also seen it spelled Kihap.

okay, I just remembered this cd. it is called SPRANKS. I used to listen to it all the time during lunch in.. it must've been 11th grade. yes. because it took too much work to go to lunch in the white building and I didn't know anyone in the lunch in the red building. so I just sat in the library and did homework and things. I did that at some point in 12th grade too and it was nice. I like to be alone and read and listen to music maybe. but anyway. this 11th grade time was really sad for me. it was just before Justin and I got together. things were not so great for me just before we got together.

David Bowie is coming with Macy Gray. CAN. WE. SAY. YUM>!??!

seriously.

why does frottage have to be such an unpleasant word. why did Keanu Reeves have to play Siddhartha Gautama. why is Shakira on this cd.

hehehee.

lucky that my breasts are small and humble, RIGHT SHAKIRA RIGHT? SO YOU DON'T CONFUSE THEM WITH MOUNTAINS?

man she is one of the prettiest ladies I can think of. her and Leona Naess. -gasm-

too bad their musical abilities don't match their utter physical gorgeousness. well, I've only heard a few Shakira songs, and that's quite enough... and only one Leona Naess song, and it's not TOO bad.

oh yes. and Macy Gray. she is also one of the prettiest ladies in the world. AND I think she is INSANELY talented. SHE'S LE PACKAGE TOTALE!
this is.. rambling. I think the plumber is gone. at least the toilet noises are done. shall we have another go?
 
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one love. one heart.   
11:32am 25/09/2003
  OD is now suddenly letting me sign notes under unbornchikkenVoices so for some reason I don't have to sign into my reader password from Marc.

WHAT-EVER.

and now that they've lowered the price DRASTICALLY... $24 a year rather than $40... well, I might be going back. maybe. I don't really like the swank new setup.. but.. come on, it's OD! it's not like Blurty is a whole lot to scream about.

well, I like it, and I don't know. it's free. but it's not OD. I do like how OD and FOD are now the same site.. maybe I could get another FOD.. but that would not eliminate the now PROFUSE advertising.

I'm listening to stupid Tonic. a few minutes ago it was stupid Better Than Ezra. and then I could not even FORCE myself to listen to stupid Jimmy Eat stupid World.

mmm but I love carrots.

yay! Pink Floyd. ALL IN ALL YOUR JUST A-NOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL.
daaaaaammn straight.

Justin came over last night and it was a nicer time than the last time. it had a lot to do with how I have a backache and may be ovulating. yes, I'm sure you've all probably figured out that what was bothering me the other day was worries about being pregant.

man, I wouldn't have thought a THING of it if I hadn't started getting weird spooky pregnancy-signs. because. well. the chance that I got pregnant from doing what we did is ridiculously small. but. stranger things have happened.

like elephantiasis of the nuts, holy shit.

wow! now it's Jimi Hendrix. anyway. so I'm probably not pregnant, and at this point in my life that is the best news EVAARRRR.

you see I am still a virgin. SERIOUSLY. we just happened to do things and things came in contact with other things and no.. precautions were taken. because we're stupid kids. which is why I need to get on the PILL.

because I am violently opposed to using a condom with this particular lover. I have said it before in here, half-jokingly. but I mean it. I just feel like condoms are something you use when you don't love or trust the person fully. and it makes it more. artificial.

but that is just me. do not consider yourselves judged, ye condom users of the nation.

I think condoms are a great idea. but the idea of ME actually USING them does not appeal to me in the least.

I can't believe this girl actually just died from taking an abortion pill. that makes me sad. it's sad enough that she had to make the decision to have an abortion ((which, by the way, is probably what I would have ended up doing, as sad as it makes me...)) but she also had to DIE. well I haven't read the paper yet today so I don't know if there's any kind of followup story or anything.

and there was a shooting at a school in my gorgeous little state. one dead and one in critical condition. I heard this morning that the shooter was generally a good kid and people just teased him about his acne.

yesterday I had the window open because it was stuffy in here and Morgan wasn't home to whine about the coldness. so the window. and the coldness. I put my chair in front of the tv and wrapped myself in a blanket and watched a press conference about the shooting. and then I watched the Columbine shooting part in Bowling for Columbine because I felt like I had to cry.

and I only did a little.

I did find myself a little puzzled at one of the phone calls that played while the camera was panning around the school before it showed the security tapes footage. the caller was like, hi I love your show! I watch it every day! and the other person was like AWW THANK YOU! THANK YOU! in a sweet little voice. did they just put that in there to show how weird and out of place it was!? or that some people just don't CARE?!

I've been falling asleep with the lights on while Morgan was still awake. then last night I woke up because Annoying Hall Talker Girl was doing her annoying late-night hallway talking. I thought maybe I should type up something that starts with ATTENTION and tape it to the bathroom door. OR write something scathing on the whine list outside the RA's door. OR speak directly with the RA about possibly having some sort of meeting about this matter.

because I KNOW I am not the only one who is bothered. I KNOW. FOR A FACT-OLA.

hey stupid Friends premieres tonight, doesn't it. STUPID FRIENDS! I most likely will not watch it. I am going to see a speaker at 7 and then Morgan and I are going to Target at 9 for a supply run. I am finally going to purchase a mouse. ougghhagh I am too poor.

Mom emailed me today and said Bucket pooped on her bed. OHH THAT MAKES ME SAD. he doesn't like to go downstairs when no one else is down there, and his litter box is downstairs. I want him to learn to follow Charlie's lead! god, why was my CHARLIE so much easier to potty-train!

I'm staying here this weekend. have I already said that? well I am. except Friday night at Justin's. hee hee.

oh yes. I got my first essay back yesterday and it was way better than I deserved it to be. a B!! B is not great for me, ESPECIALLY in the essay department, but I cannot complain at all because that essay was just INEXCUSABLY bad. I really didn't put much thought into it at all. although Kate ((the prof)) said I do some very good independent thinking. which is what they ALL say.

I mean. teachers. they're all like YOUR PERSPECTIVE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE'S!! and that just boggles my mind. in a fun way.

speaking of which, I am going to a Buddhist meditation center in a couple weeks and I am extremely excited. or, I am calmly accepting the reality that I will be attending a Buddhist meditation center. this is neither good nor bad. all things are impermanent.

but what about impermanence? how can that be impermanent if ALL things are impermanent? but all things cannot be impermanent if impermanence is permanent!

I love school. this semester has been good mojo. why do I say mojo. I don't know. but I feel like things are falling into place and it is absolutely gorgeous.

today people connected Buddhism with Spirited Away AND Fight Club. it was like. a symphony. of the constantly reborn soul.

am I listening to Dido?

I have to stop eating so much between meals. yesterday at 5 I was starving but I didn't want to miss the Simpsons to go to dinner.. so I just made some ramen. and then I didn't get hungry for dinner until long after dinnertime had ended.

last night what Justin and I did was mostly homework. and some halfhearted wrestling. it's hard to wrestle on a really tall narrow bed next to a brick wall.

there will be no white flag above my door.

and now to do dishes.
 
