i rule. and here's why: i finished the freakin' glen burnie tattoo parlor sidebar. no more tattoos on the brain for me until i actually have to decide what i'm getting for my 25th birthday. of course, i might still have the bartending academy sidebar to write if the owner calls me back tomorrow. but for now, i'll pretend that it's done. this means i got a goal completed. this is good. yeah, it's just one goal, but ... (to the tune of "jingle bells") baby steps, baby steps, tiny all the way.

meanwhile, i've become totally obsessed with coupling. so i decided to make my own version of the show using people i know. so i need two males and three females. henceforth, all six of us will be expected to hangout nightly and have raunchy conversations about life, love and minutiae at a posh bar where the wine flows like, um, wine. location: TBA.

first, the girls.

karan: karan will be the saucy, kooky free spirit. she always says what's on her mind, for better or worse. she is a part-time actress/nightclub singer and part-time clerk in her family's cosmopolitan organic foods store.

michelle: michelle will be the assertive, enigmatic vamp. she is very horny, well-dressed (lots of scarves) and extremely posh, and has a slew of male admirers. she runs her own beauty products company.

steph: steph will be the tart, talkative academic. whimsical but never less than reliable, she is always prepared with a deft comeback when anyone gives her shit. she teaches pop culture classes at university.

now, the boys.

adam: adam will be the brainy, irreverent anti-stud who still bags all the chicks. he is charming, a vegetarian and looks dapper in retro thrift-store fashions. he has a food column in a major metropolitan paper.

brandon: brandon will be the studly, gallant player (AKA "playa"). he uses sports and/or beer analogies for every facet of life, and he always initiates conversations with women first. he is a professional soccer player.

me: i will be the cynical, tenacious goofball. i am full of silly anecdotes and strange, exciting slang terminology, and i'm a oblivious, neurotic mess when i'm uncertain about something. i bartend at a chic watering hole.

now, i'll have to think of a pilot scenario. that will be fun. i should save that concoction for work tomorrow. that way, i'll be able to amuse myself amongst the evil monday grind, which should be all the grindier with my boss back from a week-plus vacation. until then, i'll sleep on it.

quote of the day: "sorry, i don't mean to interrupt your procrastination." deb, while chatting with me as i was putting off finishing the sidebar.