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default! default!   
01:16pm 24/09/2003
  YAY SAFETY DANCE IS ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is one of the GREATEST songs ever. and one of the greatest VIDEOS ever. going to the Renaissance Festival made me want to watch it.

we saw lots of booooosooommmsss there..

not like it matters. but. a couple hours later. I climaxed so hard I could barely walk.

just thought you all should know.

here is a thing that is scary! okay, you know how I have mentioned my theory that there is a Trash Room Rapist. well NOW I'm not all that nervous about there being a rapist. but I am nervous at the DOOR. for some reason I ALWAYS think it's going to get stuck shut and I'm going to be stuck in there yelling and screaming and stinking of trash and no one will hear me because everyone's in class. or maybe sound doesn't carry well from the inside of the trash room! so that's why I like to go down there with Morgan. THE BUDDY SYSTEM NEVER FAILS.

oooooohhhh I don't want to go to Lit today. I don't want to get my essay back.

it's Morgan's fuff-bay! our RA has these cool markers that write on glass and she puts the pack in the bathroom so we can write happy birthday messages on the mirrors whenever there's a birthday. it's fun! yay. and she tapes a card to your door. I don't know if school will be in session on my birthday. I don't think it will be.

my birthday is also the day of GRAAAAAADUATION.

I love chicken!

tomorrow Morgan and I are going to Target because I HAVE to buy a mouse. this touchpad thing just drives me absolutely NUTS. ugh this means I'll have to make room on my desk. PHOOEY.

oh, my back hurts, and I think that might be a good thing. SQUEE.

I have decided that I am GOING to go on the Pill. I might even tell my mom. I need PMS relief. I just don't want my mom to suspect anything because then. it would be bad. I would feel horrible. but I NEED TO. FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY.

no, I'm serious. you don't know how serious I am.

here is a thing I am bad at: TAEKWONDO!

here is a thing I like about Taekwondo: my uber excellent super patient mega nice way helpful TEACHER.

here is a thing I miss: KOALA YUMMIES!

here is a thing that is almost as good as Koala Yummies!: Quaker Quick Bites, little star-shaped cookies that I have loved since I was a wee one.

maybe going on the pill will help fatten me up. I could use some fattening. then you will have reason to call me voluptuous. and not stick-twig.

I don't know if I've ever been called stick-twig, but I have been called both stick and twig. so it's all the same, really.

oh, and anorexic bitch. that's a good one. because I am both anorexic and a bitch.

well, okay. I am a bitch. but I am the opposite of anorexic. what is that? oh, um, overeater? I just have the metabolism of a hummingbird. it will all catch up with me in a few years. or whenever I go on the pill and become somewhat more voluptuous.

I don't think my bra size has changed since fourth grade. no, it probably has, but I just never paid attention. I never cared about my boobs until I realized how nice they were. which was not until I became girlfriend-of-Justin. that lad knows how to work the boobage, hear?

gah it's 1:09 and class is at 1:50 and I don't want to GO to it.

although Beloved is great. oh yes, that's what we are reading. I suppose I should change it so the book of the time of the now SAYS as much, but I don't think anyone really cares. I should just delete that part because I don't care either. not now anyway. maybe during J-term or something when I have actual FREE time in which to read books of my CHOICE.

oh, choice.

oh, Toni Morrison.

ooh I'm really excited for December 15 because I have my Religions of South Asia final from 7:45 to 9:45 a.m. and then my Intro to Religion final from 10 to 12. SHITE. that's a lot of almost non-stop testing. although wait. might they each not take the full two hours?

oh because I am so fast and thorough and sharp as a tack.

too bad OD is down because I would like to read what other people have to say. not just me. I am boring.

that's why I need to make friends and lure them into writing me notes or composing actual ENTRIES -COUGH COUGH HELENA-

hee. hee. sorry.

1:15! 1:15! only 35 minutes till class!!

blah.
 
     Read 3 - Post
 
to hold the sea, the sun, the fields, the tide   
10:22am 23/09/2003
 
music: Throwing Copper. in its entirety.
you know what I'm talking about.

this seems to be the song all the time.

okay, I am going to skip around a thing because I am too scared to talk about it and I might have a nervous breakdown if I do. right now I am just not.. comfortable with it. but. you will know. uff. probably in a week or so.

-hold-

Justin came over last night and we held each other and ate burnt popcorn and did not cry. and then I went to sleep. I do not know how to feel.

you are thinking that something is bad between Justin and me. and I guess something has the potential to be bad. but it is either no one's fault or the fault of both. and it's not going to hurt us. even if it is the bad thing. I know that because of last night.

but ( ) is a great album to listen to when you are this scared.

and thinking about ways out. all of them kill you a little bit inside. we are SO young.

and the money, and the parents. I don't know if I should make this entry private or what. maybe there should be no comments. fuck.

but this morning I woke up and felt marginally great. it's probably because I got almost enough sleep last night, for once. despite all the loudness outside and in the hall.. and I didn't wake up with a stomachache. and I want chocolate. and I need a hug.

one thing that is not great about having to shower in a public shower all the time is you can't just sit down and cry. sometimes you have to. but not in a public shower. you could get the gonzies.

just thinking about Tae Kwon Do makes me tired. what I should do is take a walk to buy some chocolate. and then I should work on my Intro to Religion journal. it is going to be BEAUTIFUL. your souls will weep and tear themselves apart. or mine will. I love this idea. it's about spirituality. I am a very spiritual person. did you know that? I just cannot identify with religion.

and that is cool with me.

I am wondering if Justin would like to go to the Buddhist meditation center with me in October. that is when my Religions of South Asia class is going. October 2 or 10. I am hoping we go on the 10th because the 2nd is a Thursday and I'd have to skip Tae Kwon Do AGAIN.

hey, it's the first day of fall! -love-

I think your vibes are helping. I feel nice. even though the universe may be on the brink of collapse.

may be.

I have dirty dishes all over my desk and window sill. what a hypocrite. well it's just a bowl, a mug, two spoons, and a fork. and it's not really all over. the utensils are all in the bowl.

I had dreams that I cannot remember even a little. I miss my kitties. I don't want to have babies for another five years at least.

I think we are just paranoid. I hope we are just paranoid.

I didn't feel like leaving the room last night so I had ramen for dinner. and I stole one of Morgan's cookies. and I watched a thing about cats. and then a million episodes of I Love the '70s. which I do. I have no problem with hot pants.

we watched parts of Little Buddha in Religions of South Asia today. Keanu Reeves played Siddhartha.
of course he did! why WOULDN'T he!

oh yeah, and Chris Isaak played the father of the new Lama.

so you know it was a GREAT MOVIE, right.

we mostly just watched the parts with Siddhartha and didn't see a lot of Chris Isaak or his wee Lama. um. anyway.

Keanu Reeves. I cannot get over it.

when this is done, you nail me to the wall. I put your peenie in my mouth. cities crumble, civilizations disappear. it will be good.

I promise. no matter what.
 
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harken ye! I gotta blast ye olde royal dookie!   
08:46pm 21/09/2003
 
mood: what....
music: right now it is Track 3
wait, maybe it's hearken and I'm just losing my mind.

I THINK I HAVE A FEVER!

I am listening to ( ) and my Blurty agent thing, where I am typing this, is open but very small, so I can see the crazy Windows Media Player CRAZINESS thing where you know, you're listening to a song and it has colorful insane things that go with the music. WOW. whoever thought this up, is like, wow.

it is making me dizzy, though.-minimize-

a couple things.

one. I wish to apologize to Marc for never leaving him notes lately. because even if I login under my reader password, I still have to log OUT of my DIARY in order to leave notes. which is ridiculous. I hate Sunday nights, too.

and the other thing is wow, I said "they're" instead of "their" in my last entry, and Helena noticed, and I changed it. because that kind of thing annoys the shit out of me. so thank you Helelleleelenena!

my right hand is all scratched up from ye olde Bucket.

he is so sweet. he snuggled with me last night. I WISH YOU COULD HEAR HIS MEOW. it's like EEEEEEEE in the tiniest voice you can IMAGINE.

holy crap. anyway. today was the Renaissance Festival. for which I awoke at 8:10. then Justin called and said he wouldn't be coming until 9:45. but that was okay. he came at 9:30. and I love my kitties.

I spent the whole day sneezing or almost sneezing and oh. there I just sneezed. I don't know if this is allergies or a cold or death or what. but it is not fun. god I feel like I've been crying for about 543789 hours because oh the sneezing. DUARGHGHAGH.

but the fest-i-val was highly excellent. it was nice and chilly out so I wore my brown corduroy jacket I loves so much. I think it was only in the upper 50s today. wowie. and it was fun. and there are so many expensive things I would like to own. somewhat. but someday when I am uber rich I'm going to buy thousands of sexy dresses. and chain mail.

but why do the bellydancers there always SUCK? however, one was pregnant. and one was just plain jiggly. but not one of those girlies knew how to shake it.

we saw lots of BOSOMS. HEE HEE HEE.

then we went to the Justin's home ((the home home, not the school home)) and the two of us made out and ate chips. good lord. oh, yeah, and for some reason I have a hickey on my throat. I really do not remember that happening.....................

I do remember the other hickeys though. ALL OF THEM. O_O

what fun. after the chips-eating we went to my house and read the Sunday paper. I think I am hearing people have sex. then Justin took me home. school home. when we got here it was really sad. because I only see him on weekends. and it won't be the weekend again for a while. SIGH. so I'm really in kind of a depressed/sneezy/feverish stupor right now. ugh I don't want Morgan to come home! not because I don't like her. but because I just feel like not talking at all. and not. I don't know. I don't want her to ask me what's wrong, because I know I look like something is wrong, and I feel like something is wrong, but the thing that is wrong is that tomorrow is Monday.

and I have to revise my paper and write a cover sheet piece of sheet ((haw haw)) for it. and set up my e-folio. I'm glad it's only 8:40 but I have such a headache. I should just do it all now and get it over with and go to BREAD.

haw haw, again. codpiece.

oh, yeah, Justin grabbed American Psycho specifically for Morgan, and I forgot to take it when I was leaving his car tonight. whoops. it was rainy today. rainy and cold. the rain didn't come until we were leaving the Ren Fest. I love turkey legs. and Sigur Ros. how does Windows Media Player know that this band is Sigur Ros and that this cd is ( ). I never told it that.

I am pleasantly chilled. one of these days I gotta get addicted to NyQuil.

drrgh. maybe I will still be sick tomorrow and miss Intro to Religion. it wouldn't matter. I could get the notes from Morgan. whee. I don't know. I don't want to miss things. oh stop being such noisy fucktarts, people in the hall...

I love inappropriate touching.
 
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when you're on your knees   
09:20pm 20/09/2003
 
mood: thirsty
music: is what you get when you give head.
so HOORAY FOR FUCKING WEEKENDS.

that was not sarcasm. I would LOSE MY MIND if I didn't have weekends. what with all the people being noisy in the dorm, and the blah, and the blah, and the BLAHBLAHBLAH..

I got to meet my Bucket today!! he is THE MOST ADORABLE THING you could ever imagine. I have never seen such a tiny cat with such a tiny little face and that TINY LITTLE MEOW! IT IS JUST A SQUEAK! I'm in love. and he is so SNUGGLY! he seems to love my chestal area. AWWWGH oh. but Charlie is not his biggest fan. Bucket likes to attack Charlie's tail. and Charlie does not like this. understandably.

but. he is. SO CUTE. tonight they were sitting side by side at the sliding glass door downstairs, looking outside. and it was so sweet. and then they fought.

okay, so I flushed the toilet about a million years ago and it still sounds like it's flushing.

but. it's not. flooding. I'M CONFUSED.

anyway. last night was another Chinese-food-eating, sleeping-naked-wit-yer-soul-mate kinda night. IT WAS SWELL BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION. we watched Edward Scissorhands. and la la la you got that right.

and, and, and OF COURSE, of course, of course, someone knocked on the door while we were being partially naked. IT WAS HORRIBLE. it was no one. apparently people just like to knock on doors at random at Justin's school. grr.

gachunk gachunk.

and I got teriyaki on my pants. IT WAS WORTH IT.

wow, I was going to take a shower half an hour ago, but now I am here, and I am also talking to JUS-TON. because I can't get enough of him.

I went to work with him this morning! we had to get up way early. it was atrocious. but it was so much fun. seeing him interact with kids. and. his. immense. patience. it's wild. I spent three hours sitting in a chair wanting to jump his sexy ninja bones. HOOOLY CRAP.

oh, yeah, hmm, happy 1 year and 8 months huzzah. we celebrated by waking up naked together. WOOO.

but you don't know how nice that is. you really don't.

and I get to get up early tomorrow too! for the Renaissance Festival. unless it rains. I'm so tired I don't even care if it rains. I LOVE MY KTTIES! Charlie is always looking bewildered and/or pissed off. ohhh my poor kitty. Bucket weighs about as much as a PAPER CLIP. he is so TINY.

I took pictures too YAAAAYYFUCK!

oooh that reminds me, I was going to save my scanned pictures to a disk this weekend.. so's I could takes 'em to me dorm.

uff, my mom said today that she made arrangements so that the credit union will take $25 out of her account every two weeks and put it into mine. that's $50 a month! holy shit. I really don't need all that money. but she said it's for clothes and foodstuffs and all the fun necessities. I do not foresee a need for $50 a month, but wow.

she also said if I get a work-study job ((the financial people RE-GAVE me a work-study scholarship..)) I can use THAT money for myself TOO.

I have no idea how she can afford to do this. my dad just spent time in the hospital. he's on all kinds of medications. my BROTHER just spent time in the hospital. HE's on medications. I'M in college. we just got another CAT. Ryan just got his driver's license so their INSURANCE is going to go up. and yet they have all these material comforts and they go out to eat and they WHAT THE HELL! my dad is going on temporary disability! he is going to be getting HALF PAY! AND HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE HAVING SURGERY ON HIS NECK.

what-EVERRRRR.

I am insanely thirsty. and dirty! gaaah! shower.

I wish we had pineapple juice. or even Sunny Delight. garggh.

do you know how much I love my school? I loves it plenty. especially the people and the food. wheee.

but I am so tired.
 
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because it's 8:07 p.m.   
08:29pm 18/09/2003
  and I find this absolutely REVOLTING. in a silly way. DON'T READ IT.

it's about my LIFE PARTNER.

I am saving it because ummm. it's a political statement. DAMN THE MAN. DAAAMN THE IDIOTIC-SURVEY-CREATING MAN!!

I hate this more than you do. -HUGS!-

His name? Justin

His age? 20...almost 21

How many months are you apart (in age)? guh, well, he was born in October 1982 and I was born in May 1985, YOU do the math assfuck!

How long have you been together? it'll be a YEAR and EIGHT months on Saturday

How long did you know each other before you got together? O_O like... umm. I'm really bad at counting. let's see.. a little less than two years.

What physical feature attracted you to him first? his.. short stature.. and skinny yet muscular body... and hair.. and nose.. and aura.. and everything...

Eye Color: blue

Hair Color: some kind of brown

Hairstyle: uh, I don't know what you would call it. it is not short and not long. and it is kind of poofy. and HOT.

Normal Outfit: big ol' jeans and a t-shirt. by big I mean wide leg.

How did you meet? um, at school, at lunch. but the first time I SAW him was at school playing DRUMS at a PEPFEST and how's THAT for a first impression.

How serious is it? fantastically serious.

Do you love him? oh yes

Does he love you? indeed, enough to make my babies.

Do your parents like him? they like him more than they like ME, haw haw.

Do you trust him? well YEAH...

Would you share a toothbrush with him? yes, if I had to.. I really don't see what is wrong with that..

Do you like the way he smells? okay, if I didn't, I don't think we'd be together. he is the BEST-SMELLING THING IN THE UNIVERSE.

Can you picture having kids with him? yes. little ninja kids with weird names.

What do you like the most about him? holy shit. I think if your relationship is really good, you can't name ONE thing you like most about the other person. and OUR relationship is THAT GOOD. damn straight. can I get a what what.

What bothers you the most about him? okay, okay, okay, in his emails and things, he always types "at least" as "atleast" and "a hold" as "ahold." and he never just spontaneously goes OH MY GOD KRYSTEN YOU ARE THE MOST GORGEOUS FUCKING THING EVER! but I do that to him. weep.

Does he have a temper? no, I'm the one with the temper...

What did he give you for the last gift-giving occasion? um, would that be my birthday? I think so. let's see. Live's new cd, ah, ummm.. SHIT! all I remember are that and the.. erotic letter. which.. anyway.

What did you get him? oh for the love of crap. the last gift-giving occasion for him was... Valentine's Day?? ummm, did I get him anything?? I absolutely cannot remember. I do not like Valentine's Day.

What is the best thing he's ever given you? his. soul. and peenie.

Does he have a nickname for you? usually I'm just Krysten. sometimes I am Squeenut, but very rarely in SPEAKING.

Do you have a nickname for him? you name it, I've called him it. including the bad stuff.

Are you happy to be with him? okay, if you know anything about me you know I have never been happier in my LIFE.

Do you think you could do better? NO ONE could do better. Justin is the pinnacle of human goodness and sexiness.

Does he smoke or do drugs? no, and if he did, I would have to smite him

Does he have any piercings? three total in his ears

Does he have any tattoos? nope. not yet. but I hope we will get tattooed together someday.

Does he have any scars that you know of? oh, a few. his arms. and stuff.

Does he party or stay at home? oh yeah, he is a party an-i-MAL.

Is he outgoing or shy? ummm. a perfect combination of both.

Call you honey, sweetie, or baby? mostly only in jest, because, gross.

Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends? I have friends?!?! if I did I'm sure he would.

Would he hang out with you and HIS friends? okay, we are both hermits. but we have mutual friends such as Jason.. and.. Jason...

DOES HE...

Sing? yes and then I laugh at him

Think Justin Timberlake is gay? we have never discussed this because it does not MATTER

Call other guys? yes and then they meet in dark alleyways to have sex

Use the word "dude"? I'm the dude-user in this relationship. yes I meant that to sound just the way it did.

Use the word "tight"? only in reference to things which are actually constricting. not "tight" as in "wow dude that rocks my ass'

Cry? well, he IS a human being...

that took a really, really long time because I am doing other things. and some idiot is listening to that song from Duets where Gwenyth Paltrow sings and it is terrible.
 
     Read 2 - Post
 
if you want to be happy for the rest of your life   
02:09pm 18/09/2003
 
mood: blargh. to the max.
music: the buzzing in my soul
so, it rained today, and I didn't know it. it must've been while I was in the laundry room folding my clothes. that scary room has no windows. and there was this boy in the kitchenette outside the laundry room, and I KNOW him from somewhere, I'm 99% sure he went to my high school, and his name is Marcus, and for the life of me I can't think of his last name. anyway, he's very nice but very pseudo-ghetto and very loud.

whenever I go down to the first floor there's some room blasting Michael Jackson or some crazy rap or country or something. well, yesterday it was A Perfect Circle, actually, and that was really nice. it made me felt like listening to them. whee! anyway, so that room is MARCUS'S room.

god what the HELL is his last name.

anyway. I hope I start feeling more awake in a couple hours because I don't want to feel all blah in Taekwondo. but if I still feel this icky.. which is what it is, ICKY, I think I should just not go. right now I cannot IMAGINE doing any physical activity.

this must be partly because I slept like HELL last night. most nights here I actually sleep insanely well. I cannot remember waking up at random times except the first night, MAYBE the second night.. and last night.

well, last night Morgan was talking in her sleep. this is quite common for her. it usually doesn't bother me because it's just a word here and a word there. but last night it was a whole converSATION. I couldn't tell if her speech was slurred from sleep or she was talking in a language other than English or maybe if I just wasn't hearing her right, but it drove me nuts. it was probably only for like 30 seconds but it took me forever to get back to sleep.

and going to sleep ORIGINALLY wasn't all that great. there was some thumping noise coming from below us, and part of me thought it was people having SEXUAL RELATIONS but another part of me thought it didn't quite sound like that. I don't know what else it could have been. but it sounded a little odd. lots and lots of really long pauses.

YAY TOMORROW IS FRIDAY.

I get to have some sexual relations of my OWN.

I swear I sneeze like a thousand times a day. how can the light in the shower still be flickery! I'm going to give up on the bathtub shower though. because I do not enjoy standing ankle-deep in shower water. I do not like to have my feet soaking in my own filth. TEE HEE.

it is pretty dark outside. yay! it is also chilly, but, because this dorm is evil, it is HOT in our room. isn't that sweet! ugh.

I was thinking next year I'd live in Manor. but Manor is supposed to be haunted. gah, even if it isn't, I'd probably be scared out of my mind half the time. the school paper said people in Manor have reported printers printing random pages of text, and, and, and, sightings, and I can't remember what else, and I am such a baby! heh.

at least I can ADMIT it.

Sorin would be nice too.. because it is right above the cafeteria... but the floors are single-gender, as if that matters...

and Drew is the notorious party hall.

YAY LIGHTNING!!! sexTASTIC.

guh, it's the weather. and the fact that I couldn't sleep. that's why I feel like shit.

and lunch today sucked because nothing looked good. so it was pizza and fries and cucumber slices. I have to stop eating fried food every day!!

but the fries here are. excellent. most of the food is.

OOH SUPER THUNDER!

are you enjoying this? I'm not really. bleah. vomit. sleep.

Morgan and I got in a fight last night. I just asked her, not meanly or anything, why she erased the quote on the whiteboard. and she was like, well obviously you already saw it, and I didn't want it up there anymore, and I was like, okay that was put up there for ME. I do not erase things that people write up there for YOU. and she's like, -change the subject- well you always want me to turn the volume down on my computer and obviously that's not going to happen! and that kind of baffled me because she was just getting extremely defensive when all I did was ask why she erased the quote. and then she kept dumping all this other crap on me about how I was so demanding? like I only turned the tv on when I wanted to watch the Simpsons? like I was supposed to turn it on when I DIDN't want to watch it? she can watch tv anytime she wants, I don't care! and then she said how she always used her headphones when listening to music and why don't I ever do that, and I said well I didn't know my music BOTHERED you, you never SAID anything about it so I assumed it was okay. and at some point she left the room to go cry or something.

so I cleaned up my desk and did my fun homework and thought about what a CRABASS she was being.

after, I dunno, an hour she came back and took the phone into the hall and I could hear her talking but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I wasn't paying attention anyway, just doing more fun homework.

and when she came back in her eyes were all red and puffy from crying. and she said I'd hurt her feelings. and I'm all, I'm sorry, what did I say that hurt you. and she said YOU CALLED ME CLINGY!

holy shit, my children! that was at like 11 yesterday MORNING. this was TWELVE HOURS LATER! I just kinda went, uhhh, well...

because really. she was trying to force me to go to the volunteer fair with her, and I'm like, Morgan! I'm not going to go to the volunteer fair because I have no intentions to do any volunteering! and she's all why must you be so antisocial! and I said why must you be so "oh I have to be with Krysten at all times!"

but, after we cleared that up last night, she said her feelings get hurt really easily. and I was really not happy with her for telling me I was antisocial because I didn't want to go to the VOLUNTEER FAIR. she really uses ridiculous logic sometimes. and it bothers me. and I tell her so. and then she cries, twelve hours later.

but while she was gone she did get Pam to rewrite the Simpsons quote on the board because she felt bad. which makes her a sweetheart..

..she's such a little girl though, and I am so not. she has her collection of My Little Ponies and her millions of pairs of shoes and a PASSION FO' FASHION.. and I have my... books and anti-Bush things and good taste in music?

hee hee hee.

anyway, we're not mad at each other anymore, so it is good..

the grass outside is SOAKED. good lord, man, just an hour ago they had the sprinklers on at full power. what a WASTE.

that really bothers me, though.

oh yeah. I did write that letter to the editor yesterday, but I didn't really put a lot of thought into it and it was pretty poorly organized, so I'd be surprised if they published it. but that would be super cool, as stupid as the letter is. hee hee.

man it was pouring a few minutes ago and most of the dorm windows are open because everyone's at class. ohhhh I feel sorry for them. but not really.

today in Religions of South Asia we talked about how could we possibly justify eating meat. and I'm one of those evil people who think, well it is so TASTY, and there is really no delicious alternative to a giant steak, and I get all anemic without it!

but, the teacher had a really good point. well, first of all, there are supplements you can take and other foods you can eat to give yourself the iron and protein you need.

but the more interesting point was that saying meat is delicious and wonderful is kind of like owning something beautiful that was made by slave laborers in China. sure, the bad karma of being the slave master or the slaughterer is not yours, but you still inherit some karma from partaking of the flesh of an intelligent breathing organism. not being the slave master or slaughterer does not justify meat-eating.

we only talked about it in terms of karma because we were talking about Jainism. Jainist monks will not even boil or pour their own water because they believe to do so is to harm the minute organisms living in the water. so they have other people boil and pour their water so THEY absorb the karma of destroying all these little souls.

and this vegetarian girl said she didn't eat meat because of the way the animals are treated, but she owns down comforters! and wears leather! so are THOSE animals treated any better?

I don't know how to justify eating meat. I like to think that it was the animal's destiny to be slaughtered. but when you think about it, WE create that destiny. because of the DEMAND for meat, more and more animals are killed. if there was no demand for meat, no animals would be killed.

so I guess I'm just a big giant evil person inheriting a lot of karma. CLEANSE ME, CLEANSE ME.

tonight I think I will write my final draft of the Plato essay because I'm not going to want to tomorrow, AAANNND I'm going to Justin's YAAAAAAYY AAAGGHH! I am thoroughly delicified by this notion.

what makes me sad is this. the ACTC bus that goes straight to his college leaves at 46 after the hour every hour. my last class on Friday gets out at 2:50. FOUR MINUTES AFTER THE BUS LEAVES. so I have to wait almost another hour to catch the next one. BOO HISS. unless the bus runs late, which I have never seen happen, or unless my class gets out early, which has only happened once..

ga-HURGH.

man, I need a nap.
 
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we hope your rules and wisdom   
07:10pm 17/09/2003
 
mood: everything!
music: everything!
CHOOOKKEEE YOOOOUUU?!?!?!

I am suffering from VIOLENT HICCUPS. oh man, don't you love it when you swallow and hiccup at the same time! it is the weirdest thing ever.

one thing I really want to experience is hiccuping and sneezing at the same time. that would ROCK.

I just found out yesterday that you can only list 150 interests on your Blurty info. because I tried to list 151.

okay, I have to make restitutions with Justin. last night he used the word "tender" in reference to my.. nipples.. and I said something like, ew, tender, that's a MEAT word. but I JUST read a stream-of-consciousness thing I wrote a couple months ago and I used the word "tender" in reference to... well, not my nipples, but my breasts. CLOSE ENOUGH. see, sometimes when I'm bored, I write semi-erotica and then go in all kinds of sad directions that have nothing to do with it. it's good for venting purposes.

tonight I was supposed to go to Spectrum ((because I love the gay folk)) but I was just so TIRED and wanted to be ALONE for a while. so I lay down. and you know what else I did. I slow-motioned the 15-couples-having-an-orgasm scene in Amelie to see if any of them were gay couples. just out of curiosity. and no, they were all male-female. gay couples are HOT. I am not going to pretend that they are not. straight couples are pretty nice too. heheheh.

I am such a PERVERT.

but, I have come to realize that I need to EMBRACE my pervertedness. it's part of what makes me KRYSTEN. sexuality is a BEAUTIFUL thing and it is nothing to be ashamed of. except in front of my parents. but that is a totally different topic.

there's a column in the school paper called "Under the Covers with Katie" in which a girl named Katie answers sex questions. it is fabulous! this week it was all about vibrators.

but I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more!

I keep listening to my various mix cds that I haven't listened to in forever. today I reacquainted myself with "Breathe" by Moist and "Run" by Collective Soul. THOSE. SONGS. KILL ME.

they just SUCK THE LIVINGFUCKINGHELL out of my SOUL.

they are that great.

especially "Run" anyway.

I feel so horrible for Justin because he has no free time in which to touch his peenie or think about licking my tender nipples. his life is all READING READING READING CLASS READING READING CLASS CLASS CLASS. that makes me sad because my life is all CLASS CLASS LUNCH COMPUTER NOTHING MAYBE A LITTLE READING CLASS HANGIN' OUT NOTHING TELEVISION NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING READING. basically. sometimes.

I told Justin this today but now I have to tell you: lunch today was the greatest lunch of all time!!

I had catfish and fritters! and pineapple! and salted cucumber slices! and it was THE BEST THING ever. only TODAY did I lose my catfish and fritters virginity. and YUM!

and Rachael just IMed me! -sex-

godisanamerican

AAAAAHH! it's TRUE LOVE WAITS!!!!! what a hot song.

so is Motion Picture Soundtrack, which I also listened to today. the GOOD version. the ACOUSTIC version. OOF.

yo kids I love COOKIES. you SEND them to me, kay?

I found out that the edition of Beloved that we will be reading in African-American Lit is the SAAAAAME as the one I already own!! SO FUCKING HELL!! in a good way. I do enjoy saving moneys. ooh shit! I still need to buy one more book.

Morgan is addicted to bidding on My Little Ponies on ebay. HEE HEE. she is OBSESSED.

there is one called Flutter Pony Yum Yum. that is THE MOST HILARIOUS thing ever. it sounds like a porn star name. so I guess it is my new term for WHORE.

ooh.

if you go to Google and type in my name and click "I'm feeling lucky" you get taken to the third quarter honor roll for 2002-03 at my high school. OH YEAH I'M AT THE TOP OF THE LIST.

what else. oh yes, if you do the same for Justin you get taken to a super nerd's website. and if you do the same for Jason, you can actually see a couple pictures of him! with some video people at his college. that is so exciting.

I LOVE NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL. BWAAAAAAA!!!!!!

okay, here is something about Hamline kids: they are lovable! they are all into saying hi. and making weird noises. and being all interesting and stuff. but SOME of them like to be extremely NOISY. like tonight during the Simpsons, someone in the next room had her Instant Messagey noises up really loud. normally you can't hear ANYTHING that goes on in the next room because of the brick walls. seriously, you can only hear what is outside or in the hall. but even in the next room you can't hear anything. so I can't even imagine how loud it was INSIDE this girl's room.

uck.

oh yeah, I think you can sometimes hear stuff below us, too. through the vents mostly. Morgan said the people below us were having SEXUAL RELATIONS yesterday.

I'm glad I wasn't there. hearing people having SEXUAL RELATIONS is one of my least favorite things ever. I mean. real-life people who are making unavoidable noise. it is just gross.

..if this noise is being made by Justin and me, on the other hand...

sheez, I must be ovulating. I am a non-stop hornball MACHINE.

I learned today that Christina Aguilera pays $250 per pair of underpants. oh VH-1 thank you so much for the vital information.

this guy who wrote a letter to the editor said the whole world is turning gay and what a threat to our population that is. okay, I SINCERELY doubt that 6 billion people are going to turn homosexual first of all. and SECONDLY, because that IS a word... why worry about human extinction when what we SHOULD be worrying about is OVERPOPULATION and how we are going to FEED all these billions of people. how can there be enough RESOURCES for everyone.

and the thing is, there isn't. not everywhere.

I'm thinking I might have to write a response letter. because. what an idiot. but, if I don't, I'm sure someone else will. and that someone else will probably put it a lot more eloquently than I can.

nonetheless, I'm gonna do it.

Sincerely,
homer simpson.
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
the supreme dictator of LOX   
07:55pm 16/09/2003
 
mood: happy
music: a cd I made a few years ago that is called "BLENDAH"
holy crap, lox is not something I am interested in eating.

this cd is fabulous! it makes me boogie in my chair. I will be alone for two more hours!
Morgan went over to her boyfriend's house. I don't understand her. she keeps saying things like "he's a good guy! I just don't want to date him!" and letting him buy her roses. and going to his house and probably doing horribly wonderful things to his scrawny little body. she is too afraid to hurt him!

it makes me sad. but. it's none of my business.

don't drink expired milk, no matter how un-expired it may smell. IT TASTES LIKE ASSCREAM.

buuut I try, I try..
never gonna fall for
modern love
etc.
-boogie-

today I had my happy fun Religions of South Asia class and I seriously LOVE that class but it is way too early in the morning. the professor so obviously loves his job, and that RULES. he doesn't just like to hear himself talk like a lot of professors. he doesn't just ramble on. he moves his hands around and actually changes the tone of his voice and speaks loudly and clearly and huzzah for one and all.

the light in my favorite shower has been flickering all day. grr! and the other shower is the bathtub-shower and it DOES NOT DRAIN well at all. it is terrifying. I hate it.

so I have three options. take a shower in the light-flickery stall and run the risk of having it burn out while I am being wet and naked. or, shower in the terrifying bathtub-shower. or, wait until tomorrow and see if maybe the flickery light gets fixed.

I'm thinking I like the third option because it allows me to be lazy and stay in here for the rest of the night. but, it's only 7:26, things may change.

this girl I have never spoken to and probably would not recognize if I saw her... she and I have been leaving Simpsons quotes on each other's whiteboard. if I were one to be swayed by the wiles of a female Simpsons fan.. I'd be in love.

however, I am a little more than 50% heterosexual and am appallingly, RIDICULOUSLY happy with my hetero life partner, Justin. who is immensely more attractive than the elusive female Simpsons fan. dude, I like, get to see him in three days.

HOT!

because SOMEONE needs to start paying attention to my cleavage. HELLO, we got A-cups here! does no one care!

unless I have been wearing the wrong bra size all along. that would be sad.

what a fun cd this is. I was looking for Placebo! but I don't think there's any Placebo on this cd.

and yet.

today, oh today. it involved a lot of. yeah. after happy fun Religions of South Asia, I took a happy fun walk to the grocery store.

here are things I can walk to that are between my school and the grocery store:

an Ethiopian restaurant
two Korean restaurants
a Turkish restaurant
Taco Bell
Muddy Paws cheesecake/cookies
Gingko coffeeshop
Applebee's
Midway books
Englewood Printing
Kim's Oriental Food & Gifts
a hat-blocking place
a hardware store
a place that buys comic books
two gas stations
places that fix cars

and about TEN MILLION GAJILLION other places down other roads. including Ax-Man! I love being in a city. holy shite. all that stuff I listed.. that's all on one street, basically. that's about fifty times more fun stuff than we had in Centerville.

-sex you up-

so the walk to Rainbow was nice. I got water, milk, cookies, Pringles, and deodorant. everyone was very nice there. here's a bad idea: buying a gigantic case of bottled water when you have to walk a mile to get back home! I carried the water and put everything else in my backpack. it was painful. but my arm muscles are actually visible now. for the time being.

I decided not to get any cheesecake today because I didn't feel like cheesecake.

isn't it nuts how that happens. I spent DAYS looking forward to my cheesecake day, and then when cheesecake day came, I didn't want cheesecake anymore.

REM tonight. I'm not there. I have READING to do. SO MUCH READING. actually not that much. but it's reading, eh.

my reading for intro to religion tonight involved pantheism. you guys DO NOT UNDERSTAND how much pantheism speaks to me. NO. NO. it's not that it SPEAKS to me. but, it puts into WORDS what I FEEL. and that makes me go aaaahh! and whip out the highlighter and highlight the things that sound like.. what I.. feel.

good to see you again, Mr. Redundantpants.

I feel like scrubbing the life out of my skin, though.

tonight in Taekwondo we did round kicks. and I am so bad at those it ceases to amuse me.

but I love that class. I love the people and the teacher and the yaaay!

okay. I keep forgetting to say this and I am mostly saying it for Justin's benefit but if I WAIT to say it to him in person or email or something I will completely forget about it.

Taekwondo is only half a semester long. I CAN stay the whole semester and test for my yellow belt. I honestly don't know if I want to do that. beCAUSE Master Frankovich said yellow belts and above SPAR and I have no idea if sparring is mandatory. I would ASSUME so...? and like, I am a super weenie, and I do NOT want to spar.

so there we have that. lala.

did you know that David Hyde Pierce is my HO. oooh and so is that girl I saw on that show last night! it must've been Leno. yes. anyway. I can't think of her name... wait... Leona Ness. WOW. she is one of THE ABSOLUTE MOST gorgeous people I have EVER witnessed. and I like her singing yay! but she is prettier than her music. really. oh. can she plleeeeeeease have my babies.

haw-haw-haw.

in your HEEEEEEE-EAD, IN YOUR HEE-EEEAAA-AAAAAAAAD zombie zombie zo-ombie-ie-ie

oh you eclectic BASTARD.

I loves me brick walls! they are so nice and cool on my feets.

someone come online soooooo I can talk dirty to you.
 
     Read 2 - Post
 
the thing that is awake   
10:56pm 15/09/2003
 
mood: plasticky
music: the noise that is outside. SMELLY noise.
blurty is better now! yaaay.

my family! they got the kitty. he is a tiny kitty. with a tiny face. and he purrs. and he hisses at my poor Charlie. and
he is Bucket! they named him Bucket! at my suggestion, of course. you know I was saving that name for a future Chihuahua or something, but hey, maybe I will not have a future Chihuahua. so I hope this kitten is worthy of his glorious name.

and I am asking my brother millions of questions about it. I am so EXCITED. I don't know when I'm going to get to see my little Bucket. maybe here's what we should do.

maybe I should spend the night with Justin on Friday, go to work with him on Saturday, and spend Saturday night at my house being conjoined triplets with my kitties. then on Sunday I go to the Renaissance Festival with Justin!

how does THAT sound? I know I said I didn't want to go home again this weekend.. but.. kitty! Morgan has to get up at 5 on Sunday morning so I don't want to be around for THAT.

Ryan and Mum agree that I will love the Bucket. OOHHH I SMOTHER KITTY WITH LOOOVE! except not, because smothering makes me cry!

I hope Charlie is okay with this. -pantpant- I would cry if he got all sad and things. gruh!

Morgan got the new Cosmo. holy crap, I loves me institutionalized smut and vanity and subservience. if that is a word, that's probably not how you spell it.

but oh! that stupid magazine makes me want to get naked and touch people.

not just ANY people. JUSTIN people. mm.

tonight it smells bad in our room. it is unpleasant. I have been reading about Jainism. it's insanely interesting.

and there is always someone somewhere listening to very loud music.

brr.

I am happy! tomorrow it is class, and then taking a walk to Englewood Printers and Muddy Paws... I am going to get me some CHEESECAKE.

CHEESECAKE! IT'S FUCKIN FOOTBALL SEASON!

and then it is doing a very little bit of reading. ooh, you know, I might also go to that Midway Books place just to check it out. I do fancy checking things out.

tonight at dinner there were swordfish sandwiches. does anyone else find that a very weird item to offer in a school cafeteria...

so THIS is what my tuition is paying for. swordfish SANDwiches.

my dinner was weird tonight. salad, french fries, and corn. and cherry coke. I almost got chicken, but then I didn't, because I am dumb.

I will not drink pop for another week. I promise! I really only want to have pop once or twice a week because I am a water person, and a juice person, and a semen person, and one of these things is not like the others, one of these things doesn't belong...

..or does it?

stay tuned, kids.

...that doesn't mean I'm LEAVING. I wanted to say a couple other things.

one. we had peer groups revise our Plato rough drafts today and mine was surprisingly well received. yaaay! they especially liked my "Oh, that clever Socrates" bit. hee hee. I love making mockeries of stupid assignments.

which is not to say that either Plato or Socrates is stupid. it's just. I HATE ESSAYS. grr.

two. I wore my "anyone but Bush" shirt today and got lots of positive comments from females but only one from a male. no negative comments, however. possibly a dirty look or two from football players.

um, but that's not fair. because the one lad who had a positive comment about my shirt IS a football player. an Abercrombie-wearing football player, at that. so I shall stereotype no more forever.

okay, and the first Simpsons episode today was just on on like.. Thursday, or something. GRRG.

oh. and the free tampon samples I got in the mail. they are NON-APPLICATOR tampons. the idea rather intimidates me, but I guess it's worth a shot. I don't really FANCY sticking my finger in... anyway. they came in this little pink plastic case that looks suspiciously like a little box of DENTAL FLOSS.

speaking of which, BRUSH AND FLOSS REGULARLY, kids. I know I do. I brush twice a day and floss once a day. now THAT'S hygiene.

whee.

okay, I don't feel like talking anymore. stay in school!
 
     Read 3 - Post
 
are still my friend   
12:51pm 14/09/2003
  -sway-

so. I'm back at. school. which I keep referring to as home. my room at home, as in the home in Centerville... it is so big and empty. everything is gone. there's just furniture and a bunch of the knicknack type crap I didn't take to school. I do have a lot of knicknack crap here, too. I don't know if I felt like I was at home when I got there. I don't know. I don't know if I've ever thought of Centerville as home.

I like St. Paul. there are African Americans and lesbians and lots of non-Christians. how INTERESTING.

here is something that is uncool in the book I just read for African American Lit. it was called Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl.. by Linda Brent. it's a true story. slave narrative. this slave lady escaped from the South after being in hiding from her slaveowner for SEVEN YEARS in a little tiny hiding spot.. so, yes, she escaped from that and went to the North and found it was not truly "free" soil, and she worked as a nurse for this wonderful woman, and eventually she went to England on a bit of a vacation with the little girl to whom she was nurse. and she found that in England there was NO racial prejudice whatsoever.

and how ironic is that, how the US split from England to be away from the oppression, when we are the oppressors.

it just supports the idea that we are a nation of fucktarts, for shizzle and whatnot.

I am all sneezy.

have you ever listened to "Walking After You" by Foo Fighters a million times in a row at 4 in the morning in the summer? it's really a beautiful thing. that was so many summers ago. but every time I hear that song I remember it. I don't know why I listened to it so many times. the video for that song used to kill me.

I like to be sad.

now I can't think anymore.

I have to write a couple essays today. not looking forward to that. but at least I finished MOST of the reading that's due tomorrow >_<

college.

my grandma thought Justin was going to Oxford. it's Augsburg. they do sound alike.

my mum bought me raspberry body wash that makes my skin appallingly soft.

Justin has a karate tournament today. I wish I could go watch it. I love karate tournaments. they are such fun. lala. I might sleep over on Friday night and go to work with him on Saturday. that would be neato. I hope we do that. even though it involves getting up somewhat early.

last night we talked a lot of politics and things. and sort of watched Dumb and Dumber. and attacked each other. we also went to Barnes & Noble and he got Lies My Teacher Told Me. I looked for a suitable journal for Intro to Religion but they were all kind of meh. I won't need one until.. whoops.. Friday. Morgan and I might be making a journal-buying excursion this week anyway. if not I do have a completely empty scrapbook that would work just fine. although I WAS saving it for scrapbooking purposes.

I covered it with metal tape while listening to Something in the Air over and over and over.

what is with me and putting great songs on repeat.

I think I had a dream about Jake Gyllenhaal.

I'm alone until 5. that should give me enough time to clear my brain and start an essay or two. I am having THE HARDEST TIME typing today.

I tried to leave a note on Marc's diary today but the Man finally caught up with me. it wouldn't let me leave it because my diary is expired. and I forgot that he gave me a reader password. whoops. guess I shall have to go back and leave a note in a little while.

I feel wired.

I had Mountain Dew last night. maybe that is why I couldn't sleep. I haven't been consuming a lot of caffeine lately. shit I forgot I'm almost out of water. GRAAAHH.

Morgan had her Republican-boyfriend-she-tried-to-break-up-with over last night. it looks like he bought her a rose. a yellow one. I wonder if it is a goodbye rose or a please please please stay with me I'm clingy and desperate and childish rose.

sigh. but I have a necklace with Justin's name on it. in hieroglyphs. right between my breasts. so how do you like THAT. -wet-

I really want to get tattooed. and I want Justin to want to get tattooed. because I want to get tattooed together. I also want to be able to afford to get tattooed.

gluh.

ooh but I hate noisy cars.

the new kitty is coming today or tomorrow. I won't see it for a couple of weeks. I hope he and Charlie get along. oh man oh man oh man. I thought it was going to be a she. so now I'm nervous that it will spray. I don't know if they spray at such a young age. but aaahh..

I'm dizzy. I don't want to be here. I don't want to think and I don't want to write ESSAYS or read or blah. when do we have another day off.. besides Saturday and Sunday... let's see...

aHA. well. mid-term break is October 24. FAAAUUUUCCKKKK. that is not for FOREVER.

-crumple-

in other news, I may have convinced my dad to vote Democrat.

he said he will not vote for Bush again. he said he will vote for a third party. I said don't. it takes away votes from the Democrats. he said I have a very hard time voting Democrat. I said if you would rather have someone OTHER THAN Bush in office, you are going to have to vote Democrat. and he thought about it. and I hope he does.

but what if the candidate is Joe Lieberman.

I keep thinking the election is THIS November. I keep getting all excited. guh. we're not even close.

I love reading letters to the editor. one was like, Clinton and Bush both admitted they lied, but Clinton didn't ask for $87 billion to make up for it. or something. it was very short and eloquent.

I am short, but not eloquent.

vive la france.

oh yeah and do you want to know what my stomachache last night amounted to.

no. you do not.
 
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carpe dongum   
10:20am 13/09/2003
 
mood: zing
music: it's an Amelieeee song..
O_^ what EVER could she be talking about.

I am at home right now. it is...homeish. when I got here my cat pretended he didn't like me. and then this morning when I was thinking about what a jerk he is pretending I don't exist, he pawed at my door and I let him in and he SNUGGLED with me.

it was probably because it was cold in the house. a lot of the windows were open and the high for today will be around 70, so it was probably 60-something, blaaah.

I hope he likes the new kitty when we get it. aww.

yesterday was nice. my classes went by really fast. I had good times. then mum picked me up. and we talked in the car. and then I was home and I had spaghetti and chicken and salad and lemonade...

and Tory came, too. but not Jenne, because she was at school. Tory thinks he can get me REM tickets. oh, that would be hot. pretty hot. yum. I think I would rather have Simon & Garfunkel tickets, but, wow.

he also said it is NO PROBLEM for him to get tickets to shows at smaller venues like Fineline and First Ave and whatnot. that's exciting because yum. I love tiny shows like that. it has been a while..

I have been saying "yum" too much lately.

it looks like I'm going to do all my homework on Sunday. ugh, that's fine. I just need to write two essays and read some pointless shit.

laaa.

I am too quiet in class. it bothers me. I don't know what my problem is.

there are these slightly painful little bumps on the tip of my left ring finger and pinky. I don't know what they could be. warts? I didn't think warts usually happened on the pads of your finger.. I dunno, but it's weird. probably some horrible disease I inherited from regularly using a public bathroom..

yuck. oh yuck.

I forgot to ask Sunny McGrath what his middle name is. I hope it's something cool. I hope he has brothers and sisters with cool names too.

Justin came over last night and at one point we were laughing super hard and I have no idea what it was all about but he got the hiccups and he was holding his breath and whenever he held his breath I held mine and I would always burst out laughing and it was terrible. then I kissed his tummy.

and once he kicked the wall next to my bed and went OOOPSS!

ohhh man. you should have been there. I wish I could see what I look like when I laugh because it's gotta be the weirdest thing ever. my whole body heaves.

HEAVEs.

I get to see him again today!! yaaaaay. this time we are going to his house. yaaaay. I might end up having to spend another night at home. we have not worked it out yet. I would not mind.

I slept like a ROCK last night. and I woke up feeling awake. it was fabulous.

sometimes that happens at school, sometimes not. usually I sleep like a rock at school until around 7 and then I start waking up every 5 minutes.

one is the loneliest number.

I've decided I don't like the home-computer because the screen is way too big. I feel like I'm reading a large-print book intended for the visually impaired.

yech.

Morgan and I watched Amelie the other night. she liked it but not as much as she SHOULD have. god I love that movie. I love stupid Nino and grr.

there is one thing that bothers me every time I see it. it comes in two parts.

at the end, there's a guy sitting on a bench reading a magazine. it says that he just learned there are more connections in his brain than atoms in the universe.

okay, that's not TRUE. it's more connections in the brain than STARS in the universe. HUGE, unforgivable, horrific difference. um, I think the word was connections. but gah. STARS, not atoms.

and the second part of this annoyance.

why is that guy just some guy? why isn't he Collignon? the first time I saw it I thought it was because I didn't pay attentioin to his name. HE SHOULD BE COLLIGNON. he looks like him anyway. and we didn't really get to see what HAPPENED with Collignon, and that would've been a really nice way to tie up the loose end with him or at least continue his little crazy storyline. they just kind of left Collignon in the middle of the movie.

so that's what I wanted to say about that. laaa.

but man, what a great soundtrack.

I had the Lucky Charms today with the "now even BIGGER" marshmallows. HOOOO-LYYYY CRAP. not only were they huge, but they seemed to be even more PLENTIFUL. it was frickin.. it was gross. way too sugary. I don't see how parents can buy that crap for their kids and say my kid eats a good breakfast every day!

and it's only 99% sugar!

the washer is being thumpy! someone overloaded it! it sounds like there is a lot of sex going on down there. very fast sex with no vocalization. and it stopped very abruptly.

oif.

I can't believe John Ritter AND Johnny Cash are dead. you knew it was inevitable with Johnny Cash, it was going to happen soon, but John Ritter!

ungh. I can't deal with this. death is scary. I remembered to take my Advair today. huzzah! I feel way too sedentary. because I don't have to go up and down a million flights of stairs a million times a day when I'm here. I don't have to walk to class. maybe I should go downstairs and practice my sexy Taekwondo. I love it. oh man. I should have started this a long time ago.
 
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